The darkness of my days, A MARBECCA fanfic
by Vizsla Girl
Summary: An ocean apart and a decade away, Marlene has found happiness, a new career and husband but by coincidence, Marlene discovers that Rebecca's life has changed significantly. Will sparks fly? (For entertainment purposes only).
1. Chapter 1

**CHAPTER 1**

 **Something old something new something borrowed something blue**

The warmth of a June summer breeze blew amongst the trees that lined the entrance of Town Square Park. White linin tablecloths ruffled in the breeze as the clinging of dishes and the familiar sounds of talk in the air noted a celebration, "You looked beautiful today," A soft voice called from behind Marlene Wolf, she quickly turned around to see her best friend standing there, "Silly you," She giggled continuing, "Grace," Marlene sauntered around her, her hand touching her shoulder with a smile, "I didn't get a chance to tell you before the wedding," Grace voiced with a gleam in her eye. Marlene stared into the dark green eyes of Grace Brandon, her best friend since her move to New Haven Connecticut ten years earlier, "You helped me pick the dress out," She calmly added in laughter, "Grace if it wasn't for you," Marlene revealed in continuance the curve of her lips gave way to a grin of happiness her blue eyes twinkle in the sunlight, "I'm surprised you didn't want a much grander wedding," Grace teased causing Marlene to stir, "You know I've been married before and I had a traditional wedding," She remarked, "I don't think Mark really cares," Grace reminder her as they picked up a glass of champagne from the table, "Let's walk," Marlene voiced, "You know when David and I married all those years ago, we just wanted to run away, elope," Grace smiled sipping her champagne, "But, my parents had other ideas," She chuckled the strands of her shoulder length black hair glistened in the light that traveled through the branches of the tree they were standing under. Marlene quickly turned her attention to her newly wedded husband, "I've never really thanked you for introducing me to such a wonderful man," She spoke with a glow on her face.

Grace briefly studied Marlene's expression, "There is no need to thank me Marlene, Mark is a gifted and talented young man who deserved to find happiness," She spoke clutching her by the arm they looked to him as he conversed with a fellow colleague, Dr. Mark Blair was a tall well built man with dusty blond hair, his jaw square but rugged his eyes of gray reflected a kind and intelligent soul. Marlene thought momentarily, "I am lucky," She stared at him getting his attention, "Hey," He walked over to her bending down and kissing her, "I think your father is a little tired," He mentioned, Marlene looked to him, "I'll check on him, if you will excuse me Grace," She started towards him, "Dad," She reached out, "Oh Marlene," He chuckled, "Mark seems to think your tired," Her voice was of concern. "I am a little," He answered looking around at the crowd, "Why don't you let us take you back to the apartment you could relax." She grabbed the base of his necktie, "And take this off," They both had a laugh, "My daughter," He began, "I'm so very proud of you, you've managed to make a career and marry a fine young man," Marlene blushed, "I'm the happiest I've ever been, living here, my schooling, meeting Mark," She remarked in agreement. Thomas looked at her with a furrowed brow his lips pursed, "Marlene I somehow don't think that was always the case," Her heart raced in anxiety. "Dad, I've put my past away and I've done something I've needed to do for a very long time, find happiness, I have," Thomas gazed at her she reminded him so much of Victoria.

"Mingle awhile longer," He ordered with a grin, "This is your wedding day," His hand brushed the side of her face. "Are you sure?" She questioned, "I think I'll have another glass of champagne and sit on that bench over there," He quickly pointed, Marlene lowered her shoulders, "We won't be long, I promise," She smiled leaving him in thoughts of their conversation. Marlene walked over to Mark, "Excuse me," He voiced to the guests he was conversing with, "Is Thomas alright," He had a look of concern.

"Traveling from Germany is long and tiring, he just arrived yesterday morning and I think he'd like to unwind, visit with his daughter," Marlene mildly advised, Mark rubbed the side of her arm, "Why don't you take him home, relax a little, visit," His smile strong and encouraging he looked at his wristwatch, "The clean up crew will be here shortly and Grace can help me attend to the guests," Marlene reached up kissing him squarely on the lips, "I love you," She added. "Go," He whispered rushing her off. "Marlene it's not necessary to leave your wedding," Thomas argued getting into the car, Marlene drove them back to the apartment they quickly changed, Marlene fixed them a glass of wine they sat out on the terrace, "Its lovely here, I can see why you've made this your home," Thomas smiled grasping his daughter's hand, "I do love it here but there are times I miss home," She blushed with a grin, "Dana and Hagen are doing well?" She questioned taking a sip of wine, "They are the farm keeps them busy and I have enjoyed visiting Hannover," He nodded, "Dana really wanted to come but with two foals due and work on the barn about to begin, well," He laughed, "I spoke to Kim last week," Marlene offered, "It seems Emilio's restaurant is doing well and Spain agrees with them both," She added laying her head on her father's shoulder. Thomas clutched her, "Does Mark, know how lucky he is?" He began to laugh, "I think he does," Marlene answered twisting her wedding ring with her thumb. "Do you think you'll ever return home, I mean even for a visit?" He hesitated, she sighed, "As I said I do miss home very much but there were a lot of bad memories for me there," She honestly answered breaking away from him she stood up staring out over the terrace, "Marlene," Thomas began, "I have to ask if you've shared with Mark your past?" She turned back facing her father with a dismal look, "Bits and pieces," She replied he lowered his head.

Thomas could see the distant look in his daughter's eyes, "I don't want to over step my boundaries," Marlene quickly interjected, "I told him I was married to Hagen that I was raped and I had some really rough times," She answered sternly. "Does he know about," Marlene once again interrupted her father, "Please dad, I, I haven't mentioned Rebecca to him, I would rather forget that hurt and pain," She became guarded, "Marlene, he needs to know the truth that's not something you keep from your husband, are you ashamed?" He asked with a furrowed brow. "Ashamed?" She echoed his words, "I loved her and we had our time, our chance but that's been years ago and I'm over her and I'm happy, why should I dredge up a past full of soured memories," Thomas stood up beside her, "You told him about Hagen, your rape are you afraid he would have left you if he discovered you were in love with another woman?" He asked her face, to face she began to weep. "I had a very difficult time after our break up, I often wondered if I made the right decisions, was I to forward with the moves I made? Coming here and settling, meeting new friends and Mark have changed my life for the better, Rebecca is just a distant memory," She remarked wiping the tears from her face. "I will have to tell Mark in good time, I will, I promise but right now I need to focus on this marriage, my career," She worded feeling at ease, she lowered her shoulders, "How are the Lahnstein's, really?" She questioned with angst, Thomas shrugged his shoulders, "I've been retired three years now, I don't hear much from them, except Elisabeth on occasion but she doesn't have very much to offer other than how are you and its good to see you," He chuckled lightly, "Oh, I guess things have changed a lot in ten years," Marlene grunted, "I spend most of my time in Hannover or Barcelona, Biggi and I visit occasionally," His smiled reflected a much milder man, "I know Dana and Kim enjoy having you," She reflected embracing him.

"Maxi has grown into a fine young man, he's very good at school and loves horses, when I return, I will spend most of the summer there helping them add on to the barn, I really enjoy my time with them and since Dana has adopted Maxi she has changed a great deal, very doting," He smiled widely. Marlene sighed and then raised her head, "I want Mark and I to visit soon, I'd like to take him to the places that were important to me as a child, I want to share our culture with him and I'd love nothing better than to visit my sisters," She began to feel a twinge of home sickness, "I've kept the apartment and you may use it anytime you'd like," He cupped his hand to her face, "Thanks dad," She replied as the door opened to the apartment, "Oh, hey," She hurried to Mark embracing and kissing him. "Have you had a good visit?" He reached forward shaking Thomas's hand, "I have but I'm very tired and need some sleep, do you mind?" He asked, Marlene followed him to the spare bedroom, "I'll wake you up when its time for dinner," She noted and then closed the door. "Well, how is he really?" Mark asked touching Marlene's face with his finger tips, "Very tired but happy for us," She smiled locking her arms around his waist, "I wish I could take you somewhere special," He grinned, "But I'm working on that," He teased, "Working on what? I know that getting married now was difficult with the case load you've had lately," She remarked, "I know but I didn't want to wait, you understand," He touched his lips to her, "Mark I know the sacrifices you've made to be the best orthopedic surgeon New Haven has ever seen," She slapped her hands to her sides, "Your too much," He pulled her closer and kissed her romantically.

Marlene took his hand and led him to the bedroom she untied his necktie and unbuttoned his shirt he groaned passionately. "Hmmm, my new husband, I love you and I want you," He began to remove her clothing slowly until she was naked they fell into bed making love until the late evening. "It's hard to believe we are finally married," He spoke rolling over and facing her, "I'm glad you convinced me," She chuckled caressing his face with the back of her hand, "I wanted to talk to you about something very important to me," He worded staring at her, "Ok, you have my undivided attention," She giggle kissing him, "I know our lives are busy," He began, "Very busy," Marlene agreed firmly her fingertip tracing his lower lip, "I want to have a child with you," Marlene felt awkward, "A child," She sighed, "You sound disappointed," He raised up on his elbow and frowned, "I'm not disappointed but rather shocked, I've just started my new job and I can't wait to work with you," She pleaded quietly, "You have worked hard and I think physical therapy is your niche, honestly but you would have plenty of time for that," He groaned, "Mark, I'm thirty five and I just don't know if having a child," He suddenly cut her off, "Marlene please don't rule it out, I know its asking a lot but I want children," She swallowed hard as she grimaced, "I need a little time to think about it," She spoke under her breath, "What's stopping us? I mean we're married," Marlene sat up on the side of the bed running her fingers through her hair she excused herself to the bathroom. "Marlene are you all right," Mark, asked her from the other side of the door.

Marlene quietly opened the medicine cabinet and removed a package of birth control pills and quickly took one, "Marlene?" Mark asked again as he knocked on the door. "I'm fine, just a minute," She was hesitant closing the cabinet slowly. "Hey," He grasped her in an embrace, "I didn't mean to upset you and I guess I was a little forward," He cleared his throat, "I should have discussed this with you earlier, I'm sorry," He apologized. "It caught me off guard that's all," She answered her jaw rigid her heart thumbing fast at his revelation, "Mark, I love you with all my heart, really I do but," She stared at him, "Shh, I understand but please," He grasped a lock of her hair, "Please just give it some thought." His eyes showed sadness, "I will," He embraced her she lay her head across his shoulder and bit her lower lip in thought. "We should dress its getting late and dad is probably ready for dinner," She order with a grin easing his worried conscience.

"Good morning," Grace met Marlene in the hallway, "Busy today," Marlene spoke moving past her, "Hey," Grace grabbed her by the arm, "How's your work load?" She asked concerned, "Mr. Bender is waiting," She answered, "Marlene," Grace stopped her again they stood in the foyer of the physical therapy room, Marlene peered through the glass window, "Did you and Mark fight, you seem on edge?" She questioned, Marlene stared briefly, "Mark, has it in his mind he wants to have a baby," She shrugged with a curt answer, Grace stood speechless, "I don't know, I didn't expect that from him, I mean we've never discussed having a child, ever," She seemed miffed to Grace, "Hmmm," She voiced in a whisper, "Did you talk to him about it?" She asked feeling her out, "I tried but he doesn't want me to rule it out, I've worked hard at getting this position and working along side of him was a dream come true," She began to tear up, "Marlene, it doesn't mean it has to happen right away," Grace tried to be the voice of reason, "Grace, I'm thirty five!" She exclaimed loudly. "Calm down Marlene," She grabbed her by the shoulders easing her tensions, "Mr. Bender is waiting, we will talk later," They parted ways.

"Dr. Blair, please come in and have a seat," Mark sat down, "Dr. Garrison," He nodded extending his hand over the desk and shaking it, "Have you made a decision?" He raised his brow as he quizzed, "I have, I've decided on the fellowship to Düsseldorf Germany," He answered, Marlene was in the back of his mind, "Ah, good choice, I'll contact Dr. Bruno Kessler and let him know you've accepted, I hate to lose good talent like you but Saint Vincent's is in need of someone with your skills and new techniques," He smiled sitting back in his chair, "Its only for two years," Mark assured him, "Have you told your lovely new wife," He asked signing the paperwork for the fellowship, "I haven't, I wanted to surprise her, we haven't even had a honeymoon yet and I think this will be perfect, "Will you have her working along side you?" He inquired handing him the travel documents, "Yes it will be good experience for her and she'll be amongst the people she knows and loves," He voiced, "I think you need to share with her," Dr. Garrison smiled walking him to the door. Mark found his way to the physical therapy room where Marlene was finishing up with her last patient, "Hey," He surprised her as she walked through the door, "Can we talk? Its important," He pulled her off to the side, "Sure, what's up?" She still felt discomfort from their earlier conversation, "I will just get to the point," He took in a deep breath gazing into her eyes, "I have decided to accept a two year fellowship," He began she stood listening, "We will be moving to Düsseldorf," He smiled widely hoping for a good response from her, "What?" She seemed shocked and in dismay, "My skills are needed and with the new techniques I've been working on this is a real chance for me to share my talents and you'll be working along side of me," He crossed his arms and leaned against the door. "I wish I would've known about this before hand," Her eyes began to water, "Don't you want to share the news with your father I'm sure he'll be elated," He embraced her tightly, "And we should pack we will be leaving next week," He brushed his lips against hers.


	2. ChapterII

**CHAPTER II**

 **The storms of life**

"Rebecca," Elisabeth called to her, she quickly turned her head away from the window, "Yes," She meekly answered. "It's a beautiful day would you like to sit out on the terrace?" She asked, "I would," Her reply seemed happy, "Do you want to try and walk or should I get the wheelchair?" She asked slipping on her sweater, "Walk, as long as we take it slow," She grimaced clutching her left leg. Elisabeth locked her arm within Rebecca's and took the tiny steps needed to navigate the terrace she sat her down, "I could have Justus bring coffee or tea?" She quizzed laying a throw across Rebecca's legs. "Tea sounds good, with lemon," She cracked a grin taking in the fresh air of early summer. "Bring a tray with tea and lemons Justus, please," Elisabeth relayed he nodded, "Dr. Kessler called this morning and we may have some good news," She started talking, Rebecca craned her head around, "Really and what might that be?" She asked with curiosity, "A new orthopedic surgeon is coming to Düsseldorf from the States, seems he has some new technique that might help your situation," She responded, "An American doctor?" Her questioned guarded, "I know." Elisabeth rubbed her forearm. "Hopefully he will be able to help, don't give up hope and keep your chin up," Elisabeth chuckled pointing an index finger to her. Rebecca sighed deeply, "I don't know if I can take another surgery, three is enough and if I can't get full mobility then what will I do? I hurt Elisabeth," She began to weep. "Now, now it's worth a try, don't you think?" She advised her, "We will see, at least I can hear him out," She eased Elisabeth's worried mind with her positive words.

"Will Lizette be visiting soon?" Elisabeth questioned sipping her tea, "She has an assignment in Amsterdam and then off to Brussels for a photo shoot," Rebecca replied, "Why?" She further questioned, "Tristan will be coming and you know the less dissension we have the better his visit will be," She reminded her, "Ugh," Rebecca grunted under her breath, "He should get past his negative feelings about Lizette," She crossed her arms in a huff cutting an eye to Elisabeth, "I'm sorry Tristan feels the way he does the rest of the family has tried to remain positive," Rebecca quickly interjected, "I love her, what else can I say, yes she's pushy and spoiled," Rebecca's voice heightened. "Calm down Rebecca," Elisabeth ordered, "We've all tolerated her negativity at least since the accident she's settled herself some," She cautiously spoke, "It's not her fault," Rebecca became defensive, "No one said it was her fault," She resounded, "I don't want to argue with my brother but he has to stop this, she's my girlfriend and has supported me through it all," She implored. Elisabeth became mum thinking back to the terrible motorcycle accident that nearly took her life. "When will I see the new Doctor?" She inquired changing the subject. "Dr. Kessler told me he would set up an appointment for you as soon as he has conformation," Elisabeth remarked, "I'm tired now if you don't mind I'd like to go back to the orangery," Elisabeth escorted her in. "I've some paperwork to finish for the quarterly statements," She looked up to Elisabeth as she helped her to the table. "Rest awhile, we will go over them at dinner," She commanded leaving her to think.

Rebecca mulled over the quarterly statements for LCL, now in charge she no longer designed but managed a group of designers that fit the concepts of an exclusive fashion house. She sat back in her chair and tossed the ink pen down to the stack of papers she had been working on she rubbed the side of her leg and began to, flex, it just as the physical therapist had taught her to do when she had the previous surgery the year before. "Dammit," She bit her tongue as she could feel the tightness of the muscle engulf her leg in a series of sharp pains. Rebecca stood up moving her leg to and fro in an attempt to relax the tightness she stumbled into the bedroom and lay across the bed she rolled over straightening herself out and fetched her cell phone from her pocket she text Lizette, "I'm missing you," Her fingers touched the screen thinking of her she stared at it but the screen was blank she tossed it to the side grimacing until she could maneuver herself into a relaxed position. Rebecca closed her eyes surviving the noticeable pain she had experienced earlier, ding, ding went her text she picked her cell phone back up and found there to be a message from Lizette, "I love and miss you my sweet," It said she sent a picture of herself dressed in a bikini she was about to model, "Wow," Rebecca groaned parting her lips and whistling. "I'll see you in a few days, I love you," Another text came in, "And I you, see you soon," She answered. Rebecca closed her eyes and began to drift in to a, much needed sleep, "Rebecca," A voice echoed in the back of her mind, a misty cloud covered her, "Was there something you wanted to tell me?" The voice of a woman called from her dream.

Rebecca started to wriggle she grimaced, "Lizette," She uttered as her body twitched her mind's eyes circling her lover, "Yes, I," Then sudden darkness she screamed awakening the sweat poured from her brow she raised up gasping for air. Rebecca felt the crescent shaped scar that flanked the corner of her right eye, "God," She quickly laid back down placing her hands behind her head and stared at the ceiling a knock came to the door. "Countess dinner is about to be served, shall I take the paperwork to the table?" Justus called from the doorway, "Yes Justus that will be fine," She sat up on the bed swinging her feet to the floor, "Give me a bit and I'll be there," She voiced, "Do you need help? I could help you to the dinning room," He further added, she sighed deeply, "No thank you Justus this is something I need to do on my own," She groaned in an answer, "Very well, I will take this paperwork and inform Elisabeth you will be down shortly," He collected the paperwork and closed the door. Rebecca pulled herself up and began the daunting task of walking to the dinning room she took her seat next to Elisabeth, "Did you rest?" She asked, "I did, somewhat," She thought back to the dream and the haziness of its meaning, "Are you not hungry?" Elisabeth noticed Rebecca picking at the food on her plate, "Not really," She hung her head, "Rebecca is there something troubling you?" She asked with caution, "I keep having this dream and I don't know what it means," She frowned rubbing her temples. Elisabeth could tell that Rebecca was still experiencing some problems with her memory. "Lizette is calling to me in my dream but I don't know why, I go blank and then darkness," She trembled as she spoke.

"Maybe your trying too hard to remember," Elisabeth offered, Rebecca sighed, "I don't know what any of it means and I'm frustrated, angry," She confessed as she wept. "Rebecca," Elisabeth began, "You took a hard blow to the head and you were unconscious for days, I know how hard it must be and your frustrations show because you lash out more so than you ever have," She was honest her hand brushing the sleeve of Rebecca's shirt, "But still Elisabeth I just can't help but think something major was about to happen in my life," She pleaded rationally, "Coffee Justus," Elisabeth motioned, "I know one day you'll remember but don't be disappointed it will come to you when you least expect it," Her smile encouraged Rebecca, "Tristan, is he coming soon?" Rebecca asked changing the subject, "Yes he has some banking business to attend to and was hoping to be here as soon as your appointment with the new Doctor is set up, I told him the exciting news," Rebecca sighed laying her fork down, "I miss him and Ann and of course the girls," She reminisced, "Zurich was the best move for them," Elisabeth chuckled, "It doesn't hurt that Ann is from there it made the move a lot more easier for him," She surmised finishing dinner. "Lizette, have you spoken with her?" Elisabeth broached the subject again. "Yes earlier, she modeled today and will most likely leave for Brussels tomorrow," She answered happily. "I assume she'll be returning before the week's end?" Rebecca cleared her throat and sipped her water, "Yes, I miss her." Elisabeth nodded, "I guess we should go over the paperwork?" Rebecca was in agreement.

Rebecca soaked in a hot tub a wine glass adorned the side of it as she relaxed with her eyes closed, "Madam," A calming voice kindly spoke, "Would you like for me to freshen your wine glass," Rebecca suddenly opened her eyes, "Lizette, welcome home," She giggled they kissed, "Shall I join you?" She questioned with an arch in her brow as she knelt next to the tub, "Hmmm," She teased the side of her arm with her index finger, Lizette Marlow was tall and shapely with eyes the color of sapphire that gave way to shoulder length light brown hair, her smile appealing, her lips slightly curved to meet a small turned up nose, "Have I told you how much I love you," She asked Rebecca tracing her lips with her tongue, "Why don't you show me," She begged reaching up and unbuttoning the top of her shirt, Lizette quickly unclothed herself and slid into the warm sudsy water that beckoned her. Rebecca's eyes traced the lines of her bikini straps, "Seems Brussels was warm and sunny," Lizette looked down to her chest, "Uh yes we modeled these unique bikinis on the riverwalk, it was an all day affair," She directly voiced swigging the last of the wine in Rebecca's glass, "I see," She took the glass from her sitting it back down on the side of the tub and moved forward grasping her and kissing her, "Make love to me," Lizette ordered slipping her tongue between Rebecca's lips they existed the tub falling into bed for an afternoon of romance.

Elisabeth sat in the study reviewing the quarterly reports for LCL when she was suddenly interrupted by a familiar voice, "Good afternoon," Tristan called from the doorway as he leaned against it, "Tristan," She stood up meeting him halfway they embraced. "Ann and the girls?" He smiled, "Her parents for the next few days," He spoke pouring a scotch. "We were looking forward to seeing them," She mentioned he sat down, "How's my little sister," He asked taking a sip and grimacing, "Well, good days and bad days but I'm hoping we have good news, as I told you on the phone," Tristan sat his half emptied glass on the desk, "I'm not letting my guard down" He smiled, "Dr. Kessler has contacted me and told me the new Doctor is coming from America soon on a fellowship and obviously he's a gifted orthopedic surgeon with some type of new techniques," She seemed elated to him. "Ok so does this mean Rebecca will be his lab rat?" He seemed pessimistic to her as he swigged another sip of his scotch, "Tristan at the least we should try, hear him out, Dr. Kessler seems keen on this young man," Elisabeth furrowed her brow, "True and you are right it wouldn't hurt, when is the appointment?" He looked to his wristwatch, "He will be arriving soon, Dr. Kessler has assured me he will contact me immediately," She voiced. "I have a dinner engagement, Lizette?" Tristan firmly asked, "She's here, for how long I don't know but for Rebecca's sake try to be civil," She became stern his look was sullen, "I need to freshen up a bit, I will see you in the morning," He answered without mentioning another word about Lizette. Elisabeth began to tap her fingers on the desk top she text Rebecca as a warning.

Tristan existed the door of his bedroom and straightened up his necktie, he tugged at the edge of the lapel of his suit jacket in preparation for his dinner meeting, "My, my," The voice of a woman called from down the hall she carried a bottle of wine in her hand, "Tristan," Lizette spoke in a cunning tone, "Lizette," He rebuffed his throat tightened with anxiety, "Hmmm, a bottle of wine, tell me Lizette is that what it takes?" He gruffly voiced cutting an eye to her, "And what might that mean?" She played on his words, "Is that what it takes to screw my sister?" He pointed to the bottle of wine in her hand she quickly looked down to it, "Fuck you Tristan!" She exclaimed, he laughed, "Don't you wish," He moved closer and became face to face with her his breath steamy she stared, "Such a sex kitten," He grasped a lock of hair in his hand, "So tell me," He further questioned, "While you were away, how many marks did you notch on the bed post?" Her face became red, gritting her teeth in shear anger she pulled away from him, "I love your sister," She began to walk away from him, "Whatever do you mean?" She continued in a timid voice her eye shifted an angry look, "You know exactly what I mean, Rebecca will realize one day that your nothing but a needy, money grubbing slut," He winced loudly slamming his fist against the wall, "I think you're a little envious, sad," She coldly remarked. "Well, I don't want to be late for my meeting," He once again tugged at his necktie, "Tell Rebecca I asked after her," He worded turning and leaving her. Lizette's eyes followed him down the hall she grasped the wine bottle tighter and thought about what he exactly knew about her, his strange desires to pick her apart overwhelmed her.

"Where have you been?" Rebecca asked raising up on her elbows and gazed at her waiting for an answer, "Uh," She stuttered, "I met Tristan coming down the hallway," She set the wine bottle down on the nightstand, "Hmmm, he's here, Elisabeth text me" She laid back in the bed pulling Lizette down to her, "He was dressed in a suit and going somewhere," She remarked kissing her and then stood back up, Rebecca opened the wine bottle and poured them a glass, "Come here," She ordered Lizette tapping her hand on the top of the bed she knelt beside her again, their lips meeting in a erotic kiss, Rebecca with unease suddenly flinched, "Rebecca are you ok?" Lizette had a look of concern she grasped and rubbed her leg, "Just some tightness," She remarked, "Poor baby," She offered helping her massage the side of her leg. "I have some news," She began to talk, "News?" Lizette asked, "Yes there's this new Doctor coming from the States, an orthopedic guy who might be able to help me," She spoke positively, Lizette sighed cautiously, "Don't get your hopes up the last three haven't been too successful and I worry about you," She honestly remarked, Rebecca frowned, "I know but at the least I can hear him out, see if what he has to offer is right for me," She wanted to be positive but felt the angst and fears of going through another surgery, "Remember the physical therapy was very hard for you," She reminded her. Lizette touched her fingertips to the side of her face, Rebecca grasped her hand kissing it, "I have to try and I need your support that's all I'm asking," Lizette stared deeply into her eyes, "I will, I love you Rebecca," She confessed. They fell back into the confines of the bed making love.


	3. Chapter III

**CHAPTER III.**

 **Reverie is but a dream**

"I will miss you," Grace firmly grasped Marlene around the neck, "And I you my friend," She replied with a slight harshness in her voice, "I'm certain your excited, going home and all must be a real dream for you," Grace noted but felt a strange vibe from Marlene. "I wasn't expecting to leave so suddenly," She sighed deeply with angst, "Mark just sprang this on me and I haven't even had time to give it good thought," She clamored. "Marlene," Grace began with some hesitation, "Mark is a gifted surgeon and an opportunity like this only comes once in a lifetime, you're his wife now and I know you were hoping for a career here, its not forever, look on the bright side you will be going home and you can teach him so much about where you come from, your life there," Grace advised warmly. Marlene lowered her head, "Seems Mark and David have their heads together," She quickly changed the subject staring at her husband from across the room, "Zurich in July, the conference, David has assured me we will be visiting you soon," She laughed. "Yes, that's great news, my father will be gone for the summer to Hannover, Dana and Hagen are adding on to the barn and he'll be working for them so we will have plenty of room in the apartment," She worded in an upbeat tone. "Have you talked to Mark any further about having a baby?" She asked calmly, "No, I'm just not ready," She spoke with a half grin. "Are you using protection?" Grace interjected, "I, uh, well, he doesn't know I'm taking the pill," She finally told the truth her heart pounded as she looked Grace directly in the eyes.

"Marlene," She gasped under her breath, "You shouldn't keep that from him, he has the right to know your true feelings," She scolded under her breath as they both approached them, "Ladies," David grasped Grace by the arm, "Dinner was great, I have a very early morning and I know you two have some last minute things to do," He added as they walked to the door, "Safe travels," Grace worded with a tear in her eye, "Don't cry its only for a short time," Mark bellowed, Marlene quietly gazed at her best friend, "July will be here before you know it," He finished stating seeing them out. Mark frowned, "David took it well," He mentioned with a smile pouring himself another glass of wine, "However Grace appeared broken hearted," Marlene swallowed hard and then embraced him, "She'll be ok, they'll visit soon," Mark pulled back from her, "She seemed a little concerned about you," He remarked, "Not at all," She looked at him strangely, Mark looked around the apartment, "I've decided to sublet the apartment, a young intern has inquired and will be starting at the hospital next week," Marlene shrugged her shoulders, "Oh," She turned from him and began to think, "Are you alright," He touched her shoulder and turned her back to face him, "You didn't discuss with me subletting the apartment, I'm your wife," She explained in an angered tone of voice, "Now Marlene, I was sure you wouldn't mind," She crossed her arms in a huff, "Mark I can't say I'm pleased, I'm your wife and these things should include me," She spoke sternly. "Aren't you being a little oversensitive Marlene?" He questioned her with a groan.

Marlene sighed, "Oversensitive, really, you think I'm oversensitive?" She began to pace, "Your blowing this all out of proportion, don't you think?" He commented following behind her, "Marlene," He stopped her and clutched her by the arms, "I'm sorry but I don't want to argue with you either, it's apparent I didn't take the time to think about how you would feel," He sighed rolling his eyes he caressed her face with the back of his hand, "I love you," He further stated. Marlene lowered her shoulders giving in to his charms, "I love you too but I just want to be included in decisions that involve us Mark, that's all I'm asking," She echoed her thoughts loudly. "You're right I should have taken that into consideration," He answered running his fingers through his hair. "I should finish packing," Marlene pointed to the bedroom, "I have some things to finalize at the hospital, I won't be gone long," He bent down and kissed her cheek she closed the door behind him and rested herself against the back of it as her cell began to ring, "Grace," She voiced aloud and then answered, "I know your busy," She started to talk as Marlene walked to the bedroom and flipped open her suitcase, "I can talk, Mark had to go to the hospital," There was a moment of silence, "Are you alright?" Grace finally spoke, "I will be," She answered meekly. "Marlene you have to tell Mark about not wanting to have a baby," She ordered in a friendly tone, "I will soon we need to get settled in Düsseldorf and then I promise I will," She remarked with firmness, "Don't postpone it too long you know it will only cause problems," She reminded her, "Anyway I just wanted to tell you I love you and have a safe trip," Marlene grinned widely we will, I'll call soon," They hung up she finished packing.

"Good morning Ms. Von Lahnstein," Dr. Victor Rothman spoke to Rebecca as he picked up her chart and perused it, "Good morning Dr. Rothman," She replied he looked into her eyes with a scope, "Any headaches?" He casually asked the light shining brightly in her pupils, "No its been about six months," She answered he pulled the scope away, "Any pain in the neck or temple region?" He further questioned touching the crescent shaped scar on the corner of her right eye, "No just my leg," She winced, "I hear from Dr. Kessler a new surgeon is taking the fellowship here and might be able to help you," He voiced listening to the sound of her heart through his stethoscope, "I won't get my hopes up," She muttered, "Well I think your good and I won't need to see you again unless you have any other head pain," She seemed elated to him, "I wish you good luck and I'm hoping the new surgeon will be able to fix your problem," He stated releasing her, "Thank you Dr. Rothman," She collected her purse and sweater and existed his office. Elisabeth waited outside in the foyer, "Well, what did he say?" She eagerly quizzed, "I'm good to go, the headaches have subsided and I won't need to see him again that is if I don't have anymore, headaches," She then reached and touched the scar on her face, a constant reminder of the terrible accident she had. They walked out, "Mrs. Lentz has prepared a special lunch for you," She helped her into the car, Rebecca slowly exhaled before speaking, "Dr. Rothman mentioned that new surgeon, have you heard anything from Dr. Kessler?" She questioned with an arch in her brow.

Elizabeth smiled, "Actually while you were in with Dr. Rothman, I met with Dr. Kessler and he has set up an appointment for Monday," She spoke flipping the appointment card up to Rebecca's face she took it and stared at it a tear came to her eye, "Don't cry," Elisabeth handed her a tissue, "I just don't know, this is overwhelming, now that my headaches have gone away and the blurred vision I've had has finally ceased I can focus on getting this leg of mine back in order but I'm not going to be let down again, I'm going to stay positive and work hard," She remarked boldly. "Dr. Kessler said you would most likely need a lot of rigorous therapy to get you back up to par," Rebecca groaned at the sound of that, "Let's face it Karl was a terrible unfeeling, uncaring therapist, I don't want him ever again!" She exclaimed loudly causing Elisabeth to shudder, "Ok but you have to be positive, tell me," She continued with a cautious stare, "Is Lizette still here?" Rebecca impishly grinned, "Lizette, Lizette," She worded in a silly tone, "She left early this morning a shoot in London and then to New York for summer fashion days, why?" Elisabeth swallowed hard, "Tristan will want to be here for your appointment," She voiced in an attempt to be reasonable, Rebecca grunted mildly, "He should get over his weirdness about her, we are in love, why can't he see she makes me happy and with her travel it keeps enough distance between us so that our relationship doesn't get stale," She crossed her arms in a huff, "He's concerned for you that's all," She replied honestly, "He has a strange way of showing it, he badgers her and is offensive at times, I love my brother but he should get used to the fact, I may even ask her to marry me at some point," She ponder loudly catching Elisabeth off guard.

Marlene walked quietly through the apartment she once lived in Mark began to bring in the luggage, "Where do you want these?" He asked setting them inside the doorway, "There is fine," She murmured. Marlene felt strange she hadn't returned here in ten years but strangely enough it was like yesterday to her she picked up a picture of her family and rubbed it gently with her thumb. "It's been forever," She spoke under her breath sitting the frame back down on the shelf and turning to face the doorway. Mark reentered with the last of the luggage in his hand, "Wow, I'm certainly tired now, did you buy out the department store before we left?" He teased modestly she walked over and embraced him, "No, that's just my wardrobe," She snickered they kissed tongues twisted in a lovers knot, "I need a nap," He winced, "Me too," She took his hand and showed him into her old bedroom the room was bare with a bed and dresser left in it he looked around, "Seems whomever had this room before took everything," Marlene frowned, "Kim and Emilio, when they moved to Barcelona a few years ago I guess they took most of the furniture," Mark sat on the bed and pulled her down beside him, "I would love to meet them," He voiced she smiled, "I think that can be arranged, why don't we talk about it after we rest," Marlene giggled he lay her down beside him and rolled over to face her, "I know I wanted to rest but I could make love to you right now," He commanded firmly his index finger rested under her chin he pulled her face up to meet his their lips touching in sexual desire. Marlene closed her eyes as he began to unbutton her shirt she cleared her throat, "I'm rather tired," She placed her hand against his chest, His mouth moved to the side of her neck he ran his tongue along it, "Please Mark," She winced a bit he stopped lying back down placing his hands behind his head.

Rebecca sipped her coffee in anticipation of her appointment, Elisabeth followed by Tristan sat to the breakfast table, "Good morning," She spoke sounding lively for an early morning, Tristan yawned laying the cloth napkin across his lap, "I guess you couldn't sleep," He remarked with a grin, "I couldn't, I'm nervous yet excited," Elisabeth drank her coffee, "We are all hoping for good things from this appointment," Justus chimed in. "Thank you Justus," She replied they ate breakfast, Tristan had the driver to pull the car around and pick them up, "Don't be so nervous," Tristan ordered he grasped Rebecca's arm, "Stop fidgeting," He continued, "I can't help but be pessimistic Tristan," She relayed with a shrug of her shoulders, "But you were upbeat this morning," He argued mildly, "How is Ann, the girls?" She quickly changed the subject as she tried to hide her anxiousness. "Ann is doing well handling the girls they keep her busy, Bridgett starts school this year," He winked grabbing her hand and tightening his grip on it, "Oh that's exciting, your lucky, you've met someone who worships you and the girls are sweet and beautiful," She relayed kindly, "We're here," The driver pulled up to the circle driveway in front of the hospital, "Let me help you," Tristan raced to the other side of the car and opened the door for her he took her by the hands and allowed her to regain her motion, "I'm good," They walked over to the elevator and entered.

Rebecca signed in and sat next to Tristan and awaited her name to be called, "Rebecca Von Lahnstein," The nurse approached her, "Yes," She looked up to her, "Dr. Blair will be ready to see you momentarily they followed her back to the exam room, Tristan sat in the corner chair he crossed his legs in an attempt to relax, "Dr. Mark Blair," He announced entering the room, Rebecca looked up to the tall figure of a man who might be able to help her out his eyes gleamed his face handsome she felt somewhat at ease, "Tristan, Tristan Von Lahnstein," He extended his hand out, "Husband?" He inquired, "No brother," Mark quickly turned his attention to Rebecca, "Rebecca," He smiled shaking her hand and took a seat on the stool in front of her, "Let me begin by saying I'm honored to be here and I'm hoping I can help you down the road to recovery," Rebecca sighed deeply, "I won't be disappointed," She assured him, "I've come from America, New Haven, Connecticut to be exacted where I practiced sports medicine, orthopedically, I've done many surgeries on sports figures and I've travelled here on a fellowship in hopes of teaching others some of my successful techniques," He boasted proudly but mildly. "So let me start by asking you Rebecca, what do you want?" She thought for a moment not speaking her thoughts wondered back to the words New Haven she squinted her eyes as it sounded so familiar she looked to him, "I want to be able to work again, I mean I work from home but I want to be able to stand alongside the people that work for me, I want to run again and dance with my girlfriend," She answered firmly, "I see," He took in a deep breath and stood up pulling out an x -ray of her leg, the last surgery she had he held it up to the light where they could see the pins that held the delicate bones together she grimaced looking at it her stomach churned she reached her hand down to her leg and gently rubbed it.

"Actually the pins in place were done rather well," He remarked pointing out a few things about them. "But isn't there an issue with stiffness and some mobility?" He questioned her she quickly answered him, "Yes and I have a sharp pain often," She added, "The bone is healed but I see scar tissue surrounding an area along the side of the knee that could be reduced, I would want to place a small but narrow plate with a new set of pins along that side of your knee, it would be cupped so as not to rub the muscle," He spoke in medical terms that was a little confusing to her, "I would like to do some blood work and an MRI if possible right a way," He insisted laying the x – ray down and moving back over to her he flexed her leg pressing his fingertips against it," She groaned, he pulled away from her, "When?" She asked with a smile, "Tomorrow first thing, nothing to eat or drink after midnight and I'll have my nurse right the orders for you," He responded, "There will be quite a bit of physical therapy you'll have to go through," He cleared his throat and looked at both Rebecca and Tristan, "My wife will be your therapist, you know her, I believe she was married to your older brother," Rebecca and Tristan first looked at one another and then him somewhat shocked Rebecca felt her heart race she felt confused and uncertain, "Marlene Wolf," The words rang from Tristan's mouth, "Yes Marlene," Mark resounded, "If that's not a problem for you?" He questioned, Rebecca felt guarded a lump formed in her throat Tristan was at a loss for words the shock needed to wear off, "Well you're a lucky man," Rebecca finally spoke. "I am," He was elated to say, Tristan remained quite helping Rebecca to the door, "I will sit down with you after your MRI and we'll talk again he followed them out.

"Are you alright?" Tristan asked as they made themselves comfortable in the backseat of the car, "Marlene," She whispered, "Certainly you didn't forget her or did you?" His questioning was abrupt, "No, I, I," She stopped talking, "I would have never imagined in a million years I would ever hear her name again," Tristan mumbled looking at his sister, "I must say I'm shocked, Marlene a physical therapist," She remarked, Tristan shrugged his shoulders, "People change and they find new challenges," He reminded her, "It's been years," Rebecca shook her head with a smile, "I think back to what we had and how great it was but then it was also a challenge," Tristan touched her hand, "She was your greatest love, you can't deny what you two had." His voice sentimental, "Yes but life goes on and she wanted something else and apparently she's found it," Rebecca reminded him. Tristan became quiet he thought of Lizette and then Marlene comparing the two in his mind he loosened his necktie clearing his throat, "I wonder how Lizette will react to Marlene," He worded under his breath.


	4. Chapter IV

**CHAPTER IV.**

 **Time in a bottle**

Mark set at his desk thumbing through the folders of the patients he had seen earlier in the day, "Hey," Marlene opened the door he laid his ink pen down and rubbed his face, "Come in," He invited her she slowly walked towards him and laid her hands on his shoulders, "I love you," She bent down kissing his cheek, "I've had a long day," He set the folders aside and clutched her around the waist, "How was your day?" He asked grinning, "A couple of geriatric patients and one six year old healing from a broken leg," She answered. Mark thought briefly, "I did meet someone you know today," Marlene looked at him strangely, "Really who?" She quizzed prodding him with her fist, "Your ex sister in law, Rebecca, Rebecca Von Lahnstein," He spoke staring at her she felt flushed her heart beating erratically, "Rebecca," She mentioned quietly, "Yes she's one of my new challenges and I will most likely do surgery on her soon," He became serious crossing his arms, Marlene backed away, "Surgery, why? I mean what's wrong?" She could hardly speak. "Some type of accident, I'll study her medical records more as soon as I do an MRI and some lab work then I'll know in which direction I'll want to take her," Marlene shook inside, "Rebecca hurt, how?" She wondered asking herself, "I think she'll be an excellent candidate for your therapy ritual," Marlene gulped, "Me," She touched her hand to her chest. "Yes you, I think she would feel more comfortable with someone she knows, is there a problem?" He asked with concern. "I just don't think it's a good idea that's all," She versed sharply, "Did something happen between you two?" He inquired.

Marlene hesitated, "No, I mean why would you say that?" She added looking him directly in the eyes, "Because I know you, I feel there may be some animosity where her brother is concerned after all you were married to him and part of her family," He sighed speaking truthfully. Marlene lowered her head she hadn't been exactly truthful, "Its not that," She began he grabbed her by her arms, "She's in need and I'm not trying to rectify what might have happened between you," Marlene shuddered at his words, "I don't think you can," She spoke under her breath as she turned away from him, "Don't rule it out Marlene, I need you and I need your talent and skills," He offered kindly. "Will you let me think on it?" She quizzed sternly, "I will but not too long, I do an MRI tomorrow," He sat back down to his desk and began rifling through the folders he had set to the side. "I think I'll go home," She slipped off her lab coat and hung it up on the coat rack behind the door of his office. "I'll be home in an hour or so," He looked to his wristwatch, "How about dinner out tonight?" She questioned leaving, "Sounds good," She smiled and waved goodbye. Marlene walked out into the warmth of the summer evening the wind gently rustled through the leaves of the tress that surrounded the front of the hospital she began to walk and think, think of the woman she once loved and gave her heart to she found a bench and sat down laying her face in her hands, "I just can't go through another bad situation," She gasped loudly.

Rebecca, Tristan and Elisabeth sat down for a quiet dinner, "So Marlene is married to Dr. Blair and is now a physical therapist," Elisabeth began to mull over the news from them, "Yes, I was surprised," Rebecca chimed in, "Me too," Tristan added," Sipping his wine, "But maybe this new Doctor and her physical therapy will help Rebecca that's my concern," He grinned as he spoke, "And how do you feel about this?" Elisabeth questioned Rebecca with curiosity, "I really haven't given it much thought, I have to get through the surgery first and lets face it Karl was not a very good therapist so a change might be for the best," She answered. "If you ask me I think we are on the right path," Tristan interjected thinking of a way to get rid of Lizette. "Well I have lab work and an MRI early so if you'll excuse me I need a hot shower and some sleep," She removed herself from the table. Rebecca stepped into the hot shower allowing its drops to soothe her aching body she ran her fingers through her wet hair giving thought to Marlene, what would it be like to see her again she towel dried herself and plopped in the bed naked she closed her eyes when she was suddenly startled by the ringing of her cell phone, "Good evening my love," She excitedly answered, "How did it go?" Lizette asked, Rebecca hesitated, "Good, I like him very much, very handsome," She teased, "Handsome? Do I need to catch the next flight home?" She rebuffed in a joking manner, "No," Rebecca thought for a second, "You're the only one for me," She insisted. "So tell me what happened," She waited in suspense. "An MRI and lab work, see where we are at," She replied climbing under the covers.

"Do you feel comfortable about this test or what he had to say?" Lizette asked in a worried tone, "I liked him he seemed positive and thinks he can make a difference, I'm keeping my fingers crossed," She answered clearly. "Well, I know its getting late there and I have a hectic schedule tomorrow but don't worry my love I'll be home in a few days," Rebecca smiled, "I can't wait to see you, we should talk when you come home," She became serious, "You sound different, is everything alright?" She responded, "Everything is fine, I'm just full of hope and I want you to be a part of it every step of the way," Her voice surreal, "Rebecca I'd say your wanting a serious commitment," Lizette waited for her response, "We will talk about it when you come home." She retorted leaving Lizette to feel more confident about their relationship. Rebecca hung up the phone and fell into a much, needed deep sleep.

"Good morning, Ms. Von Lahnstein or should I call you Rebecca?" Dr. Blair asked as he looked over her MRI, "Rebecca please," She watched him look over her chart, "I think I can help you but it will require a major surgery," She followed him to his office, "Ok so tell me what will it entail?" She became nervous. "I want to remove the old pins and replace them with a plate and a new set of pins, I, think this will give you better mobility as I told you earlier the plate will be small and cupped so that it doesn't rub on the muscle, I know there has been an issue with rigidness in the muscle and your experiencing some stiffness and sharp pain at times," He versed, "Is there a guarantee?" She asked firmly he sighed, "There's never a guarantee but I feel with a corrective surgery and some good physical therapy you'll do just fine," He closed the chart and tossed it to the desk, "You mentioned something about Marlene," She began with some hesitation, "Yes have you thought about using her as your therapist?" He eagerly asked, "I have and if you feel she will do a good job of getting me back on my feet then I don't have a problem with it," Her smile enlightened him, "I did mention it to her and she was a little apprehensive at first," Rebecca stopped him, "Does she not want to work with me?" Her heart pounded, "I don't think its that, I think she'll felt a little caught off guard, I don't know," He frowned as he thought, "Was there a problem between the two of you?" His questioning caused her to feel pensive, she stuttered for a second, "Uh, no not at all," She picked up her purse a cold chill encompassed her, "I should go, when would you want to set up the surgery?" She asked trying to hold back the tears. "As soon as I receive the results of your lab work, so you want to move forth I assume?" He walked her to the door, "I do," She managed a half grin, "I'll call," He saw her out.

Tristan held Rebecca's hand she lay on the gurney dressed in a hospital gown he brushed her brow with his fingertips, "Shh," He smiled and then held her hand again, "Elisabeth?" She asked feeling groggy from the sedation she was given to relax, "In the waiting room," He looked towards the door, "Dr. Blair allowed me to be with you until they get ready to take you to the operating room, I love you my little sister," His eyes became clouded with tears, "Hey, I'll be alright," She raised her hand up and cupped his face in her palm, "Ms. Von Lahnstein," The nurse's voice called to her, "We're ready to take you down," She rolled her eyes looking at Tristan, "I'll be ok," She whispered, "I know you will," He laughed wiping his eyes and leaving her to the nurses. "Tristan," Elisabeth tugged at his suit jacket, "Your pacing again, "I can't help it," He winced, "Von Lahnstein," Dr. Blair called out taking the surgical cap from his head and tucking it in his pocket, Tristan rushed to him with Elisabeth behind him, "She's fine and in recovery the surgery went better than I expected and I'm hoping for a full recovery and much better use of her leg," He stated, "But I must remind you that she has a long road of hard work ahead of her," He finished the conversation, Elisabeth smiled and felt the tensions she had ease, "Thank you, thank you so much," She smiled widely, "It was my honor, now if you'll excuse me I have a patient to check on and as soon as Rebecca is awake we will have her moved to a room and you can visit," He turned and walked through the double doors.

Rebecca laid quietly, motionless, in recovery the door to the holding room cracked open, Marlene slowly entered staring at the closed eyed Rebecca the beeping of the monitor that was still attached to her startled her briefly, "Rebecca," She whispered her throat formed a lump she moved closer bending over and gazing at the crescent shaped scar that defined the side of her right eye she studied its shape reaching her finger forward and touching it, "What happened to you," She felt strange and unguarded as she asked, Rebecca groaned opening one eye and then the other she felt dryness in her mouth, "Water," She could barely get the words out she moaned and wriggled the grimacing of her face said it all to Marlene, "I'll get you a cup of water just lie still," She stepped away quickly returning, "Just a small sip they'll be moving you to a room soon." Rebecca mustard the strength to raise her head and take a sip, "Thank you," She managed to say, "Rest," Marlene bent forward as Rebecca closed her eyes, Lizette watched from the window grasping the knob and swinging the door open, "And you are who?" She announced looking at the pretty blond standing over Rebecca, "Hello," Marlene sat the glass down and took in a deep breath, "I'm Marlene Blair and I'll be Rebecca's physical therapist," She arched her brow. Lizette rushed to Rebecca's side brushing her forehead with the back of her hand, "Therapist?" She quizzed with uncertainty, "Yes therapist and how did you manage to get into the recovery bay? Its restricted," She asked moving closer to her, "Someone out in the foyer let me in, I'm Lizette Marlow, Rebecca's girlfriend," She answered proudly kissing her cheek.

Marlene crossed her arms and began to tap her sleeve, "If you don't mind I'm sure you can join the Lahnstein family in the waiting room," Lizette lowered her head, "They don't exactly like me," She uttered, Marlene thought to herself, "I can see why," She lightly laughed, "Waiting room, I'll let you know when they've moved her to a room," Lizette relented leaving the room with a frown, "Rebecca," She whispered again, "Hmmm," She moaned, Marlene left her and headed to her husband's office, "I've decided to take Rebecca's case," She announced calmly he looked at her, "Good," He walked from behind the desk and grasped her by the waist his lips meeting hers in a kiss of passion, "Tonight your all mine," He pulled her face up closer with his hand, "I love you," She gazed into his eyes and giggled, "I want you so much," He started to talk, "I'm so proud of you, your take charge attitude, your kindness," She traced his lips with her finger, "Isn't that why you married me?" She mildly argued a knock came to the door, "Ms. Von Lahnstein has been moved to her room," The nurse let him know, "Thank you," He looked back to Marlene, "Let me make sure she settled and I'll meet you at home," He left her in the dimly lit confines of his office she walked over to the window and looked out she bowed her head thinking of Rebecca her eagerness to know what had happened to her she suddenly perked up thumbing through the charts on his desk and finding Rebecca's she flipped it open and found Elisabeth's number she called her and made arrangements to meet with her.

"Would you like lemon in your tea?" Elisabeth asked Marlene, they set in the great room, "I know you must be surprised to see me," Elisabeth sat her cup back on the saucer, "I was pleasantly surprised, yes," She mused, "You should talk to Tristan," She murmured, "Tristan," She looked around, "Is he here?" She further questioned her, "He's been Rebecca's confidant throughout this whole ordeal and by her side, I think he feels guilty about what happened his interference in her relationship with Lizette," Marlene grunted, "Yes we've met," She chuckled causing Elisabeth to roll her eyes, "We try, its difficult, Lizette is very spoiled and pushy," She took another sip of her tea, "I've decided to take on Rebecca's physical therapy case as my husband thinks she would do much better with someone she knows," She interjected, "Your husband seems like a wonderful man and Rebecca is lucky that hopefully he's been able to help," She added, "But I'm hoping your past with Rebecca doesn't get in the way," Marlene took in a deep breath, "Rebecca and I," She began suddenly stopping, "What we had I'll never forget she taught me so much about not being afraid to love someone and I will always be grateful," She managed to get the words out, "Does your husband know?" Elisabeth cut to the chase, Marlene, with some hesitation answered her, "He does not, he knows about Hagen but no I've never told him about Rebecca," Elisabeth felt her heart skip a beat, "Marlene," She started to say as Tristan walked in interrupting them he gave her a look, " I was just telling Marlene you could fill her in about Rebecca," He cleared his throat, "It's a nice day care to walk the grounds?" He asked she accepted.

They began walking making their way to the old stonewall that lined the pond they sat facing each other, "How have you been?" Tristan asked loosing his necktie and removing a cigarette from his shirt pocket, "I'm doing well," He grinned, "A new career I see," She lowered her head and then looked back up at him, "I'm happy, I've met a great guy," Tristan quickly cut in, "You've married," He finished her sentence she nodded in affirmation, "Tell me about Rebecca," Her expression sullen he shook his head, "When you left Rebecca was lost and then she met Tim someone she seemed to get along well with he worked as a photographer at LCL and they became close he asked her to marry him but she turned him down only to discover he was only after what he could get from the Lahnstein's," He lit another cigarette and nervously continued, "She drifted for awhile dating and not showing any interest in anyone until about three years ago when she met Lizette," He rolled his eyes not wanting to speak her name, "Its clear your family doesn't like Lizette," Marlene chimed in, "Rebecca fell in love with her immediately, she did a fashion shoot for LCL on a whim and they hit it off we were all happy for Rebecca at first but," He became mum a tear fell from his eye, "I felt a strangeness about her, I don't know maybe it was her wealthy upbringing, she's the daughter of Robert Marlow, owner of the Marlow modeling agency, Paris," He gritted his teeth as he continued, "She's spoiled and arrogant, pushy and rude," He voiced loudly. "But apparently she loves her Tristan," Marlene kindly argued, "Something happened, she called me and left a voice mail the day of her accident," Marlene paid closer attention, "Go on," She prodded him.

"Rebecca went to meet Lizette and talk to her when she did an argument happened, things became heated and Rebecca left on her bike in a hurry an over the road trucker ran through the stop light and hit her throwing her off she was in critical condition for days," He laid his face in the palms of his hands, Marlene touched his forearm, "Its ok you don't have to say anymore if its uncomfortable for you," She offered with sincerity, He gazed at her, "She was unconscious for ten days, her leg mangled, her ribs broken, lots of contusions and a nasty gash on the side of her right eye fortunately she was wearing her helmet it saved her life," He sobbed loudly, "I can't tell you how nearly losing her affected me," Marlene placed her hand to her forehead in shock she felt the pain he did as her heart sunk to her feet.


	5. Chapter 5

**CHAPTER V.**

 **Close encounters**

Marlene took in everything Tristan had said, "I don't understand, how did you know there was an argument, Lizette?" She became curious. "No," He grumbled loudly, "I got a copy of the report from the Police who investigated the accident, apparently they were at a street side café downtown, the waiter and a couple of other witnesses gave statements as to what happened," He stood up and began to pace, "Did you confront Lizette?" She further probed, "Shit," He uttered angrily, "I did confront her but she told me it had nothing to do with their relationship, I know she held her breath in worry because Rebecca was out of it and unable to talk, hell there was no way to know if she would even make it," He explained brushing the sweat from his brow, "Obviously Rebecca didn't remember," Marlene decided looking at him with uncertainty, He sighed, "Unfortunately she didn't remember that day at all, she's had cobwebs in her head ever since and it took a long time for the headaches to subside, I just feel Lizette is somehow to blame and sooner or later I'll know the reason Rebecca called and left that voicemail," Marlene thought momentarily, "Do you still have it on your phone?" She questioned in assertion, "I do," He pulled it from his pocket and retrieved it, they listened, "Hey, Tristan wanted you to know I've decided to make a change in my life, its time to face the demons that plague me, I'll let you know, love you, bye," The message said, Marlene was taken aback by the eerie sound of Rebecca's voice.

"What do you think it means?" She asked him now that he appeared more calm, "I think she had enough of Lizette's shit, I told you there was something about her I didn't like, I think she was cheating on Rebecca and she found out and that's where the real confrontation began," Marlene swallowed hard thinking back to when she was faced with the same issues. "Lizette is a spoiled slut, I've inquired about her and her past lewd affairs, I never told Rebecca, she would have became angry with me, distraught," Marlene cut in, "But you did check her out and didn't tell Rebecca, you are perceptive Tristan, I'll give you that but if you knew this woman had a past that could affect Rebecca," He raised his hand as if to quiet her, "I know and I thought about it but I used it against Lizette instead," Marlene crossed her arms her face became red, "You blackmailed her with it?" Her voice heightened, Tristan looked down to the ground, "I did," He held his breath, "I just didn't want Rebecca to suffer through another agonizing situation, Lizette is only out for herself, she's money and power hungry and what better way to get it then from someone who's heart has been broken, Rebecca's life was not only shattered after you but after Tim as well," He recalled, "Rebecca hurt me Tristan but then I realized it was over between us that the affairs we both encountered was because we weren't happy and things had gotten complacent." She voiced, "You loved her deeply once," He taunted her in a soft tone, "I did love her and I always will," She answered firmly, "Life goes on Tristan," She continued. "Rebecca needs stability Marlene," His tongue now sharpened by what she had said.

Marlene stared at him blankly, "All I'm asking is that you help her, she needs you and obviously your husband feels that's what's best for her, tell me does he know about your relationship with Rebecca?" Her heart pounded at his questioning, "No only Hagen," She resounded under her breath, "Oh," He chuckled but was not surprised, "I love my husband Tristan and when I left here and made a new life for myself it was with the intentions of never returning to Germany, I made new friends and started a career I have a passion for, I worked very hard to get where I'm at today and I met Mark along the way he's incredible and kind not to mention talented," She noted with a smile, "But you lied to him Marlene," She took in a deep breath, "I didn't think he could handle it," She honestly answered, "I never thought I'd see the day I would be placed in such a situation as this, but fate has a way of intervention doesn't it?" She remarked in a supple question, Tristan groaned, "Lizette is the least of my worries getting Rebecca back to her old self is what's most important, wouldn't you agree?" He became abrupt, "I have told my husband I would help her, I don't need suspicion surrounding me and in good time I will tell him the truth but," Tristan quickly cut her off, "He won't hear it from me, I promise you that but in return," He started to talk in a controlling manner, "Stop," She raised her hand, "I'll do my best to get her on track but her personal life is what it is and if she wishes to share with me her feelings or memories about Lizette," She furrowed her brow without another word, "I should get to the hospital, Rebecca needs checking," Tristan straightened his necktie and walked away.

Marlene gazed at Rebecca through the small glass pane of the door to her room she seemed enthralled twisting her hand in Lizette's they giggled kissing, "Is everything alright?" Mark questioned walking up behind her she felt the hair raise up on the nape of her neck she cleared her throat, "Uh yes, I was about to go in and talk with her," Mark looked through the door window, "That must be her girlfriend," Marlene felt uncomfortable, anxiety began to creep in, "Funny, she mentioned something about dancing with her girlfriend again," He crossed his arms she lowered her head not looking up at him, "Did you know she was gay?" His question unassuming, "Yes, I did," She managed to get the words out, "Are you uncomfortable with her situation?" He further probed, Marlene felt the pit of her stomach churn, "What gave you that idea?" She asked as she continued to stare through the window. "Because you were reluctant at first," She squinted her eyes her heart now in her throat, "I think we should," She was suddenly interrupted by the beeping of his pager, "I've got to go my patient for surgery is nearly prepped," He bent down and kissed her cheek, "See you later," He turned away and then turned back, "I love you," She smiled giving him a slight wave of the hand. Marlene collected herself and lightly rapped on the door, Lizette opened it, "Yes," She answered giving her a quirky look, "I'm Marlene, we met yesterday," She started the conversation, "Oh the physical therapist," She became solemn.

Lizette opened the door wider allowing Marlene to step in, "Rebecca," She nodded and then turned her attention to Lizette, "I need to talk with Rebecca about a schedule," She commented crossing her hands behind her back, "Lizette could you please excuse us," Rebecca spoke with a grin, "I think I'll go back to the castle and rest," She reached over and kissed her Marlene stood back until she left closing the door behind her, "She seems nice," Marlene began, "She's spoiled," Rebecca laughed, "How are you Marlene?" Rebecca became serious their eyes locked onto one another, there was silence, "I'm fine," Rebecca wriggled in an attempt to get comfortable, "You look happy, your husband is charming and very encouraging," Her voice trembled slightly. "Thank you," Marlene could hardly find the words to say to her, "It's been a long time, I'm sorry for your accident," She bit her lip as she replied. "I wanted to talk with you about a schedule starting tomorrow, I would like to get you up and walking a little," Rebecca agreed but somehow seemed reluctant to Marlene, "I'm still experiencing a great deal of pain," She touched her leg with her hand looking down on it, "It will hurt for a while, I'm sure you remember from your other surgeries but the sooner we can get you on your feet the quicker you can recover at home," She remarked keeping it business like, Rebecca stared causing Marlene to feel edgy, "Marlene, your husband," She quickly interjected, "What about him?" She asked, "He doesn't know does he?" Marlene could see the sadness in her face those brown eyes that intrigued her, pensive. "Rebecca," She gasped, "Marlene just be truthful," She became encouraging in a quiet tone, "No he doesn't," Rebecca lowered her head she felt, a, tightness in her chest. "Believe me I wanted to but," She stuttered, "I never thought you would find our relationship insignificant," Rebecca implored, "I have to admit, I thought I would never see you again, it was never my intention to return here," She became stern.

"But you did and you have a whole new life, I can't say that I'm not sad that you didn't tell him but eventually you will have to, I know what it was like for you in the past to admit that you had fallen in love with a woman," Marlene could feel the turmoil racing through her, "Now's not the time Rebecca, we have to focus on you getting well, yes Mark is encouraging and dedicated to his patients he knows how I work and he expects a lot from me and much like him I'm dedicated too but I won't hurt him with this, he's depending on me you understand don't you?" She began to rush her words looking back at the door. Rebecca sighed crossing her arms, "Its not up to me to tell him you must on your on time," Marlene turned the table, "Does Lizette know?" Rebecca swallowed hard, "Yes in a way, I told her I've had other girlfriends she just hasn't realized it was you," Marlene breathed in a sigh of relief, "Please I beg of you not to tell her, not yet please," Rebecca groaned, "I can't promise you that, she's not stupid Marlene and it won't take her long to figure it out and I won't lie," Marlene bowed her head, "Our relationship was not insignificant, I want you to know that, no matter what it was real and I loved you once," Rebecca felt elated, "And I loved you but my life has changed and I've met the person I was supposed to live my life with, I won't let what we had interfere with my rehabilitation, more than anything I want to get back on my feet, return to work be whole again," Her eyes watered as she spoke. "And I will do my best to make sure you do," She was supportive, "I'll let you rest now, I'll be back at eight in the morning," Her smile reassuring, "Good day," She quietly left her, Rebecca lay her head back and closed her eyes thinking of her conversation with Marlene.

Mark awaited for Marlene to return home when he heard the key turn in the door lock he rushed to the door surprising her with a kiss, "I cooked," He remarked she sat her purse down on the table, "Hmmm steak, do you have a romantic evening planned for us?" She asked with a twinkle in her eye, "Wouldn't you like to know," He teased in a sexual tone, "I think I'll shower," She waited a word from him, "Why don't I place it in the oven and join you," She grabbed his hand and he followed her they kissed stripping each other Mark softly grasped and kissed her breasts his hands finding their way to the back of her head his lips and tongue engulfing her neck, "I want you," The heat of the shower caused him to rub against her they made their way to the bed for an evening of passionate love making. "I love you Marlene," Mark spoke breathing into her ear she kissed him and then she rolled on her side, "Hey," He poked at her with his index finger, "We should talk," Marlene sensed something was up, she turned her head towards him, "What is it?" He reached over kissing her again, "I really want to have a baby Marlene, have you taken time to think about it lately?" She felt strange, "Mark, I thought with the move here, your work, my work we should wait awhile," He put his hands behind his head and stared at the ceiling, "I was just concerned about our age, now would be the time our child could be born here, I thought that would be important to you," Her heart pounded wildly, "I want to have a child with you but right now my career is at its height and I'm learning so much, to have a child right now," Mark silenced her, "Listen to your heart, we could be good parents," She wiped a tear from the corner of her eye, "Mark please," She muttered under her breath. He rolled her over and mounted her again, "Please Marlene," She kissed him deeply her teeth grasping his bottom lip, "If its what you want, we can talk about it later." She gave in to him, his charms, his wants and needs.

"Good morning," Marlene rolled the wheelchair into Rebecca's room, Mark followed behind her, "How are you feeling?" He questioned pulling back the cover from her leg and examining it she looked at Marlene, "I'm fine," She stated never taking her eyes from hers, They helped her up, first one foot then the other, she set up on the side of the bed, "I'll help her from here Mark," She remarked shooing him out, "My warm up suit is in the closet," She added, Marlene retrieved it, first helping her slip on the pants, "I think I can put on my top if you'll excuse me," Marlene walked to the door and kept her head turned, "Ok, I'm ready," She slid down into the wheelchair and Marlene pushed her over to the workout room remaining quiet and not talking very much, "Marlene, are you ok? You seem preoccupied," Rebecca quizzed, "Uh, I'm fine just a lot on my mind," Rebecca peered back at her, "How long will I have to do therapy?" She further inquired, "About six to eight weeks and depending on how well you grasp the situation and how your mobility is," She answered in a professional tone, "Karl, my last therapist was terrible," She snickered, "I'm sorry sometimes therapy is difficult and especially if someone is uncooperative," She smirked nudging Rebecca's shoulder they both giggled. Rebecca lowered her shoulders, "I was in a lot of pain the surgery wasn't as successful as Dr. Kessler thought it might be, I had really bad headaches and that didn't help with my mood swings either," She explained giving Marlene a better idea of what Rebecca had gone through. Marlene maneuvered the wheel chair to the opening between two bars, "I want you to reach up and grab both bars at the same time and pull yourself up," She ordered doing her job with keen precision, Rebecca followed her direction and stood straight up adding pressure to her leg, "Easy, move your right leg forward first and balance squarely on your foot," She followed her command and walked the grueling first few steps.

Marlene walked around to the other side coaxing Rebecca to move towards her the pain in her leg more intense, she made it to the end, "Good Rebecca, very good," Her voice was like that of a coach pushing her onward to do her best, "Time for a break," She left her standing and fetched a bottle of water she rolled the wheelchair to her allowing her to sit back down, "Wow," Her breath a little short, "You did good," Rebecca drank the water she moved the wheelchair away from the bars and over to the seating area, "What next?" Rebecca seemed eager, "I'll have you roll that big ball around under your foot but first you need to rest those muscles, that's a lot to ask someone to do on the first day," Rebecca sighed momentarily closing her eyes, "Tell me why you changed your career," Marlene cleared her throat, "When I moved to New Haven and began theater work, I met my best friend, Grace Brandon, she did some part time acting and she was in school for physical therapy she attended a yoga class I was teaching on the side and thought I would be perfect as a therapist, I enrolled in college and worked nights at the theater, it was long and hard," She chuckled remembering those days of late nights and canned soup. "I see," Rebecca interjected, "I dove into my schooling and was accepted to therapy school, I met Mark there, he did some instructing and we started to date he was very inspiring," She stared up at the ceiling, "It seems the change has matured you even more," Rebecca noted finishing her water, "Are you still designing?" She asked, "Not much these days, I have some very young and talented fashion moguls," She laughed, "They've given LCL a whole new name and we are enjoying the best success we have in years," She voiced with pride, "Tanja," Rebecca eyed her, "Emma is dancing in the Munich ballet so she and Sebastian are living there most of the time, Sebastian is here frequently because he still handles the legal aspects for Lahnstein enterprises and Tanja retired giving up LCL to me, its been mine for several years now," Marlene smiled thinking back to the struggles Rebecca faced while trying to make a name for herself.

"It seems we are both enjoying success," Marlene resonated calmly, "Will you have children?" Rebecca asked catching Marlene off guard she looked strangely at her, "Actually Mark really wants to have a child but I'm not ready, we both have careers to think about," She smiled answering her, Rebecca's heart skipped a beat, "But enough about me, are you ready to try that ball out?" She asked changing the subject, "If you think I'm ready," They worked awhile longer until Rebecca became exhausted, Marlene wheeled her back to her room and helped her into bed, "There, do you need anything?" She asked pulling the covers back up to her midsection, "No, I'm tired and would like to rest," She replied, "I think you should, its been a long morning, I'll check on you a little later, I still have two other patients this afternoon and I'll stop by before I leave," She turned to walk out of the room her hand grasped the door, "Marlene," Rebecca called out, she turned back to her, "Thank you," She whispered closing her eyes.


	6. Chapter VI

**CHAPTER VI.**

 **A matter of the heart**

Mark quietly studied Rebecca's chart, "I'm thinking of sending Rebecca home in a day or two, the swelling in her leg will go down, I'll prescribe an anti inflammatory and an antibiotic, you'll need to decide about how many days a week you'll want to do therapy," He closed her chart and looked at Marlene, "Ok but getting her here might be a problem," She added thinking, "The castle has a workout room, I'm wondering if Rebecca would want to arrange something there," She leaned forward kissing him on the lips and placing her arms around his neck, "Talk to her," He smiled, "I don't have a problem with it as long as she and her family agree and you have time for your other patients," Marlene twitched her lip, "Now that's what I love about you, always dedicated," She pulled away and headed for the door, "I'll go share the news with her," He shook his head with a grin and thought of how lucky he was his cell phone rang startling him, "David," He was elated to hear from him, "Düsseldorf soon?" He questioned, "Marlene will be so glad that you and Grace are coming for a visit, two weeks then?" Mark further clarified their plans.

Marlene walked quickly down the hall to Rebecca's room stopping and staring at her through the glass window her smile turning to a frown when she saw Lizette doting over her. Marlene knocked and entered they both raised their eyes to her, "Hey, Marlene," Rebecca responded, Lizette stared at her, "Good morning," She spoke nodding at Lizette, "Good morning are you here to take control of my girlfriend again?" Her words were cutting in a kind way, "Lizette that was rude," She grinned as Rebecca scolded her, "I'm just teasing, really, lighten up!" She exclaimed and then kissed her forehead, "Lizette was just leaving," Rebecca nudged her with a push of her hand, "Yes, I have a shoot at LCL this morning and I'll see you after lunch," She collected her purse from the chair gazing into Marlene's eyes as she waltz passed her, "I'm sorry," Rebecca waited to hear the closing of the door, "It's ok," Marlene spoke and then held her breath, "You seem different this morning," She began again Marlene walked closer to the bed, "I've been talking with Mark and he's thinking of sending you home in a day or two," Rebecca moaned in excitement, "Really, that's good news," Her smile turned to a more serious expression, "But what about my therapy we just started?" She questioned in angst. "I told him that there was a workout room in the castle and if it was ok with you and your family, I could come and do all of your therapy there," She mentioned in an eager tone, "Now that would be a good idea," Rebecca answered feeling some reconnection to Marlene. "Why don't you talk to your family and see what they think," She turned for the door, "I don't think they'll have problem they really just want me home," She commented, Marlene grinned, "I'll see you tomorrow," She replied.

Lizette entered the room with a bouquet of flowers, "For you," She handed them to her, "Hmmm, I wish we weren't in this hospital it's so cold and white," She ran her finger across the table, Rebecca groaned laying the flowers down, "I might be able to go home tomorrow or the next day," Lizette clapped her hands together, "Did Dr. Blair tell you earlier?" Rebecca looked strangely at her, "No Marlene," She answered, Lizette rolled her lower lip out, "This Marlene, she seems pushy, almost like she has an interest in you or something," She remarked staring Rebecca in the eyes, "What do you mean?" She sensed some jealousy from her, "It seems that when I'm in your company she wants to have the upper hand and control the conversation," She muttered, "Nonsense, she's just doing her job that's all," Rebecca relayed swallowing hard. "I know I don't need to worry but I do," She quickly replied her cell phone began to ring she looked at it, "I need to take this," She hurriedly walked into the hallway and looked around, "I've asked you not to call me," She grumbled continuing, "Let me call you later I'm with Rebecca and I can't talk," She hastily hung up regaining her composure and re-entered the room. "Who was that?" Rebecca questioned, Lizette giggled, "Just someone about a modeling gig," She answered untruthfully. "We should talk," Rebecca became serious, "Ok," She sat down on the edge of the bed, "I know that you like traveling and well, I'm more confined to home these days," She hesitated briefly extending her hand out to the side of Lizette's face, "But I love you and I want you to be close a lot more," She grinned with excitement.

"Rebecca," Lizette stood up, "I love you too and yes I know we've discussed commitment and we are, committed," She began to pace, "I love what I do, seeing the sights, visiting different countries and I'm just not keen on being a home body right now," She answered rationally. "I see," Rebecca became sullen, "Rebecca, I love you, please don't be sad or angry, what we have is so special how it is and I'm the luckiest person to have you as mine," She versed calmly her hand caressing her face, "I'm not sad or angry, I'm just getting at an age where I want a real commitment someone I can settle down with, I chose you," She pleaded her case. Lizette sighed with a smile, "We have a whole future ahead of us, lets get you well and back on your feet and we can talk about this at a later time," She bent forward and kissed her. "I'll let you rest and I'll see you tomorrow, I have an appointment and I'm going to run by LCL and see if the photo shoot pictures are ready," She gathered her purse, Rebecca stared remaining quiet. Rebecca closed her eyes and tried to remember what had happened between them shortly before her accident she squinted her eyes rubbing her temples with the tips of her fingers, "Why can't I remember," She spoke loudly grimacing. Marlene lightly knocked, "May I come in?" Rebecca snapped out of her daze, "Hey, yes, please come in," She pulled herself up and adjusted the covers, "I want to do a little more work with the ball tomorrow morning," She rehearsed sticking her hands into the pockets of her lab coat.

"Sure, I spoke with Elisabeth earlier and she's elated that I could come home and do my therapy there so that's been cleared the rest is up to you," She shared the news with her, "Great, has Mark been in?" She asked, "No just the nurses and Lizette," Rebecca's voice turned sad, "Hey, are you alright?" Marlene moved closer to the side of the bed. "I wish Lizette was a little more ready to settled down, we've talked," Marlene smiled, "Rebecca you were never the settling kind, your devoted to anyone you love that much I know but you're a workaholic and your devotion lies with your family and the business," Rebecca took in her heartfelt words, "But over the years I've changed, the accident changed me greatly and I guess the blow I took made me realize that I have to give more of myself to the one I love and less to my family and the business," Marlene listened with an open mind, "I only wish that," She stopped talking, "You wish I had listened to my heart instead of my head where you and I were concerned," She remarked candidly, "Yes, but it wasn't meant to be, things happen for a reason Rebecca," She voiced with sincerity, "I learned so much from our relationship, you, I learned that if I loved someone enough and showed them then they would love me back, it was a confidence builder and I will always be indebted to you," Marlene could feel the pit of her stomach knot, indebted she thought, to her their love affair and relationship was torrid and vivacious to say the least, "Rebecca," The sudden opening of the door startled them both, Marlene became mum and froze at the sound of Mark's voice, "Oh, hey," She spoke and hugged him around the neck. "Good afternoon ladies and how are you Rebecca?" He pulled back the covers from her leg and peered at the dressing on the incision, "They changed it this morning," Rebecca offered.

Mark continued to studied it and pulled it back giving him full view of the incision and sutures, "I think your doing good, no redness and that swelling should go down in a few days, I'll be sending you home with an anti inflammatory and an antibiotic he then checked the lactated ringer that slowly dripped medication into her, "One more day of this and I'll be stopping it, let me see you draw your leg up," Rebecca with much angst pulled it up slowly there was still pain and she moaned lowly, "I plan to work her foot on the ball tomorrow we will do some rotation, exercising her lower leg a bit more, I'll do an intense massage of her calf muscle also," She added standing next to him peering over her, "Yes that sounds like a good idea, rest today, I wanted to send you home tomorrow but I'm thinking Friday," Rebecca sunk her shoulders, "I was hoping for tomorrow after therapy," She seemed childlike to Marlene, Mark grinned, "I can understand how you feel but in my opinion a couple of more days won't hurt, I don't want any setbacks, Marlene will do therapy tomorrow and again on Friday morning, Thursday maybe some stretching exercises, something not so intense and then we will see," He ordered placing his stethoscope to her chest and asking her to take deep breaths, "I'll leave you ladies to talk," He replied cutting Marlene a stare, "I'll check in on you tomorrow," He quietly left leaving Marlene to ponder Rebecca's situation. "You're very lucky," Rebecca spoke breaking the quietness of the room, "I am," She grinned, "When you met him did you know he was the right one for you?" She further asked, Marlene felt as though she were in a daze, "Well not at first but he was such a great help someone who was inspiring and he did have an interest in me," She confirmed, "I met Lizette by accident, I needed a model someone had seen her work, I called, she came to LCL and I fell in love right away," Her tone jovial, "I never thought, I would love anyone again," Marlene listened closely.

Marlene lowered her head, "Was there anyone else?" She quizzed, "There was, Tim, I met him shortly after you left, I thought I could love him, I did care from him but he was not forthcoming about his life among other things, he wanted to marry me," She laughed running her fingers through her hair, "I even thought I might be pregnant but it wasn't meant to be, it, would have never worked he was jealous of every woman I came in to contact with," She reminisced. "Well maybe with Lizette you'll find the happiness you deserve, I need to go, I'll see you in the morning," Marlene stared at her briefly, "Yes I'm tired," She replied. Marlene leaned against the wall she touched the back of her hand to her brow the long lost feelings she had for Rebecca began to resurface she looked at her through the door glass the beautiful shape of her face her eyes traced the curve of her lips the striking dimple that adorned her chin her elegant neckline showed off her finely cut hair. Marlene thought, Rebecca hadn't changed much that age had made her even more attractive then when she remember her from before a smile crossed her face a memory tracing back to the times they made love. Marlene's text chimed she fetched her cell phone from the pocket of her lab coat, "Need to see you," It read from Mark she hurried to his office pausing a moment in reflection of what she was feeling she needed to gain composure her heart raced with anxiety she took in a deep breath straightening her hair before she entered. "You wanted to see me?" He was sitting at his desk mulling over the numerous charts that sat there in need of his attention, "Yes," She walked over and took a seat in front of him. "I have some good news," Marlene seemed more relaxed as he spoke his handsome face showed his impish smile. "What's up?" She asked firmly, "I spoke to David this morning," He began the sound of his name brought a wide grin to her face.

Mark stood up and walked over to her he placed his hands on her shoulders and began to rub the tops of them, "They will be here in two weeks," Marlene felt the pressure in her chest drop she now had something else to focus on besides Rebecca, "Oh my god that's wonderful news!" She exclaimed loudly, "I knew you would be happy, David has asked me to attend the seminar in Zurich next month and as much as I would love to take you there it won't be much time for sightseeing or fun," He assured her in his kind tone, Marlene listened to what he had said, "Grace?" She further inquired, "Grace will stay here with you this will be great extra training for her she can help you with the patient load and you two can collaborate on other things," He laughed bending over and kissing her cheek, "I should call her its been awhile since we've really had the chance to talk," She remarked, "True, share all of the gossip from New Haven general," He teased her, "I have one other patient this evening and then I'll be home," He told her closing the last chart he had been studying," Marlene shed her lab coat, "The Von Lahnstein's have approved me coming to the castle for Rebecca's therapy," She stated he looked back up at her, "Good, Grace will be a big help with her and it will give her the chance to learn German culture," Marlene's mind raced back to Rebecca she would have to control herself around Rebecca, Grace was a very perceptive individual, "Yes it will be good for Grace," She murmured, "I've spoken to Dr. Kessler and he welcomes the additional therapy, so its been arranged," He mentioned walking her out the door, "I'll see you later," He walked away from her she stood motionless watching him round the corner.

Marlene entered Rebecca's room, "Good morning I trust you slept well," She asked, Rebecca was busily applying a little makeup to her face, "Yes and I'm ready for therapy, actually I'm ready to go home," She winced, "All in good time," Marlene replied, "I want to try some stretching exercises this morning, do you want to try to walk or the wheelchair?" Rebecca quickly put her makeup bag down, "As you can see I've dressed myself," Marlene looked down to the warm up suit she had on, "Good, good so I'm guessing you are wanting to walk?" She extended her hand out, "Only if you'll aid me," She uttered. They slowly made their way down the hall and into the workout room. Marlene helped her to sit down and then rolled out an extra large yoga mat, "I want you to stand in the middle of the mat," She motioned to Rebecca, Rebecca gingerly raised herself from the chair and made her way to the mat and doing as Marlene instructed, "Do you feel comfortable?" Rebecca grimaced a little, "I'm fine," Marlene stood behind her, "Relax, I want you to lift both arms in the air and hold them there," She followed her cue as Marlene walked in front of her moving closely their eyes meeting in a cautious stare, Marlene's lips began to tremble as her eyes shifted to Rebecca's lips the door suddenly opened and Mark entered, "Hey, how's it going?" Marlene quickly pulled away clearing her throat Rebecca lowered her arms, "We are just getting started," Marlene laughed nervously. Rebecca turned her head not looking at him, "Rebecca is everything alright? You look as though you've seen a ghost," He seriously spoke moving towards and feeling her forehead, "I'm fine really, I think I held my arms up a little too long," She answered and looked to Marlene, "Well you don't feel like you have a fever," He stepped back, "Not too much today, Marlene may I see you outside," She followed him out.

Rebecca lowered her face into her hands she felt strange and unguarded, "Rebecca seems zoned out," Mark looked directly at Marlene as he attempted to fish an answer from her, "What do you mean?" She crossed her arms, "Your not pushing her too hard are you?" Marlene became miffed at his accusation, "What I'm trying to say is, I know how dedicated you are to your work and how hard you strive to help people, some times a little too much, take it easy you have all the time you need and she'll come along," He touched her cheek with his hand giving her a wink. "Excuse me," She left him standing in the hall and returned to Rebecca. " Marlene," Rebecca gazed at her, "I'm sorry Rebecca, I just wasn't thinking, I never meant to," Rebecca stopped her, "Shh," Her tone soothing, "Shall we finish?" She asked raising her arms again.


	7. Chapter 7A

**CHAPTER 7A**

 **Sticks & Stones**

"Are we about ready?" Tristan questioned an excited Rebecca, "I am," She slid down into the wheelchair Marlene rounded the corner as they came out of the room. "Marlene," Tristan winced, "I think we're ready," Rebecca looked up to her, "Good then, I'll see you in the morning about nine, I just came to check and see if you needed anything before you leave," She asked glad that Rebecca was going home but knew she would miss seeing her on a daily basis. "Marlene, may I speak with you for a moment?" Tristan asked the nurse took the wheelchair and began to roll her down the hall. "Yes Tristan," Marlene began, "Thank you for taking her case and offering to work with her at home," He spoke in a realistic tone. "I'm glad to do it but I won't pump her for information about Lizette, I should stay out of it she seems happy Tristan," She gave him the eye he stared back at her, "I understand, can we talk later?" He looked at his watch, "I have a flight to Zurich this evening," He started walking down the hall with her following him out to the foyer, "Rebecca rest when you get home and I'll see you tomorrow," She watched them drive away, "Did she leave?" Mark asked placing his chin atop her shoulder. "She did," They walked back to his office.

Rebecca readied herself as Elisabeth delivered a tray of coffee to the orangery. "My were up early, what time do you expect Marlene?" She asked pouring a cup of coffee and sitting to the table, "About nine," She sat across from Elisabeth. "Good then we have time to visit, is working with Marlene a problem for you?" She mentioned, "Not at all, she's very devoted to her work and eager to help me get well," She sipped her coffee, "No buried feelings?" She further asked, Rebecca sat her cup down, "I can say Marlene is happily married and my life has moved on with Lizette," Elisabeth had a puzzling look. "It must be difficult to look someone in the face you were once in love with," Rebecca furrowed her brow, "What we had was very special, I considered her my greatest love but we couldn't make it work," She smiled her thoughts tracing back to a time before her heart was broken. "Marlene chose to leave and there wasn't much I could do to stop her and I had to live with those decisions," Elisabeth nodded, "Well I hope you two can make amends and that she can get you through the toughest times," She spoke not sure of what Rebecca was truly feeling. "That's all I'm asking," She stood up balancing herself firmly on both legs, "I'd say you've already improved," She smiled picking up the tray and exiting the orangery. Rebecca watched as she closed the door she sat back down she lowered her face into her hands and thought about the closeness she and Marlene shared the day before. "God," She groaned thinking of how close their lips came to one another.

Marlene rapped on the door Rebecca quickly opened it she stood there casually dressed, "Come in," She opened the door widely. "Would you prefer to work here or in the workout room?" She candidly asked, "Here if you don't mind," Marlene rolled out the yoga mat on the floor, "Lets try the mat here, stand in the middle, legs together arms up in the air," She obliged Marlene walked behind her grasping her wrist and pulling up on them in a stretch. "Hold it there," She ordered as she dropped her hands to Rebecca's waist, Rebecca could feel the electricity shoot through her like a bolt of lighting. Marlene's hand grasped her lower abdomen she asked her to breathe in deeply and to slowly release the air, "Again she voiced trying to keep her composure but the sweet smell of Rebecca's skin gave her pause. Rebecca could feel Marlene's hot breath on the back of her neck she shuddered lowering her arms and turning to face her, "Are you alright?" Marlene asked, "Marlene I can feel the tension in your body movements," She began, "I'm not sure close contact exercises are in our best interests," She bowed her head and then looked back up to her. "Its part of the therapy program Rebecca, if you wish to have another therapist then I can arrange it," She remarked, "No, no that's not what I meant," She sighed her facial expression solemn. "We have a history," Rebecca spoke, Marlene interjected, "And we've gotten past that, I'm married and your with the women you claim you were intended to spend your life with," She crossed her arms and stared. "Why don't we go down to the workout room and finish your exercise," She added, Rebecca remained quite.

Marlene finished with Rebecca's leg exercises, "That should do it for today, I need to go," She worded helping Rebecca up from the chair, Rebecca stopped her, "Marlene, about earlier," She started, "Really Rebecca, I think we just got off track, I'm here to help you and if you feel uncomfortable with my close presence then," They were both startled by the opening of the door. "There you are," Lizette walked over and put her arms around Rebecca's waist and kissed her. "I've missed you," She turned towards Marlene giving her a sharp look. "You were gone for just a day," Rebecca shook her head, Marlene swallowed hard. "If you will excuse me, I'll see you Monday morning," She voiced as she rolled up the yoga mat tucking it under her arm, "Oh Marlene, must you rush off? Certainly you could stay for tea and you and Rebecca could fill me in on how things are going," Marlene gave a half grin, "Maybe another time, I have work at the hospital and I'm sure my husband is waiting for me," She declined the offer leaving out the door. Lizette turned back to Rebecca, "Did something happen to anger her?" Rebecca grimaced, "Uh no everything is fine," She smiled trying to cover up the concern she had about the encounter with Marlene earlier. "Why don't we see what Mrs. Lentz made for lunch, I'm starved," Rebecca grabbed her by the arm, "Sure let me help you," She escorted her down to the kitchen.

Marlene walked the grounds of the hospital finding a bench and sitting on it she thought of her earlier encounter with Rebecca and her desires to kiss her. "What am I thinking," She voiced aloud in an angered tone, breathing in and exhaling with a sigh of discontent, "There you are," Mark called from a short distance he walked over and sat next to her. "Mark what are you doing out here?" She asked in surprise, "I'm sorry if I disturbed you but you seemed upset," He versed as he put his arm around her shoulder, "I'm not, I'm fine," She was quick to answer she wanted so desperately to tell Mark the truth about Rebecca but didn't have the nerve or the strength, "How was your session?" Marlene's stomach began to knot, "I think we're making progress, we worked on some stretching exercises and then we worked on her bending that leg," She replied calmly. "She does understand that there will be stiffness and pain at times?" He quizzed, "Yes she's aware but very determined to heal, I've noticed she has a high tolerance for pain," She noted and then thought to, herself, "Except for the pain of a broken heart," Mark smiled gently kissing her on the lips. Marlene closed her eyes and imagined those were the lips of Rebecca kissing her, "We should go home," He quipped playfully, "Hmmm," Marlene groaned tracing his face with the tip of her finger. "I love you," He spoke to his beautiful wife, Marlene began to speak when his text chimed, "My patient is about to leave recovery and I need to check on him, what do you have left today?" He asked as they walked hand in hand back to the hospital. "Mr. Jones," She giggled, "I'll be a later than normal getting home, I have charts to go over and sign," They parted ways.

Rebecca and Lizette finished lunch, "Mrs. Lentz always knows how to make the best salads," Lizette chimed as she and Rebecca walked back to the orangery. "Yes she's been with our family for years," Rebecca could feel the muscle in her leg tighten from the workout, "Seems you need some rest that was a lot for you this morning," She interjected seeing Rebecca limp. "Yes I knew I'd experience some stiffness, I would like to lay down if you don't mind." Lizette helped her to the bed covering her up with a throw, She kissed her cheek, "I think I'll walk the grounds for a bit, rest," She ordered closing the door and escaping out onto the grounds she turned on her cell phone and quickly dialed the man who had been calling her on a daily basis, "Francisco," She managed to get his name out looking around for a sign of anyone, "Finally you've returned my calls," The deep voice of a man chuckled on the other end. "I've asked you not to call me when I'm in Düsseldorf," She demanded, "Come on Lizette, Rebecca doesn't know and what she doesn't know won't hurt her, I miss you," He whispered sexually. "I'll see you in the Bahamas next month but right now you need to leave me be, Rebecca needs me right now," She implore loudly, "And she has you but when we see each other we need to talk," He remarked harshly she hung up from him she began to pace her mind reeling she needed to calm down before returning to Rebecca.

"Your quite tonight," Mark nudged Marlene causing her to turn over and face him she put her hands on his bare chest, "I love you so much Marlene," He became sentimental, "I love you too," She instantly replied, they kissed. "I love making love to you," He spoke again she rolled back over and snuggled down to the pillow she lay her head on he grasped her gently around the waist, "Are you awake?" A tear fell from her eye her mind was on Rebecca she cleared her throat and sniffed. "I'm awake," She spoke in a hoarse voice, "Marlene what's wrong? You haven't been yourself for the last few days," He mentioned with concern, "I'm just tired, lots going on and I'll be glad when Grace gets here," She felt sorrowful for using her as an excuse to ward off any suspicions about Rebecca. "She'll be here next week and you'll have her for a whole month," He sighed continuing, "I hate that neither of you can attend the seminar, I hear Zurich is beautiful this time of year," He spoke as he caressed her side. "I understand that you both have meetings and seminars to attend, besides I have so much to show Grace around here and it will give us time to catch up," She relaxed, Mark began to kiss the side of her neck teasing her with the tip of his tongue he rolled her over, "I want you all over again," He smiled she threw her arms around his neck and kissed him they made love again her mind reassured she had taken her birth control pill earlier in the day.

Marlene dressed for an early morning meeting with Rebecca she made her way to the castle and to the workout room she patiently waited for Rebecca but sensed something wasn't right. Marlene paced and watched the time slowly ticking away she secured her things and headed to the orangery lightly knocking on the door but there was silence she slightly turned the knob and cracked open the door she called out Rebecca's name, there was no response, "Rebecca," She called out again and then realized she must still be in the dinning room she turned to leave when Rebecca slowly bounded from the bedroom. "I'm sorry Marlene, I overslept, let me get dressed, I know your time is busy," She was apologetic Marlene stood in the doorway and waited. "Good morning," Lizette spoke she looked up to see her cladded in only a bed sheet. "So you know your way to the orangery, strange," Marlene's throat knotted she couldn't speak at first, "I do, we met here earlier in the week or did you forget?" She asked sternly, "I'm sorry I kept Rebecca up late last night," She giggled changing the subject, Rebecca walked out of the bathroom sensing the tension between the two of them. "What's going on?" She asked with surprise, "Nothing," Marlene interjected quickly, "Lizette was just trying to make conversation," She looked at her as Lizette excused herself, I'm sorry," Rebecca made her way towards Marlene, "There's no need to be sorry obviously your girlfriend is uncomfortable with me and my position with you," She answered in a light chuckle.

Lizette came out of the bathroom fully dressed she slung her purse over her shoulder, "I'll leave you two, I have some errands to run and I'll see you later," She kissed Rebecca's cheek on the way out leaving them alone. "Workout room?" Marlene motioned to the door, "Here, I think I'd like to try some more of those stretching exercises like we started the other day, that is if its ok with you?" She kindly spoke. "You mean here?" She raised her finger in a point resounding, "Yes," Rebecca grinned Marlene rolled the mat out they began the exercise, "Relax stretch your arms up," She did as Marlene walked behind her the heat exchange noticeable between them. "I'm going to grasp you around the waist and press in on your abdomen, breathe out slowly when I do, that's it," She held pressure on her, "Now close your eyes and thinking of something relaxing, breath in again," She slowly turned Rebecca around to face her, "Eyes closed Rebecca," She whispered, "Slowly lift up your leg," Rebecca obliged and could feel the tension and tightness began to ease. Marlene commanded her to do it several times, each time becoming easier, slowly lower your leg and now lower your arms to your sides and take in a deep breath, now slowly release it," Marlene relayed as Rebecca opened her eyes their faces close together. "So that's how you do it," Rebecca quipped, "Do what?" She smiled cautiously, "Yoga huh?" She muttered under her breath her brown eyes darted back and forth as gazed deeply into Marlene's blue eyes the want and need to touch her raced through her like an avalanche.

They stood and stared at each other without a word, Marlene moved her face close to Rebecca's lips touching hers in a sweet gentle kiss she broke away and looked up into her eyes again the sultriness of Marlene's eyes told Rebecca there was still a spark between them. Rebecca felt her body quake their mouths meeting again, Marlene's tongue parted Rebecca's lips as she explored hers in a deep passionate kiss, "Marlene," Rebecca whispered, "Shh not now," Her hands finding the sides of her face she caressed her the tip of her tongue tracing Rebecca's lower lip, "Marlene please," She pulled slightly away from her, "We can't," She hesitated, Marlene lowered her head. "I'm sorry I wasn't thinking, I just got caught up in the moment," She stuttered, "Can we talk?" Rebecca sincerely asked they sat to the sofa, "I don't know where to began," She started, "With the truth," Marlene was quick to respond, "Ok the truth, I can't say those kisses weren't good, they were and they brought back a lot of memories but the end of our relationship was devastating for me," She felt emotional continuing, "I loved you but there was no second chances for us, you made that very clear and I had to let go of what was left of a bad situation," Her hand touched the side of Marlene's face, Marlene remained quiet. "I don't blame you, I blame most of what happened on myself, I just didn't realize that everything that was sacred to us was lost," She removed her hand from Marlene's face and lay it back down in her lap. "You can't shoulder all of the blame Rebecca, we never rationally sat down and talked, it just happened and yes I was hurting not because you slept with someone else so much but because we lost control of our senses and we let a career and a lack of a career ruin things," She responded honestly.

There was a moment of silence between them a time to reflect, "Some part of me will always love you, what we had meant more to me than you can imagine, I, learned how to truly love and to fight for that love," Rebecca could see a tear trickling down Marlene's face she wiped it away with her thumb, "Don't cry for we've both shed far too many tears," Her words caused Marlene's heart to sink to her feet. "Yes we have and I don't want to cry anymore," She managed to get the words out. "Your lucky to have met and married a wonderful man and there is no way you could be betray his trust or his love and I," She paused briefly, "And I've found the woman I love, yes she spoiled and pouty but I love her and she's what makes my world what it is," Marlene shook her head the realization of her words were taken to heart. "You are right," Marlene agreed, "I don't know if we can ever be friends but I'd like to try," Rebecca worded, "I would like that," She replied calmly. "I still need for you to help me," She spoke as she closed her eyes in thought, "I wish I could remember the day of the accident, why I was where I was when it happened," Rebecca groaned. "I will help you but only if you feel comfortable, however I don't want you straining yourself," Marlene scolded her, "I should go," She stood up her hand brushing Rebecca's shoulder, "Thank you Rebecca," She smiled and quickly left.


	8. Chapter VIII

**CHAPTER VIII**

 **Grace's perception**

"Good afternoon Rebecca," Mark walked in picking up her chart and flipping the page opened, "Dr. Blair," She replied quietly, "How do you feel?" He asked removing the dressing from her leg, "I'm good, I think the therapy is helping," She smiled casually, he looked to her with his piercing gray eyes, "Yes my wife has a unique way of working with her patients," He remarked as he began to bend her leg up and study the stiches he had placed in her, "These are about ready to come out, any soreness there?" He quizzed bending her leg to and fro, "Yes, but isn't that to be expected?" She asked looking for assurance, "It can be and it may itch and become tight, part of the healing, I would like to leave that open and see you back Friday to remove those stitches," He jotted a note on her chart, "Dr. Blair how much longer will I be in therapy?" She inquired clearing her throat, "As long as Marlene thinks, be patient, I know your eager to return to your old habits," He chuckled she looked at him and could only think of the kisses she shared with Marlene, "And please, I would prefer it if you would call me Mark, you and Marlene have such a connection and I want you to feel comfortable," He kindly ordered, her heart raced she felt small and awkward given the situation, "Ok Mark," She managed a smile, "I'll see you Friday," He answered leaving her alone in the room she climbed down from the table and stood momentarily, Elisabeth entered, "Are you ready?" She asked helping her to the door, "I am," They left the hospital and returned to the castle.

Grace and David entered the apartment with Marlene and Mark helping them with their luggage, "Oh Marlene its so good to see you," Grace whaled hugging her tightly, "I've missed you my best friend," Her troubles seemed distant now that Grace was there, "How are things in New Haven? I miss that place," Marlene smiled asking. "Great, I've been too busy," They sat down on the sofa, Mark and David conversed in the kitchen, "David looks good, are things going well with the practice?" She inquired they hugged again, "Yes, we've been so busy, I've been planning this trip for a month sometimes I'd get distracted and cause David to squirm," She laughed, "You must be tired would you like for me to show you to your room?" Grace stood up and followed Marlene up the spiral staircase and into a large bedroom, "Wow this is nice," They sat on the bed, "How are things? I was a little worried when you left," Marlene frowned, "Mark still wants a child," She stood up Rebecca crept into her mind, "I was hoping he'd forgo that for now," Grace relayed, "No, he's adamant and I don't know what to do," Grace stood up behind her, "I guess you've been unable to reason with him?" Marlene turned to face her, "I just give up and hope," She sighed, "Are you still taking the pill?" She furrowed her brow at Grace. "Yes," She came out, Grace could only stare. "Marlene!" She exclaimed, "What am I suppose to do, seriously Grace," Her tone angry, "Tell him you're not ready," She grabbed her by the shoulders, "Have you heard me at all, I've told him and he becomes pitiful and begs," She voiced trying to be rational.

"As long as you take the pill you won't become pregnant, he'll think something's wrong and will want answers, Marlene clearly your not thinking," She voiced with reason, "I know, I know," She raised her hand to her forehead, "The longer you keep this up the worse it will be to face the truth, Marlene, your not being reasonable," Marlene sat back down cradling her face in her hands, "I don't want to hurt him, not like this, I'm not ready to have a child, I haven't even had a chance to flow into my career, I've worked hard for this, very hard and 'I'm just not ready to be saddled with a kid," She became serious. "I can't tell you what to do, you're my friend and I just want you to be happy, I know he makes you happy," She stopped talking searching her face, "You are happy aren't you?" She asked staring into Marlene's eyes, "When I met Mark, I was grateful to him and how he took a keen interest in me and was supportive, helpful," She began to pace, "What are you saying?" Grace had a look of worry, "I do love him very much but I had no idea when we married he would want to have children, we never discussed it at least I never thought he would want one right away," She explained, "Enough talk, we will have plenty of time for that, I'm tired and need to rest," Marlene left Grace to nap.

"Good morning Rebecca," Marlene spoke as she watched her rolling her foot on the ball, "Marlene, I wasn't sure you were coming, she stood up balancing herself, "Rebecca I'd like for you to meet my friend Grace," She smiled they shook hands, "Always a pleasure," Rebecca added, "Grace is also a physical therapist," She nodded, "I guess double the work today," They all laughed. Marlene and Grace got down to work on Rebecca tiring her quickly, "I think that's enough for today," Grace spoke, "Would you ladies like to sit out on the terrace? I'll have Justus bring tea," Marlene and Grace looked at one another, "Sure that sounds lovely," Grace interjected they moved out onto the terrace, "This place is beautiful," Grace began, her head turning and viewing the surroundings of the castle grounds, "Thank you Grace, Königsbrunn is very old, actually hundreds of years old," Rebecca answered educating her about the place, Marlene stared deeply into Rebecca's eyes there was a second of silence, Grace set her cup of tea back down on the saucer startling them, "You both have a history?" She added catching Marlene off guard, "Yes," Rebecca cut in with a quick answer, "My brother Hagen and Marlene were married and we became good friends," Marlene's chest tightened. Grace grinned, "We've never really discussed your marriage or your life here Marlene," Grace remarked, "I didn't have a good marriage it was filled with a lot of unhappiness and bad memories," She relayed, "Rebecca what's your interest?" Grace changed the subject, "Fashion, I'm a designer for my family's business, LCL, we've owned an exclusive fashion house for years and I now work from home and have several designers working for me," She proudly spoke cutting an eye to Marlene. "Marlene, I can't imagine you not being happy here," She inconspicuously fished for an excuse from her, "Had nothing to do with this beautiful place or my homeland just the many circumstances that left me with a broken heart and shattered life," She sternly answered, Rebecca lowered her head.

They quietly drank their tea when the figure of a tall and slender woman approaching them caught their eye, "Hey," Rebecca became excited, she stood up to meet Lizette and took her by the hand, Marlene's gut churned she could barely swallow, Grace stared in anticipation, "Lizette Marlow meet Grace, Marlene's friend from America," She casually shook her hand Marlene cleared her throat loudly, "Lizette is my girlfriend," Rebecca added and then gazed at Marlene, "Well its nice to meet you," She responded finishing her tea, Lizette gave Marlene a cold look, "Marlene," She finally acknowledged her, "Grace how long will you be visiting Düsseldorf?" Her smile radiated as she asked, "A month and while I'm here I hope to learn a lot about this beautiful place and to work with Marlene as I did today, I'm a therapist also," She calmly volunteered information about herself, "I'm sure Marlene wouldn't mind the help, especially where Rebecca is concerned," She spoke in a calculated tone, Grace frowned at her words, Marlene's heart beat quickly she looked away from them, "Marlene is doing a good job Lizette, stop being callous," She scolded her, "I'm not its just you can be difficult, I know how you are and if Marlene can't tame your inhibitions, maybe Grace can," She mouthed causing negativity between the two of them, "We should go," Marlene voiced, "It's getting late and I have another patient this afternoon, if you'll excuse us," Marlene and Grace stood up, Rebecca had a red streak of anger across her face, "I'll see you out, Lizette, I'll meet you in the orangery," She gave her a look of discontent and followed them to the gateway, "I apologize for Lizette's outburst, I think she's just worried and eager for me to get well," She made an excuse for the delicate situation. "I'll see you Wednesday, eight thirty," Marlene answered as they parted ways.

The car ride back to the hospital was quiet at first, Marlene feared mentally what Grace may have thought of the uncomfortable situation Lizette put them in she found a parking place and began to get out of the car, "Not so fast," Grace grabbed her arm, Marlene held her breath for a moment, "What was wrong with Rebecca's girlfriend she seemed out of sorts, angry," She relayed, Marlene didn't want to answer, "I don't know, maybe she was having a bad day," She shut the door they sat there not moving, "Seems she has some animosity towards you, I got the feeling she was jealous of your relationship with Rebecca," Grace explained trying to rationalize the situation, "Don't be silly Grace, I think she's truly worried about Rebecca's health and the outcome of the surgery and the therapy," She surmised not wanting to discuss it any further. "And I think there's more to it then that, Rebecca, has she always been a lesbian?" Marlene wasn't quite sure of how to answer her, "I don't know, does it matter? Why do you ask?" Her words straight to the point, "I noticed the way she was looking at you as if," She could barely get the words out, "Stop it, please stop Grace," Marlene felt bitter and out of control, "I'm sorry, I guess I had a strange vibe about the situation," She became mum looking at Marlene from the corner of her eye. They finished their hospital rounds and grabbed a bite to eat, "I'll drop you at the apartment, I have some things in my office to take care of and I need to talk to Mark," She pulled the car up to the doorway, Grace got out closing the door and watching her drive away.

"Where have you been?" Lizette asked in a demanding tone, "Speaking with Elisabeth about family business," Rebecca replied with tension in her voice, "For two hours?" She spoke curtly, "What is wrong with you?" Rebecca began, "What ever do you mean?" She grumbled, "That scene you caused while Marlene and her friend were here, it was rude and unacceptable," She crossed her arms and was enraged, "Rebecca, you may not notice it but Marlene looks at you in a certain way, like there's something she finds intriguing about you," Lizette responded in a much calmer tone, Rebecca began to rub her temples, "When will you ever grow up, tell me why you are so jealous of every little thing?" Lizette walked towards the window staring out, "You've been with other women in your past and there was one particular one you loved deeply, she hurt you, do you follow me?" Rebecca could feel the hair rising on the back of her neck, "What exactly are you trying to say?" She confronted her with a nervous twitch, "You told it to me when we first met that there was a woman in your life, your greatest love, it didn't last and you were devastated," Lizette spoke as if she were telling a story book romance, "Stop it," Rebecca demanded, "I don't want to discuss it with you any longer, I'm trying to get my feet back on the ground so that I, we can return to the life we once had before, I love you," She insisted, "Rebecca I will get to the bottom of this," Lizette cautioned her, "I need to lay down, I'm tired and should rest," She walked slowly to the bedroom, "I have errands to run, I should be back in time for dinner," She collected her purse and left out leaving Rebecca in emotional turmoil.

"May I help you?" The receptionist at the desk asked Lizette as she stood in front of her, "Yes is Marlene Blair in please?" She asked, "I'll find out if she's still in her office, excuse me," She dialed the number, "May I ask who's calling?" She looked back up to her, "Lizette Marlow," She quickly responded, "First door on you right," The receptionist pointed, she smiled nodding her head, "Thank you," Lizette made her way to the door and knocked, "Come in," Marlene called out, she entered, "So what brings you here?" She questioned as Lizette took a seat in front of her desk, "I wanted to apologize for my rudeness earlier today, I guess I was overly excited about Rebecca and the progress she's making," She began the conversation, "Apology accepted," Marlene answered, "Is there anything else?" She further quizzed, "Yes actually there is," She replied causing, surprise to Marlene, "And what might that be?" She commented, "When Rebecca and I first met she was forthcoming about a lot of things that had happened in her past, her loves," Lizette hesitated briefly, "There was one love she said she thought she would never get over, I believe she referred to her as her greatest love," Marlene's skin began to crawl, "And what does this have to do with me?" She firmly interjected, "You wouldn't happen to know who she was would you?" She asked her eyes piercing hers, "No I don't and why would you ask me that?" Marlene became defensive her heart pounded, "Because there's a stir in the room every time you are present, I've seen it with my own eyes the way you look at her and you were married to her brother once surely you had contact with her then," Marlene sighed finding it difficult to look Lizette in the face, "Yes I was married to Hagen, I'm sure she's told you that our marriage was very stormy and it didn't last long, Rebecca left for New York before my divorce, maybe someone in New York perhaps?" She evaded her the best way she could.

Lizette stood up from her desk, "When Rebecca isn't so angry with me, I'll confront her again, I wanted to thank your husband for all he's done for Rebecca, could you pass that along please," She asked with gratitude, Marlene swallowed hard, "Yes, I will," With an impish grin she left her and stood outside the door, "Eventually I'll get to the bottom of this," She whispered under her breath and then walked away. Marlene rubbed her face with her hands she felt the pit of her stomach churning, Mark entered, "Hey," He spoke walking over to her desk and embracing her around the shoulders, "David and Grace are on a tour this evening of the Rhine why don't you and I have an early dinner," He winked suggesting a sexual encounter, "Oh she didn't tell me," Marlene seemed distant to him, "Last minute thing David came up with," He mentioned lifting her up by her hand, "Are you ok?" He questioned, "I'm just tired, long day," She remarked, "Grace a big help?" Marlene nodded, "I don't want her to work the whole time she's here Mark, this is their vacation and," He placed his finger to her lips, "Now you know how Grace is, she's a workaholic," He laughed answering her, "Can we just go home and relax?" She asked taking her lab coat off, "Sure," He locked his arm within hers they left and returned to the apartment. Mark followed Marlene into the bedroom kissing the back of her neck as he unbuttoned his shirt exposing his rigid chest, "Hmmm sexy," Marlene gawked as she began to run her fingertips through the smooth hair on it, they kissed, he pulled her shirt over her head gazing at her with heated desire, "Make love to me," She begged lost in the moment, he kissed her forcibly stripping her of the rest of her clothing and then his, he mounted her with force she shrieked in erotic passion as he penetrated her in steady strokes. "We should shower and dress before Grace and David return," Marlene spoke climbing from the bed and getting into the shower.

David and Grace quietly entered the apartment finding Marlene and Mark sitting on the sofa and enjoying a glass of wine, "Care to join us?" Mark quipped, David took off his jacket, "I'm tired and I need a shower," He began to head upstairs, Mark nodded, "If you ladies will excuse me, I think I'll follow David's lead, He finished the last of his wine, tapping Marlene on the shoulder, "Grace your rather quiet tonight was your tour good?" Marlene commented, "It was lovely and romantic," She grinned, sitting next to Marlene, "Marlene, I've been thinking," She seemed sad, "Thinking about what, you worry me when you think too much," She had a lump forming in her throat, "About today, Rebecca," Marlene stood up, "I don't want to talk about it Grace," She sipped her wine, "Marlene you have to tell Mark the truth about not wanting a baby, I mean somehow this is all connected, your return here, Rebecca's girlfriend and her strange attitude towards you," She began to contemplate.


	9. Chapter 9

**CHAPTER IX.**

 **The road ahead**

Marlene made her way to the castle a little earlier than normal, "Good morning, your early," Rebecca grinned rolling her foot on the ball trying to get a head start, "Well I was up, Mark had a surgery first thing," Rebecca furrowed her brow, "Where's your friend?" Marlene sighed staring at her, "I left her sleeping," She answered, "Want to try stretching now?" She laid the yoga mat out, "Sure," Rebecca seemed eager. Marlene stood behind her grasping her arms as she raised them in the air, "We should talk," Marlene offered, "I'm listening," She slightly turned her head back towards her, "Lizette came to visit me yesterday, I was rather surprised," Rebecca became angry, "She what? What did she say?" She lowered her arms turning to face Marlene. "She wanted to apologize at first but then she asked me questions about who you were with in the past, your greatest love," She crossed her arms clinching her jaw, "I'm sorry, I had no idea she would do that, what did you say?" Rebecca seemed curious, "I told her I was married to Hagen and that our marriage didn't last and you moved to New York, I can't continue to lie Rebecca," She became more adamant, "If Lizette finds about us and then I'm afraid she'll use it against me," Rebecca frowned, "Nonsense Marlene aren't you being a little dramatic?" She worded firmly, "Lizette doesn't like me and feels I'm a threat," She told her with concern, "I don't think she, dislikes you and I don't think she's that vindictive," Rebecca added in an attempt to ease Marlene's worried mind. "She mentioned you and the one love you had a hard time getting over, was that me or someone else?" She asked looking for affirmation.

Grace caught a ride to the castle unbeknownst to Marlene, "Thank you," She got out and paid the cab driver and then rang the door bell, Justus answer, "Yes ma'am may I help you?" Grace smiled at him, "Is Marlene here? I'm her friend Grace," He bowed letting her in, "I believe they're in the workout room, this way," He showed her down the hall and to the base of a small set of steps, "Right through that door madam," He grinned motioning with his hand, "Thanks," She began to walk to the door when she noticed it was ajar she peered through it and watched Marlene and Rebecca. Rebecca remained wordless, "You aren't answering me Rebecca was what you and I shared so insignificant to you that you can't answer the question?" Rebecca lowered her head and shook it, "No but it was so long ago and," She stopped talking, Grace's throat tightened, her heart pounded wildly listening to what was transpiring, "Rebecca," Marlene grasped her by the shoulders, "You walked out, I didn't want it but you said there were no second chances, do you remember?" She pulled away from her. Marlene groaned, "Because you cheated," She blurted out loudly, "Come on Marlene, it wasn't just about cheating there were other things that broke us apart, my career, your boredom, why are we rehashing this?" She became perplexed. "Because, Lizette will find out, I don't know what you've told her and I don't want to be caught in the middle," Rebecca took in a deep breath, "You mean you don't want your husband to find out," She turned from her and walked over to the window. "Lizette really doesn't know who I am does she?" Rebecca froze and found it difficult to talk.

Grace quickly knocked on the door Marlene jerked her head around, "Grace how did you get here?" She questioned walking over to her, Grace decided to remain quiet about what she had heard, "I just took a cab, I can't believe you didn't awaken me," She fussed at Marlene twitching her finger, "I thought you needed the rest and I didn't want you to work the whole time you were here," She voiced, "Good morning, Rebecca, I didn't mean to be rude," Rebecca acknowledged her but her mind remained on Marlene, "Shall we get to work," Grace ordered, Marlene followed, "Grace will help you with the leg stretches today," She mentioned with a trembling voice, "Marlene, are you alright you seem on edge?" Grace asked knowing there was something between the two of them, "I'm fine just a little moody today," She answered taking a seat, "Rebecca extend your leg out please," She obliged remaining silent, they worked on stretching exercises, "You must be tired," Grace gently massaged her calf she moaned the workout hard but she endured it, "Thank you," Rebecca noted, "If you'll excuse me and show yourselves out, I'm tired and need a shower," She cut an eye to Marlene as she left the room, "I'm sorry Grace, appears Rebecca's a little off today," Marlene remarked collecting her things they returned to the apartment, "Marlene," Grace began, "You and Rebecca seemed at odds this morning," Marlene could feel her heart sinking, "We just discussed Lizette's rudeness that's all, she apologized and I confronted her about the way she was acting." Grace managed to crack a slight grin.

"Marlene, I can't help but wonder if your being truthful about this," Grace went on to explain, "I think you haven't told Mark the whole truth about why you don't want a child," She became hesitant continuing, "And your past," Marlene pursed her lips her throat parched from anguish, "I'm your best friend Marlene but I feel I don't know a thing about you, you returned back home and have become strange and guarded." She harshly spoke in attempt to get Marlene's attention, "I never wanted to come back here," A tear rolled down her cheek, "I was happy in New Haven, away from all the sad memories the things that caused me such grief," Grace embraced her, "Talk to me Marlene, please," She implored but the sounds of the door opening startled them, Marlene turned to face the window wiping away the tears, "David, Mark, you two are back early," They were talking and laughing as Grace moved towards them, "Well," Mark answered, "We thought since we would be leaving for Zurich first thing tomorrow we'd take you two ladies out for a night on the town," He walked over to Marlene and embraced her she felt cold and rigid, "How was you day?" He smiled brushing his lips against hers, "It was fine," Her response was to the point, "I'll go shower and change," She continued looking at Grace and walking into the bedroom, "Is Marlene alright?" Mark quizzed Grace, "Just tired," She smiled calmly.

Marlene was awakened by the chime of her cell phone she climbed from the bed and grabbed it from the night stand, "Can't do therapy today, I'll text later," It read, Marlene's heart skipped a beat she felt Rebecca was angry, "Fine, I have two new patients today, let me know," She text her back. Marlene readied herself for work she pulled her hair back in a ponytail and finished applying her makeup, "Good morning Grace," She spoke coming from out of the bedroom, "Morning," She was staring at her cell phone, "Just heard from David they are enjoying the seminar and are planning a tour of the alps tomorrow afternoon," She relayed, "Yes Mark said the first day was hectic when I talked to him last night," Grace chuckled, "Makes you wonder if we shouldn't have gone with them," Marlene arched her brow, "You know how Mark is, hard to tear away from a seminar," She sipped her coffee, "Do you plan to go with me today?" She questioned, "Is Rebecca first thing? I rather love that old castle and would love to tour it," She answered, "Uh no, actually she text me earlier and said she wasn't feeling well today," She stated, Grace's mind traveled back to the conversation between them, "Oh, I'm sorry, I hope that workout wasn't too stressful for her," She tried to be reasonable, "I guess," Marlene seemed sad to her, "About Rebecca, we never finished our conversation about her," Marlene sighed, "There's nothing more to say, Rebecca is very anxious the accident and all has caused a lot of pain and heartache, some things she's unable to remember, she's been through a lot," Marlene defended her in a kind way. "I believe I'll stay in today, I might walk along the river, see some of the sights here," She affirmed, Marlene gave her directions before departing for the hospital.

Marlene, tired entered the apartment, "Grace, you cooked," She furrowed her brow at her, "Hard day?" She asked letting Marlene taste the spaghetti sauce she had made, "Hmmm, a cook too, I see," They snickered, "I just thought after a long day you might would like something home cooked and a relaxing night in," Marlene grinned, "They conversed about her patients and the schedule for the next day, Marlene sipped her wine, "How did the sightseeing go?" She changed the subject they moved to the sofa and sat down a bottle of red wine would be shared between them, "Düsseldorf is a lovely place, I just can't imagine the sad things that wanted to make you leave here," She eased into the conversation not wanting to distract or upset Marlene, "I love my home, its not that its the things that happened that made me want to leave," Grace pondered for a moment, "Your marriage to Rebecca's brother, I thought that was resolved, he is married to your sister?" Marlene sat her empty glass down, "They've been married for years and it's a good marriage, meant to be, I guess you could say," She remarked her text chimed she looked at her cell to find a message from Rebecca, "Sorry about earlier, Lizette was leaving for the Bahamas this morning, had to see her off," She ended the message with a smiley face, "That's ok, maybe tomorrow?" She questioned her back, "Fine," The conversation ended, "My mother's tragic death, Kim and Emilio went through a lot, I didn't have much of a career," She added turning her phone off, "Yes but you've overcome those, Mark is a lucky guy," She winked, Marlene's gut began to churn she didn't want to discuss Mark or having a baby. "It's late I hope you don't mind but I'd like a hot shower and to get to bed early," Grace finished the last sip of wine in her glass, "I think I'll turn in also," Marlene headed to the bed room and began to strip.

The hot beads of water pelted Marlene's skin the fragrant bubbles from the soap she used relieved the stress she was feeling with her hair wet she stepped from the shower and began to comb the fine stands out, her mind on Rebecca and the kiss she had shared with her. Marlene lay in her bed nude closing her eyes she just couldn't get Rebecca out of her thoughts the heat she felt became more intense as it radiated through her body. She lay there the moments felt like hours she tossed and turned grimacing as she stared at the clock it read ten thirty, "God, I must be crazy," She whispered loudly and waited for any noise that may have come from Grace upstairs. Marlene slowly climbed from the bed and began to dress she crept out closing the bedroom door ever so quietly she first looked at the staircase and then around the dim light of the apartment she snuck out locking the door behind her. Grace quickly made her way down the stairs and slung open the door to Marlene's bedroom only to find her gone, she moved back to the staircase and took a seat her mind reeling about where Marlene had escaped to knowing all to well it was to pay Rebecca a visit she groaned in anticipation of what Marlene was up to, Mark filled her sad thoughts, her friend a man like a brother to her was about to be devastated by the one woman he loved. Grace returned to bed and made a plan it was time to confront Marlene about Rebecca.

Rebecca worked late into the evening on some office paperwork she was dressed in a satin gown and robe and she laid stretched across the bed when a knock came to her door she looked at the alarm clock on the nightstand and wondered who could be stopping by so late. Marlene patiently waited on the other side of the door, Rebecca tidied her hair and tied the sash on her robe before opening the door, "Marlene," She looked at her in shock, "It's late, what are you doing here?" She smiled, Marlene looked pitiful, "I'm sorry its so late but we need to talk," Rebecca lowered her shoulders, "We really don't have anything to talk about, I don't want to discuss our past," She held her hand on the door tightly, "Please Rebecca just five minutes that's all I'm asking," She sighed letting her in, "Marlene," She started closing the door, "Did you confront Lizette," Her tone rushed, "No I decided to let things cool down and I will talk to her when she returns, is this what this is about?' She appeared miffed, "I just felt like we needed to clear the air," She hesitated, "What are you so worried about?" Marlene tossed her purse to the sofa, "Lizette has a vendetta and I don't now why, I've never given her a reason to," Rebecca raised her hand cutting her off, "This isn't about Lizette is it Marlene?" She gave her a harsh stare, "What do you mean?" She was at a loss for words. "You're here because this is where you want to be," She softly spoke getting Marlene's attention. "I, I," She couldn't speak further she just gazed into Rebecca's eyes, she moved closer to her, her hand reaching out and cupping the side of Rebecca's face. Rebecca thought briefly, "I can't Marlene, I love Lizette," Marlene's lips began to tremble, "I wouldn't be standing here like this if you truly loved her," She answered not taking her eyes from Rebecca's.

Rebecca groaned, "I can't do this, I," Marlene grasped her chin with her index finger lifting her face up closer to hers. Marlene placed her lips on Rebecca's her tongue exploring every inch of her mouth she moaned lowly as the kiss became more intense. Rebecca pulled away staring, "Marlene," She whispered, "Shh, let me show you how I feel," Marlene begged they kissed again passionately, "I want you," She ordered, Rebecca took her by the hand leading her into the bedroom they stood before each other, Marlene looked down to the sash that kept Rebecca's robe secured she untied it pulling the robe back and dropping it to the floor the silkiness of her satin gown glowed in the light beaming through the window, "You are so beautiful," Marlene spoke sexually, Rebecca's eyes darted back in forth she unbuttoned Marlene's shirt exposing her taut breasts she unsnapped her bra her chest now bare, "Make love to me," Marlene groaned locking her arms tightly around Rebecca's waist, Rebecca finished undressing her, Marlene slipped Rebecca's nightgown off. A tear came to Marlene's eyes, "What's wrong?" She asked as her lips and tongue traced her neck, "I've missed you so much," She gulped gasping for air the erotic heat from Rebecca's lips teasing her more, "Don't talk," She whimpered feeling the effects of passionate desire creep over her. Rebecca lie on top of Marlene their faces close she tenderly kissed her lips before engulfing her breasts in her mouth her hands dancing wildly down the sides of her body, Marlene heaved her body up as Rebecca's tongue entered her void she ran her fingers through Rebecca's hair she winced and uttered, Rebecca tasting for the first time in years the sweetness she expelled, "Rebecca," Her voice sharp, she shrilled climaxing the waves of sexual passion causing every muscle in her body to twitch.

Marlene aggressively rolled an awaiting Rebecca over she mounted her pressing her mound against hers, her lips kissing every facet of her face she tongued her ear whispering and breathing in it as she did, "I've never wanted anyone the way I want you," She moaned her breath now short she pulled herself up staring at the loveliness of Rebecca's body, "You're still so beautiful, even after all these years," She cried out, Rebecca grasped the back of her head drawing her back down to her lips in a desired kiss, Marlene rubbed her breast gently taking her nipples in her mouth and tracing them with the tip of her tongue, Rebecca began to breath in heavily, "Please don't stop just make love to me," Her order stern, Marlene's mouth met her crevice in shear need and want Rebecca arched her back up meeting the strokes of Marlene's tongue until she released in a frenzy of orgasms they lay in each others arms spent from the sexual encounter they had experienced. The moments of silence was broken by Marlene's whisper, "What are you thinking," She asked Rebecca twisting a lock of her hair in her finger, "How we've gotten to this point," She sighed rolling over to face her, "Because its what we both wanted," Marlene answered her lips brushing Rebecca's, "How will you explain this to your husband?" Marlene raised up, "I don't want to talk about him or Lizette or anyone else, I just want to lay here with you and enjoy the after effects of the passion we just bestowed on each other," She remarked candidly, "Our lives will go on with other people Marlene," She spoke realistically. "Please Rebecca don't ruin this moment or what we just shared," Rebecca climbed from the bed and began to pace, "How am I going to explain this to Lizette," She nervously ran her hand through her hair, Marlene got up and walked over to her, she clasped her hands around Rebecca's face, "Do you love her really?" She posed the question to her.


	10. Chapter X

**CHAPTER X.**

 **Un Kept Secrets**

"Rebecca, answer me," Marlene became more adamant she pulled away from her grasp, "It's late you should go," Marlene could only stare, "Are you sure that's what you want?" She voiced in a lowered tone. Rebecca began to weep as she slipped on her robe, "Please just get dressed and go, I can't believe I allowed this to happen," Marlene picked up her clothing and started dressing, "I'm sorry, I thought," Marlene stopped talking briefly, "That's what I get for thinking," She further stated in a huff, "I don't want you to be angry, our lives are different now, different from all those years ago," Rebecca confirmed she grabbed Marlene's arm sitting her down on the bed, "Can we just talk?" She questioned in a meager voice, "You said I should leave," She crossed her arms, Rebecca attempted to grin, "When you left me, I was shattered," She slightly hesitated, "Well we were both shattered, I treated you badly, I blamed myself for the things that went wrong between us," Marlene sighed cutting in, "We weren't happy," Rebecca raised her voice, "Please let me finish," Marlene nodded, "I loved you enough to know I had to let you go, that even though I was hurt and devastated by your decision not to give us a second chance you needed to find happiness and that inner peace you lost," Marlene found her to be somber as she spoke, "I never thought I would return to Düsseldorf let alone Germany, I, could just sweep those bad memories under the rug and not relive them," She slightly chuckled. "It is late and Grace doesn't know I've left," She shrugged her shoulders standing up from the bed.

"Marlene," Rebecca voiced walking her to the door, "I'm sorry, we shouldn't have done what we did tonight," Marlene slung her purse over her shoulder, "I'm not disappointed at all nor will I apologize," Her look became hardened. "We may have not been happy but it was never about the sex," Rebecca became confused, "Was this just about sex for you?" She asked placing her hand against the door and not letting Marlene out, "No, I didn't mean it that way, what I meant was we never lost the great sex we had, sex is how I distracted you from so many things," She answered with candor, "But our lives didn't totally revolve around sex, we had a loving and caring relationship," Rebecca remarked in a hurtful tone, "You have to own up to your feelings Rebecca, you didn't answer me earlier when I asked you if you were in love with Lizette, you have to admit what you really feel," She replied calmly placing her hand on the doorknob and turning it, "Goodnight," She whispered existing the orangery and leaving Rebecca to contemplate what was just said. Rebecca leaned up against the back of the door she thought of their night of passion and how erotic it was but the stark reality of Lizette crept back into her mind, she did the unthinkable she cheated on the woman she claimed she loved an uneasiness clamored through her like a bolt of lightning, "God how do I explain this," She uttered returning to bed, "I promised myself I wouldn't lie or cheat," She became angry and sullen as she laid in bed the need for sleep overtaking her.

Marlene quietly entered the apartment she sat her purse down on the table and took her jacket off she managed a smile heading back into the bedroom she climbed into bed satisfied both sexually and mentally her mind racing back to the sex she had with Rebecca, her touch the way she kissed the way she handled her sweetly and gently in bed the things she missed the most about lovemaking were the things Rebecca had always given her, she taught her how to make passionate love. Marlene buried herself beneath the covers a night fulfilled by her wildest dreams and desires but she felt a sickness in the pit of her stomach she loved Mark but didn't want to hurt him the anxiety of cheating on him flooded her thoughts the tears welled up in her eyes in relation to the anguish and turmoil she had created. "How can I tell him?" She rehearsed out loud and then bit her lower lip in silence not wanting to be heard by Grace her night fitful and lacking of sleep. "Good morning," Grace spoke, as Marlene existed the bedroom dressed and ready for the day's work ahead, "Where did you go last night?" She asked getting to the point, "What?" Marlene felt a twinge of embarrassment, "You left out late," She resounded, "I couldn't sleep and I went out for a walk to clear my mind," She quickly asserted. Grace finished her coffee, "Marlene what's going on with you?" She didn't hesitate to explore continuing, "We've been best friends practically since we met but your strange and apparently at odds with yourself." She goaded moving closer to her face. "I'm not, I'm fine, I'm late for my period," She noted lowering her shoulders in dissatisfaction.

Grace clutched her by the arms, "So you might be pregnant after all," She surmised taking a seat next to her, "Yeah," Marlene stared blankly not wanting to discuss it further, "You could have told me sooner, I thought you were on the pill?" She questioned, "I am!" She exclaimed, "You still haven't shared with Mark about contraception?" Marlene looked at her, "No, I haven't had the heart he desperately wants a child and he's not taking no for an answer, I told you this already," Her tone sharp, "Ok, you did but I can't help thinking something's off with you," She began to dig a little deeper, "Please Grace, stop badgering me, I feel shitty enough about this whole baby thing," She placed the palm of her hand to her forehead, "I'm not talking about being pregnant," She stared seriously, momentarily, "I'm talking about the strange vibe I get when you and Rebecca are in the room together," She remarked studying the expression on her face, "What do you mean?" She asked with a blank look, "I think there's more about Rebecca than you care to elaborate," She spoke stoically, "Please leave Rebecca out of this conversation," She lowered her head her heart jumped to her throat, "Marlene talk to me, do you think I'd be angry or disappointed if there was something about Rebecca you failed to tell me?" Her questioning caused her to think about what she was saying. Marlene took in a deep breath exhaling slowly she sat on the sofa Grace followed sitting beside her, "Grace, I want you to understand something and I hope in my heart you won't judge me," She began, Grace grasped her hand and looked her in the eyes.

"When Hagen and I divorced, I got involved with Tristan, Hagen's and Rebecca's brother, during the beginning of our relationship I was raped by an acquaintance of his and I discovered I was pregnant, Rebecca had returned from New York and helped me get through it all," She stopped clearing her throat, "But Rebecca had fallen in love with me," She stated waiting for a response from Grace, "I'm listening, go on," She assured her it was ok, "I didn't take it very well at first, I declared to her that I wasn't a lesbian and that I wasn't interested in a relationship with her or any other woman but things changed, Rebecca would try to distance herself from me and I would draw her back in, I couldn't leave her alone, I was intrigued, mystified by her in many ways, Tristan and I became engaged and I had every intention of marrying him but as fate would have it, it didn't happen," Grace calmed a now weeping Marlene, "Tristan? I don't believe I've met him," Marlene shook her head in a negative way and continued, "I never knew I could love anyone as much as I loved her, I made myself realize it only after it was too late for Tristan and I," She stood up from the sofa, "I hurt him badly Grace, I left this man who only wanted a happy life with me at the alter, I disgraced and embarrassed him all for the love of Rebecca," She wiped her eyes as Grace took in and processed Marlene's confessions, "Its ok Marlene," She tried to ease her conscience, "It was difficult at first, I did the unthinkable," She grimaced, "I slept with Rebecca while I was dating him, I made Rebecca miserable, I lied to them both, I was confused and I couldn't make myself believe I was falling in love with a woman," Grace interjected, "So you had a thing for Rebecca and slept with her before your wedding day?" Marlene's stare was pensive, "Yes but I told him the truth, it took a lot out of our relationship, I was jealous of Rebecca and the girl she had begun to date," Marlene answered crossing her arms and pacing.

Grace's mind reeled at Marlene's revelations, "So Rebecca began to see someone else to try and get over you and you didn't take it very well," She worded grasping Marlene by the hand and pulling her back to the sofa, "Oh I was angry and jealous, Tristan could tell something was going on he confronted me and I told him that Rebecca meant more to me then just a friend but I tried to make amends, I did love him and I wanted to go on with our relationship, Rebecca or any relationship with her was not in the cards, I just couldn't hurt Tristan anymore than I already had but when your in love its impossible to continue with someone else, I would have never been happy with Tristan and I couldn't continue to lie to myself either, I loved Rebecca that was certain and I just had to let go, let go and love her and let her love me, Tristan ruined me in many ways," Grace was speechless the more Marlene confessed, "He dealt Rebecca and I hell until things began to iron themselves out," Grace groaned under her breath, "I'm guessing things with you and Rebecca didn't last?" Her question on target, "Rebecca and I love each other, we always will but we just couldn't make it work, Rebecca was very devoted to her work, her family, mainly Tanja, pressured and and threatened her the stress it caused was unbearable and it took a toll on us, I didn't work, Rebecca worked constantly, we struggled to find happiness, I did finally take the receptionist job at LCL but things between us got complacent," Marlene bit her tongue in an effort to brave up to the fact Rebecca cheated on her.

"I'm so sorry Marlene," Grace offered in condolence, "Rebecca hurt me Grace by cheating, it was a one time thing, we had argued and in the heat of an angry moment she slept with the Art Director of LCL, she lied about it for weeks and I found out from someone else of her infidelity, imagine how I felt, her not telling me the truth, I just couldn't deal with the lies and the unhappiness and the promises she never seemed to keep," Grace sighed deeply, "I assume you broke it off then?" Marlene wept again, "I did, I wouldn't give her another chance, I couldn't, I gave her a dose of her own medicine and slept with Tristan out of spite and anger, this hurt her badly and she tried very hard to mend what we had, I just felt I needed to find myself, I got a job in LA and left, it didn't last, I returned to Düsseldorf and avoided her until I came to New Haven," She finished talking clasping her hands together and reflecting. "I see, does Mark know about Rebecca?" Grace asked knowing the answer, "No, only Hagen he has no idea of my bisexuality and I chose not to tell him because I didn't want to relive the hurt and the pain my relationship with Rebecca caused me," She stated firmly, "I think he should know Marlene?" She answered her truthfully, "I'm not ready to tell him and certainly not now because I had no clue when I returned here that she was in this state and needed his and my help, wow who would've ever guessed this would happen, seeing her again, ten years is a long time Grace," She looked firmly at Marlene, "Why did you take her therapy case?" She quizzed, "Because Mark thought I could help her, an old friend and ex family member would be easier to deal with and Rebecca didn't have a problem with it, I was uncomfortable at first but I love Mark and Rebecca has also moved on and loves Lizette," She lowered her head.

Grace handed Marlene a tissue she wiped her eyes, "Somehow I don't think that's the case," She insisted firmly, "I'm going to be late for work," Marlene stood up and collected her purse from the table she fetched her keys, "I'll see you at lunch," She quietly left the apartment her heart pounding out of control she ignored Grace's last statement leaving her to ponder the sad story she had shared with her. Marlene fumbled for the keys to Mark's office her cell phone chimed she entered the office closing the door and peering at her phone, "We should talk," The message read from Rebecca, she text her back, "Meet for coffee?" Her fingers quickly typed the message, "Fine, when and where?" She replied, "I have a patient at nine thirty, say eleven at the café by LCL?" She decided, Rebecca was in agreement, Marlene finished her rounds and headed nervously for the café, Rebecca sat in the corner sipping coffee a look of guilt riddled her face, "Marlene," She spoke sitting her cup down, Marlene sat and ordered a coffee, "I'm sorry about last night Rebecca, I was wrong and I didn't think," She uttered lowly, "I'm as guilty as you are, I mean I let it happen," She shrugged, "We both must shoulder the blame, I have to be truthful with Lizette," She remarked, "I can't tell Mark Rebecca, if you tell Lizette then she will use it against me," Rebecca frowned, "I wont let that happen," She assured her, "I don't trust her she already thinks I have some weird thing about you," Marlene became insecure and worried, "I love her and she loves me, I want my life with her to be honest and up front, I can't have this cloud hanging over my head, I already feel shitty," She was candid in her tone, "I can't trust her," She voiced sternly, Rebecca exhaled loudly, "About last night," She began to fidget in her chair, "Yes," Marlene awaited a word, "I can't help but think about how much I've missed you, truly," Her dark brown eyes mesmerized her, "But, I don't believe I can ever make you happy, I know that when you left me I had a lot of time to think and letting you go was what was best for the both of us," She trembled as she talked.

Marlene had a tear roll down her cheek, "I know, again I'm sorry that I let my feelings for you overtake my mind," She lifted the coffee cup to her lips the words Rebecca spoke made her feel as though she were dying inside. "Ten years is a lifetime my life has changed and revolved," Marlene quickly interjected, "But it hasn't come full circle," She reminded her managing a grin from her, Rebecca hadn't changed much Marlene stared at her the fine line that bordered her squared jaw led to the defining dimple in her chin there was a storm that always brewed in those big brown eyes, her well kept hair showed the elegant neckline she always enjoyed caressing, the curve of her lips, inviting, "If you should wish to seek another therapist, I understand completely," She mentioned, "We've come this far Marlene, as far as I'm concerned you've helped me greatly and I will forever be indebted to you and Mark," She smiled relaying the message to her, "But you don't have feelings for me?" Marlene cautiously questioned, "I don't, I will always love you in my heart, you were my guiding light you are very special to me and I cherish those memories but that's all they are now, memories," She could feel her throat tighten as she told a very melancholy Marlene. "I should go," Marlene looked to her watch, "I'm having lunch with Grace, please reconsider telling Lizette, I feel it will only cause problems," She left Rebecca to think about what she had to say. Marlene walked out and turned back looking through the picture window at the woman who once made her world turn she felt sad, depressed and anxious she walked away making her mind up that she should focus on her husband and the child he so desperately wanted to have.

Grace awaited Marlene's arrival to the apartment for lunch she had prepared them sandwiches and tea, "Hey how's your day been?" She welcomed Marlene as she entered the door, lunch was on the table, "Its been good, I have one patient left this afternoon, a real challenge," She remarked biting into her sandwich, "I heard from David they'll be in early afternoon tomorrow," She giggled, Marlene could tell she had missed him, "Yes I've missed Mark," She finished her food and sipped her tea her gut churned in thoughts of Rebecca, "I can help you with Rebecca in the morning, if you wish but the afternoon will be reserved for my husband," She winked, "Yes, I need some alone time with Mark," Marlene appeared somber and quiet. "Are you alright?" She asked, "I'll be fine," The hurt of Rebecca's rejection weighed heavy on her.


	11. Chapter 11

**CHAPTER XI.**

 **Stolen Hearts**

"Good morning," Tristan tapped Rebecca on the shoulder with the newspaper, "Hey, you must of gotten in late last night," He sat down to the table, Justus poured his coffee, "Will you be having breakfast?" He further inquired, "Yes," Justus bowed his head, "I'll have it brought in," He spoke turning and leaving, "You look chipper this morning, how's therapy?" He questioned, "Good, I'm a little stiff this morning," She replied thinking back to her night of passion with Marlene, "Are you sure you look a little piqued," He laughed, Rebecca swallowed hard looking away, Tristan looked around, "Where is Elisabeth this morning?" He quizzed looking back at Rebecca, "LCL, an early meeting," She finished the eggs on her plate, "I have therapy in a few," She wiped her mouth with her napkin, "Drinks after dinner?" He mentioned, "Yeah sure," She got up and kissed his cheek leaving for the workout room. "Oh Grace I didn't realize you were already here," She voiced looking around for Marlene, "Marlene dropped me off she had some business to take care of this morning, shall we start?" She smiled, "Sure," Rebecca grinned arching her brow they worked on stretching exercises stopping to take a break, "Water?" Rebecca offered handing her a bottle they sat down, "So have you enjoyed your stay in Germany?" She started the conversation, "I have, its beautiful, I almost hate to leave," She seemed, sad, "I guess you've missed Marlene?" She stated, "I have and I will she's my best friend and I miss her dearly," She relayed thinking about her.

"She's a wonderful woman," Rebecca stared with an impish grin, Grace took in a deep breath, "I hope you don't think I'm too forward but Marlene told me about you," Rebecca's heart skipped a beat she slightly lowered her head, "I never thought she would tell anyone, I know Mark doesn't know," Rebecca sat back in her chair, Grace shook her head, "I don't understand her, there's nothing to be ashamed of, she should have told Mark, you were a very important part of her life, her past," She alleged, "I hurt her very badly Grace," Her tone serious, "I can only imagine the deep pain she felt, that when she left here the second time that it was for good, there would never be another chance between us and we both had to move on, I was inconsolable at first, I know in my heart it was the right thing to do and I have to respect why she felt she needed to remain silent," Grace furrowed her brow, "Does Lizette know about Marlene?" There was some hesitation on Rebecca's part, "She does, in a way, however she doesn't know her by name, I told her I was in love once and that she was my greatest love," She eased her tensions as she spoke, "Marlene said you two had struggled," She mentioned, "If you only knew the struggles we went through to be together, we were madly in love," She snickered thinking back to the rough times they had. Grace thought for a moment, "Rebecca may I tell you something?" She gave her a look of serious concern, "Can I stop you?" She hinted under her breath, "Marlene and I have been best friends since we met, I could tell there were scars abounding her she didn't elaborate much and I didn't push it either but returning here has changed her significantly," She paused briefly before continuing.

"I noticed those changes when I got here and spending time working with her, she hasn't been forthcoming but I could tell something was up when your in the room or when we've discussed you she seems distracted and I believe she's still in love with you," Rebecca jerked her head up, "I don't know if that's the case, I mean I love Lizette she's my future, Mark is a great guy who can make her happy, I wouldn't have been able to do that, I ruined any chances for giving her what she really wanted and needed, I'm sure she's told you I was hard driven, self centered and a workaholic?" She stared her in the eyes as she spoke, "She did but that doesn't change the fact she's never gotten over you, not really, living in America only kept that fact hidden and as long as she could bury those feelings," Rebecca quickly interjected, "I will always love her deep down she sewed the strings of my heart together, my greatest love," She resounded grinning. "I guess you aren't really interested?" She began to feel her out, "Uh, no as I said Lizette is my future," She tried to be convincing, "Are we ready to finish?" Grace interrupted, "Yes," They finished the exercises just as Marlene walked in, "I trust Grace did a good job?" She asked quietly, "She did, I missed you," Rebecca's tone comforting, "I had hospital business to take of, I'm sorry," She kindly apologized. "Grace are you ready," She asked opening the door, "Wait Marlene can I talk to you for a moment?" She slightly begged, "If you'll excuse me, I'll wait out in the car, Rebecca," She nodded leaving them alone.

"Yes," Marlene was sharp and to the point, Rebecca grimaced, "I guess you're angry with me?" She questioned looking down to the floor. Marlene grunted lifting Rebecca's chin up with her index finger, "I'm not, you just knocked me down a peg or two," She attempted a smile, "I never meant to hurt you Marlene," She shrugged her shoulders, "Grace talked to me," Marlene squinted her eyes, "What?" Rebecca moved closer her hands finding there way to Marlene's hips, "The other night," She started to speak, "When we made love," Marlene stopped her placing her fingers to her lips, "Please don't, I know we shouldn't have done it, you told me we made a mistake, you didn't say anything to Grace did you?" She became concerned, "No, no I didn't, please let me finish," Marlene gazed into her eyes, "Alright, you want to talk," She looked down to Rebecca's hands she quickly removed them, "Marlene your wonderful and beautiful and have so much to offer, I understand why you left but look at you, look how happy you are a budding career and a devoted husband," Marlene took Rebecca's hand and squeezed it gently, "I care about you Rebecca but I'm not about to ruin yours or my life, I took to heart what you said and I must agree we have separate lives now and I just had a fleeting moment," Rebecca remained silent, "I have to go, Mark will be home this afternoon, I'll see you Friday," She remarked leaving her standing speechless. Rebecca took the towel that was wrapped around her neck and wiped the bead of sweat that was clinging to her forehead she felt eerily strange a sharp ray of light shot through her head, a memory of something had awaken inside of her she frowned grimacing and rubbing her temples, Lizette echoed through her mind like a broken record.

"Hey, your late for dinner, I didn't think you were coming," Tristan asserted, "I'm sorry, I had a hard workout this morning and I'm a little sore and tired," She replied sitting next to him, "I have the quarterly reports ready for both of your reviews," Elisabeth added they discussed Lahnstein business over dinner, Tristan and Rebecca retired to the great room for drinks, "Marlene tough on you huh?" He questioned teasing her. "No actually her friend Grace gave me my workout today," She sarcastically answered him, "Grace, I don't believe I've met her," He poured each of them a whiskey, "Thank you," He handed it to her sitting back down, "Marlene decided she couldn't work with you after all?" His questioning abrupt, "I think she had hospital business," She was non committal in her response, there was silence, "Have you had a chance to talk to Marlene?" He probed pouring another drink, "Some, its been awkward at times," She cleared her throat, "I know seeing her again must be hard, your greatest love," Tristan remarked trying not to think of Lizette, "I love Lizette Tristan, I wish you could see it for what it is," She became mildly defensive, He sighed shaking his head, "I know you don't want to hear this but something's not right with her, she difficult and rude," He quipped but didn't share his suspicions about her, "I had sort of a flash back today," She changed the subject he peeked up, "Remember anything?" He asked with hope in his heart, "I just hear Lizette's name echoing through my mind, I don't know, " She meandered as she thought, "Hmmm, maybe soon you'll remember and we can put this horrible accident behind all of us, I will be bringing Ann and the girls for a visit next week," His tone had changed, Rebecca grinned. "Great," Tristan sighed, "Is everything else alright? You seem preoccupied," He mentioned casually.

Rebecca looked to her brother, "You've been my confidant, my light in all this darkness and you never left my side, I get angry and frustrated when I can't remember," He interjected, "I love you, you're my sister and I couldn't leave you, I think about how badly I treated you and when you lost Marlene and I did the unthinkable," He stopped, groaning loudly, "It just happened, I'm over it, but," She stopped talking briefly, "But what?" He eyed her, "I'm not sure I ever really got over her," Her, stare and words perplexing to him, "What do you mean? Has the time you've spent with her triggered, something?" He asked, her words gaining his complete attention she quickly looked away, "What's the matter? Did something happen, out with it Rebecca," He implored abruptly, "Its nothing," She wrinkled her forehead her heart raced thinking of their sexual encounter, "Rebecca I know you, something's up," He touched her arm shaking it a bit, "I, I slept with her," She blurted it out, Tristan looked around the room holding his breath, "You what? She's married, what about Lizette?" He stared in disbelief. "She showed up late the other night, we began to talk but she wasn't there to talk she wanted more," Rebecca voiced with guilt, "One thing led to another and we wound up in my bed," She rehearsed. "My little sister," Tristan goaded, "Its not funny this is serious Tristan, I cheated on Lizette and Marlene on Mark, we did something we shouldn't have," She sighed loudly and became cross, "Well Lizette is no better, bitch," He grumbled under his breath. "Tristan, stop being an asshole, Lizette is innocent in this," She argued, "Lizette is never innocent Rebecca," He resounded guzzling the rest of his drink. Rebecca got up, "If you will excuse me, I'm exhausted and need a shower," She left him to ponder what she had shared with him.

Lizette rolled over and raised up staring out the French doors that looked over the shoreline she stretched and ruffled her pillow causing the man laying her bed to groan and wriggle she climbed from the bed slipping on his dress shirt and walking to the door, "Lizette, come back to bed its early," He snapped she turned back to him, "I'm going to shower and pack Francisco," She chuckled his tall lean frame jumped from the bed grasping her in his arms, "Rebecca expects me back, I can't stay another day," She commented, "Besides you have to be back in Spain," He sighed kissing her. His light brown eyes staring into hers he fingered his finely trimmed mustache, "When are you going to tell Rebecca about us," He asked, "Francisco, I'm not ready, she's been through a lot and she doesn't need any stress or disappointments right now and I still love her, Francisco, what we have is magical and completely erotic why ruin it if we're constantly with each other," She slipped out of his shirt and turned on the shower, "Join me?" She questioned he grinned sheepishly following her into the steamy enclosure of the shower.

Mark and Marlene lay across the bed, "I missed you," He spoke twisting a lock of her hair in his finger, "And I you," she grinned and then kissed him, "I could," He began, "We have plenty of time for that, I'm thankful your home safely," She answered rolling on to her side, "It was a long week, lots to do and I learned a lot," He added, "Your so gifted Mark is there anything you can't do?" She giggled he started tickling her they laughed he rolled on top of her, "I want to make love to you," He stated seriously, "Now?" She seemed apprehensive, "Marlene, what's wrong did I say something," She hushed him, "Grace and David," She started to say, "Grace and David are upstairs making their on golden memories, we should be making a baby," He arched his brow unbuttoning her shirt she grabbed his hand raising up, "Mark," He placed his lips to hers, she felt a coldness to his touch she didn't want to discuss having a baby the idea that she may already be pregnant was hard to think about much less telling him, "Are you feeling ok?" He asked taking his shirt off and dropping it to the floor, "Uh huh," She lay on her side away from him, "I've been gone a week don't you want to make love?" He begged tracing the side of her arm with his finger, "I do, not right now," She was adamant. "Your moody was work that rough this morning? Most wives are glad to see their husbands after they've been gone awhile," He clutched her by the shoulder pulling her closer she drew herself from the bed not saying a word she entered the bathroom stripping down and putting on the robe that hung on the back of the bathroom door. Marlene peered out to see Mark laying there she quickly opened the medicine cabinet and pulled the package of birth control pills from the shelf she took one and then thought, "What if I am really pregnant," She stuffed the pills back behind some medicine bottles and opened the door.

Mark turned his head towards the creaking sound of the door opening he whistled at the bare leg that stuck out from behind it she flinched a little walking out and dropping the robe as she got to the bed. "I did miss you," She whispered he stared at her erect nipples clutching her breasts in his hands as she crawled in next to him He traced her neck with his tongue she tightened up and thought of Rebecca, her touch the way she kissed the passion they shared she closed her eyes tightly going through the motions hoping Mark wouldn't notice a change in her they made love. "I love you Marlene," He spoke exhausted from his efforts, "I love you too," She turned back on her side again pulling the covers up over her naked flesh she felt cold and unworthy of his touch his feelings. Marlene groaned under her breath thinking of the wonderful man who lay beside her. The secrets she managed to keep hidden from him but all she could do was lie there and think of Rebecca her smile her charm and how in love she still really was with her. "Do you know what my schedule is like Monday?" He asked in an odd way, "I don't, I don't think you have any surgeries next week," She calmly answered still in a daze over Rebecca. "We should see an OB GYN don't you think?" His question surprised her but also terrified her in a way. "I really don't think that's necessary, give it some time," She begged, he sighed loudly, "Yeah we shouldn't be in a rush, if it happens," He stopped talking relieving her she stayed mum about the fact she may already be pregnant.

They joined David and Grace for dinner, "I was thinking about a walk along the Rhine, it's a beautiful this evening," Grace remarked towel drying the last dish, "You and I?" She motioned to Marlene, "Sure," They grabbed their sweaters leaving David & Mark to talk business, "You were awfully quiet this evening," She began locking her arm in Marlene's, "Mark wanted to talk about having a baby, home for one evening and discussing an OB GYN," She answered frantically, "Calm down, what did you say?" Marlene stopped leaning over the rail and staring at the rushing water, "I told him it wasn't necessary that we should just give it some time," She replied, "So you didn't tell him that you might already be?" She quickly mentioned, "No and I want to be sure, I just haven't had the guts to get a pregnancy test to see," She voiced crossing her arms, "What if you are?" Grace cautiously inquired, "I don't know it's a lot to absorb and," She looked at Grace, "I need to tell him about Rebecca, I can't have this secret hanging over me like a black cloud," Grace embraced her, "I know your afraid, afraid of what he might think but I know Mark he may be disappointed but the truth would be in your best interest," Her look serious as she spoke, "I have something to say please listen," Grace clutched the top of her arm continuing, "I guess I can't stop you," Marlene was hesitant as she asked, "I think you haven't told him about Rebecca because your still very much in love with her," Marlene cut her a look of shock.


	12. Chapter XII

**CHAPTER XII.**

 **Caught in the crossfire**

Marlene remained silent listening to Grace's revelations, "Please tell me that you know this," Marlene groaned, "I don't know what you want me to say," She felt awful inside the hurt she was causing to the people around her, "Tell me the truth, that's all I'm asking, you can't go on like this Marlene," Marlene began to weep. "I've never nor will I ever love anyone the way I love her, I just don't know how much more heartbreak I can take, I love her Grace but there's nothing I can do about it, our lives have changed and," Grace stopped her, "Do you want to make a life with Mark? Have a child? Live this fantasy dream?" She asked rationally, "I don't want to hurt him, I can make all kinds of excuses for my behavior but deep down I'll always be thinking of her, what we had, what we could've had if I only pushed for it," She answered pressing her hand to her forehead, "I know when I talked to Rebecca, I asked her how she felt about you," She stuttered briefly, Marlene shifted her eyes to hers, "And?" She clinched her jaw tightly waiting for her response, "You were her greatest love or at least that's how she said it, she hurt you badly and there wasn't another chance for you two, she knows now that she had to let you go, the pain it brought to you both but she realizes that moving on and starting a new life was for the best," Marlene nodded in affirmation for what she said. "Did she say she still had feelings for me?" Grace smiled, "She didn't have too, she can tell me any lie she wants but the truth of the matter is she's still in love with you too, I know there's Lizette and she says she's her future but she didn't convince me," They began to walk again.

"Are you angry with me?" Marlene asked kindly and with sincerity, Grace giggled trying to ease the tension, "We all have secrets or things we wish we could keep hidden, I feel for Mark and that's what's so hard about all of this, you've married someone you say you love and want to make a life with he's clueless and will become hurt when he finds out," Marlene stopped walking, "I can't hurt him, I need to tell him about my life before I came to New Haven, I just can't walk away Grace," She implored loudly, "And you can't live a lie either," She reminded her, "You love Mark but not the way you love her," Marlene sighed, "I never wanted to return here, it hurt to see her, to want her, to be jealous of the woman who holds her heart now," She pleaded realistically. Grace began to think hard, "The other night when you went out for a walk, where did you go?" She moved closer to her gazing at her with a look of determination. Marlene could only stare before speaking, "I really don't want to talk about it Grace," She left the door open with her words, "You went to her didn't you?" She grasped her keeping her still, "I did, I had to clear the air, I had to make sure that what I felt was or wasn't reciprocated," She answered lowering her head, "You slept with her?" Grace cornered her shaking her mildly, "I don't think I need to answer that," She remarked pushing her hands into the pockets of her blue jeans. Grace sighed, "You have to tell Mark Marlene, everything, he needs to know," She had a tear in her eye, Marlene looked at her strangely, "Grace, I love her but I can't hurt Mark," She began to feel uneasy.

"We should get back the guys will start to wonder where we are," She clutched Grace by the elbow they turned around and headed back to the apartment, "Not a word Grace," Marlene reminded her as they began to enter the door. "Hey, how was your walk?" David ask laying the magazine he was looking through back down, "Good, good," Grace seemed distant to him, "Where's Mark?" Marlene questioned, "Shower," Grace motioned for David to head upstairs with her, "Goodnight," She offered going into the bedroom she took off her sweater and sat on the bed lowering her face into her hands and breathed in deeply. "Oh I didn't here you come in," Mark walked into the bedroom with a towel wrapped around himself, "Hey, I just came in from our walk and I was going to shower and ready for bed," She worded he slipped the towel off exposing his nude body he ran the towel through his hair drying it, "Hurry and shower," He grabbed her around the waist and teased her with his kisses she pulled away and walked into the bathroom and showered, "Come to bed," Mark patted the top of the mattress with his hand she climbed in next to him, "I just want to hold you, I missed you and it was lonely in Zurich," He started, "I want to hear all about it but I'm tired and have an early morning, get some sleep you must be tired also," She rolled over facing him, they kissed she closed her eyes and dreamt of Rebecca.

"Good morning your up early," David whistled with a smile, "Coffee?" He was filling the water into the coffee pot, "Yes, thank you," Marlene answered, "Grace sleeping in?" She further inquired, "Yes we are going in to Köln today and shop, view the sights, what's up with you?" He grunted mildly, "Dr. Kessler has asked me to start therapy on a young boy who broke his arm and needs some therapy he took the cast off yesterday and he's asked that I give it a look this morning," David poured her a cup, Mark yawning walked from the bedroom, "Marlene's working this morning, care to join us in Köln for some sight seeing?" He smiled opening the paper, "Thanks but I need to go to the hospital and review some files, get caught up," He answered, David poured Grace a cup and headed up stairs, "Enjoy your day," Marlene quickly finished her coffee not saying much, "Are you riding with me?" She asked him plainly, "Let me get my jacket," He winced they left for the hospital, Mark entered his office and rifled through the files that lay piled on his desk, "Dr. Blair," The door opened, "Yes," He spoke to the receptionist, "A Mrs. Von Lahnstein is here to see you, "Please show her in," He stood up from his desk greeting her and offering her a seat, "Mrs. Von Lahnstein, it's a pleasure to see you again," He quipped, "Thank you for seeing me on such short notice and on a Saturday morning," Her smile charming to him, "Is everything alright with Rebecca?" She grinned, "Actually she's fine, appears to be taking the therapy well but I'm here in gratitude for what you've done for her, I'd like to know if you and your guests could join us for dinner at the castle tomorrow night as a celebration for your successes," Mark straightened up clearing his throat, "I would love to, let me touch base with Marlene, we don't have plans for tomorrow evening and our friends are out sightseeing today, can I have Marlene call you?" He further asked, "Certainly," She stood up shaking his hand.

"Where do you think your going?" Rebecca barked rolling over and stretching, as Lizette got dressed, "I told you I leave for Berlin today or did you forget?" She asked placing her hands on her hips, Rebecca squinted her eyes, "Do you have to, I mean you've been gone a week and we need some much needed time together," She begged, "Stop pouting Rebecca," Lizette sat down on the bed next to her, "Come back to bed," She teased placing her fingers on the top button of her shirt, "I can't," She stood up and entered the bathroom her cell phone lie on the night stand her text chimed, "Lizette," Rebecca called out she didn't answer she picked up her phone looking at the message that was posted on the screen, "When do you arrive?" It said she looked at the name, Francisco," She thought of the name and it was familiar to her she just couldn't remember she closed her eyes and strained herself but the connection just couldn't be made, "Lizette," She called out again, "Yes Rebecca," She walked out brushing her hair, "Your text," She handed her the phone, "Who is Francisco?" She questioned knowing she had asked her about him before, "He's the photographer that is used on many of the shoots I'm on, why?" She furrowed her brow. "He's text before and why should he be concerned when you arrive? You've always been prompt," Lizette swallowed hard and attempted a grin, "Don't tell me your jealous," She picked, "Should I be?" Her answer harsh, "I love you baby, Francisco means nothing to me," She bent down kissing her lips, "I have to pack," She giggled, "When will you be home?" Lizette began to pull her clothes from the closet, "Monday afternoon, we do a shoot tomorrow after brunch with the client, Monday I meet with a new agency about some work in Lisbon," She remarked neatly folding her clothing.

Rebecca sighed deeply, "I guess I can't stop you," Lizette moved towards Rebecca, "You know how work is and I have to make it while I can," She placed her hand to the side of Rebecca's face caressing it, "You, if anyone knows about devotion and dedication to their work Rebecca," She crossed her arms giving her a stare. She sighed, "I know, I'm just disappointed that's all, I was hoping for more time with you, we haven't had much lately and I miss you," She lightly complained, "I know baby but I'll be back Monday and we will have a few days," She promised, "I've got to go my cab will be here shortly," She closed her suitcase and kissed Rebecca again, "I love you," Rebecca laid back in the bed as she watched her leave out. Rebecca closed her eyes falling back to sleep she began to dream, this time about Marlene and their affair she abruptly woke scrambling for her phone she text her asking if she could come to the castle. Rebecca shower and dressed and awaited her arrival. "Marlene thank you for coming," She entered the orangery and took a seat on the sofa, "Are you alright?" She questioned surprised by the call from her, "I wanted you to know that I decided not to tell Lizette about our affair at this time," She began, "I couldn't let you worry about what you think she might do or say, I thought hard about it and I have to agree with you but eventually you will need to tell Mark the truth," Rebecca grasped her by the hand, "I know I don't need to tell you how infidelity hurts and when you lie for weeks or months about it you not only hurt yourself but the person who means the most to you, I will tell Lizette because it's the right thing to do but not while you're here," She stated with a sad expression on her face.

Marlene stood up and paced, "I can't believe I let this happen," She looked at Rebecca, "That I put you in this situation," She continued wiping a tear from her eye, "I have to ask what your motive was, I mean, why?" Marlene cleared her throat and rejoined her on the sofa, "I love my husband and lying to him is not something I wanted to do, ten years was a long time not seeing you, I was happy, found a career and never really wanted to come back here," Rebecca gazed into her eyes, "I thought when he took your case and insisted that I would be good for you that I could handle it, our lives have changed, you said it yourself," She grimaced and groaned before continuing, "But the only thing I could think about was what I missed with you," She stuttered continuing, "I was jealous of Lizette, your life with her, it was mine once but I just couldn't see past your actions and our unhappiness, I guess you could say I was selfish and needed to find myself," Rebecca stopped her, "You may not know it but you did need to find yourself it would've been selfish of me to beg you to stay in a place where things just weren't right, I look back and I think of how I treated you and how I let my family and the business overtake me, I beat myself up over it for a long time until I realized that you would find your way and be happy," She touched Marlene's face with her hand, "Mark is a lucky man and I wish I could tell him that, I wish I could tell him how witty and smart and talented you are, if I could only share with him what we had," Marlene chuckled, "He's knows what kind of person I am, he loves me and treats me like a queen," Rebecca's look became somber, "Then why are you here? I know I called you and asked you to talk but," The tips of Marlene's fingers found their way to Rebecca's lips, "Please Rebecca," She softly spoke.

"What is it that you want from me Marlene?" Rebecca questioned calmly, "Isn't it obvious," She replied in a whispered, they stared momentarily their faces moving closer until their lips touched softly they kissed, Rebecca's tongue parted Marlene's lips in a passionate kiss they moaned and groaned as they began kissing wildly and out of control, "I want you," Marlene spoke her lips brushing against Rebecca's she pulled back, "I can't," She stood up and turned away from Marlene, "Rebecca," She stood up walking up behind her and turned her around to face her, "Do you know how you make me feel?" She asked trying to ease Rebecca's angst, "I, I know how I used to make you feel but now," Marlene stopped her from talking by placing her lips against hers with erotic force she began to undress her, Rebecca tightened her muscles trying to stave off her advances, "Please stop Marlene," Her breathing shallow as she panted. Marlene's lips caressed and kissed Rebecca's neck she could feel the tiny beads of sweat raise up on her skin, as she tasted its sweetness, "I've missed you so much," She uttered gently taking her breasts in her hands and slowly massaging them. Rebecca's heart raced with wild desire she clutched Marlene by the back of her head and drew her in to her the tip of her tongue traced Marlene's lips. Rebecca undressed Marlene gazing lustfully at her nude flesh she wrapped her hands around her waist and then led her to bed. Rebecca lay, on top of her their fleshes fused in the heat of passionate sex hands and fingers meandered over each other with guided desires, Marlene's tongue traveled slowly and methodically down to Rebecca's awaiting mound she slid her tongue deep inside of her causing and explosion of orgasms to streak through her like fire, she twitched and jerked, moaning in ecstasy she quickly rolled Marlene over her fingers piercing to the touch she stroked her vibrantly her mouth meeting Marlene's void with shear force until she climaxed uncontrollably.

The rays of sun shown through the window causing patterns to form across the naked bodies of two women wrapped tightly in each other's arms. Marlene took her finger and traced the bridge of Rebecca's nose, "What are we doing here?" Rebecca proposed the question to Marlene, "What do you mean?" She questioned quietly, "Is this an out for you?" Rebecca further inquired, "I don't know what this is, really," She became sullen, "You say you love your husband but yet your in my bed," Marlene raised up rubbing her face, "I should get dressed and go Mark must be wondering where I'm at," She began to climb from the bed, "Not so fast," Rebecca clutched her by the hand, Marlene fell back beside her they kissed tongues entwined in a lost moment, "I have to go," She suddenly pulled herself from Rebecca's grasp, "Marlene, please," She quickly buttoned her shirt not answering her, "I have a lot to think about Rebecca," Rebecca stood up and put on her robe, "Is this about sex for you?" She broached the subject again, "I have to go," She grabbed her purse escaping out the door leaving Rebecca in a tender yet uncertain moment. Rebecca laid back covering herself up she felt a twinge in her leg and some stiffness she quickly text Marlene complaining of the symptoms she tossed her phone back down to the bed and sighed loudly her thoughts on Lizette and how she once again had hurt her.

"Marlene," Elisabeth called to her as she was about to exit the front door, "Is Rebecca alright you're here early," She looked to Elisabeth and hesitated briefly, "Oh, I" Her text chimed she quickly retrieved it, "Actually that's Rebecca again, some stiffness, I should make sure she's alright," She stuttered, Elisabeth looked at her strangely, "I wanted to talk to you if you have a moment?" She asked, Marlene grinned tightening her lips, "Yes," She moved closer to her, "I've spoken to Mark this morning and asked him to have dinner here tomorrow night, you and your guests, he told me he would ask you but since you're here, well," Marlene remained silent and looked to see if she had a call or text from him, "He hasn't asked me yet but I think we can besides Grace's husband David hasn't seen the castle, so yes it's a date," She replied heading back down the hall, "Marlene," Elisabeth stopped her, "Six?" She nodded in affirmation.


	13. Chapter 13

**CHAPTER X111.**

 **Little lies**

Marlene tapped on the door to the orangery and quickly text Mark of her whereabouts, Rebecca clad only in a robe hobbled to the door and opened it with a stare, Marlene rushed in closing the door. "What happened? Let me see she led her to the bedroom and asked her to stretch out across the bed, "When you left, I must have jerked it," She rubbed her hand down the side of her leg, Marlene turned it slightly, "Are you feeling pain?" She further questioned not looking in her eyes, "Just a little," She pursed her lips gazing at the outline of Marlene's face, "You are as beautiful as I remember, age hasn't hastened you in the least," She noted quietly, "Rebecca is your leg really hurting?" Marlene felt as though she were playing a game with her, "When you make the kind of passionate love we just did how can it not be," She answered firmly. Marlene groaned, "I have to go," She started to walk out of the bedroom, Rebecca stood up and grasped her by the hand she pulled her in closer to her, "Kiss me," She ordered her hands now locked around her backside, "You make it so difficult to deny you," She attempted a grin, "Then don't," Their lips met again Rebecca grabbed her bottom lip in between her teeth and nibbled. Marlene untied the sash on Rebecca's robe and dropped it to the floor. "Make love to me," Marlene obliged stripping and lying in bed with her they made love, "You say you love Lizette and, she's your future yet I'm back in your bed," Rebecca rose up on her elbow and gave her look of discontent.

"You are where you should be right now," She explained, Marlene giggled, "I've missed this and you so much," Marlene added as she rested her head against Rebecca's chest, "You never were very far from my mind, I want you to know I often thought of you, what you were doing, were you really happy, I wasn't, I drifted a lot," Marlene listened as she caressed Rebecca's arm with the tips of her fingers, "You did meet other people and have relationships didn't you?" Rebecca took in a deep breath, "I told you, I thought I was pregnant once and that the man I was involved with, Tim asked me to marry but my personal life was still in a shambles, work was even more frantic and the pressures of my family still weighed heavily on me, I ended that relationship when I found out he was only after my money, he was fun to be with at first but dealing with his jealousy and then his other bad habits, well," Marlene softly kissed her, "I wasn't interested in anyone, I kept myself busy, Grace was my guiding light and helped me through a lot," She reminisced, "She seems like a true friend, how lucky you are," Rebecca spoke positively, "She introduced me to Mark and he swept me off my feet," Rebecca looked to her with a frown, "You must really love him," She mentioned sitting up placing her face in her hands, "I do love him," She implored, "But the way I love him is not like," Rebecca quickly interjected, "Please you don't have to make excuses, I know you love him, does he know how lucky he is?" She asked boldly, "He does," She pulled Rebecca back down close to her. "Pleas let me finish what I was going to say," Marlene grunted softly, "I do love him but nothing that compares to what we had, I've never loved anyone the way I loved you," She stated awaiting Rebecca's response.

"I'll always remember that time it was so special and I've never been in love that way, "I'm sorry for the heartaches I caused you, that scarred me Marlene, I've said it before and I believe it to be true," She paused in reflection, "I can't make you happy," There was quietness and sadness between the two of them, "I wasn't asking for you to make me happy, I think you've changed, I think the accident you had changed you significantly and I wish that I could help you to remember those missing pieces," She worded firmly, Rebecca's text chimed with a message from Lizette. "Lizette I assume?" Rebecca nodded, "She got to Berlin ok," She sat the phone back down after responding, "You really love her don't you?" Marlene pitched waiting for the fallout, "I do, I'm in love with her," She pronounced, "Then I guess we are back to the question as to why I'm here," Marlene professed, "The sex is good and as you can see I'm lonely, Lizette is always gone," Rebecca honestly spoke, " You know that's just an excuse but its hurting the two people we love and have made a life with," Marlene beg to differ, "Your free to go anytime Marlene," Rebecca sat back up in bed, Marlene got up and dressed, "I need to go home, I'm sure my guests are back from their sightseeing and Elisabeth invited us for dinner tomorrow night," She relayed buttoning her shirt. "Oh, Mark or Grace's husband have not visited here yet," Rebecca, remarked. "Before, I leave how's your leg?" Rebecca lowered her head, "It's fine, getting better every time we have a session, I think the surgery did wonders for me and I feel better than I have in a long time," She rehearsed, Marlene smiled widely, "Good, I'll see you tomorrow," She answered leaving Rebecca.

Marlene quietly entered the apartment to find everyone sitting around the living room conversing over wine, Grace gave her a look of concern, "Join us," David reached for the bottle of wine and poured her a glass, "Thank you," She sat next to Mark, "Rebecca alright?" Marlene cleared her throat shifting an eye to Grace, "Just some stiffness, nothing a little workout didn't relieve, yeah, so," She took a swig of wine, "Elisabeth Von Lahnstein visited me this morning and asked about dinner tomorrow evening at the castle," Mark began, "Yes I met with Elisabeth and she asked that we be there for six," She added, "Are all in agreement?" Marlene voiced, "It'll be fun, different, I've never been in a castle," David laughed lightly, "Six. I'll call Elisabeth and let her know," Marlene excused herself, Mark looked directly at Grace, "Marlene's been off lately, what's up?" He probed, David looked at him strangely, "I, I don't know she hasn't said anything," Grace answered covering up for her, "Hmmm," He stood up, "She's not very keen on having a baby, she argumentative, distracted, I don't know, something's bothering her and I can't put my finger on it," He voiced as she re entered the room. "Marlene, why don't we pick up some take out form that Chinese restaurant," She stood up grabbing her purse and clutching Marlene by the arm they raced out of the apartment, "Grace what is it?" Marlene asked opening the front door and walking out on the sidewalk, "Where were you?" She asked knowing the answer. "With Rebecca she was hurting," Grace rolled her eyes. "Mark is becoming suspicious, Marlene," Her tone curt, "What, about where I was?" She asked as they got in the car. "He says you're distracted, he talked about having a baby and he thinks something's up," She replied.

Marlene pulled the car up next to the Chinese restaurant, "So you were with Rebecca?" Grace asked not getting out of the car, "Yes, I told you she had a problem with some stiffness," She tried to be convincing, "And I know better," She responded, Marlene shook her head, "I guess its obvious," She squeezed the steering wheel tightly, "Marlene you are not being fair to Mark, imagine if this was an old fling and he was away from you lying, how would you feel?" She became exasperated, "I can't hurt him now Grace," She voiced with irritation, "You've already hurt him worse than even you can imagine," Marlene became somber, "Marlene I need to ask you something very important," She sighed running her fingers through her hair and getting a grip before speaking, "Is what you feel for her what you felt before?" Marlene loosened her hands from the steering wheel, "Its difficult, I know that when I'm with her its right but she loves Lizette and not me and I do love Mark," She answered her tone pensive, "You can't continue sleeping with her, someone will be hurt badly and it can't end very well," She surmised, "I love Mark, he's given me so much and has done a lot to get me where I am and I'm grateful," She wept as she spoke realistically, "You have to decide, David and I will be leaving at the end of the week and I'm afraid to leave you, I worry and wonder if I should stay," Grace clutched her in an embrace, "You should prepare for the worst, I'm sorry if those words seem harsh but for god sakes you can't keep this up," She ordered, "We should get the take out," Marlene quickly got out of the car, "Dammit Marlene!" She exclaimed following her in, "I don't want to discuss it right now, please," She winced under her breath.

The drive home and dinner was very quiet, "I believe I'll turn in early," Grace announced, David followed, "Well it looks like we're alone," They sat on the sofa to talk, "Have you thought any about the conversation we had about seeing a Doctor?" Mark questioned calmly, "I haven't, I've been busy," She smirked, "I know Rebecca occupies a lot of your time," She could feel the hair rise up on the back of her neck as she listened to him speak, "Mark I have other patients as well," She remarked rudely he looked at her with a tense gaze, "I didn't mean you were spending all of your time with her, I'm aware of your other patients," He stammered. "I don't want to discuss work if you don't mind I'm tired and ready for bed," She stood and walked into the bedroom stepping into the shower she thought of dinner at the castle her tryst with Rebecca earlier she closed her eyes in a fantasy about they're love making the intensity she missed she felt insane with bliss but was suddenly brought back to reality by the touch of Mark's hand on her back she quickly turned to him his nude body resting against hers he kissed her as if he were in a frantic state the droplets of hot water covered them not a word was spoken as they had sex in the shower and then to the bed for a night of love making. Mark rolled over and grasped Marlene around her bare waist she groaned and mumbled, "Its early," He kissed her neck and arose dressing leaving her in the room alone she turned over a tear rolled down her face she could only think of Rebecca the sex with Mark weighed heavily on her, "What a mess my life is in," She uttered and then fetched her cell phone texting her sister Dana. "I know its early, I really want to see you soon, please," She briefly thought of the message she had typed and then sent it she knew Dana would know something was up.

Marlene dressed and walked into the kitchen to the smell of eggs cooking the enticement of coffee waffled through the air, "Good morning everyone," She looked to her cell phone awaiting a text back, Mark handed her a cup she sipped it, "I need to take this," Her cell began to ring, "Hey, how's going?" Dana spoke eager to talk to her sister, "Good," She looked around and stepped outside the door, "Marlene you don't sound good, what's up?" She sighed leaning against the wall, "My life's a mess and I just need to talk," She complained, "Can you come to Hannover, Hagen is in Baltimore and I can't get away," She confirmed, "I can change my schedule up and fly out tomorrow, I'll call you back with a time," She hung up, "Is everything alright?" He questioned as she walked back in, "Dana, my sister, I need to make a quick trip to Hannover tomorrow and will return the next evening," She answered looking at Grace, "I hope things are alright with your sister," She worded with concern, "Just a minor problem and Hagen is out of the country, I'm sorry but this is sudden and she needs me," Marlene was convincing. They sat down to breakfast and then relaxed in the living room, "What should we wear to our dinner date a suit?" Mark questioned teasing Marlene, "Yes something nice," Grace helped Marlene with the dishes, "I'm not much on fashion," She approached Marlene, "Just a casual dress will be fine Grace," She mentioned, "Can we talk?" Marlene looked at her rolling her eyes and pointed to the bedroom, "What is it?" She asked abruptly, "Does your sister really need you or is this a ploy?" Her questioning harsh, "I need some time with my sister, I apologize Grace, I know you leave at the end of the week can you take Rebecca's case tomorrow? I really need to leave early," She begged.

Marlene, Mark, David and Grace arrived to the castle promptly at six. Marlene rang the doorbell, Justus answered, "Marlene," He smiled bowing his head and showing them in, "Please this way to the great room," He cleared his throat, Elisabeth took Marlene by the hand, "Please come in, Tristan stood up from his chair and introduced himself and his wife Ann, Rebecca slowly sipped a glass of wine, "What would you like to drink?" Justus asked, "Tonic and water for me," Marlene replied, the rest enjoyed a glass of wine, "I'd love to see the grounds David chimed in, Grace agreed, Tristan and Ann showed them around, "Rebecca how are you feeling?" Mark asked, "I'm good, Marlene and Grace keep me working out and I wanted to thank you for all you've done for me," She sternly remarked, "I'm glad we could help," He smiled sipping his wine, they sat down to dinner, Rebecca stared at Marlene from across the table, Marlene remained quiet, "So tell me Mark how are you enjoying your stay in Düsseldorf?" Elisabeth asked, "I've enjoyed the work, Dr. Kessler has been a great mentor and I'm glad I'm living in a country where my beautiful wife comes from," He answered wrapping his arm around her. Marlene grimaced, lowered her head and looked back up to Rebecca, "And we are hoping to have our first child here," Elisabeth smiled, "So you are trying to have a child?" Rebecca's mouth gaped open her face turned red, Marlene quickly looked away, "Yes as a matter of fact we've been trying since we've been here, I'd like for our child to be born here if possible," The dinner table became quiet suddenly Rebecca wasn't hungry she laid her fork down and got up from the table, Tristan caught a glimpse of her look. "Rebecca?" Elisabeth called out she didn't look back or answer, Grace motioned for Marlene to check on her.

Mark began to get up, "Let me," Marlene grasped his arm, "What's wrong?" David added in an uncertain question, "She might be hurting," Mark gathered, "I'll go see," She quickly laid her napkin on the table and hurried out to the terrace, "Rebecca," Marlene stopped her from pacing, "Dammit Marlene." She clinched her jaw tightly, "I'm sorry," She looked directly into her eyes, "Why didn't you tell me?" She quizzed angrily, "I never meant to hurt you," She began to pace again, "I can't believe this, I had no idea you and your husband were trying to get pregnant, have a baby right a way," She crossed her arms, "I, I don't know what to say," She was at a loss for words, Grace walked out onto the terrace, "Go back to your husband!" She exclaimed loudly, Grace approached them, Marlene turned around to face her, "Stay out of it Grace, please don't make a scene," She remarked coldly. Rebecca walked passed them as Marlene lowered her head, "What happened?" Grace candidly questioned, "Isn't it obvious?" I mean she had an idea that Mark wanted to have a baby, I never told her, why would I," She groaned. "Let's go back inside you don't want to cause a scene or have suspicions arise," She walked her back inside, Rebecca began to drink heavily, "Please can I talk to you alone?" Marlene hinted under her breath she followed Rebecca into the study, "What else could you surprise me with? Really," Her tone heated, "I didn't think he would bring it up you have to believe me," She implored, Rebecca walked over to the window and stared out, "Marlene what is it that you want from me?" She lowered her shoulders in a shrug and walked up behind her, "Turn around," Rebecca turned to face her, as Tristan stood motionless in the doorway, "I think you know, I'm in love with you," Rebecca's heart melted away at the words she spoke but the stark reality of her marriage to someone else clouded her thoughts.

Rebecca moved closer to her she so desperately wanted to kiss her those past thoughts of their relationship swelled in her mind like a tidal wave, "I can't do this, I just can't," She softly spoke, I'm in love with someone else Marlene," She nearly choked saying it, "I don't believe you," Marlene cried out, "You are with a man who loves you and can make you happy, don't you remember what we went through? How my actions caused heartbreak and despair? You left without even a goodbye, just like that you were gone and you've said it, you never intended to return here, what if you were still in America, would you have even given me a thought?" She uttered and began to weep, "I can't control fate Rebecca and fate has led me here standing in this room with you confessing what I feel in my heart, do you remember the struggles we faced trying to be together? How hard we fought to make a life? I had to leave I couldn't get you off my mind, I've never been in love this way, yes we've hurt the people around us and the situation is what it is but please listen to your heart," Marlene pressed and stood by awaiting an answer.


	14. Chapter 14

**CHAPTER XIV**

 **Tiny daggers**

Tristan cleared his throat gaining Marlene and Rebecca's attention he smiled cautiously, "Our guest are wondering where you two disappeared to," He voiced they both shuddered, Rebecca began to wipe the tears from her face, Tristan handed her a tissue. Marlene walked out leaving Rebecca with Tristan he embraced her she cried loudly, "I guess you heard?" She pulled back looking him in the face, "I did, I'm sorry," He took the tissue from her and wiped her cheek, "You can deny her all you want but sleeping with her only confirms what you feel about her," He advised calmly his tone warm, "I love Lizette Tristan," She insisted, "No you don't Rebecca," He hesitated for a second, "You will never love anyone the way you love Marlene Rebecca," She embraced him, "I can't, I won't it would never work you heard her husband say they were trying to have a child, Marlene didn't deny it either," Tristan closed his grip on her, "Maybe you should turn in for the evening, "I could tell them you weren't feeling well," He voiced taking her chin between his thumb and index finger, "I'm alright," She wiped her face again, "You have to ask yourself if you love her Rebecca, you know she loves you and that's a powerful love, I know it first hand," Tristan led her out the door and by the hand they re entered the great room, Marlene slightly grinned, "I see your feeling better," Elisabeth chimed. "Yes, thank you, I'm sorry," She apologized to everyone they continued conversing, "If you are hurting anywhere, I should know," Mark approached her she looked at him and attempted to smile, "Just some stiffness," She answered.

Marlene walked over to them, "Marlene helped me greatly," Mark turned around to see her, "Oh yes," He kissed her cheek continuing, "Isn't she lovely? You don't know how lucky I am," He pulled her closer, Marlene frowned, Rebecca stared. "Oh I know how lucky you are, your forgetting she was part of our family once and we were very close," Marlene could feel her throat tighten, "Mark its getting late and we should go, I have to catch a flight first thing," Rebecca furrowed her brow, Mark left her to thank Elisabeth for the hospitality, "Are you leaving?" Rebecca secretly clutched her hand, "Dana, Hagen is in Baltimore and now's the time for us to talk, so I'm going overnight for a visit, I'll be back Tuesday evening, Grace will come work with you tomorrow if that's not a problem?" Rebecca lowered her head, "I like her," She took her hand away from hers, "So its not a problem," She forced a grin as she told Marlene. "We should talk when I return, I want you to know," She stopped talking briefly looking around the room, "I love you," She whispered under her breath, "Please don't Marlene," She whispered back, there was a moment of silence, "Good night," She turned and clutched Mark by the arm, "Good night everyone," They left leaving Rebecca stuck in a void, "Want to have a drink?" Tristan offered holding up a glass of warm scotch, Rebecca accepted following him to the study they sat down. "It was quite an evening," Tristan began, "Yes," Rebecca answered in a daze she stared into the glass she was drinking from.

"It must be hard, someone like Marlene walking back through the door after so many years, married a new career her telling you she was still in love with you," Rebecca shifted an eye to him and took a swig of her drink, "I don't know what to say, I never expected her to tell me that she still loved me," Tristan groaned, "Rebecca did you ever really give up hope on her," She thought for a second, "I will always have feelings for her but its been a very long time," She stood up and walked over to the fireplace laying her arm across the mantle, "She was my greatest love, I, I, she's married," She became flustered, "And had she never returned here, I would've been a distant thought," She sat back down, Tristan poured her another drink, "What will you do? I mean she's here and obviously she doesn't love her husband," Rebecca rolled her eyes, "No your wrong, I think she loves him and seeing me was just scary and to be pushed into a corner without his knowing about me," She hesitated, "I think once she settles down and realizes that I love Lizette and my life is with her she'll see that her husband is who she was intended to be with and not me," Tristan grunted, "I think your wrong, she wouldn't have told you that she was in love with you if she didn't mean it Rebecca," Rebecca guzzled the rest of her drink, "It's late and I have therapy in the morning," She slightly grinned, "Ann and I will be leaving early, her mother has the girls and I'm sure she's ready for us to pick them up, we will bring them back here a banking seminar delayed our plans a little," He remarked kissing her on the cheek and leaving her in the study.

Grace entered the castle, Justus escorted her down to the workout room, "Rebecca was a little late finishing breakfast and needed to change she'll be here shortly, may I get you anything?" He asked politely, "No thank you I'll just get things ready and wait for her," She smiled, "Very well," He replied closing the door behind him. Grace looked around at the large room and walked over to the big picture window that looked over the lawn, Königsbrunn was beautiful she thought to herself when she was suddenly startled by the door opening, "I apologize," Rebecca spoke as she walked in and laid her towel across the chair, "Good morning and how do you feel today?" She looked at Grace with some apprehension, "Physically or mentally," Grace quickly bowed her head in a chuckle, "I suppose both," She walked over to her and had her began to stretch her upper body, "Pull up," She order kindly, Rebecca followed her instructions they talked more as she worked out, "Marlene is acting weird," Grace offered, "How do you mean?" She replied not knowing if Grace was aware of what had transpired the night before, "Rebecca, I know its none of my business but I've never seen Marlene in such a state, I've tried very hard to talk to her about her feelings for you," Rebecca stopped stretching she sighed, "I just can't do this with her and I feel shitty about Mark," She crossed her arms in a huff looking away from Grace, "I know you slept with her," She jerked her head back around her brown eyes piercing Grace's, "She told you that?" Grace pursed her lips, "She didn't have to, I confronted her about the night she snuck out and one thing lead to another," Rebecca shook her head, "I can't believe we allowed that to happen and I'm truly sorry we both put the people we love in the crossfire," She stated.

They took a break from the therapy, "When I asked you the other day about her and I told you I thought she was still in love with you, did you believe me?" Grace further broached the subject, "Yes, but I don't love her that way anymore, I love Lizette and I don't want to hurt her anymore, its painful, I should've never allowed these therapy sessions to begin with her, I felt cornered by Mark, I'm so indebted to him for what he's done for me, how could I hurt Marlene by refusing his suggestions?" She relayed picking up the towel and wiping her face the conversation was intense and intrusive, "Marlene needs to tell Mark the truth about you, I don't know if she should hurt him by telling him that she's been sleeping with you," Rebecca felt strange and guilty, "And stop lying to yourself about her it will only complicate matters," She advised. Grace directed Rebecca to the treadmill, "Today we begin a steady walk on a small incline at a slower speed," Rebecca watched her out of the corner of her eye, "Your hurt and angry because Marlene's your best friend and Mark has been a very close friend for a long time and I get that, I do, I never really meant for these chain of events to happen but I've told Marlene that I will tell Lizette the truth when the time is right, I know there's the risk that Lizette will walk out on me but that's something I will have to deal with on my own," She steadily walked as she talked. Grace felt sorry for Rebecca in a lot of ways being pushed into a situation she could have avoided. "Marlene will be hurt by your revelations but its something you will have to make her understand if you want to move on with Lizette," She stopped the treadmill helping her off they sat down drinking a bottle of water before Grace left for the apartment.

Marlene walked up the graveled path to the barn where she and Dana stopped looking around at the farm, "Its so good to see you, its been a long time," She mused as she hugged her sister not wanting to let go of her, "Come in," They walked in the barn and up a flight of stairs to the loft, Marlene looked around gasping, Dana took her overnight bag and placed it in the guest room. "Its beautiful, cozy, comfortable," Dana laughed, "Hagen and I are happy here, the horses, Maxi, dad and Tommy" She laughed, "Both boy's have grown so much," She worded fixing a pot of hot tea, Marlene sunk her tired bones into the warmth of the sofa, "Hagen? He's doing ok?" She questioned taking the cup of tea from her sister. "He's fine how's Düsseldorf?" She asked with curiosity, "My job is wonder, Mark," She hesitated taking a sip of her tea, "Ok, we haven't had a chance to meet him and as soon as Hagen returns from the states we can make a weekend of it and we'd love for you to visit here," She smiled giving Marlene a sense of ease. Dana sat her cup down, "But I somehow think something's troubling you," She brushed the hair away from her sister's face, "Marlene you know we can talk about anything," She reassured her Marlene found it difficult to find the words, "Can we just talk about you right now?" She asked, Dana shared with her all the news that had been going on with her, Hagen and the farm, "Why don't we walk around the farm, I think a walk would be relaxing for you," Dana begged pulling her by the hand she obliged following her down stairs and out to the dirt road that led to the meadow.

"Are things not good with you and Mark?' You seem hesitant to talk much about him," Marlene groaned, "He's wonderful, everything a woman could want and I love him," She answered sliding her hands down in to the pockets of her jeans, "What is it? You wouldn't be here," She murmured they took a seat on a fallen tree, "Why didn't you tell me about Rebecca?" She questioned sternly Dana looked at her sister with a frown, "We didn't think Rebecca would make it, I mean the whole family was devastated," She sighed continuing, "She hung by a thread, Tristan nearly lost his mind over it," Marlene interjected, "He told me," She continued listening, "Anyway she's been through a lot and its been a long road to recovery," She looked to her sister, "Mark operated on her and I've done the therapy," Dana appeared surprised, "Really, why didn't you tell us," Marlene shrugged her shoulders, "Marlene you've been gone for a very long time what you had with her is dead, long since over why would I even bring her up?" She stood up from the tree they had been sitting on, Marlene stared up at her, "I didn't take what happened to her very well and yes had she not made it I would've been devastated," She hung her head, "Working with her is not what you expected," Dana quipped trying to fish the truth from her, "I didn't think it would be a problem but," She clinched her hands together, "Let me guess, old feelings have resurfaced themselves," She concluded, "They have at least for me," Marlene began to weep, "Oh Marlene I'm sorry," She embraced her sister tightly, "Have you talked to Rebecca about what your feeling?" She further inquired, "I have," She stuttered, "But there's Mark and as I'm sure you know, Lizette," An air of melancholy surrounded her. Dana sat back down and impishly grinned, "We all have had our fair share of Lizette but Rebecca has stuck by her, Hagen and Tristan believe she's the cause of that accident Rebecca had, as you know Rebecca took a bad blow to the head and doesn't remember much about that day," Marlene cleared her throat, "Yes we've talked about it some." She was candid.

"Ok so you've told her about your feelings, what did she say?" Dana needled her a little, "That what we had was wonderful but it was long ago and part of her past and that like myself she's moved on and she's in love with Lizette and that I've met a wonderful man who loves me and is devoted to me and that I should be happy with that," Dana shook her head, "So in other words she rejected you," She surmised, "Yeah, she rejected me and as much as it hurt me to hear those words Rebecca is right, had I never returned here she would be a distant memory," Marlene assured her, "I somehow don't think that's totally true, when you left it was to start afresh, a new life and I agree, you found a fantastic career you're a devoted wife but deep down the love you had for her never went away," She remarked her fingers finding their way to a lock of Marlene's hair she pulled it back from her face, "Well being one on one has been difficult if not unbearable," She mentioned under her breath, "Why did you take her case?" Marlene sighed, "Because Mark wanted me to, an ex family member, someone she knew would make the transition much easier and neither of us thought it would be a problem," She answered her tone somber. "But it has become a problem? I assume Mark knows nothing about Rebecca," She implied, "No he doesn't, he only knows about Hagen, I haven't even had the guts to tell him about Tristan, I knew if I did he would push for more and then he would find out about Rebecca and I'm not sure he could've handled it," Dana moaned, "You should've told him from the start, marriages can't be based on a lie Marlene," She mildly argued the point, "I never thought I'd be put in such a position, telling Rebecca about Mark not knowing was hard enough but she understood," She voiced. "Has anything happened with Rebecca?" Dana asked with caution, "Uh, well," She whispered, her throat parched, "Marlene, please answer me," She implored.

"We've slept together," Dana held her breath her mind reeled listening to her sister's truthful revelation, "I thought you said she loves Lizette and wants to be with her?" Marlene felt small and angry, "She does but we were alone and well, one thing led to another and we," She stopped talking, "And how do you feel about it now?" Dana probed, "I wanted her, I wanted it to happen, she didn't at first but I forced myself on her, it made my heart break, literally, I cheated on my husband, something I thought I would never do, I love him Dana, he's all that's good and right in the world and he doesn't even have a clue and he certainly doesn't deserve to know of my infidelity," She spoke as the tears streamed down her face, "Marlene you have to ask yourself if this marriage is right for you, you can't go on hurting this man," She grumble with exasperation, "You think I don't know that, how in the hell do I get myself caught up in these situations? Really!" She exclaimed loudly standing up and pacing, "Because you're in love with Rebecca," Marlene turned to her sister her head bobbed in slow motion, "Everything you felt before is now coming to its fruition, everything you tried to fight is now a lost cause, Mark doesn't deserve your distrust what he does deserve is the truth about Rebecca, you say Rebecca doesn't reciprocate those feelings, maybe you and Mark can work it out," Marlene looked down to the ground, "He wants to have a child, I'm not sure if I do but he's pressuring me Dana," She stood up to face her, "And what are you doing to stop it," She tossed her hands in the air, "I'm taking birth control pills but he doesn't know it and he's getting suspicious and I haven't been regular," She frowned answering her, "So you might be pregnant?" Dana quizzed, "Yes but I haven't taken a pregnancy test," She grasped Marlene by the hand and led her back into the house.

"Your in luck, I keep one just on the outside chance I might get lucky," Marlene could see the discomfort in her sister's face, "I'm sorry, I didn't think about your feelings," She admitted nervously, "Its ok, now go and lets see," Marlene went into the bathroom and took the test she tidy herself up and came out to Dana sitting on the sofa she closed her eyes briefly and let Dana view the results. "Well I know one thing is for sure," She started to talk, Marlene's heart pounded, "Your not pregnant," Marlene dipped her shoulders and took in a deep breath, "Thank god," She stammered. "Marlene this should be a sign, you have to decide who you really love and who you really want to be with," She advised smiling at her, "I told Rebecca that I was in love with her but she wouldn't listen to reason, I can't keep lying to Mark and having a baby now will only make things worse I'm afraid," She spoke candidly, "Then you know what you must do and I want you to know I support what ever decision you make," They hugged and talked throughout the evening.


	15. Chapter 15

**CHAPTER XV**

 **Untimely consequences**

"You look chipper," Grace spoke to a sleepy headed Marlene, "Is that suppose to be a joke?" She asked yawing her fingers tracing the tangles in her hair, "You arrived late last night is everything ok with your sister?" She questioned pouring Marlene a cup, "Yes and I'm sorry, I feel shitty that I left you and David here knowing you'll be leaving the day after tomorrow," She sat down and opened the paper, "Mark must have had surgery early," Marlene spoke looking over the edge of the paper, "He left awhile ago," Grace spoke in hesitation, Marlene laid the paper down, "He barely moved when I got in last night and he said very little when he dressed this morning," She answered, "I don't think he's angry," She interjected continuing, "I think he was respecting the fact that you were tired and needed the rest," Her smiled warmed Marlene's heart, "Still, my life is in a mess not to mention the fact I've lied to and cheated on my husband, yippee," She rigorously argued. "Marlene," Grace began, Marlene cut in, "It's the truth, I feel awful my back is against the wall, Rebecca says she's not in love with me," She preached resting the side of her face on the palm of her hand. "And you haven't told Mark your feelings about anything," Marlene rolled her eyes looking around the room, "David still asleep?" She whispered not thinking he may have heard their conversation. "Yes, I'm about to go wake him we are going to see some other parts of the City today, I feel you need to talk to Rebecca one on one," Marlene smiled, "Thank you Grace," She became serious, "What are best friends for?" She teased quickly kissing her cheek and heading upstairs.

Marlene rolled out the yoga mat in the workout room and waited for Rebecca she heard faint noises from behind the closed door it opened she looked up to see Rebecca and Lizette embraced and sharing a warm kiss, "Good morning," She cleared her throat, "Oh Marlene I didn't realize you were in here," Lizette versed, Marlene fumed quietly. Rebecca grinned, "Bye, see you later this afternoon," She kissed Rebecca again as she pushed her out the door closing it, "I'm sorry, I know your time is precious," Marlene nodded they started the stretching exercises, "About Sunday night," Marlene began clasping Rebecca's hands and pulling up on them, "I should've bit my tongue, I realize I put you on the spot and I'm sorry," She spoke with a tremble in her voice, "You forgot to tell me you and Mark plan to have a child," Rebecca voiced her heart pounding, "I'm not ready to have a child," She continued pulling up on Rebecca's hands, "I wish he would stop pressuring me about it, it embarrassed me," She sneered, "Embarrassing or not you should have told me," Rebecca remarked pulling away from her, "I need a break," She added, Marlene followed her and sat next to her, "What's the point of telling you?" She questioned, "You told me you were in love with me but a very important event that doesn't involve me was or is about to happen in your life," She remarked quietly. Marlene moved her face closer to Rebecca's, "It doesn't change the fact that I love you," Rebecca turned away looking down to the floor. "Please don't," she finally spoke. "We should finish," Rebecca began to get up Marlene grabbed her by the hand turning her back towards her.

"Please don't walk away from me," She had a cold but sad stare Rebecca thought, "I can't Marlene, I just can't do this please understand, I'm happy with the way things are with me and Lizette she makes me happy and I love her, why can't you see that," She wept as she spoke, "Because, I, I know deep down that you could never love anyone but me, don't you remember how hard you fought to make me see that I loved you? That by giving you a chance we would be a good team, did you forget that?" She questioned sternly, "How could I forget," She walked back to the mat, Marlene stepped in fast pace to her she clutched around the waist drawing her close her lips touched hers sweetly kissing her," She slightly pulled back her blue eyes had fire in them, "Are her kisses commanding? Does she hold you the way I do? Is she as intense as I am when you make love to her?" She spoke firmly, "I, I," She gazed into her eyes as she answered and then became quiet, "Rebecca," The door swung open and Lizette entered, Marlene quickly removed her hands form Rebecca's waist, "Excuse me!" Lizette exclaimed in a glare Rebecca interjected, "Stop it Lizette it's part of the exercise," She jerked her head back around to Marlene a look of surprise engulfed them both, "Its not what you think," Marlene echoed. Lizette got between them, "I told you I thought something was up," There was a moment of hesitation from Lizette as she tried desperately to find the words to say to Rebecca, "She can't keep her hands off of you!" Rebecca placed her hand over her mouth.

"Stop it, just stop do you have any idea of what your saying?" Rebecca became angered, "Marlene is my therapist she's trying to help me get back on my feet so that I can feel whole again be able to work, be with you, do the things I used to be able to do," Lizette hung her head, "Get out," Rebecca added, "Rebecca," Marlene cut in, "Hold your temper," Rebecca grimaced ignoring her, "Did you hear me," She clutched Lizette by the arm leading her to the door, "Go back to the orangery and let me finish, I'll be there shortly," She whaled slamming the door and locking it, Marlene could see the storm brewing in Rebecca's eyes, "Rebecca please," She looked away and began to roll up the yoga mat, Rebecca grabbed her pulling her up meeting her face to face, "I'm not sure we can continue and I think it's a good idea that you find me someone else, Düsseldorf must have plenty of therapist," Marlene took her hand and put it on Rebecca's, "If that's what you want," She answered directly peeling Rebecca's hand from her grasp, "I'm sorry this didn't work out but I have to deal with Lizette's suspicions and jealousy and I have to be truthful about who you are," She spoke with agitation, "Rebecca, I beg you not to, you promised me you would wait, I don't trust her and I'm not about to let her toy with my life," She answered in earnest. "Marlene, my back's against a wall, I've lied enough already not to mention cheating on her and more than once, I'm frustrated and angry with myself and chances are she'll pack her bags and walk out just like you did without another chance, I can't bear hurting her and I can't take the heartbreak," She voiced strongly.

"Telling her will cause her to walk out Rebecca, didn't you just say that?" Rebecca looked away, "Look at me," Marlene tightened her grip on her, "I don't know what else to do, I can't keep this up Marlene," She loosened her grip sighing, "I know right now for you this difficult as it is for me, I've lied and cheated on my husband and I am as guilty as you are but I love you and I'm not sorry, not one bit, I was wrong, wrong for ever letting you go, how many times must I say it? How many times must you hear it?" Rebecca wept at her words, "I think we would be better parted, I don't want to see you anymore all this turmoil has caused a shit storm in my life, you left, Tim was a joke, Lizette is jealous and on edge, my head pounds constantly with anger and frustration," She bowed her head and shook it sniffing and wiping her face, "Rebecca I will leave but not because I want to or you want me to but because I don't want to cause you anymore strife, I love you and I will say it over and over until you realize that no one will ever love you the way I do," She finished rolling up the mat and quietly left. Rebecca sat down her breath short a streak of redness crossed her face, "My god," She whispered with a heavy heart, "How do I get myself in these situations," She grabbed the side of her leg the tightness in her muscle caught her attention she grimaced stretching it, it was now time to face Lizette. Rebecca composed herself looking around the work out room and getting control of her emotions she stepped out nearly bumping into Elisabeth. "Elisabeth, you startled me," she clutched Rebecca by the shoulder, "I saw Marlene leaving hastily and I was wondering if you were ok," She looked into a face of discontent, "No I'm not alright," She burst into tears, Elisabeth helped her up to the study and poured her a drink, "Rebecca, what happened?" Elisabeth questioned.

"My life is not where it should be, I can't stand for long periods, I ache and I'm totally at the mercy of everyone around me, I get confused when I have dreams and I can't determine their meaning, my girlfriend is jealous and a pout, I can't work with Marlene anymore because she's in love with me," Elisabeth raised her hand, "What did you just say?" She felt strange but happy about the words that Rebecca had, spoken, "Which part?" She moaned taking in a deep breath, "Marlene? In love with you?" She eyed her, "Yes she's made it clear that she loves me," Elisabeth took a swig of her drink, "And what was your response?" She inconspicuously fished for the answer, "I, I told her that I did love her, once but she was my past and all that was left for me were memories, nothing more," She stared at Elisabeth, "So you don't love her?" Rebecca turned away, "I do, I love her so much it hurts but she's married and I still love Lizette the idea of her having a child with the man who's turned my life around, I can't Elisabeth, I can't go through anymore heartaches with her, she lied to me about having a baby," Elisabeth squinted her eyes in thought, "I'm not sure I understand, she shared with you during her sessions that she wanted a child? I mean you just told me she loves you and at dinner the other night she didn't deny it when Mark brought it up," Elisabeth walked over to her and turned her around by her shoulders, "There's more to this that you aren't telling me," Rebecca refused to look up at her, "Rebecca," Her tone relevant, "We slept together," Rebecca answered, swallowing hard her eyes swollen from crying. Elisabeth lowered her shoulders, "I told her I can't work with her anymore that I should have a new therapist," She walked over to the window and looked out.

Elisabeth crept up behind her she touched the top of her shoulder softly, "Love knows no boundaries or time, its infinite in its wisdom it knows when two people are meant to be together it doesn't lessen in the darkness and it thrives in our souls don't forget how hard you fought to be together the sacrifices you made, she made, are you forgetting how she stood behind you when Tristan detested you? When you couldn't make up your mind about LCL? She was jobless with no career but she doted on you," Rebecca turned to face her, "And I treated her like shit, I didn't care, I was often rude, self centered and career driven, I had an affair, who does that? Who cheats on the person they love and then lies for weeks?" Elisabeth cleared her throat, "I know it must be hard all these long years of the what ifs, I have to ask you, was she ever far from you thoughts?" Rebecca groaned, "Never, she's always been in my heart my mind, I loved her and I still do but I know that if she would have stayed away, I would've only been a distant memory," She answered truthfully. "You have a lot to think about," Elisabeth offered, Rebecca sighed harshly, "She's married and I'm with someone and I can't do a thing about it," She shrugged her shoulders finishing the last of her drink she calmly sat the glass down, looked back up to Elisabeth and left in silence.

Lizette sat on the bed in sorrow she wiped her eyes with the tissue she held tightly in her hand, "Rebecca, I didn't hear you come in," She looked up at her, "I love you," Rebecca started, "But I can't deal with your insinuations and jealousy," She stood up from the bed, "I jumped the gun, I know but she has her sights set on you in some strange way Rebecca," She looked away, "She was simply trying to help me get better so that I could get on with my life, I have suffered," She spoke pensively, "And I've been there for you," Lizette voiced with concern, "Not always, you haven't," Rebecca murmured, "What do you mean Rebecca, how could you say that," She embraced her, Rebecca pulled back, "When I told you I wanted more of a commitment you balked, you stay away a lot more than I want or expected after the accident," Lizette frowned cutting in, "You know I have to work and for as long as I can, we've discussed this very thing about our careers, I have to go when its feasible and available to me, you know this, modeling stints don't last forever and my father," She quickly quit talking, "Yes, your father," Rebecca inserted, "Controls every modeling gig you have, I'm not stupid Lizette, I know the kind of pressure he puts on you, have you told him that I want you to be more at home?" Lizette clinched her jaw, "My father likes you Rebecca and has accepted the fact my life's with you but he also realizes that I must make my own way he doesn't want me depending on the Lahnstein money for anything," She remarked, "I can see his point but he doesn't share an intimate relationship with me, you do, I've asked for more of a commitment, you're a grown woman, you've been modeling since you were fourteen," Rebecca worded in complete frustration. "I can see how you feel Rebecca but," Rebecca coldly interjected, "But what? You don't have comforts here? You don't think I have the means to care for you outside of my family's money?" She pointed out with rationality, "I love my job and I'm not ready to settle in one place, I don't need your money, I have my own," She argued.

"Lizette this is not what this is about, its about you and I, two people in love with each other trying to make a life together," Rebecca rehearsed, "I know you want me to settle down, I do love you and want to spend my life with you but your asking me to live a life of just being here!" She exclaimed, "That's not true, we could travel, do you not want to stay in Germany?" She asked in contemplation, "We could live anywhere we wanted?" Lizette questioned, "We could." Rebecca sounded upbeat, "You mean you would give up LCL?" Rebecca sat down in a sigh, "When I had my accident and I awoke, I realized so many things about myself, my life, I felt fortunate, fortunate that I was alive and by some miracle able to walk away from a devastating situation, I couldn't remember things and yes I was angry and right at first you were there for me, LCL was second and once time passed and I hired new designers and they started to do most of the work under my command then I realized my life didn't just revolve around the business, I could stay away, yes I love to work and design, I won't lie about that, LCL has a name for it's self and I do like being in charge and it is mine," She affirmed her fingers clutched her chest as she spoke. "And I can't ask you to give it up, not really, your business is different from my business, its feet are firmly on the ground, mine is free spirited," Lizette reminded her. Rebecca hung her head, "Your jealousy of Marlene must stop, I won't tolerate it at all," She moved closer to her, "Be honest, Marlene has this strange idealism about you, I just feel it in my bones," Her perception on target. "There are things about her," Rebecca began and then decided not to talk to her about it anymore, "What things?" She prodded with eager anticipation. "Nothing, I don't want to talk about her," She clutched the side of her arm, "Lets go to bed," Lizette willfully followed.

Marlene flipped through the hospital directory in search of a new therapist for Rebecca, "Hey," The door cracked open, Grace stood there, "Hey," Marlene's tone was sad as she answered her, "You were very quiet last night, Mark said he thought you weren't feeling well," Marlene closed the directory and sighed her fingertips beat the top of the book cover in a steady cadence. "Rebecca has decided she wants to try a new therapist, that she doesn't love me and I should stay out of her life," A tear of solitude ran down her face, "I'm sorry," Grace remarked sternly, "But its for the best, Mark is your husband and you need to clarify things with him, you have to stop interfering in Rebecca's life because she's had enough, I know how much you love her but you can't live in the past she doesn't feel the same as you do, even though I think she's lying," Grace crossed her arms and stared at Marlene with angst, Marlene listened to her words and wonder if a tiny spark still remained.


	16. Chapter 16

**CHAPTER XVI**

 **Suspicions**

Marlene study Grace's expression, "I know you mean well and I know you want me to be happy with Mark, I just don't know what to do," She laid her face in the palms of her hands, "Rebecca has made her decision Marlene," She walked over to her, "You don't have to remind me," She stood up from her desk and picked up her lab coat, "I have patients, dinner tonight, you'll be leaving tomorrow," Grace found her voice to be cool and standoffish, "Can I help you?" Grace walked behind her. "Sure," She smiled trying to curve the delicate situation between them. They saw their patients meeting Mark and David for lunch. "I sure will miss this place," David remarked looking around the cafeteria, Marlene giggled, "We will be here two years," Mark added, "Are you packed?" Marlene asked Grace, "Almost, we have to be at the airport by noon and I'd like to spend a little time with my best friend before we leave," Marlene casually grinned. "I'm sure we can arrange that," She replied, Grace winked, "I have a one thirty," Mark spoke up, "Rebecca Von Lahnstein," He mentioned finishing up his lunch, Marlene stopped breathing momentarily, "I need a report of how her therapy is going," He looked to his watch and then her, "Uh, yes as soon as I'm through with lunch I'll bring it to you," Mark nodded and picked up his tray leaving them at the table. "Well I guess we should go," Grace clutched David's arm. "Yeah, we'll see you tonight, dinner out?" He further questioned, Marlene agreed.

"Bend your leg for me," Mark directed Rebecca, she grimaced with a smile he looked back up to her, "Any pain here?" She shook her head negatively, "Marlene will drop off her report on your therapy, are you satisfied?" He asked in kindness, "Uh, yes," She answered noticing it was obvious Marlene hadn't told him yet. There was a light rap on the door Marlene entered she slightly grinned her heart sunk to her feet she remained quiet staring only at her husband, "Thank you," He looked the chart over, "If you'll excuse me then," Marlene quickly left, Rebecca hung her head grasping the table with her hands until her knuckles turned white. "I think another month maybe more of therapy," He suggested, Rebecca took in a deep breath, "Ok," She didn't know what else to say, "I'll see you in a month," He helped her from the table. Rebecca found her way to Marlene's office, "Yes, is Marlene in?" She asked the receptionist she rang her, ""First door on your right," She pointed. Marlene sat at her desk in anticipation of Rebecca's entrance she knocked, "Come in," She spoke with a sharp tone, "Rebecca," She took a seat in front of her desk, "How are you," She murmured, "I'm fine busy with patients and I wanted to let you know I've looked through the directory and I may have a couple of prospects," Rebecca stared, "I see, thank you, I just really stopped by to see how you are," Marlene's lips trembled, "I'm sure I'll manage," She answered. "I never meant to hurt you, really Marlene," She responded, "Please Rebecca, you've told me how you feel and I have to respect your wishes, you made it clear, you don't love me," She gazed deeply into her eyes.

"I should go," Rebecca broke the silence, Marlene whimpered, "I will let you know about a therapist as soon as I find a good one," She stated, "I love you, never forget that," Marlene spoke as Rebecca reached for the doorknob she stopped not turning around she stared at her hand on the knob and turned it walking out. Rebecca walked down the hall a ways stopping in the restroom she stared at herself in the mirror as she watched an all to familiar tear trace her cheek her heart felt sad as she turned the water on to wash her face she sobbed into the paper towel that covered her face. Rebecca's mind raced, "You know you love her," echoed like a freight train through her head she was startled by the door creaking and opening, "Excuse me," A nurse politely spoke, "Are you all right ma'am," She asked with concern, "I will be, thank you," She finished tidying up and left.

"We have a reservation at seven," Marlene told Mark as she placed an earring in her ear and began to pull her hair back in a ponytail, He sat on the bed tying his shoe, "Its hard to believe they'll be leaving tomorrow," He seemed quiet to her, "Yes the month has gone by fast," She answered him grabbing her purse from the dresser, "I will see you outside," She strolled out meeting Grace and David for a glass of wine, "Our reservation is not until seven," She told them Grace watched her closely she walked over to the window, Marlene walked up behind her, "You must not be pregnant, I've noticed that you've been drinking," Grace whispered, Marlene lower her shoulders and answered her, "I'm not, I took a test at Dana's and I started yesterday, so thankfully, I'm not," There was a sigh of relief between the two of them, David interrupted their conversation, "Seems you two keep a lot of secrets lately," He joked mildly, "Nonsense," Grace assured him, Marlene quickly changed the subject, "Were you able to get your suitcase closed?" She picked pinching Grace's cheek, "I was after I sat on it for thirty minutes," They all had a laugh, Mark entered the room as David moved closer to him, "I can stay if need be," She looked her best friend in the eyes, "I'll be fine, I need some alone time, Mark has a meeting in Berlin next Thursday and I will have that time to think," She remarked with a half grin. "Shall we," Mark pointed to the door.

"Rebecca, Lizette," Charlie greeted them at the door of Schneider's, they were seated, "It's difficult to take, you'll be gone two weeks this time," Rebecca growled as they opened their menus, "Lisbon, Barcelona and then South Africa," She whaled but had a sense of guilt, "We should talk seriously when I return," She added staring at Rebecca, "Really, you've come to your senses?" She smirked and then laughed Lizette reached her hand forward and tenderly stroked her arm, "I love you and I have to make some changes, I realize that while I've had my fun, I should think of settling down," Rebecca had a wide grin on her face, "I love you," She whispered her eye suddenly caught Marlene and Mark taking a seat across from them along with their friends. Rebecca caught Marlene's eye, she waved, "I see Rebecca is here with her girlfriend," Mark replied, "Yeah, I guess," Marlene felt small and strange, "Marlene," Mark spoke reaching out to her Grace cleared her throat, "What's good on the menu," She headed off the conversation. "The salmon," Marlene was quick to answer cutting a slight stare towards Rebecca. Mark and David began to discuss medical business and his trip to Berlin, Marlene remained quiet, "If you'll excuse me, I should freshen up," Marlene noted, Grace nodded, Mark and David continued talking as she got up unnoticed by Lizette.

Marlene tightened up the bow on her ponytail and opened up a tube of lipstick she began to put it on when Rebecca walked up behind her, "Hi," She offered, Marlene stared at her reflection in the mirror, "Rebecca, I see you and Lizette are out enjoying a nice evening," Rebecca swallowed hard, "Yes, she's leaving tomorrow night for a modeling gig, she'll be gone two weeks, yeah, uh, how are you?" She stumbled over her words, "I'm fine, I'm still looking for that replacement but in the mean time someone must do therapy on you," She closed the tube of lipstick and turned around to face her, "Could your friend Grace," Marlene quickly interjected, "Sorry but they leave tomorrow," Rebecca bowed her head, "Oh, I don't think I'll have a problem with you doing it until you can find a replacement," Lizette slowly walked into the foyer of the bathroom when she heard the two of them speaking she rested against the side of the door unknown to them she listened to their conversation, "I'm sorry Marlene but this is for the best, Lizette is jealous and suspicious of you and I don't want you to be put in the crossfire," Marlene cocked her brow, "How noble of you Rebecca," She sarcastically spoke, "Please Marlene," She crossed her arms slightly angered, Marlene picked up her purse from the counter, "I'll see you Saturday morning, nine?" She abruptly questioned, "That will be fine," Rebecca lowered her shoulders, Marlene turned back to her Lizette stepped aside quietly, "Nothing has changed nor will it ever, I" She stopped and took in a deep breath and walked out, Lizette had escaped back to the table unnoticed.

David hauled the last of their suitcases to the door. Grace and Marlene sat out on the small patio off the kitchen, "Looks like its going to be a nice day to travel," Marlene spoke as she sipped her coffee, "I hate to leave you in this delicate situation and I'm worried about you," She sighed continuing and Mark," Marlene sat her cup down, "I will work on my marriage, I just have to convince Mark that I'm not ready to have a baby just yet," Grace smiled, "So you've been doing some thinking about your marriage?" She seemed relieved, "I love my husband and he's my best friend, I have to be honest with him but right now I need to make amends and smooth things over and I need some alone time to think," She reflected with sincerity, "I can understand the disruption of having company, work," Grace resounded, "I've loved having you here and I want you to come back," She voiced, "I'm just a phone call away you know," She replied. "I'm not sorry that things didn't work out with Rebecca," She implied calmly, "I love her and I always will Grace but she's right our lives have changed and she's not willing to give me another chance, I made myself perfectly clear when I walked away all those years ago that there were no second chances, I'm searching for her a new therapist so that we both can stop this charade and move on," Grace felt Marlene had a plan but could sense she still held a lot of pain and anger. "I'm proud of you and I look forward to another visit soon, remember two years for now you'll be back in New Haven and settling down to new challenges but I've never asked you, what made you fall in love with her?" She rubbed the top of Marlene's hand as she asked, "It was silly actually," She paused briefly, "Rebecca had a party one night, there was drinking and we played spin the bottle a truth or dare kind of thing, we were dared to kiss and once we kissed that was it, I couldn't forget that kiss or get my mind off of her," She relayed.

"Are you about packed, two weeks is a long time," Rebecca remarked sitting on the bed next to Lizette, "I am," She slipped on her sweater, "I have some errands to run this afternoon before I leave," She kissed Rebecca, retrieving her cell phone from the nightstand, "And I want to be back early enough to spend a little time with you before I leave," She winked and gave her a naughty grin, "Ok," Rebecca answered, "I won't be long, I promise," She tapped her shoulder, "Do you have anything going on?" She questioned Rebecca, "I have some paperwork to finish up for Elisabeth and I need to go into LCL for a while," She answered. "I'll see you later," Lizette left her and headed for St. Vincent's hospital to confront Marlene. Lizette walked into the receptionist area and rang the bell at the counter, "May I help you?" The receptionist asked, "Marlene Blair, is she in?" Her voice calm and in control, "I'll phone her office," She replied, "Mrs. Blair is in, may I ask who's calling on her?" Lizette arched her brow, "Lizette Marlow," She told her. "She will see you, down the hall and the first door to the right," She gave her direction. Lizette knocked and entered, Marlene sat at her desk studying the directory for a therapist, "Good afternoon," Lizette was polite as she spoke, "What can I do for you?" Marlene remained professional folding her hands together and staring at her, "I have this nagging suspicion you have a thing for Rebecca," She didn't hold back as she spoke. Marlene gulped as she began to answer, "What is it that you were hoping to hear," Marlene clinched her jaw tightly, "I don't think Rebecca has been honest at all and I think she's covering up for you," Her tongue piercing. Marlene felt herself in a pinch she decided it was time to be truthful with Lizette.

"Very well, yes I did at one time have a thing for her," Lizette's mouth gaped open, "Rebecca and I both decided that it was in our best interest to not say anything, she's happy with you and I'm married to a wonderful man who has done nothing but help Rebecca," Lizette stunned, finally spoke, "Why did you take her case?" Marlene took in a deep breath and rolled her eyes, "My husband thought that someone she knew might make it easier for her, Rebecca hadn't had a good therapist and I had a connection to her," She replied firmly, "So your husband doesn't know about your obsession with Rebecca?" She quizzed still shocked by Marlene's revelation, "No he doesn't, as I said we both made the decision not to tell to protect our relationships," She pursed her lips, "Rebecca seems comfortable with you and I only have her best interests at heart," She stated looking back at a sullen Marlene, "She has requested that I find her a new therapist, she feels its making the situation difficult between you and her," She affirmed, "I have to admit I've been jealous and uncertain of you," She worded honestly. "I agreed with her as I haven't been exactly honest about her with my husband but its time to tell him everything," Marlene voiced. "I don't understand?" She asked in hesitation, "What do you not understand?" Marlene became frank, "Why tell him, nothing happened, Rebecca will work with someone new and your past fancy will be kept under wraps," Lizette's words were snide but true. Marlene thought briefly and came to the realization that Lizette wasn't aware of their time together.

Mark came bounding down the hall with Rebecca's therapy chart in hand passing the receptionist desk and heading to Marlene's office he started to push the door open when he heard the voice of someone in her office he placed the side of his face against the slightly cracked door and listened. "I can no longer lie to my husband about Rebecca, its not fair and I've told you something I asked Rebecca not to tell you because I didn't want to have an issue or to have my confidence broken by something that happened in our past," She stood up from her desk and approached Lizette, "I see," Lizette gathered her purse from her lap and also stood up, "I'm glad we were able to solve this problem and I hope that you aren't angry with Rebecca, I initially begged her not to tell you," They walked to the door, Mark straightened up and knocked startling them, "Dr. Blair," Lizette stammered, "You are Lizette?" He extended his hand out to her, they shook he handed Marlene Rebecca's chart, "Is everything all right with Rebecca?" He probed, "Uh, yes, I was leaving for two weeks and I wanted to be sure the therapy would continue and if there was anything I needed to know," She smiled in reassurance not knowing what else to say, "Good then, if you will excuse me," He left them hurriedly walking around the corner and leaning against the wall the conversation heavy on his mind he thought back to the strange looks to Rebecca and Lizette in Schneider's the night before and Marlene's recent distractions, something was going on with her and he needed to get to the bottom of it.

Marlene felt a sense of relief she sat back down and reopened the directory and began to search for names taking a pencil and jotting some of them down, "Hey," Mark opened the door he could still feel the thickness of the air in the room, Lizette's perfume slightly lingered, "Hey," Marlene echoed not looking up at him as she continued to write, "Rebecca's girlfriend is a knock out," He started to talk, Marlene felt a lump forming in her throat, "If you say so," She winced, "I don't understand her concern for Rebecca she's doing remarkably well," He inserted sitting in front of her desk, "Just a little nervous I suppose," Marlene added, "Seems to me she's a little jealous of your relationship with Rebecca," He surmised, Marlene could feel her chest tightened, "What!" She exclaimed, "I couldn't help but overhear your conversation with her," He mildly voiced, "You listened to our conversation?" She became angered, "Not all of it but enough to know there's a problem," Marlene could hardly swallow, "There is no problem we've resolved it," Her face now flushed her heart pounding out of control, "Why is there or was there a problem to begin with, Rebecca is a client," He raised his voice, "I don't know, I think she was just curious about our past relationship, after all I was married to Rebecca's brother, that's all I know," It hurt her to lie, "Somehow something just doesn't add up Marlene, I think its only fair that you tell me the truth, I am your husband," He demanded firmly leaving her office she began to cry reaching for a tissue, tonight would be the night she would tell him everything.


	17. Chapter 17

**CHAPTER XVII**

 **Some things are better left unsaid**

Lizette began zipping up her suitcase when Rebecca entered with a smile, "I tried to get back earlier," She grasped her around the waist, Lizette wouldn't face her, "What's wrong," She tugged at her shoulder, "I had a conversation with Marlene today," She frowned as she spoke, Rebecca wheeled her around, "What do you mean, tell me," She became angered a red streak crossed her face, "Why do you protect her?" She barked, "Because, I," She quit talking, "Marlene told me she once had a thing for you," Rebecca breathed in a sigh of uncertainty, "Why didn't you tell me that she was interested but you rejected her," She crossed her arms in surprise as she asked Rebecca, "Is that what she told you, she was rejected?" Lizette appeared lost at her words. "I don't have time to discuss this further, I want a little alone time before I go," She changed the subject, "I think I can arrange that," She took her by the hand and led her to bed. They made love lying in the confines of each others arms, "I should dress," Lizette arose from the bed, Rebecca stayed under covers, "I love you," She mused, Lizette hurried back to the bed and kissed her, "We will talk when I return, I promise," She voiced, "But work calls and I will see how this goes," Rebecca took in her words and smiled her underline thoughts were on Marlene.

Marlene hesitated before entering the apartment knowing Mark had arrived home before her she groaned leaning against the door her hand shook as she tried to put the key in the lock she braved up and entered. Mark sat on the sofa a stiff drink in hand he looked at her she sat her purse down on the table and walked over sitting next to him, "Mark," She began, he eyed her and remained stoic, "I need to tell you something, something I should have told you a long time ago," She lowered her head, "I don't think you've been very truthful about your life here or before I was in the picture," He mumbled taking a swig of his drink, "I haven't been honest, I never thought I would return here, my life was in New Haven with a new husband who loves me and I just didn't want to take a chance of messing that up or losing you because you might be ashamed by me," She quickly rubbed her face, "Ashamed of you?" He questioned continuing, "No matter what, I could never be ashamed of you, I love you Marlene," She wept, "Yes its true I was married to Hagen and as I told you it wasn't very good, I became involved with Tristan," Mark perked up, "Tristan Von Lahnstein?" She frowned, "Yes Hagen and Rebecca's brother, we came together and started a life, I told you I was raped and went through a lot Rebecca returned from a long stay in New York and I discovered I was pregnant," Mark pursed his lips, "You were pregnant?" He shook his head and rubbed his eyes with the palms of his hands. "I was, it was a terrible time for me, uncertainty set in and I had an abortion, Rebecca was there for me and we were the best of friends, one thing led to another and we fell in love with each other," She held her breath as she spoke the words she had tried so hard to forget.

Mark looked straight ahead and was speechless at first he stood up and fixed another drink, "Hmmm, so you're really a lesbian," He sounded angered and somewhat weird, "Yes," She cleared her throat, "So what's your interest in me?" He asked with sarcasm, "I love you Mark, when we met it had been many years since I had been with Rebecca," He walked over to the window and stared out at the skyline, "Why didn't you tell me? I mean when I asked you to marry me if you had any secrets that was the time to tell me," He signed deeply his forehead wrinkled with uneasy apprehension, "I wanted to, but I just couldn't, had I told you would you have stayed with me?" She asked unclear of what his answer would be, "I don't know, I'm shocked and can't think about how I would've felt, hell I don't even know how I feel now, how long were you with her?" He prodded her as he looked back to her she remained quiet, "How long dammit!" He raised his voice in anger, "Two years," She tried to recall, "What happened? Did you decide that being in a lesbian relationship wasn't for you?" He poured another drink his hand trembled in angst, "Or did you decide it would be better with a man so you found the first sucker you could and made him fall in love with you?" He grasped his drinking glass hard and guzzled the contents. Marlene rushed over to him, "That's not the way it was, when we met you swept me off my feet," She reached her hand out to him he pulled away. "Shit!" He exclaimed loudly, Marlene had never seen him like this before she became scared. "Please don't Mark you have to believe me, I love you," She begged.

"Rebecca? Does she know you've never told me?" He clinched his teeth, "Yes, I told her," She made her answer short, "And how do you feel? Do you still love her?" He insisted, "I do, I will always love her," Marlene spoke deciding not to hold back, "And what does that mean for me? Us?" He squared his jaw and asked in a rational tone. "Mark, I love you, I married you, when I left here it was to find myself and get on with my life, I never thought our paths would cross again, what should I do? Continue to lie to you? How long before you would have found out?" She remarked firmly, "You took her case," He groaned, "I did because you urged me to, you thought someone who was familiar would be better for her, I didn't want it because I didn't want to raise suspicion, she thought we were past all the hurt we caused each other and had moved on with our lives, my back was against the wall," She tried to make him to understand. "What will you do now?" He asked calmly, "She has requested a new therapist she told me that Lizette didn't feel comfortable with the situation," She rolled her eyes sighing, "I will work with her in the morning and then hopefully I will have found someone else to take her case," She stated, "I don't want you seeing her," Mark ordered rudely, "I can't do that, I have to finish this last session," He shook his head negatively, "I don't trust this, I've noticed your distraction when she's around, I never would have thought it was about you being her ex lover," Marlene crossed her arms, "Ex, you are my future, I love you," She needed to be convincing. "This is a lot for me to take in, I can't talk to you anymore, my body, my mind is in shock," He voiced sternly, "I'm going to shower and then to bed," He set the glass down gave her a quick gaze and left her in the living room alone. Marlene paced in thought of what she should tell Rebecca she poured a drink swigging it down quickly. She text Rebecca about meeting earlier than normal and that they needed to talk she walked to the bedroom door, grasping the knob and finding the door locked. Marlene gasped and pulled a blanket and pillow from the closet camping on the sofa for a restless night.

Rebecca dressed in a warm up suit and hurried down to the workout room in anticipation of Marlene's arrival she began balancing her foot on the big ball and rotating it, "Good morning," Marlene entered, Rebecca could tell she looked tired and worried, "Shall we start with the stretching exercise?" She quizzed with a tremble in her voice, "Hey," Rebecca stood up, "Are you alright?" She moved closer to her, "No," She had tears in her eyes, "I told Mark of our past," She spoke in anguish over the situation, "Oh," Rebecca lowered her head, "This is Lizette's fault," She echoed, Marlene looked at her, "Mark overheard our conversation, I was furious and I had to come clean with him he was getting suspicious and he doesn't want me to see you anymore," She revealed sadly, "You won't have too," Rebecca looked at her, "I can wait until you find me someone new even if it means taking off for a few days," She smiled touching Marlene's cheek with her index finger. "Are you sure this is what you want?" Marlene asked curiously, "No its not but I can't have strife between Lizette and myself, she's moody and has been suspicious as well," Rebecca assured her, "Ok, I will do my best to at least line someone up on Monday," She replied they finished up the stretching exercises and took a break, "I already miss you," Rebecca kindly established, "Well its for the best unless you've had a change of heart," Marlene asked as she perked up. "I do love you in a way, I'd be lying to myself and everyone else if I didn't fess up Marlene but I have a long road ahead of me and I don't remember things and I feel like a ball of confusion," She began to get flustered, pensive.

Marlene smiled, "You just said you loved me," She gazed into the serenity of Rebecca's big brown eyes, "I do, I always have and I always will," She became solemn, "But there was a reason for our breakup, happiness was lost and nothing was gained when we discovered it was too late to continue, love was never the reason, I can look back and I do remember everything we had, we shared, I'm thankful that I never lost those memories," Marlene became excited momentarily, "I never stopped loving you, never but I think back and I realized just how selfish I was, I mean I never offered you that second chance," She shrugged her shoulders and continued, "If I would have came to you and said, I'm leaving if we want to make this work you should go with me, would you have?" Her questioned lingered in the air, Rebecca took it in closing her eyes briefly, "I don't know Marlene that was so long ago, I was angry, heartbroken and under a great deal of pressure from my family, I didn't want to give up what I loved doing but I allowed that very thing to ruin my life, you didn't ask, I was never given that opportunity, so neither of us will truly know if that would've changed the course of things," Rebecca candidly spoke, they finished the exercises. Rebecca returned to the orangery, Marlene now parted from the castle Rebecca plopped down on the sofa sinking her face into her hands and sobbing. Marlene stood in hesitation outside the door she lifted her fist to knock but stopped just short of it she bit her lower lip in anticipation she knew if she entered she'd be defying her husband. Marlene pause and then knocked the door swung open with intensity from Rebecca. Marlene entered without a word she clutched Rebecca around the waist pressing her lips against hers they kissed erratically moaning and groaning as their tongues fused together.

Marlene and Rebecca tore away at each others clothing until it was strewn across the floor they stayed locked together the sweat of passion beaded up on their skin from the friction of touching closely. Rebecca pulled Marlene into the shower the hot steamy water pelted them as they soaped each other down, Marlene bit into Rebecca's neck tasting the sweetness that the soap exuded her void soaked with want, "I love you," She grimaced piercing Rebecca's crevice with her fingers, "And I know you love me," Her breath hot against Rebecca's lips, Rebecca didn't speak she only groaned lowly until she came her muscles twitching she stooped down slowly as she came down from the sexual high she was on. Marlene spread her legs cocking her head back against the shower wall begging Rebecca for gratification. Rebecca's tongue entered her with force Marlene flexed herself willfully against her until the steady strokes became uncontrollable climaxes she fell, spent, to the shower floor the heat they exhausted caused the shower glass to become thick with steam they held each other closely until they could gather the strength to wrap themselves in a towel and head to the bed. Their bodies accepted the warmness of the sheets that shrouded them they lay touching and caressing each other without a word until they fell asleep from shear exhaustion.

"My life is in shambles," Marlene announced sadly as Rebecca first opened one eye and then the other, "I don't want to talk about it, lying here with you in my arms is all I want to think about right now," Rebecca demanded once again hurting the people that she and Marlene both loved, "Why are you in love with me," Rebecca asked spiking an interest in Marlene, "I always have, you know that," She rolled over placing her fingertip on Rebecca's lower lip, "You loved me first," She teased kissing her gently on the lips, "I did," Rebecca sighed, "I have to talk to Lizette, I have to make a decision," She rehearsed, "You said no talking about our lives being in shambles," She grumbled rolling on top of Rebecca, they kissed again their tongues darting blissfully out of one another's mouth until the chime of Marlene's text brought them to reality. Marlene fished her cell from the pocket of her jeans, "Its Mark, I need to go," She frowned as she dressed, "I want you to stay," Rebecca grasped her hand firmly pulling her back on the bed. "I want nothing more than to stay with you but I have a husband and I'm sure his suspicion has heightened," She replied. "Marlene, what will you do or say to him? This man has no idea of your true feelings for me and I can assure you this wanting to have a child with you is front and center on his mind, I can believe your not pregnant already," Rebecca arose from the bed and began to dress, "I'm not pregnant and I've been taking the pill," Rebecca followed her to the door, "Marlene your married to him, there's a commitment," She sternly voiced, "I know, I know I'm in this situation, I don't want to hurt him but I already have beyond belief and he doesn't even know the half of it," She stammered in anger, "I've got to go," She attempted a kiss but Rebecca pulled away she hurried leaving Rebecca to contemplate their situation.

"Where have you been?" Mark grunted loudly as Marlene entered the apartment, "I told you I had to finish my session with Rebecca, why?" He walked over to her, "And I told you not to see her again," Marlene tossed her purse down on the table bypassing him he turned quickly clutching her, "Did you hear what I said?" He became loud and abrupt, "What am I suppose to do? Huh?" She asked as he held a tight grip on her, "Find someone else," He vented in anger, "Let go of me," She yanked her arm from him, "Your hurting me," She further responded. Mark began to get restless, "I can't believe how you lied to me," He started needling her, "I didn't want to hurt you, you put me, us in this situation," She answered her mouth became taut, "Me? Don't be ridiculous," He insisted, "You made a decision to come to Düsseldorf, you never asked me how I felt about it, you assumed it, we haven't even had a chance to start our life together, my career was just beginning, you have to live with this decision." She voiced strongly. "I only wanted to make you happy," He stuttered in assurance. "Do you think living in all this chaos makes me happy? I have a responsibility to our clients, you pushed for me to work with her you said it would be for the best, or did you forget that?" She sat on the sofa he joined her, "I did think it was for the best but I didn't know of your past together," Marlene looked at him, "Would it have made a difference? We've been over for years, I have you and she has Lizette, are you afraid for our marriage?" She questioned with a slight sarcastic laugh, "I could've changed how I did things, I don't think she's a threat to our marriage but then again I don't like secrets," He remarked coldly, "I can't live in this turmoil or tension," Marlene began to speak, Mark hung his head, "Should I move out? To a hotel?" He asked his throat tightened in anticipation of an answer, "I'm not asking for that, you can't tell me who I can or can't see, I won't live in a marriage where I have to lie every time I think you might become jealous or angered." Her tone animated as it rifted through the apartment. "Rebecca is my responsibility until I can find a replacement, she's making great progress, better than I anticipated and she's your patient which has nothing to do with our personal lives," She forewarned him. Mark thought momentarily before agreeing he left the room, Marlene felt anguish and sorrow for hurting him.


	18. Chapter 18

**CHAPTER XVIII**

 **Torn**

Marlene picked up her phone and dialed a number from the directory she had been studying over the last few days, "Yes, Marlene Blair from St. Vincent's hospital," She identified herself. "Is Eric Bergman in?" She further questioned conversing with him about Rebecca and where they were on her therapy she phoned several others but to no avail they were booked at least for the next month her smile turned to a frown. She tapped the desk with her ink pen and text Rebecca, it had been three days since their tryst and not a word had been spoken between them, Marlene knew in her heart that they needed a cooling off period. "Hey," Mark knocked opening the door. She smiled at him, "Any luck?" He questioned in a kind way trying not to alienate her, "No," She stood up from behind her desk, "I've been on the phone with several different therapist and they are all booked up at least until the end of the month," She arched her brow staring at him directly, "I wanted to talk," He began, "I feel really bad about what happened," He scratched his head, "I can't help the situation with Rebecca, your right, I shouldn't have lied," He walked towards her and embraced her, "I love you and you're my wife," The sadness showed on his face. "I love you too but you can't tell me who I can see or what to do," She spoke strongly, "She is a client Marlene, how does that look?" Marlene tightened her jaw, "I, don't, care what anyone thinks, we've gone this far without an issue and it's a little late too worry about it now," She commanded her cell phone chimed it was Rebecca. Mark looked at her, "I've patients, lunch?" She sat her phone down on her desk, "About thirty minutes?" She replied in agreement.

"Can we meet this evening?" Her text read, Marlene was reluctant but made the decision to meet at five at the castle she tidied her desk and headed to the cafeteria. Mark was sitting down to the table, Marlene picked up a salad and joined him, "I have a surgery scheduled late this afternoon, a forty year old woman fell and broke her hip badly, now that she's stabilized I can do the surgery, I'll be late," He remarked, "Ok, I have an early afternoon so if you'll call me, I'll have a little something prepared for dinner," She mentioned he smiled feeling the tension from earlier that day easing, "I love you," He touched his lips to hers a grin crossed her face, "Well I have paperwork to finish," She stated taking the last bite of her salad she tapped his shoulder and left him at the table. Marlene found the confines of the office quiet she sat down resting her face in her hands her thoughts tracing back to Rebecca and their passionate tryst, "God, I'm in so much trouble," She whispered as she exhaled her phone rang startling her, "Dad," She smiled, "How's my girl?" He questioned she became sullen, "I'm fine, where are you?" She quizzed changing the subject, "Dana's, Hagen is back from Baltimore and we have some thing's to finish in the barn, Dana said you were here?" He relayed, "Yes, I missed you how was Kim and Emilio?" There was a second of silence, "All is good but I'm worried about you," She knew Dana had told him a little of what was going on, "I'll be in Düsseldorf next week, we will talk then," They said their goodbyes hanging up.

A fine drizzle covered the walkway as Marlene rang the doorbell to the castle, Justus answered, "Marlene, Rebecca just went to the orangery, "Thank you Justus," She walked passed him and made her way down the hall to the orangery she knocked, "Rebecca," She opened the door wider and let her in, "Marlene thank you for coming," Marlene turned around to face Rebecca, "I'm sorry I've been unable to locate a therapist it will be at least the end of the month," She reasoned, "It's ok, I've done some thinking and I don't care what anyone thinks, Lizette will have to deal with it and so will your husband," She was matter of fact in her speaking, "What changed your mind?" Marlene inquired, "You've helped me greatly," Rebecca began, "And I also slept with you when I shouldn't have," Marlene interjected, Rebecca moved closer, "You slept with me because you wanted to, you told me you loved me," She stared her in the eyes, "I did and I do love you but I have a husband, he's suspicious and its stressful for me right now," She claimed dramatically, "You should go home to your husband then," Rebecca became miffed, "You called me over here Rebecca," Marlene snapped, "Obviously he's really pressuring you to stop seeing me," She mildly argued, "He is and when I got home the other evening he was very angry and demanding and the argument turned heated he grabbed me by the arm, it was scary," She voiced, "Did he hurt you?" Rebecca became concerned. "No he let go but it frightened me still," She whimpered, Rebecca moved closer, "If our relationship is causing him to lose his temper," She hesitated narrowing her eyes, "Then I don't want you hurt Marlene," Marlene could feel the tears in her eyes well up.

Rebecca took her thumb and wiped a tear from Marlene's cheek, "I couldn't bear it if something happened to you and I was the cause of it," She rehearsed, "I won't let him hurt me and I really don't think he would he feels wounded and unsure of what's going on, I feel shitty for letting him down," She voiced in animation. "You should work on your marriage after all you chose him and," Rebecca cut it short not wanting to delve into the, what ifs. "Do you know," Marlene moaned as she started to answer her, "He asked me if I was a lesbian and I didn't deny it," Rebecca slightly grinned, "Marlene you've never been the one for labels, I'm surprised you didn't deny it," Rebecca surmised. "I was or I am in love with a woman, its difficult, what should I have said?" She questioned her own self, "But you and I are not together," Rebecca replied lowering her head, "I'm with someone else, I feel incredibly guilty, I doubt Lizette will stay, I somehow feel my accident revolves around her, Tristan constantly badgers me about her and my memory," She grimaced moving forth, "I just don't remember," She stammered in defeat. "Not to worry it will come back to you in good time don't put yourself in a situation that causes you to have a blow out," Marlene remarked in a slight chuckle, "I need to go, I can't see you until Thursday, Mark will be leaving for Berlin, he has a conference there," She told her, "So Thursday morning?" Rebecca eyed her, "Yes," A plan was made and she departed the castle.

"Are you packed?" Marlene asked Mark as he carried the suit bag out into the living room, "Yes," He answered, "My flight's at ten what's on your agenda today?" He asked kissing her lips, "Work of course, I have several patients this evening, my morning is free so I can get my paperwork done and submitted to your office," She answered, "Oh good," He poured them each a cup of coffee. Marlene momentarily looked away she had just lied to her husband about Rebecca even though she tried desperately hard not to mention her. "My cab should be here any minute, I will see you Friday evening, I'll call you when my plane lands," He relayed he kissed her again he picked up his luggage and headed out the door. Marlene sat down to the bar with her coffee her text chimed she smiled when she saw it was from Rebecca, "I'm ready when ever you are," It read, "Give me a bit, I've cleared my calendar just for you," She smiled widely as she sent the text back to her. "I have something special planned after my workout," She sent another text. Marlene slipped on her sweater and headed out.

Marlene met Rebecca down in the work out room they started with stretching exercises and then her foot on the ball moving to the treadmill, "That's it, ten minutes that's good, how do you feel?" Marlene questioned, "Fine, I'm getting stronger everyday, thank you," She mentioned sentimentally. "You don't have to thank me, its what I love doing," She reassured her, "How are things, I mean when you left the other day, your mood was sensitive and things weren't well," Marlene looked at her, "We made up, well sort of, things still aren't right, I'm in a difficult situation, I could stay with him out of gratitude but I know I'll never really be happy," She was adamant, "Marlene," Rebecca became serious, "Rebecca lets not talk about this right now," Marlene interrupted, "You had something planned?" She questioned fishing for an answer, "Yes, let me change and I'll meet you down in the kitchen," Marlene obliged waiting patiently, Rebecca walked down the stairs and into the kitchen. "Mrs. Lentz has prepared us a picnic lunch, come," She took a willful Marlene by the hand and led her out to the terrace and onto the grounds to a quaint spot under the trees she spread a blanket setting the basket down, "Wine?" She asked Marlene as she sat across from her. A slight breeze blew the fine strands of hair around her face, "Yes please," Rebecca poured her a glass and handed it to her she pulled her wind blown hair back from her face, "What a lovely idea," She smiled at Rebecca sipping her wine. "I thought you would enjoy the relaxation," She toasted her laying back and nibbling on a few grapes.

"Rebecca I could swear you were being romantic," She spoke catching her off guard, "No," She grinned, "Just a little quiet time," Marlene laid beside her, "It doesn't change that I love you," Marlene remarked rolling over on her belly and raising up on her elbows she stared deeply into Rebecca's eyes, "Can't we just enjoy this beautiful day and not talk about the things that are making our lives difficult?" Rebecca questioned, Marlene closed her eyes briefly she moved her face closer to Rebecca's her mouth gaped open as she placed her opened mouth on Rebecca's they kissed tongues dancing playfully as they traced each others lips, Marlene moaned low, "I want you," She whispered she could feel her insides tremble and quake. Rebecca gently rolled her over laying on top of her she kissed her with little resistance they ran their hands over each other, Marlene slipped her fingers to the top button of Rebecca's jeans twisting and turning the button until she freed it, Rebecca's groans became louder as she felt the pressure of Marlene's fingers inside of her, exploring her with steady strides she arched herself to and fro as she climaxed wildly finally relaxing to the side of her spent from erotic and uninhibited sexual play. Marlene lie quietly as if she were in a trance she opened her eyes looking up to the canopy of limbs and leaves above them they swayed in the breeze she didn't want to talk just enjoy the passion she had bestowed upon Rebecca. Rebecca took her index finger pausing it briefly on Marlene's forearm she tickled her slightly getting a rise out of her.

"Does she?" Marlene began not allowing Rebecca to answer, "Does she make you feel the way I do?" Her question repeated as she cocked her head to the side. Rebecca took in a deep breath slowly exhaling, still feeling the wrath of the orgasms that took her over, "No one has ever made me feel the way that you do when it comes to sex, its passionate, erotic and unguarded the way you touch me, kiss me, tease me," She giggled getting her point across, "Then tell me your in love with me," Marlene begged, "I do love you but I'm still in love with Lizette," Her answer forward, "I know deep down you're still in love with me you just can't admit it right now," She answered placing her hand to her forehead and resting it there she could feel the beads of sweat bubble under the warmth of her hand. "What are we doing here? This?" Rebecca quizzed in a whisper, "We love each other and we can't stay away no matter what, we are like a magnet drawn to one another, we fulfill each others needs in a way no one else can," She argued the case hoping Rebecca would see. Rebecca sat up buttoning and zipping her pants, "I can't do this anymore, its like I lured you here," She became upset and felt awkward. "You didn't," Marlene's voice soothed her, "You wanted me here," She spoke boldly reminding her of the picnic she had prepared for her. "But, I have patients this evening and I hate to cut this time together short," She whimpered not wanting to leave, "When will I see you again?" She asked softly, "Saturday morning or maybe you need a break, Monday?" She asked gazing at her.

Rebecca thought for a moment, "I'm doing so good with this therapy, seriously, to take a break might set me back," She paused, "Sometimes rest is a good thing, I want you to walk about ten minutes on the treadmill in the morning and then about fifteen minutes with your foot on the ball," She ordered in a motherly way, "Ok," Rebecca stopped short of speaking further, "Thank you for the lovely lunch, I enjoyed the quiet time we had together," Marlene paused to stare, "I love you Rebecca," The pit of her stomach churned, "Marlene," Rebecca grasped the sleeve of her shirt, "I know in your heart that you love your husband, I know you want me to say I'm in love with you but I love Lizette and I feel I've put you in this uncanny situation, I do love being with you the time we've spent has been such a release for me, I'm afraid I've created a lot of turmoil for myself and I have a woman who loves me and I want to make a commitment with," Marlene could see the worried look on Rebecca's face. "Why are you telling me this?" She moved closer to her, "I need," There was hesitation in Rebecca's tone, "We need to separate business from pleasure that's all I'm saying," Rebecca's words hung in the air like a thick dark cloud. "I think we both need some time to reflect, I'll be in touch," She quickly turned away from Rebecca and scurried like a scared child off the grounds. Rebecca stood watching in guilt.

Marlene laid the door key on the table along with her purse she plopped down on the sofa slipping her shoes off and rubbing her tired feet when a knock came to the door. "Rebecca," She voiced as she opened the door, "May I come in?" Marlene slightly lowered her head, "Sure," The words Rebecca spoke earlier still stung, "I thought you made it clear that you wanted to keep our lives separate," Marlene asked crossing her arms in dismay and returning to the sofa, Rebecca followed joining her, "I'm sorry, I feel I hurt you and I never meant to do that," She started, clasping her hands together tightly, "What do you want Rebecca?" Marlene became forward, "I think we need to clear the air a clean break, I've decided to fly to Lisbon tomorrow and surprise Lizette," She worded in a serious tone, "Guilty conscience huh?" Marlene prodded. "Very guilty conscience," Rebecca answered in a grimace. "Marlene there are so many things I don't remember from the last year of my life, I'm frustrated and I need to get a handle on my situation with Lizette, it's a haze," She sighed deeply continuing, "I feel I put you in the middle and I need to find the missing pieces to the puzzle of my life," She tried to be realistic as she spoke. "So how will I continue your therapy?" She questioned in angst, "Maybe I should start coming to the hospital, I'm strong enough to get myself where I need to go," She smiled in light of the situation. "If leaving you alone is what you want then I'll do it but as you've told me in the past, listen to your heart," She pursed her lips as she spoke those words. "I've listened to my heart, its broken and I'm afraid that when we parted it was shattered beyond repair, when you left the second time I knew for sure there was no way we could mend what had happened to us, lets face it we cheated on each other and most of all neither of us were happy," She shrugged her shoulders in despair.

Marlene impishly grinned Rebecca's words mirrored in her mind. "I was selfish, I should have just reflected on my life and realized that you were what made my world go around, that I loved you," Rebecca stopped her, "It wouldn't have mattered we were broken and that's why we parted, no I didn't want it and yes I would have given anything to work it out but as time went on we both accepted it, we accepted that our lives would take different paths," She rehearsed, "I should go, I have an early flight in the morning and I still have to pack," Marlene listened to her as a tear fell from her eye, "If that's what you want, I can't stop you, I know I can't go on like this, all this turmoil, I've caused such great pain to my husband and he doesn't really even know it, we keep falling into the same trap but I've said it so many times already, I'm in love with you and if you will just listen to your heart you will know I'm telling you the truth Rebecca, we love each other please don't ever forget it," She walked Rebecca out into the hallway, "Goodbye," She watched her walk out.


	19. Chapter 19

**CHAPTER XIX.**

 **Two wrongs don't make a right**

Marlene sat and waited for Mark to return his flight had been delayed she was anxious, thought's of Rebecca rang through her mind their conversation, Rebecca's revelation about her true feelings ran deep in her veins. Marlene was startled from her thoughts by the jingle of Marks keys in the door she ran to the door greeting him, "Hey," He grasped her around the waist twirling her in his arms, "I missed you but Berlin was nice," He laughed. Mark became romantic kissing her and stroking her breasts through her shirt he began to loosen his necktie groaning as his hands wondered to the top button of her slacks, "Aren't you tired?" Marlene asked placing her hands on the lapels of his jacket, "Not when it comes to you," He led her by the hand into the bedroom she felt strange and awkward but realize now was the time to try and work things out with her husband after all she thought, "I married him because I loved him," Marlene gave in to his charms and they spent the night making love. "Maybe this time you'll be pregnant," Mark murmured quietly, Marlene rolled her eyes, "Yeah maybe so," She didn't feel like arguing, Rebecca was on her mind, "What are you thinking?" He added, "Nothing really, I missed you," She swallowed hard knowing she really didn't Marlene knew she was in trouble. "Marlene I really want to have a child with you," He implored grasping her shoulder and pulling her closer to, him she couldn't speak the emotional pain she felt was nagging her, "I think we should see a Doctor, surely there's a reason you haven't become pregnant," He became worried, Marlene remained mum.

"Room four seventy," Rebecca spoke looking around the lobby of the hotel, "Lisbon is beautiful this time of year," The hotel clerk spoke handing her the key to Lizette's room, "Yes and I'm here for a few days, I hope to see some of the sights," She mentioned with a wink the bell hop walked behind her with her suitcase in tow, "Will that be all madam?" He asked as she tipped him, "Yes," Rebecca entered the room sitting down on the bed and relaxing she text Lizette when she suddenly heard the key slide and unlock the door, Lizette opened it giggling but nearly choked when she saw Rebecca sitting there, "Rebecca," She rushed to her side and clutching her by the arms a dark skinned handsome young man stood in the doorway speechless, "What are you doing here?" Lizette asked in a stutter, "I thought it would be nice to surprise you," She smiled giving the man at the door a furrowed look, "Are you going to introduce me to your friend?" Rebecca asked, Lizette looked to him biting her lip, "Uh, yes, uh, Francisco, this is Rebecca," He moved over towards the bed shaking her hand his heart pounded wildly at their first meeting, "We were just coming in from a shoot and," She stopped talking as Francisco interjected, "I'm right down the hall and I thought I would walk Lizette to her room," He smiled feeling his throat tightened. "I see," Rebecca grasped her around the neck in a tight embrace. "If you both will excuse me, I have film to develop, I'll see you later," He hurriedly closed the door leaving the two of them alone. "I could use a hot bath," Rebecca noted looking around the room, Lizette's eyes scanned the room for any signs of clothing not belonging to her.

Lizette and Rebecca slipped into the warmness of the water in the tub, "Wine?" Lizette asked relived there was no trace of Francisco in the room she poured Rebecca a glass, "I must say I'm rather surprised you would leave Düsseldorf," She cleared her throat as she broached the subject, "I don't want to talk about anything but us," She leaned forward and kissed her, "I love you Lizette and right now the only thing I want to focus on is us," She gazed at her grabbing a lock of her light brown hair and twisting it in her fingers, "You didn't have to come all the way to Lisbon to do it Rebecca," She lightly scolded, "Yes I did but we need to talk about some things," She voiced as a reminder of why she was really there, "Ok but first," Lizette began she placed her lips on Rebecca's in a sweet kiss they moved from the tub to the bed wet bodies caressed and explored in heated passion they both laid there a while enjoying the sexual release each closing their eyes in thought of what they needed to say to one another. Rebecca quietly started talking, "This Francisco, is he the one who continues to text you?" Lizette felt uneasy her forehead wrinkled in anticipation of what to say, "Yes," She was calmly blunt, "Why do you ask?" She felt her heart begin to race, "I think he has an interest in you beyond photography," She turned her head towards her as she spoke, "Rebecca, I don't think that's the case," Lizette became guarded, "Hmmm, I'm no fool Lizette," She implied strongly, "What would make you think that?" She asked as if she were backed into a corner. "Because no man would walk you to your room if he's just down the hall, Lizette, it's the early evening," She eyed her as she reminded her. Lizette sat up in bed, "I love you Rebecca," She spoke defensively, "I know what its like to cheat on the person you love the most," She added staring at Lizette with caution.

"Cheat!" She exclaimed wildly thrusting herself from the bed, "Are you accusing me of cheating?" She became irritated. "Are you?" She asked calmly, "I, I, where is this coming from Rebecca?" Rebecca sat up in the bed and motioned with the pat of her hand for Lizette to rejoin her she did, "I have to tell you something, something I've kept from you but should've told you," Lizette relaxed a little listening to Rebecca weave a tale of her past life one she had never been very forthcoming about, "I was desperately in love a long time ago," Lizette curled her lip and whispered, "I know," Rebecca raised her finger to Lizette's lips, "Please just listen, Tristan was engaged to a woman with whom I had an affair with and fell in love with there was a lot of turmoil and hatred that went on between us, it devastated us in a lot of ways but I just couldn't help the fact that I was in love with her and I fought tooth and nail to be with her, I didn't care about the consequences, I had a right to be in love," She worded as she took in a deep breath, "Did she not love you back?" Lizette had an emotional look of concern, "She did and her love was powerful and unconditional but as time went on I just couldn't see it," Rebecca had a tear fall from the corner of her eye, "What do you mean? You two were together weren't you?" Lizette questioned stroking the side of Rebecca's face, "Yes, I know I wasn't very talkative about it, she broke my heart but the truth is I broke hers, I worked all the time, I was so in tune to my job designing and the pressures of my family to make a go of our business it caused a rift between us," She further stated placing her face in the palms of her hands.

"Go on," Lizette prodded, "We argued quite a bit and I cheated she left me, I can't say that I blame her," She added sadly, "There wasn't room for another chance, I begged but she needed to find herself so she left, I drifted through life wondering about the what ifs, the stupid and shitty mistakes I had made but neither of us were happy she made me see that, I just needed to move on but she returned," Rebecca stopped talking, Lizette thought about what she had said the air escaped her lungs as she stared cautiously into Rebecca's eyes, "Marlene," Her name rolled off of Lizette's tongue as she lowered her shoulders, "Yes Marlene," Lizette immediately became on edge the frustrations of finding out weighed heavily on her, "I knew there was something, something different about her," She blurted out standing up from the bed, "She's after you Rebecca," Her tone now angry, "She's not, she loves her husband," Rebecca argued trying to cover the truth up. "Bullshit Rebecca she's had designs on you since the first time I saw her in the room with you," She answered as she pouted, "What are you talking about?" Lizette grimaced, "Her hand on your face the look in her eyes, I could see the hurt, she was tormented over your condition," She answered boldly. "What Marlene and I had is over and done with," Rebecca assured her, Lizette felt sick to her stomach, "Maybe for you but not for her," She smirked. Rebecca sighed, "I love you and only you, that's why I'm here, I needed to tell you the truth so there's no secrets or animosity towards her," She versed. "Well I'm sorry but I don't trust her Rebecca," She growled, "You know as well as I do when you lose a love like that and it resurfaces unexpectedly sparks can fly," She strongly warned. Rebecca felt her nostrils flare in anger of the situation.

"Francisco?" She questioned again, Lizette felt guilty she tried to keep it hidden, Rebecca's confessions worrisome, "Cheat?" Lizette asked staving Rebecca off, Rebecca lowered her head, "Yes," She cringed the pit of her stomach knotted, "How? I mean why?" She further asked, "I don't really care to discuss it, knowing I did what I did is enough," She didn't want to talk about it any further. "Marlene," Lizette let her name slip from her lips she looked back at Rebecca, "What will you do?" She narrowed her eyes in continuance, "She's your therapist she touches you," The words Lizette spoke caused her to shudder, "You'll have to deal with it, I'm making great strides and yes we've discussed me changing therapist and she's tried to find me someone else," Rebecca groaned standing up from the bed and clutching Lizette by the shoulders, "But no one is available to take my case right now, I want you home with me, home to help me get through it, I need you Lizette," She bit her lip awaiting an answer from her. "I trust you Rebecca, its her I have an issue with," Rebecca bowed her head, "I want to spend the rest of my life with you, I want you to come home and make plans," She swallowed hard as she begged. "It's a lot to ask, you've just dropped a bombshell on me," She turned away from Rebecca. "Do you love me?" She asked firmly, Lizette slowly turned her head around, "I do, I do love you," She slightly grinned, "Then if you love me as you say you do lets don't wait, marry me," The words she spoke crashed down around her in waves of sudden shock. "Marry?" She felt shaky repeating the word Rebecca had just spoken. "Yes marry, don't you want to?" Rebecca questioned in a plea.

Lizette walked back to Rebecca, "I'm so honored but its sudden," She voiced her heart aching from the fact that she wasn't honest with Rebecca, "I know you love me and I know it's a shock right now but think about what I'm saying Lizette, I'm ready for a commitment, we could be so happy together, do the things we've talked about doing there is nothing standing in our way," Lizette swallowed hard as Rebecca gazed deeply into her eyes, "Can I think about it," She asked meekly, "Yes, how can I stop you?" She added they sat on the bed together, "Right now the only thing I want you to do is make love to me," Lizette begged they crawled back under the covers in the heat of passion. "I hope I didn't hurt or anger you," Lizette spoke wrapping her arms around Rebecca, "I think I scared you," Rebecca giggled poking fun at her, "It shows me how truly committed you really are to me," She felt the pain of her untruthfulness creeping up on her, "I do and you're the one for me its that simple Lizette, I want to make a life with you," Lizette twitched her lip looking back to Rebecca, "How will your family take it? I mean there's no love lost there," She reassured her, "My family will have to deal with it that is if you decide to accept," Her smile warmed Lizette's heart for a brief moment, "I will think about it Rebecca," Their conversation becoming more serious. "Promise me you'll be honest with, yourself and think hard about my proposal," She responded. "I'm hungry, I think a romantic dinner will be perfect," She quickly changed the subject pulling Rebecca from the bed and into the shower.

Marlene flipped through her charts preparing them for her husband's review, "Marlene," Mark quickly opened the door to her office startling her, "I'm about through with the charts if you can wait awhile?" She asked eyeing him he stood erect against the door of her office, "Tomorrow will be fine, I think I'm going home early, I've had a nagging headache all day," He relayed she grinned, "Why don't you go home and rest, I'll be there shortly," He nodded his head. Marlene continued finishing up her paperwork she picked up her cell phone and checked it for any messages from Rebecca but there were none, "Why did you go to her," She spoke in a whisper her anger heightened. Marlene stripped her lab coat and headed for home. Mark riffled through the medicine cabinet looking for some aspirin when he accidently knock a pill packet into the sink he picked it up flipping it over and then right side up his mind wondering what they were he stared hard realizing they were birth control pills. Mark looked in the mirror his anger showed in the redness of his face, "God dammit," He screamed picking the packet of pills back up and wadding them in his hand. Marlene placed the key in the lock and turned it the apartment was quite she crept to the bedroom opening the door slightly, Mark sat clutching his head in his hand, "Mark are you alright?" She calmly questioned him he didn't answer her. "Mark is something wrong?" She further asked walking towards him he picked up the wadded pill packet and in anguish showing it to her she sighed deeply lowering her head, "What's this?" His tone callous, "It's uh, its some birth control pills," She answered pulling her hair away from her face, "And are you taking them?" He stood up tossing them back to the bed.

Marlene's eyes followed his hand as he knotted his fist in anger, "Why?" He sarcastically asked, "Because I'm not ready to have a baby and you won't listen to reason," He shook his head, "Does this have to do with your freak fantasies?" His voice strong and harden. "What? What are you talking about?" She moved closer to him, "You know exactly what the fuck I'm talking about," He slightly pushed her to the side, "Watch your language, I'm your wife!" She exclaimed loudly, "My wife? Really? You've done nothing but lie, our whole life and marriage is nothing but a god damn lie," He screamed at her she closed her eyes clinching her jaw tightly, "Mark please don't," She felt the hurt of his words cutting through her like a jagged knife. "Please don't? I can't believe you nor do I trust you, all you've done is lie about everything, Rebecca, taking birth control, what am I to think?" He began to pace, "Mark I wasn't ready to have a child, we've just married, I'm just getting started in my career, what was I suppose to do?' Huh?" She grasped him by the arm he pulled away from her. "I can't talk to you anymore, you aren't even honest with yourself," She looked at him strangely, "What do you mean by that?" He rested his head against the door, jamb, "You don't want to have a child, hell you don't even want me all because of Rebecca," He revealed. "Mark that's not true how could you say that?" She implored rushing to his side, "I think seeing her again has made you fall for her all over," He tried to be realistic, Marlene just stared the tears streamed down her face, "Why would you think that?" She asked looking for an answer from him, "Because your distracted, you spend a lot of time with her, your eyes light up when she walks into the room, you think I don't see that?" He asked her in a raspy voice she sat down on the bed.

Marlene sobbed, Mark stood there his heart sickened with grief, "I loved you," He worded, "I gave you my everything," He wept, "I never wanted to return here, I wanted a life away from my sadden past, I, we never discussed having a baby, when you asked me to marry, imagine how I must have felt on our wedding night when you sprang it on me, you do things on your own without even consulting me first, this fellowship, subletting our apartment, pushing Rebecca to work with me, you only ever try to smooth it over when I confronted you, this marriage has been one sided since it started," She relayed in a cutting way, "Don't turn things around to make it my fault, don't blame me for your sexual fantasies about your ex lover," He was more confrontational, "Don't put Rebecca in the middle of this Mark she has nothing to do with this argument, you can't use her as a scapegoat because you want a child and I'm not ready to give it, yes I took the pill everyday because bringing a child up in the midst of uncertainty, our careers, I tried to make you see it but you just wouldn't listen, I'm not ready to be saddled with the everyday baby thing, I lost everything I ever had when I lived here, I came to New Haven with the idea that I would find myself a new career and how lucky for me that I did just that and I met you a wonderful giving man whom I love," She rehearsed he looked at her his face washed in tears. "Quit trying to ice it over Marlene, do you know how bad it hurt me to find out you had been with a woman, living a lesbian life? Huh? Do you?" He began to squirm clutching his fist once again. "I didn't think that mattered to you?" She spoke in insistence, "Well it does," He slammed the door to the bedroom leaving Marlene to feel sad and small.


	20. Chapter 20

**CHAPTER XX.**

 **FALLOUT**

Marlene sat on the bed and cried continuously for hours the apartment remained quiet, Mark had left not taking a thing with him she stood collecting herself and made it to the bathroom leaning over the sink she wanted to throw up her life in shreds her husband devastated, "What will I do?" She begged looking at her reflection in the mirror, "My husband hates me, Rebecca doesn't want me," She ran the hand towel across her face the sorrow showed through the darkened rings under eyes. Nothing but turmoil had welcomed her back home she whispered out loud. Marlene washed the pain from her face and straightened her shirt she text her husband and poured herself a stiff but much needed drink, "Come on Mark," She gripped her phone sighing harshly and tossing it to the sofa the door opened causing her to turn around and face a distraught Mark, "Where have you been?" She became anxious, "Do you really care?" He threw his hands in the air, "I do care, I love you and I'm sorry," She answered. "I don't know if I can do this anymore, our lives are a lie and a big disappointment," He commanded standing in the doorway he tossed his keys to the table, "You say our life is a big disappointment, really, you haven't given me a chance do you think I like arguing?" She crossed her arms walking closer to him, "I loved you but I think you are in love with someone else," He replied candidly the look on his face said it all to Marlene. "You're right, I will, always love Rebecca, I left her long ago because what we had and what we shared was over, we couldn't make it work but to tell you I don't love her anymore would be a lie, I left because I never wanted to lose the one thing that meant the most and that was the love we shared," She pursed her lips and awaited a response form him.

"I think we need a cooling off period, I have some things to catch up on at work and I need to return to New Haven for a few days, I hope you understand," He remarked, "When are you leaving?" She had a look of surprise, "The day after tomorrow and I'll take the bedroom upstairs until then," He made his way to the bedroom and began to place some of his clothing in a suitcase, Marlene followed, "I had know idea you planned to return home when did this come up?" She casually asked, "Couple of days ago," He closed the suitcase moving to the bathroom to retrieve his other things without looking at her, "So you knew you would have to go back to New Haven but you failed to tell me?" She question with rigorous action, "What difference does it make now, really, have you listened to anything I've said," He picked up his belongings and headed out the door leaving Marlene standing alone she lowered her head. Marlene walked to the door and slammed it shut she text Grace, "I know it's late but we're in trouble," She sent it and curled up on the bed closing her eyes she couldn't cry anymore she had shed too many tears. Marlene's phone rang, Grace sounded frantic, "He found out Grace," She started, "Do you need me?" She asked not questioning what he knew, " Marlene groaned, "He's coming to New Haven for a few days," She stated. "I knew he had some business with the orthopedic board, I thought he would do it by proxy," There was a moment of silence, "Exactly what does he know?" Marlene hesitated, "About the birth control, my history with Rebecca," She explained telling her everything.

Lizette walked Rebecca to the doors of the Lisbon airport she clutched Lizette in her arms, "I forgot to ask, how long will you be in South Africa?" Lizette ran her fingers through Rebecca's hair, "A week but I promise we will talk seriously when I return," She gently kissed her lips, "I love you," Rebecca smiled. "I have a flight to catch and I don't want to miss my flight," She picked up her carry on giving Lizette another kiss she entered the doors leaving her standing in contemplation of what to do the honk of a car horn caused Lizette to turn around, Francisco awaited her, "I've missed you," He whaled hugging her as she entered the car, "We have a flight to catch, "I've got your luggage he bent over kissing her. "Rebecca has asked me to marry her," She stared into his eyes, "Marry?" He frowned, "Seriously?" He further inquired, "Yes, she loves me and thinks its time for us to settle she's tired of all my traveling and is pushing for a commitment," He became anxious, "And did you say yes?" He pulled the car over into the parking lot, "I haven't, I do love her and it's a hard decision," She had a tear roll down her face she thought of their romantic weekend together, "I will need a little time and when I'm in South Africa, I don't need any distractions from you," She kindly pushed him away. "Lizette your not the marrying kind," He teased trying to get a rise out of her she became more serious, "If I make this commitment then I will have to tell her the truth about you and the reasons we argued the day she had her accident," She voiced sternly, "Some other lover some other time," Francisco reminded her as they walked into the airport.

Rebecca walked into the reception station at St. Vincent's hospital, "May I help you," The reception asked, "I have a therapy appointment with Marlene Blair," The reception rang her office, "She'll be with you in a moment if you would like to have a seat," Rebecca found an unoccupied chair and thumbed through a magazine while she waited, "Rebecca," Marlene called she had her chart in hand, "Oh hey Marlene," She stood up laying the magazine down they walked the hall to the therapy room, "Stretches first," Marlene remained professional rolling the yoga mat out, Rebecca stared with curiosity, "Is everything ok?" She finally asked, "It will be," She didn't directly look at her, "Let's get started," They began her exercises rigorously working without another word between them. "Take a break," Marlene lowered her arms and then sat to the desk taking notes on her charts, "Marlene," Rebecca began, she looked up at her, "I'm trying to keep this professional, isn't that what you wanted?" She grinded her teeth in question, "Hey did something happen?" She touched her hand, "I'll be alright," She answered removing her hand from under Rebecca's. "Can we talk?" She further inquired grasping a lock of Marlene's hair and pulling it away from her face, "I have a break afterwards," She mentioned as they continued finishing up her session.

Marlene and Rebecca walked out to the park adjacent to the hospital finding a bench and settling there, "My husband has had a hard time dealing with the fact that I had a lesbian relationship, we've argued and he's very angry and hurt," She moaned in displeasure, "I can't say that I blame him, he thinks I'm a liar," She rolled her eyes, continuing, "I tried to explain why I didn't tell him and he thinks that I'm still in love with you," She cut an eye to Rebecca. "Wow," She muttered under her breath, "He thinks we need a cooling off period he'll leave for New Haven in the morning for a few days, he's moved upstairs in the apartment," She quit talking giving way to Rebecca, "I'm sorry, I think he really does love you and maybe this time away will give him strength to face you," She worded feeling guilty, "That's not the worst of it," She responded, Rebecca swallowed hard, "What do you mean?" She asked abruptly, "He's pressured me about having a child, he found out I was taking the pill and he went off, completely, I've never seen him like that and it scared me Rebecca," She wept, Rebecca felt sorrowful, "Marlene he could unravel," She warned firmly. "I don't know, I really don't know what to do, I'm not sure he will be able to accept the way things are he thinks I've done nothing but lie he told me our whole relationship is nothing but a lie," She slapped her hands to her sides. Rebecca clasped Marlene by the elbow, "I worry about you and I feel responsible somehow," Marlene assured her she had nothing to do with his outrage that she was the cause.

Mark sat his luggage by the door checking his passport as Marlene came from the bedroom, "I know you don't want to talk to me but," He looked sharply at her, "What's there to talk about? I can't believe anything you say," He placed his passport in his jacket pocket, "You've ignored me all week, people at the hospital are beginning to talk and your not being fair," She walked in front of him. "Fair? I'm not fair?" He questioned pointing to himself. "Mark please, please listen to me, I can only apologize so many times, you have to decide what you want you can't leave me hanging like this, I'm your wife," She clutched him by the arms, "I need time to think, I've told you this, I have to go, I'll miss my flight," He pulled away from her picking up his suitcase and leaving closing the door. Marlene sunk to the sofa she stared at the gold band on her finger and shook her head a knock came to the door she hurried thinking Mark had returned wanting to talk, "Did you," She began swinging the door open, Rebecca stood meekly knowing Marlene was disappointed it wasn't Mark. "Hoping it was your husband?" She finally spoke after a brief stare, "Yes," She clutched the door and then showed Rebecca in. "I really was concerned for you and I wanted to check on you," She voiced, "Coffee?" Marlene asked pulling a cup from the cabinet, "Sure," Rebecca replied sitting on the sofa she fixed their coffee and joined Rebecca, "He left awhile ago and he wasn't very talkative," She took a sip of her coffee, "Do you think he'll come back?" She asked, "It's a fellowship he has to he signed an oath so to speak," She relayed they enjoyed their coffee, "Marlene I should tell you something, something about my trip to see Lizette," She looked at her with sadness as she spoke, "Are things alright, I mean you look sad," Rebecca sipped her coffee, "We had a good visit and Lisbon is beautiful this time of year," She was suddenly at a loss for words. "Some how I don't think you're here to discuss the weather in Lisbon," She shifted herself closer to Rebecca. Rebecca gave a half grin, "I told Lizette about you," Marlene looked at her taking in a deep breath.

"I wanted her to know that you were the one with whom I shared my life with and she wasn't surprised, we talked about why I kept it from her for so long, I don't think she'll threaten you about it," She sat her cup on the coffee table, "As I've told you, Mark knows everything, well almost everything," She stood up placing her hand to her forehead, "Did you tell her we've slept together?" Rebecca cleared her throat, "No, no I didn't, my feelings were if I told her she would certainly walk out on me and I want to work it out with her, I love her Marlene," Marlene could feel her heart begin to beat rapidly, "What happened to us?" Marlene sat back next to her. "We grew apart and we weren't happy and I couldn't see it for what it was," Rebecca answered looking at her strangely, "But you know this and it was a long time ago," She reminded her, "I know there are so many reasons I should've stayed," Marlene voiced, "Hey you made the right choice, we've discussed this, I'm sorry that your in love with me but the truth is I've asked Lizette to marry me," There was dead silence in the room Marlene could only stare, "Please say something," Rebecca implored quietly, "Oh, uh, I, I'm happy for you, what did she say?" She fished for an answer, "She was excited but not really sure that marriage is what she wants at this point so I left her to go to South Africa and think she'll be home in a week and I hope she will have an answer," She replied, Marlene breathed in a sigh of relief she started thinking of how she could make Rebecca see that their love for one another was genuine, "What if she's say's no," Marlene questioned with curiosity, "I don't know, if she does I'll have to rethink things, I want a commitment and if she's not willing then," She closed her mouth not saying another word. "I know you don't want to hear this but I love you, please don't rule us out," Marlene added.

"Marlene, I, I just told you that I wanted a life with Lizette why do you do this to yourself, your married and you would have had a life with him had you not come back here," She frowned as she spoke, "But he is not my fate or my destiny and there was a reason why we returned here and why you and I crossed paths again and so closely," She rehearsed. Rebecca stood up from the sofa, "I should go," She didn't want to talk anymore about their past relationship. "Listen to your heart Rebecca that's all I'm asking," She followed her to the door, "Us, you and I doing the things we never got to do," She pleaded, "I can't Marlene, I just can't, I'm sorry," She hurried out of the apartment building not looking back at Marlene. Marlene slowly closed the door and leaned against it she rubbed her face in her hands, she felt the doorknob turning she pulled away, Thomas entered, "Marlene are you alright?" He asked with concern she could feel her knees buckling. "No dad I'm not," She cried out he took her by the hand and led her back to the sofa they sat down his look serious. "Your sister seems to think your in a dilemma," She wiped the tears away her vision blurred, "I've made a mess of things," She started off, Thomas gave her a crass look, "Let me guess, Rebecca?" He was straight and to the point, "I never thought I would see her again," She replied, "Dana told me of the accident and that Mark did the surgery and you've done the therapy," He answered her, "I let it get out of control and," She abruptly quit talking pursing her lips, "Did you tell Mark of your past?" He asked caressing his daughter's face in an attempt to ease her. "I did and he has it in his mind that I betrayed him and wasn't honest about a lot of things," Thomas clinched his jaw, "I told you on your wedding day that you should've told him everything, do you love him enough to see this through? I mean obviously he's dealt you pain over it," He questioned bluntly.

"That's not the half of it," She stood up before continuing, "He's pressured me to have a child," She looked directly at her father. Thomas flinched, "Now, here? Marlene you've just married and started a career, all that hard work would be put to the side if you had a child right now?" His voice bold as he spoke, "Exactly, that's what I told him but he's adamant and has pushed me in a corner, we never discussed having a baby before we became engaged and married, he blindsided me and I was taking birth control without him knowing he found out and blew up and accused me of all sorts of things, I should have told the truth about the pill but he's difficult to reason with, when he wants something he just does it without even giving me a thought, I never wanted to come back and live here, never," She was adamant as she paced, "Obviously he wanted to surprise you, make you happy," Thomas stood up behind her, "He made this decision without telling me or even asking me how I felt, I just started my career dad, he sublet the apartment, I had no idea until he told me on the day he met with the tenant ," She rolled her eyes, "And where does Rebecca fit into all of this?" He sternly questioned, Marlene found it hard to speak, "I love her dad, I know that's not what you wanted to hear," He lowered his head, "You'll never be happy with Mark if you've rekindle anything with Rebecca," He strongly advised, "I've made myself clear to her of my feelings but she doesn't feel the same, she's moved on and has told me more that once that we've had our time," Thomas sighed deeply, "Somehow I don't think you've told me everything," Marlene hesitated. "Do you know how difficult it is to work so closely with someone you have shared your life with?" She began to tear up, "To touch them to smile at one another to find that lost love you let get away?" Thomas didn't speak listening carefully.

"I thought she would feel the same, at least the time we've spent together has been special and I've made a difference in her life, however sleeping with her probably wasn't a good idea," She faced her father with a remorseful look, "Uh huh," He remarked shaking his head, "Well she must feel something, I don't think Rebecca would let that happen if there wasn't a spark of some sort," He crossed his arms and awaited a response, "I felt the same way but she's denied my love and she won't tell me that she loves me and she's asked her girlfriend to marry," Marlene answered rationally. "Hmmm and did she accept?" Marlene frowned, "No or at least not yet she's away on a work assignment and Rebecca hopes that when she returns she will have a decision, I love Mark dad but I just don't want to hurt him anymore, I'm in love with Rebecca and I don't care what it takes, I have to make her see it," She voiced, "You have your mind made up I see so what will you tell Mark?" Thomas goaded, "When he returns from New Haven he deserves to know the truth, how I really feel, I can't keep denying my heart and if by chance Rebecca can't accept me then I'll have to make a decision about moving on." She closed her eyes dreaming of Rebecca.


	21. Chapter 21

**XXI**

 **Second chances**

"Hey," Rebecca seemed surprised as she noticed Lizette standing in the bedroom, "I didn't hear you come in," She walked over to her grabbing her by the waist, they kissed. "My assignment ended earlier than I expected so, I'm home," She smiled breaking away from Rebecca, "Are you upset?" Rebecca shrugged, as she asked, "No I'm fine, actually you've been in my thoughts, what we talked about," She brought it up front and center, Rebecca grinned, "You've made a decision?" She firmly asked not taking her eyes from her, "I have," She remained serious, "I love you Rebecca and I want more than anything to marry you but there are so many things about me, things we've never really discussed," Lizette became sullen. "I love you too and I wouldn't have asked if I thought we wouldn't be great together," She embraced her tightly, "My past isn't the greatest," She wept, "Obviously you have a past with someone with whom your in close contact with," Lizette continued with caution, "Marlene is not up for discussion, yes she is my past and I can't change the fact she's part of my life Lizette and she always will be," She spoke sternly, "I just don't trust the situation with her, I think as I have before that she's after you," Rebecca's heart pounded erratically, "Why would you think that?" Lizette grimaced, "Because you had something together and I think she's wanting to rekindle what you had, that's all I'm saying Rebecca," She worded strongly. "Lizette be reasonable she's just my therapist and nothing more," She became guarded. "You may not realize it but she has feelings for you Rebecca," Rebecca thought momentarily she knew exactly what Marlene's feelings were.

Marlene quietly sat at her desk filling out the last of her reports for the day she checked her cell phone for any messages from Mark but there wasn't any she sighed tossing her phone down to the desk. Marlene's office phone began to ring she answered. "Mrs. Blair a Lizette Marlow is here to see you," Marlene swallowed hard, "Yes have her come in," She sat back in her chair, Lizette entered, "Marlene," She walked up to her desk, "And what can I do for you today?" She asked smugly, "Rebecca," She arched her brow sitting down, "What about her?" She played on her words, "I guess she hasn't told you she asked me to marry her," Marlene groaned under her breath, "Uh no, why would she?" She asked pretending not to know. "Marlene, I know all about you and Rebecca," She voiced with an impish grin, "Know what?" Marlene questioned clearing her throat. "I know about your past with her she told me," Marlene just stared, "Yes its true we were in love, together once but that was a longtime ago, I'm married and she has you," She smiled with sarcasm, "Marlene somehow I don't think you care about who she's with or the fact your married," Marlene stood up and turned looking out the window, "I wouldn't do anything to hurt Rebecca or ruin my marriage," She could feel the angst of lying creeping up on her, "What is it that you want Lizette?" She further asked. "I want you to back away from Rebecca find her someone else to do her therapy, leave us alone," Marlene cocked her head back and stared blankly at her. "Well?" Lizette smirked, "I think you should ask Rebecca how she feels about it," Marlene put the ball in her court.

Mark quickly left the board meeting room, "Well I'm glad we were able to resolve those issues," David spoke noticing Mark was preoccupied, "Mark," David slapped his hand to the top of his shoulder, "What's wrong? You've been distant since you've been here," They walked outside onto the steps in front of the hospital, Mark sighed deeply, "There are things, things about Marlene and our marriage," He stopped talking and appeared upset, "Is everything alright, Grace hasn't mentioned a thing," He started to speak, "I need a drink," Mark voiced they walked down the street to a bar and sat down ordering whiskey. "Mark, are you not happy? I mean when we left everything seemed normal," He looked at him strangely, "Marlene wasn't truthful about certain things, her past, especially about her marriage and her life after her divorce," He began taking a swig of the whiskey in his glass, "I don't understand what you mean, your married now and her life is with you," Mark gave him a sharp look, "Rebecca," He spoke her name his throat tightened, "What about her?" He asked, "Marlene and Rebecca had a life together at one time," David grunted, "Well I'm sure they were good friends she was married to her brother, surely they were close," He gave Marlene the benefit of the doubt. "They were in love and lived together as a couple," He snidely laughed taking another sip of his drink, "What?" David appeared shocked, "Why would you say that, Marlene is not a lesbian," He responded Mark flagged the waitress down for another drink, "I asked her David and she didn't deny it," David was at a loss for words. "I wished she would've been honest, why did she lie, cover it up? Do you think she was to embarrassed to admit to me or anyone here that she had an affair with a woman?" Mark asked twirling the ice in his glass.

David appeared perplexed, "Grace didn't say a thing, I wonder if she even knows," He retorted wanting to get to the bottom of it, "Does it matter? Grace is her best friend they have secrets I'm sure," Mark recanted. "What will you do?" He questioned, "I don't know, I have to return to Düsseldorf tomorrow and I'm sure she is anticipating what move I'll make," David frowned, "Surely you'll forgive her, not telling you about something that was very private and part of her past," Mark abruptly cut in, "That's only part of it, you know I want to have a child with her she's put me off and is non committal about it, well she lied about that too, she's been taking the pill and I found out by mistake, she wasn't truthful David and I just can't abide by her lying," David could see the redness in his face begin to surface, "Wow, seems maybe your really not happy after all that everything you thought you had with her was a big mistake," They ordered another whiskey, "I love her and this has been hard on me, I don't know what else she's lied about and it will be difficult to trust her again," He shook his head, "Do you want to work on your marriage or come back here and live in depression?" He quizzed frankly. Mark raised his eyes to him, "I have a lot to think about," He finished his drink, "I don't think I'll be good company, if you'll excuse me I think I need a hot shower and some sleep," David followed him out they walked back to the hospital, "Grace will be disappointment," Mark rolled his eyes, "You understand?" He questioned firmly, "I do," He grinned. Mark called a cab to take him back to the hotel.

David entered the apartment Grace sat relaxing on the sofa, "Hey where have you been and where's Mark?" She became curious, "Back at the hotel he's not feeling well, we had a few drinks, talked," David placed his arm around Grace as he sat on the sofa with her, "Can I ask you something?" He started off, "Yeah, sure," Grace seemed amused at his strange gaze, "Mark told me he and Marlene are having problems," Grace grimaced, "Have you talked to her?" He further asked, "Not in a couple of days, what did Mark say?" She fished for an answer, "He said Marlene admitted to him that she had a love relationship with Rebecca," He furrowed his brow, Grace rubbed her hands together, "Did you know?" He asked in a probing manner, "Marlene has been through a lot, school, job a new marriage and then to be faced with returning home where things weren't so good, yes she shared with me about Rebecca but only when we visited there, I knew something was up between them," David groaned interrupting her, "Why didn't you tell me?" He felt left out. "Marlene was feeling the stress and she hadn't shared that part of her past with him, she just wanted to forget Rebecca and the reasons things didn't work out for them," Grace responded truthfully, David rubbed his face with his hands, "You knew that Mark and Marlene were trying to have a baby," He relayed continuing, "Mark discovered she was taking the pill and had been lying to him, I think he's angry and hurt enough that this marriage won't last," He voiced sadly. "I knew Marlene wasn't ready to have a baby, I told her several times she needed to be honest with Mark but she said he continually pressured her and she didn't want to hurt or anger him," She stated, "I think our friends are in trouble," David remarked embracing Grace.

Marlene sat quietly at her desk deep in thought, "Mark will be home this evening," She spoke under her breath startled by the ringing of her desk phone, "Ms. Von Lahnstein is here, shall I have her wait in the therapy room?" The receptionist asked, "Yes, I'll be down in a few minutes she collected herself and slipped on her lab coat she picked up Rebecca's chart and met her in the therapy room, "Hey," she tried to be cheery, "Hey," Rebecca spoke back they began her stretching exercises, "I guess your husband hasn't returned," Rebecca felt her out, "This evening and I can only imagine his mood," She slightly trembled, "I'm sorry, sorry he didn't take it very well about you and I," Rebecca versed staring her in the eyes, "I should have been truthful, I love you and there was absolutely nothing for me to be ashamed about, you were my whole life and a very important part of my past, I'm not ashamed of you, I want you to know that," Marlene spoke sensibly, "I wish things were different," Rebecca mentioned her expression intense as they did her therapy, "We can't continue to play this game," Marlene finally spoke, "Lizette came to see me again," She added Rebecca curled her lips, "What?" She seemed miffed, "She confronted me and threw it in my face about your proposal and relationship, I, just can't do this with you anymore," She placed her face in her hands, "Marlene," Rebecca moved closer touching her, "Please don't Rebecca," Rebecca in an instant of sorrow pulled her hands away from her face, "You are so beautiful, I, I," Marlene interjected, "Don't say anything, don't say things you don't mean and then can't back up," She became curt removing Rebecca's hands from hers. "I have to go," Rebecca hurried feeling the strain of the work out nagging at her leg, Marlene said nothing she just watched as Rebecca gathered her things and left without looking back at her.

Mark picked up his luggage at the baggage claim and fetched his cell phone from his pocket he felt tired from his trip but desperately wanted to see and talk to Marlene, he dialed her number. "Hello," She sweetly answered, "Hey, I'm at the airport and when I get back to the apartment we need to talk," He voices rationally, "I'll be waiting," They hung up. Marlene began to pace arranging in her mind just what she was going to say to Mark she heard the lock on the door click she stood motionless in the living room as entered the apartment. "Hey," He stated setting his luggage inside the door, "Long trip?" She plainly asked, "Too long," He attempted a grin. "You wanted to talk?" She asked sitting on the sofa and clasping her hands together, "I think we should," He joined her, "Marlene," He began his gray eyes narrowed his lips pursed as he massaged his jawline, "I love you, regardless of our arguments or your failures to tell me things," She groaned he raised his hand up to her, "Please let me say what I need to, I think after everything that's happened you owe me that at least," His eyes now keen on hers, "Ok," She murmured, "Lying is unacceptable in this relationship and I just can't deal with secrets or hidden agendas from you, I don't know what happened to you while you were here, I know that you floored me about Rebecca, your past with her, I knew you had been raped but why didn't you tell me you were pregnant and had an abortion?" He appeared melancholy to her as if he thought deeply about her being pregnant and giving up the child. "It was hard Mark, I mean I was raped and uncertain if the child was his or Tristan's, I struggled dealing with it all, the trial, his sentencing weighed heavy on me, there was a lot of fear and doubts and finding out I was pregnant worried me, what if got out of prison? Wanted parental rights?" She questioned aloud.

Mark sighed getting up and pouring himself a drink, "I just don't know if I can ever trust you again, I've asked you not to see Rebecca anymore but you won't," He sat back down, "I'm not going to stop her therapy and we've had this conversation, you can't control me or my life and I'm not going to be subservient because you think I should be as your wife, I don't see where we can work this out Mark," She finally got the gall to tell him, "Do you love me?" He asked upfront, "I do love you, you're my husband but I've always felt that things should be equal, give and take, things shared together and not apart, I was wrong for not telling you about my past and if I could do it over again then things would be different," She admonished, "Were you ashamed of her, your relationship?" He asked with some sensitivity, "Never, I loved her deeply, was it a struggle at first? Yes, finding out that you have feelings for a woman, denying them, her emotional state, my emotional state," She rehearsed honestly, "But no matter how hard we tried we just couldn't make it work, neither of us were happy, I've told you this and I've moved on and started a new life one without her, I married you but sometimes you just don't seem to reason it," She further added. "I can't just say everything between us is alright, it will take time and I don't want to be the talk of the hospital, rumors are annoying and I have enough to deal with learning this system, the Doctors but if you're willing to work on our marriage, I am," He became emotional as did Marlene.

Rebecca dressed for dinner, as Lizette came in quietly closing the door to the orangery, "Where have you been?" Rebecca announced walking from the bathroom, "Out, why?" She felt tested by Rebecca's questioning, "You went to see Marlene today?" Lizette moaned lowly, "Really Rebecca, Marlene has to know about us, your proposal," She walked into the bathroom, "Why does she need to know?" She arched her brow and rolled her eyes, "Do you think this is some type of competition between the two of you?" She placed her hands to her hips staring harshly at Lizette, "Leave Marlene alone and out of this she's not a threat and she doesn't need the stress," Rebecca added becoming guarded, "When will you be through with this physical therapy thing?" She complained like a child, "A few weeks why?" Rebecca asked sternly, "Because, I'm tired of this the angst the bullshit," She worded rudely, Rebecca sighed with contempt, "Don't make it a habit to visit Marlene every time you feel she's a threat or your afraid, you have absolutely nothing to worry about," She warned her knowing that eventually she would have to tell her the truth about their affair, Lizette crossed her arms, "Are you going to get ready for dinner?" Rebecca asked staring at her through the mirror's reflection, "I had a late lunch and I'm not really that hungry besides I need to make a few phone calls, my father for one," She relayed, "Suit yourself," Rebecca left her to contemplate their conversation. Lizette waited to hear the door closing before she quickly called Francisco, "Hey beautiful," He spoke on the other end, "Hello, I miss you," She whaled, "Come to Puerto Rico, I'm doing a shoot there this weekend, I could get you in just say the word," He offered in a sexual tone she sighed, "I don't know, I want to and I love Puerto Rico this time of year," Lizette mumbled sitting on the bed, "I want to see you," He enticed her, "Book me and text me when you get confirmation," She giggled, they hung up.

Rebecca yawned rolling over and facing Lizette, "Busy day?" She asked tracing the bridge of Rebecca's nose with her fingers, "Yes, I have to go in to LCL today and meet with the designers, we have work to do on the upcoming fall show," She climbed from the bed, "What's your plans today?" She looked back at her, "I haven't decided, I could go with you and work on the cat walk," She smiled sitting up in the bed and stretching, "Now that's what I want t hear, you by my side, working with me, have you thought anymore about my proposal?" She asked taking her by the hand, "I have and," They were suddenly interrupted by the chime of her text.


	22. Chapter 22

**CHAPTER XXII.**

 **Broken promises**

Rebecca awaited a word from Lizette as she answered her text she could tell by the silly grin on her face a modeling gig had come open, "Who's that?" She finally interrupted her, "An offer," She answered in a child like manner, "Where?" Rebecca grunted, "A four day in Puerto Rico," She giggled loudly, Rebecca crossed her arms in disappointment, "I thought we were going to spend some time together, work on our relationship, you promised!" Rebecca exclaimed loudly. Lizette could feel the unbridled tension exuding from Rebecca, "I'm sorry but this a chance for me to make a little extra money, we could take a trip somewhere exciting at the end of the summer," She tried to be reasonable but felt the guilt of lying stabbing at her like a tiny knife. "Money? I have money and enough for us to take trip anywhere we want to go, this is just an excuse to steal away and avoid us, me and this marriage proposal, cancel the trip," Rebecca ordered, "I can't do that, I'm in and you know that if I did it would ruin my reputation and could hinder any chances of me getting future work," She pouted telling Rebecca. "Lizette, I'm begging you to reconsider, please for us, I want to work on this relationship and it should be important to you also," Rebecca moaned, "I love you isn't that enough?" She became slightly agitated. "Why don't you want this? I don't understand but if you go it will lessen our chances," Rebecca stopped talking, "Are you threatening me?" She questioned with amusement. "I can't continue like this, I want a real relationship one with you by my side working, living, traveling," She answered her sternly.

Lizette sat on the bed and lowered her face in her hands, "Rebecca, I'm not ready to give up modeling and I want to work as long as I possibly can, I do love you but I don't want to live here permanently, you could go with me, we've talked of traveling, seeing new places, please go with me," She took Rebecca by the hands. "I can't, not now, I have the fashion show to work on and I've already been away from LCL too long are you forgetting I've had a lot of trauma in the last two years?" She became adamant, "Are you forgetting you told me we could travel when you asked me to marry you?" She shot back with a quick response. Rebecca took in a deep breath, "Just go, do what makes you happy," She advised in a cool but aloof tone, Lizette breathed in a sigh of relief, "I promise when I return I'll take things more serious and I'll be here for a few more days and I can help you at LCL just as I said I would," She mildly argued her point, Rebecca's mind wondered back to the promises she had made to Marlene but failed to fulfill most of the time, she lowered her shoulders, "It doesn't matter, I know too much about empty promises," She voiced quietly, Lizette cocked her brow and squinted her eyes at her, "Are we talking about Marlene?" She prodded firmly, "Yes, I made those same types of promises to her, I didn't care, I worked constantly trying to make a name for myself, my family pressured me to make strides for LCL, I'm dedicated to what I do, I hurt her deeply and we argued constantly," She looked at her trying to reason with herself. "I don't want to make those promises Rebecca and then not fulfill them, I love you," she grasped her arms drawing her closer.

Lizette released her grasp, "Make love to me," She threw her arms over the top of Rebecca's shoulders their lips met in a teasing kiss she took her hand and laid her across the bed they shed their clothing and made love. "Tell me about her," Lizette whispered to a closed eyed Rebecca, "I loved her very much, she was married to Hagen first, I went to New York and when I returned home they were divorced and she had taken up with Tristan, Marlene went through a lot," She became silent placing her hands behind her head and staring up at the ceiling, "What happened?" She asked curiously, "She was raped and found out she was pregnant, she couldn't keep it because the rape was front and center in her mind, she had an abortion, I was there for her as a friend but my friendship with her grew into something much more it was painful, I had to hide what I felt and I didn't want to hurt my brother but my love was too strong and I confessed to her my feelings," She turned her face to look at Lizette she appeared intrigued by her story. "Go on," Rebecca cleared her throat and continued, "She took it very hard, my feelings, she fought me and when I realized she'd never feel the same way as I did, I distanced myself from her she couldn't handle what she was truly feeling until the pressure of it all was too great and she gave in to her desires and needs, she kept me close knowing that she was in love with me but she denied it and made my life miserable as well as her own, she lied to Tristan, me and her family she was going to marry him, I begged her not to, to give us a chance that we would be good together she did the unthinkable and left Tristan at the alter on their wedding day," She sighed loudly.

"Well I'm glad," Lizette chimed in Rebecca frowned asking, "Glad about what?" She turned on her side, "That it didn't work out, you wouldn't be mine," She giggled puckering her lips in a teasing way, Rebecca became serious, "I really do love you," She spoke but her mind trailed back to her passionate affair with Marlene quietness blanketed the room, "What are you thinking?" Lizette broke the silence. "Nothing really," She responded still thinking of Marlene she felt strange as if she needed to see her. Rebecca arose from the bed and began to dress, "What's wrong? Come back to bed," Lizette pleaded, "I really need to go to LCL, I have work to do," She answered but could feel a slight headache coming on, "I'll get dressed and go with you," She replied, "No you stay here, I'll call you, I forgot I have some business to take care of," She quickly dressed leaving Lizette in bed. "Can we meet?" The text read to Marlene, "I'm really busy," She responded, "Please," Rebecca begged a meeting was arranged at the park by LCL a favorite bench they use to share over lunch and other good times. Rebecca sat down rubbing her temples trying to relax, Marlene crept up on her, "Oh hey, thank you for meeting me," She looked up to her, "Mark was asleep and then had rounds to make for Dr. Kessler so I could get away for awhile, are you alright?" She looked at her strangely, "I'm not," She shook her head tightly. "What's wrong?" She touched her shoulder in sincerity, "I'm beginning to have headaches again and I try to sleep but the day of my accident keeps trying to emerge," She spoke with anguish, "Could it be the stress of everything that's causing your headaches?" Marlene asked with concern.

"Walk?" Rebecca motioned pointing towards the stand of trees that bordered the side of LCL, Marlene obliged they walked down the narrow path to the well shaded area Rebecca turned to Marlene taking her hand, "Don't," Marlene pulled it away, Rebecca grabbed for it again grasping it tightly, "Rebecca I need to work things out with my husband, I've already made a mess of both my life and your life and I can't continue on like this," She had sadness in her voice, "You said you loved me," Rebecca added releasing her hand, "I do but its not what you wanted," Marlene gazed at her looking for conformation, "I'm confused about a lot of things right now," She began rubbing her temples again she felt her judgment was clouded, "Lizette hasn't given me a firm answer she doesn't want to give up her career just yet, I don't know," She appeared worrisome to Marlene, "I can't be a rebound for you Rebecca, I'm already in a great deal of trouble with my marriage, if Mark knew I was here," She shuddered to think covering her eyes with her hand, "Mark is getting controlling Marlene, I know you've had arguments about us, your previous life has caught up with you and my therapy just adds to the misery," She stated firmly. "I don't love him," She finally let the words slip, "I mean I do love him in certain ways but I'm not in love with him," Marlene couldn't help herself she moved closer to Rebecca clutching her by the waist she stared directly into the deepness of her brown eyes she wanted so desperately to kiss her the curve of her lips beckoned her she closed her eyes pressing her lips against Rebecca's in a gentle but untamed kiss. Rebecca allowed Marlene's tongue to explore her mouth she drew tightness to it holding it in place with the force of her own tongue.

Marlene pulled back, "I've asked you this before does she kiss you the way I do?" Her whisper caused a stir in Rebecca, "No, I've never been kissed like this," She answered truthfully, "Does she hold you with great command like I do? Does her hands touch you like this?" Marlene took the back of her hand and sweetly caressed the skin on the side of Rebecca's face, Rebecca lowered her head and then quickly looked back up, "Please come inside with me," She again begged Marlene. They in fast pace made their way up to an unoccupied office standing in front of the sofa that was centered in the room Rebecca brushed the throw pillows off with her hand as she slipped Marlene's shirt over her head, their lips meeting in a frenzy of sexual kisses, lips and tongues managed to cover necks and faces they stood nude in the dim light of the office Marlene's hands guided Rebecca into a laying position on the sofa Rebecca sank into it, Marlene mounted her the strands of her blond hair encompassed them as they kissed passionately fingertips played wildly upon each other's skin. Rebecca brushed Marlene's hair back gazing into the beautiful blue eyes that were watching her, "I want to feel you inside of me, I want you to show me how much you love me," Rebecca teased her with her erotic words the tip of Marlene's tongue traveled to the outline of Rebecca's breast her nipples hard she kissed them and grasped them between her teeth, Rebecca moaned loudly her hand play becoming more intense along Marlene's backside. "I love you," Marlene groaned, Rebecca arched her head and neck back the tension she felt had left her, her mind clear and free of any guilt or worry. Marlene could feel the tugging of Rebecca's hands on her buttocks she pushed her tighter against her their mounds locked together. Marlene became more passionate kissing every inch of Rebecca's taut abdomen.

Rebecca's hands wondered playfully to the top of Marlene's shoulders pushing her down between her legs where her void awaited penetration Marlene obliged her slipping her tongue deep inside of her causing Rebecca to pant and wriggle out of control until she climaxed repeatedly, "How you make me feel," Rebecca managed to get the words out, Marlene continued kissing and caressing her she clutched her bare waist massaging it as she did. Rebecca slid out from under her mounting her as Marlene locked her arms around her backside, "Show me how you really feel," Marlene begged sexually they kissed wildly, Rebecca held her breasts in her hands and rubbed them she teased the hardness of Marlene's nipples, Marlene raised her body up to meet Rebecca's wholly. "I want every part of you," Rebecca whispered, "You have every part of me," She voiced back as Rebecca spread her legs and entered her with steady strokes of her tongue until she brought her to numerous orgasms. They lay face to face spent from the emotional love making they had just encountered, "What are you thinking," Marlene asked lowly, Rebecca remained quiet momentarily, "I'm thinking about how I continue to hurt the woman I love and how I lose all control when I'm with you, the temptation is too strong for me to resist you," Marlene grinned listening to Rebecca. "Sex was never an issue between us Rebecca," Marlene reminded her and then chuckled her cell phone began to ring startling them both she fumbled for it, "God its Mark," She started to answer, Rebecca grabbed it from her and tossed it on the coffee table, "Can we just forget about him and Lizette right now?" She surprised Marlene with her aggressiveness, "Whatever you say," Marlene answered rolling on top of Rebecca and began kissing her again.

Marlene casually walked into the apartment to find Mark sitting on the sofa with a drink in his hand, "Where have you been?" He calmly questioned, "Out, I had errands, why?" She replied, "I came home from the hospital, you weren't here and I tried to call, you didn't answer," He remarked snidely. "I didn't hear my phone, I'm sorry," She moved closer to him, "Why do I get the feeling your lying again," He spoke curtly, "What now, you don't trust me, you just told me you wanted to work on our relationship and now you think I'm lying," She became exasperated at his news. "Then you won't mind answering me, where have you been?" He questioned again, "I had errands and I'm not about to argue with you," She started to walk away, "You've been with Rebecca haven't you?" She stopped dead in her tracks at his comment, "What gave you that idea?" She crossed her arms and bellowed, "I can't think of anywhere else you would be except with her," He stood up from the sofa making his way towards her, "I don't understand your infatuation with her, really," Marlene felt guilty and unguarded. "I don't want to discuss her, why are you bringing her up, you should get over it, I have," She left him standing in the living room he slammed his drinking glass down on the bar and followed her to the bedroom he grabbed Marlene by the arm pulling her into him, "I want you," He attempted to kiss her she pulled back, "Stop it Mark," His grip tighter, "Please your hurting me," Her tone serious, "Come on Marlene its been days surely you want it," His voice cocky, "Mark your scaring me, please," The rape of her past was now front and center in her mind, "I'm your husband Marlene or are you forgetting that?" He started to unbutton his shirt. "Mark don't, how can you want this in your frame of mind?" He tossed his shirt to the floor, "I'm not in any frame of mind your my wife!" He exclaimed repeating himself. "I don't want to argue and I don't want to have sex your out of control," She pushed herself, passed him fleeing the bedroom.

Mark in a fit of anger screamed at her, "Your sleeping with her aren't, you? I mean where else would you have been if you weren't with her, errands my ass," He laid his face in his hands and began to sob, Marlene lowered her shoulders the fear of their heated encounter showed in the sadness of her blue eyes, "Why are you putting a guilt trip on me? Why are you driving yourself insane over someone from my past? Don't blame her she's really innocent in all of this, you wanted me to work with her, I told you I wasn't comfortable with the situation but you insisted and when I told you the truth about her, us you flew of the handle, your out of control and angry all the time, jealousy can be dangerous, I've never seen you like this, these rages and all the pent up anger is scaring me Mark," He looked up from his hands, "I'm totally confused by it all, my perfect little wife, I don't like lying and if your sleeping with her you've crossed the line professionally Marlene," She slightly lowered her head, "I wouldn't do a thing to hurt her, she's been through a lot and I'm not about to ruin my career by flaunting it all over the hospital," She firmly added. He thought briefly, "How could you do this to us?" He blurted out coldly, "I don't expect for you to understand Mark but I love her," She could feel the air escaping her lungs the tension leaving her as she said those words he was speechless at first, "So what your saying is the truth? You love her and not me?" Marlene sighed, "I do love you but she and I have a history, I can't help the way I feel Mark, seeing her again," Mark felt his heart sink to his feet the anger he felt now turned to sadness and despair. "Does she feel the same? She has a girlfriend," Marlene hung her head, "She does love Lizette and she's happy, what do you want me to say?" She implored.

"Were you going to leave me?" He boldly asked, "I don't know there are things that I'm not happy about, coming here, the apartment being sublet without my knowledge or asking me how I felt about any of it, you insist on having a baby right now, its not what I want, I've worked hard for this career and being saddled with a child will mean I will never get ahead, we never discussed any of these things and it hurt me and made me feel small when you took it upon yourself to make decisions without including me," Her look was stoic, "I guess my behavior of late has been a challenge for you," He remarked jamming his hands into the pockets of his blue jeans, "Your actions and reactions frighten me Mark," She wept as she spoke the pain she endured shot through her heart all she could do was stare at the man she once thought she fell in love with his attitude harden his anger unrelenting. "Stop lying Marlene and stop sleeping with her it doesn't look good," He growled leaving the room.


	23. Chapter 23

**CHAPTER XXIII**

 **I remember**

"Oh your still here, what a pity," Tristan implied folding the newspaper up and laying it across the breakfast table, Lizette looked at him with anguish, "Where's Rebecca?" He further questioned. "She's speaking with Elisabeth and why do you care?" She snapped back, Tristan chuckled, "My, my we aren't getting along?" He gave her the eye, Lizette sat across from him, "Actually Rebecca has asked me to marry," She sharply smiled taunting him, "Hmmm, really and what did you say?" He caught her off guard, "Uh, I told her I wasn't ready," He grinned widely, "Not ready to give up the life of slut?" His questioning hardened in a rude response, "Stop it, why can't you see I love your sister and we're good together, so what if I like my job the travel, it wasn't that long ago that Rebecca was the same way, everything was about fashion and LCL or did you manage to forget that?" She scolded him abruptly, "Me?" He pointed to himself, "You must be daft the only reason Rebecca isn't front and center in LCL is because of you, I'm not forgetting a damn thing!" He exclaimed loudly, Lizette became numbed by his callousness, "One day Rebecca will remember everything and when she does you'll be a lost memory a collection of unwanted trash tossed out on the street," He spoke in a huff getting up from the table and storming out. Lizette squirmed in her chair she was alone in the dining room she felt uncomfortable, sick and angered at Tristan's heated words.

Elisabeth and Rebecca finished going over the quarterly reports, "I'm starved and in need of a cup of coffee," Rebecca chimed in, Elisabeth lay the documents to the side, "How are things going?" Rebecca lowered her head, "Good, I've asked Lizette to marry me," She quickly looked back up, "And what was her response?" Elisabeth asked curious of her answer, "She's not ready and doesn't want to give up on her job, I'd like to settled down now, I think with LCL in its present state it can float on its own, we're getting great reviews already on our new collections, I can afford to be gone more frequently and not have to deal with the stress of the everyday grind," Elisabeth stood up and embraced her, "Even with your accident and working from home you've made great strides were you hoping to travel spend more time away with Lizette?" She questioned. "Its crossed my mind but right now I need to get through therapy and be independent of my disability," She sighed answering. Elisabeth watched the expression on Rebecca's face, "You seem more distracted lately are you feeling ok, I know the therapy is strenuous, do you think your improving?" She quizzed, "Marlene has been a godsend and I'm grateful to her husband, he's saved me but," She quit talking and looked up at Elisabeth, "While I'm doing very well with my therapy its difficult to work with Marlene, I mean she impresses me with her dedication and knowledge of her work but she's still in love with me," Rebecca rehearsed. Elisabeth appeared surprised, "And how do you feel about that?" She asked quietly.

"I love Lizette, I do but I also love Marlene, I always have and I always will, Marlene is married and has made a commitment to her husband," Elisabeth quickly cut in, "But she's confessed her love for you has something else happened to make you feel so out of sorts?" Rebecca lowered her face into her hands. "Elisabeth, I feel so bad, I've betrayed Lizette and Marlene Mark, I think of what he's done for me and how I've depended on him and her but the truth is I can't resist the temptation of her we've slept together and more than once," She swallowed hard feeling exasperated and emotional as she spoke. Elisabeth embraced her again, "Now, now it will be alright but Rebecca you need to be honest with yourself and the people that are involved, I have no doubt that you love Lizette but you have a past with Marlene that never really evolved she was the love of your life and she was as loving and giving as anyone you've been with don't throw it away because you feel guilty you'll never be happy until you explore the situation and make a final decision," She took in Elisabeth's advice, "Now how about breakfast? I too could use a cup of coffee," They departed arms clutched in one another's as they walked to the dinning room.

"Good morning," Mark spoke to Marlene as he uncovered himself, the sleepless night on the sofa made him feel uncomfortable, "Morning," She made her coffee, "Do you have patients this morning?" He questioned trying to be civil with her as he walked into the kitchen. "Coffee?" She offered handing him a full cup, "Yes I have patients later this morning, "Well your up early do you have something planned?" He probed kindly but found it difficult to smile, "Nothing pressing, I thought I would go in and get caught up on my charts, Dr. Kessler has asked me to review a case he has pending with an elderly woman," She answered in a simple tone. He sighed deeply, "I was hoping we could talk calmly and without arguing," He implored she sat down to the bar. "I think we've said enough, you have your feelings and I mine," She reminded him of the their heated discussion the night before, "Please Marlene, I just want to talk like we use to where did all the fun times go we were so good together," He looked like a sad lost puppy, "Mark things were great until we married and now you make decisions without including me, you pressure me a lot for things we haven't even discussed you want me on a pedestal, your angry when I don't comply with your demands, I could go on," She abruptly stopped talking. Mark lowered his head, "I should get a shower I have surgery this morning," He sat his cup down and walked into the bedroom closing the door behind him Marlene left without a goodbye.

"What do you have planned today?" Lizette asked Rebecca as they got up from the table, "Therapy this afternoon and I need to finish some paperwork for Elisabeth this morning," Lizette grabbed her hand, "You're going back to the orangery? We could," She became mum tickling Rebecca's side, "As much as I would love to my head is hurting me a little, I took something before breakfast and I need to lie down for a while," Lizette nodded her head, "I think I'll go into LCL then and work on the catwalk," She responded, Rebecca smiled, "Good idea, why don't you come back for lunch and I'll have my paperwork completed and we can spend a little time together before my therapy," Lizette agreed and left her to take a nap. Rebecca slipped between the covers and closed her eyes the pill she took made her drowsy she quickly fell asleep but the turmoil that had gone on in her mind came to life in a vivid dream, "Lizette began to echo through her mind like she were in a tunnel surrounded by the dark she wriggled twisting the covers around her, "Lizette I warned you," Began to play out in her head the scene a small café where they met, Lizette with tears streaming down her face, "You've crossed the line far too many times, I've been patient where Carlos was concerned," The conversation played out in her mind, "Please Rebecca, I love you," Lizette groveled in her dream her face twitching and grimacing as the dream continued. "My family was right about you, your lies have caught up with you and I need to make changes, changes without you," She ordered "I'm begging you Rebecca," Lizette grasped for her, "I've known all along I was in love with someone else and its time for me to explore that possibility, I don't care if it takes me years to find her, I will she's my destiny so go back to Carlos and leave me and my family alone, I don't love you," Rebecca lost her breath and quickly sat up in the bed the sweat poured down her face she felt cold and displaced.

Rebecca fumbled for her phone and quickly called Tristan, "Are you still at the castle?" She seemed eager to him, "Yes, my room are you alright?" He quizzed with concern, "No, I need you can you come to the Orangery?" She voiced, "On my way," She climbed form under the covers and dressed straightening her hair and wiping her face, Tristan knocked as he opened the door, "Rebecca you look pale, your not sick are you?" She sat down on the sofa he joined her caressing her brow she looked him in the eyes, "I remember," She spoke as if she were lost in a haze. "You remember?" He shook his head repeating what she had said, "It came to me in a dream, Lizette," She raised her voice, Tristan grinned widely, "What do you remember?" She clasped her hands together, "It's been hazy for me for some time, these dreams are revealing but not to the point that I could remember passed a certain thing, I fell into a deep sleep awhile ago and began to dream the argument we had was so real, like I relived it," She replied, Tristan grabbed her by the arms, "Go on, tell me but don't stress yourself," She groaned lowly, "There was a man in her life when we met, I'm certain his name is Carlos, she stopped seeing him when we got together or at least I thought she did," Rebecca frowned pausing for a moment, "If its too much for you Rebecca," Tristan offered, "No, no I've been waiting to remember for a long time," She cleared her throat, "I told her that it was over that my family was right about her and she should leave, I told her I was in love with someone else and that no matter how long it took I would find her again," She began to weep, "Oh Rebecca, I'm so sorry, sorry your having to relive the painful problems she caused you, what will you do?" She looked at him and shrugged her shoulders, "She's not seeing Carlos that much I know but I believe she's seeing a man named Francisco," She swallowed hard as she answered him.

"Whore," Tristan worded under his breath, "I think I knew about Carlos and warned her about seeing him that she lied to me a lot and I had enough," Tristan played the voice mail that he had saved Rebecca was amazed, "I think I knew I loved Marlene all along and that I needed to search for her and find out if there was even a small chance," She smiled, "I've shunned her so much lately because I just didn't know," She leaned her forehead against Tristan's chest, "Somewhere deep inside of you, you knew she was the love of your life but you've slept with her," He furrowed his brow, "I have," She hesitated for a second, "And more than once," Tristan felt strange. "So there is something there?" He answered back, "There is, I haven't told her I love her," She took in a deep breath, "She has a husband and there are problems there she told him the truth about us and it didn't sit very well, I'm worried for her Tristan she says he's angry all of the time and he's my Doctor, what do I do? I just can't stop seeing him or her, I'm in their treatment program," She remarked. "I assume he doesn't know the two of you are sleeping together?" He asked, "I don't think so, I haven't spoken to her since she went home from our time together, I don't know that she's told him anything," Tristan nodded his head, "Lizette should be your concern right now, where is she by the way?" Rebecca rolled her eyes and stood up from the sofa, "LCL working on the catwalk for the fashion show," She strolled to the window and looked out, "I thought I loved her, I always knew in the back of my mind something wasn't right, she can't make a firm decision where I'm concerned and she's put me off, I still have doubts and cobwebs about that day, there's still darkness but I know one thing's for sure," She turned back to Tristan, "What's that?" He stood up to meet her, "I'm in love with Marlene," He held her tightly brushing the back of her head with his hand in a show of comfort.

"You have a long road ahead of you," He pulled his head from her shoulder, "I do, I have to take my time and break up with Lizette in an appropriate way," He pulled her chin up with his index finger, "It will take some time, your in a very delicate situation at the moment and you can't expect for Marlene to jump the line and move in here," Rebecca sighed, "I'm not sure if that's what's best for me right now Tristan, with what I've been through, I just don't know, I need to get my head together and as I said Marlene is married and I'm not really sure if I'm an out for her, I can't think about that right now," She rehearsed he looked at her with understanding, "For once your making sense," He snickered loudly. "Lizette should be back any minute and I'll need to talk to her, I don't want her thinking something's up if you're here," Tristan agree and left her to ponder what move she would make next. Rebecca text Marlene asking to see her before their therapy session, Marlene agreed to meet her for coffee. Rebecca sat on the sofa thinking of how to deal with Lizette when she came through the door, she laid back on the sofa when she heard the doorknob turn, "Hey," Lizette spoke with a simple smile, "Hi," She replied and then asked her to join her she took a seat next to her, "What's going on Rebecca? You look like your not feeling well," She took her hand to feel Rebecca's forehead she pushed it away, Lizette appeared stunned at her move, "I have to ask you something," Rebecca began, "Ok," She answered, "And don't lie, please this is very important to me, Carlos, are you still seeing him?" Lizette skin began to crawl she felt weak and strange, "Uh, Carlos?" She slightly shook her head it had occurred to her that Rebecca was beginning to remember, "I asked you not to lie but you still manage to do so and not take me seriously, isn't that why I was about to end things with you?" Lizette felt faint hearing those words Rebecca spoke.

"Rebecca, I'm sorry I told you," Rebecca quickly cut in, "Told me what? That when we met that day you had stopped seeing him? Be honest that's all I'm asking, help me to remember why I was about to leave you in the first place, quit trying to cover up your lies and tell me exactly, are you still seeing him?" Lizette stood up and began to weep, "No we parted ways when you had the accident, I beat myself up over nearly losing you and when you were on death's door step, I, I blamed him," She sighed deeply, "Why blame him? You were with me, it wasn't all of his fault, you said you loved me but the whole time you were involved with other people, your at fault for instigating affairs just like the one your having now with Francisco," Lizette bit her lip wiping the tears from her cheek, "Rebecca," She started to answer, "Just tell the truth, I knew the day we met at the café that I had made my mind up about leaving you the pressures of my insecurities with you were real, I was heart broken, I told you that I was in love with someone from my past and that I wanted to try and rekindle things with her if she would have me back and I knew this long before I found out about your trashy affairs," She became angered her face turned red. "I wanted to hang on, you say I broke your heart but all of the time you were thinking of Marlene, I didn't know it early on, you were acting different and the situation with Carlos came to a head, I didn't want to end things, I loved you but yes I had affairs, is that what you wanted to hear? Really Rebecca, I didn't want to hurt you," She became quiet, "But you did and I must admit that I haven't been honest lately either," She crossed her arms in despair, "What do you mean?" She moved closer to her, "I've had this nagging doubt about things, dreams that were revealing but not to the point that I knew the whole truth, I've had these slight headaches lately the pressure to know what had happened that day constantly chased me until it finally happened, I remembered," Lizette lowered her head unable to look Rebecca in the eyes.

"You've been seeing Marlene haven't you?" Rebecca felt the tightness in her chest begin to ease, "I love her Lizette, I always have, she was my whole world everything I've ever wanted in my life revolved around her, I did love you, since the accident you've been more loving and giving but still you cheat, I, as a woman am not enough for you nor will I ever be, I think you knew this when I had my accident and if you think about it rationally you'll realize that I was right and we were not a good fit," Rebecca spoke truthfully. "Does this mean you want to end things?" She questioned uncertain of Rebecca's mental state, "It's a lot to absorb Lizette now that I've begun to remember bits and pieces will start coming back to me, you have someone," Lizette interjected, "I don't love him he was there for me during all my rough times and it just happened, "Rough times?' Rebecca was quick to resound, "I think your mistaken, I think when I was incapacitated and frail you took advantage of the situation, you weren't here after a while and it was my family's duty to see after me not you," Rebecca's words became heated as Lizette listened with emotion, "I was lost my body and mind was shattered, you spent most of your time away, your selfish and spoiled beyond repair, it makes sense as to why you want to work away from here and wasn't serious about my marriage proposal, its over Lizette and I think you know there's no going back, I'll have Justus collect your things, please leave," She stared directly into her eyes not waning from her thoughts and decision. "Rebecca please, want, you reconsider? Please just think about what we have and what we've shared, can't we just start over?" She begged tearfully, "No Lizette, I can't and I won't the only difference this time is, I won't forget," She clutched her by the arm and handed her, her purse, "Goodbye, Lizette," She closed the door and locked it her world in shambles.


	24. Chapter 24

**CHAPTER XXIV**

 **Wishful thinking**

Lizette pounded on the locked door, "Rebecca, please let me get a few of my things," Rebecca unlocked the door, "Very well," She moaned rolling her eyes and shaking her head in angst,

"Rebecca please let me make this up to you," Lizette attempted to grabbed Rebecca around the waist, "I can't, I don't want you," She stammered, "How can you say that!" Lizette exclaimed loudly, "Did you not hear one word I said, I remembered about that day that I was there to end things, your lying, your cheating all those schemes you made excuses for, we can't rebuild something that's not there Lizette you knew I was going to ask you to move out," Rebecca clutched her face in her hands as she spoke, "You can't say you love me one day and not the next Rebecca that's not how this works and I know deep inside you still love me and want to be with me," She pleaded, "Are you listening to yourself?" Rebecca barked, "You are having an affair with another man and god knows who else, I can't compete, hell I don't want to, I want you to leave and go live your life how you want to away from me away from the torment that would surely come, I need to get my life together and I can't do it with you here, I need to know who Rebecca was and has been for the last two years," She walked to the door and opened it, "Can I at least pack some of my clothing, I need to find a place to stay," She tried to bargain with her, "Very well, I have an appointment, let me know where I can have Justus bring the rest of your belongings," Lizette sighed in a huff, "I guess your going to run to the arms of Marlene?" Rebecca tweaked her brow, "My life from this day forth is not your concern," She remarked boldly. "Won't you reconsider?" Lizette made a last attempt to reconcile with Rebecca. "You know very well that neither of us would be happy and I would always question your motives, where you were who you were with, you know that I'm in love with someone else, we could never truly be happy under these circumstances, go live your life," Lizette packed her bag not saying another word.

Marlene sat patiently in the coffee shop near the hospital and thumbed through the menu awaiting Rebecca's arrival her train of thought was on Mark and the difficult situation they were in her gut ached with anticipation she didn't want to hurt him any further and wanted to save him from professional embarrassment. "Hey," Rebecca's familiar voice called out, Marlene reared her head up, "Rebecca, hey," She smiled the one ray of light that guided her emotional state sat across from her, "You seemed upset on the phone, is everything alright?" She quizzed in concern. "It's been a very enlightening and unfortunate morning," Her grin impish, "Did you fall? Is your leg injured?" Marlene asked looking under the table, Rebecca grabbed her hand, "I want you to listen carefully," She started, having Marlene's undivided attention, "I ended things with Lizette," Marlene's heart pounded as she listened astutely, "I remembered everything this morning, I laid back down and began to dream, I've had some slight headaches the last few days and I took something to relax me that's when things became a realization to me," Marlene pursed her lips, "My god Rebecca, please go on," Rebecca cleared her throat as the waiter brought them coffee to the table, "She was having an affair with another man, I confronted her and we fought, I told her that I wanted to end things that I knew all along I was in love with someone else and no matter what it took, I would search for her and see if there was another chance," She spoke staring deeply into the depth of Marlene's blue eyes.

Marlene sat back in her chair, "Rebecca, what happened then?" She continued, "I told her that I wasn't in love with her that she knew about why we had the argument she tried to cover it up, she's been conversing with another man and I've been suspicious and I asked her to come clean and she did, she's been seeing him for sometime, her support all through my frail existence," She lowered her head shaking it, "I'm very sorry Rebecca, the lies and infidelities have finally caught up with her, did she fight you to stay?" Marlene asked, "She did and I told her there was no use, I knew in the back of my mind there was a nagging doubt about her, now she can go cry on his shoulder and leave me alone, I asked her to leave and not come back," Marlene gazed at her lost in the moment, "The woman you wanted to have a second chance with, was that me?" She whispered, "Marlene it has always been about you, I love you so much that the strings of my heart were being tugged on and guided to search for you and beg you for another chance." She mused a smile crept across her face. "Rebecca, I don't know that we can find our way back, I have so much to face with Mark and my career, we've argued constantly lately and I'm in a delicate situation," She voiced a tear traced its way down to her cheek. "I'm not asking you to drop everything, I have a lot to think about and do, right now its just not good for me, I need to get well," She sipped her coffee. "I should get back to the hospital, why don't we reschedule for tomorrow morning, you should rest, clear your head," She stood up and place her hand on Rebecca's shoulder her touched caused her to relax. Rebecca nodded, Marlene quietly walked away.

Marlene sat at her desk the lights dimmed to sooth her aching conscience she retraced the conversation with Rebecca over and over in her mind, "Hey, where have you been?" Mark asked opening the door and walking in, "Out, why?" She knotted her fist under her chin, "I was looking for you earlier, I, needed the file for Mr. Werner," Marlene lifted it from her stack and handed it to him, "Where were you?" He questioned, "I took a break and had some coffee, really Mark these questions you continue to ask me are disturbing," She slammed the rest of the folders back down. "I'm not going to argue with you Marlene, we should try to be civil, we both work here and I don't want rumors started," He warned her. "If you'll excuse me," She stood up from her desk, "I have patients this afternoon," She walked by him without a word and closed the door. Mark enraged at her snubbing him raked the folders from her desk to the floor, "Shit," He screamed and then looked around the office his face in his hands he began to weep he felt sick and hurt angry by the situation he found himself in. Mark truly loved her but the stress of their arguments began to weigh heavily on him he needed to do something and fast before he lost her, a plan to try and save their marriage was placed in to motion.

Marlene closed the door to her office and found the folders she had left neatly stacked on her desk she sat down and started to go back through them, "God," She uttered under her breath, her text chimed, it was Mark asking her to come home. Marlene phoned the receptionist desk and told her she would be leaving early for the evening. Mark fixed the table with glasses of wine and a candle lit in the center he cooked grilled chicken and started preparing their plates he turned the stereo on low and awaited her arrival he began to place the silverware down when he turned to see Marlene standing quietly in the doorway he attempted to smile his heart ticked fast at what she might be thinking, "What's this?" She asked he took her purse and sweater and sat them to the side, "We need to talk and I thought if we could converse over dinner and some wine things would be a little more relaxed." She gave him a strange but willing look, "Please sit down and I will serve you," He motioned with his hand she sat down and sipped her wine he served their plates, "I know things have been very hard lately but I love you Marlene, you're my wife and above anything I treasure what we have and I don't want to lose it or you," He began to plea she sat and listened, "I know you don't want to have a child right now and I should've been more forth coming about my feelings, I understand if you don't ever want a child, maybe we can adopt later," He looked at her sadly, "Mark, I never wanted to have children, I wish we would have discussed this before we ever married, things might be different for the both of us, you could have met someone else, someone who would hang on your arm, someone you could dote on and put on a pedestal, that's just not me, when I left here, I had lost my voice, my career was in the pit of despair, ruined, my relationship over, I just wanted to get back on track," She answered in a forward tone.

"I thought when I told you I wanted to have a child, you were ok with it? I thought you just wanted wait," He rehearsed in a moan. "I didn't want to hurt you or anger you, I'm thirty five Mark and past that stage in my life to carry a child now would be unfair, I'm sorry if you feel I'm selfish but we never discussed children," She was adamant as she repeated herself. "Ok you don't want children, I get that," He took in a deep breath, "But do you want this marriage? To work on it?" He further implored. Marlene wasn't sure what to say, in her heart she knew she would never love anyone but Rebecca but in front of her, a man she vowed to love, honor and cherish for life, "I don't want to argue with you, its not me and its not what I want to drive my relationship with you, I don't want to be controlled, I want you to trust me from now on, have I made mistakes? I have and I should have told you about my past no matter how painful it was, I just wanted to forget it, I want to be included in everything that involves us and our lives, I want to work and make strides in my career," She made her demands known. Mark lowered his head, "I know that this will take time but I'm willing to work things out because I love you and I want you by my side for the rest of my life, please Marlene, I'm sorry, sorry for all the anger and distrust, I've put you through a lot, I've been selfish and unfair," He remarked firmly. She slightly grinned finishing her dinner and wine, "If you don't mind I'm tired and I need a shower and some sleep," She got up from the table and ran her hand across his shoulder, "I'll clean up and come to bed," He smiled as she left him.

Marlene arrived to the workout room before Rebecca she placed her yoga mat out, "Good morning Marlene," Rebecca spoke, Marlene turned to face her, "Rebecca," She raised her hand up and motioned her over they started the exercises without hardly a word between them, "Marlene," Rebecca spoke first, "Your quiet, has something happened?" Marlene took Rebecca's arms and lowered them, "How about a break?" She fetched them some water, "How are you today?" Marlene asked, "I'm still in shock but glad that I will be able to sort my life out now," Marlene nodded, "Lizette?" Rebecca groaned, "I haven't heard from her, I wouldn't have talked to her anyway, does it hurt? Yes, I did love her and this won't be easy, I could say I love her still but I'm not in love with her and its for the best if we sever it here and now and I think she understood before things got worse she should leave, we can't work this out and now I'm free, free to move on and rediscover myself," She looked more at ease to Marlene, "I'm glad for you Rebecca, no more turmoil from all the dishonesty and now that your gaining your memory back, well I wish you only the best," She got up, "We should finish your therapy," She remained professional tweaking Rebecca's interest, "Ok," She followed Marlene's instructions, they finished her exercises, "Can I see you later? I mean if you can," Rebecca asked hoping for a meeting. Marlene hesitated, "I can't, I'm sorry but there's a lot of unrest in my life, I'm trying hard to reconcile with my husband, I've decided I should try and make things work, I know I put you in a very delicate and difficult situation, I love you Rebecca and I don't want to hurt you any further," She wept as she spoke, "I see," Rebecca took in a deep breath, "I think I've known it all along that you would give mending your marriage a chance, " Marlene could see the color in her face drain as she spoke.

Marlene's hand touched the side of Rebecca's face, "Another place, another time things could've been so different for us, I wish this accident had never happened to you and that you would have searched me out, I don't know what might of happened but right now I can't be your rebound," Marlene made sense Rebecca thought she collected her things and turned back to Rebecca before leaving, "I think in a few more weeks you'll be able to forgo therapy, your doing really well and I'm amazed at how well you've managed to tolerate it not everyone has the want or stamina that you do," She smiled, "Marlene, I'm not everyone, I'm Rebecca," They both snickered at her comment, "I do love you and I always will, I've done nothing but think about me, you but I'm married and I made a commitment to this man, I professed to him that I would love honor and cherish him for the rest of our lives," Rebecca moved closer to her, "Marlene, I know you too well and it doesn't surprise me in the least, to reconnect with you these last months has been a breath of fresh air, I know about your commitments, I lived them, I know about your dedication to family your devotion to the one you love but I also know," She stopped short placing her finger to her lower lip, "That you also have a breaking point and that stress can cause you to lose control and I don't want that for you, all I ever wanted was for you to be happy, you have this career, its good for you and you're awesome!" She exclaimed in a laugh. "Thank you Rebecca, thanks for your encouraging words that means a lot and I know that you are speaking from the heart," She stared briefly, "I have appointments, I'll see you the day after tomorrow, is nine alright?" She asked, Rebecca nodded she left, Rebecca could feel the angst ease a bridge had been crossed she showered and headed to meet with Elisabeth.

Rebecca stood in the doorway and watched Elisabeth mull over the reports for Lahnstein enterprises she lightly knocked on the door, "Hey come in Rebecca," Elisabeth voiced looking up at her, Rebecca remained relaxed against the door jamb her arms and legs crossed, "Is everything alright?" Elisabeth asked eyeing her strangely, "She's gone," The words were hard for Rebecca to speak at first, "Gone, what do you mean?" She seemed lost by her statement. "Lizette is gone, moved out," She answered and walked towards the desk, "What happened?" Elisabeth questioned setting the reports she was viewing to the side, "I guess Tristan didn't tell you," She cocked her brow and licked the dryness from her lips, "No he had to leave for a meeting in Brussels and then back home the girls start school next week," She shook her head removing her eye glasses, "I remembered Elisabeth," She spoke with elation, Elisabeth stood up, "Please tell me," They sat in the chairs across from one another as Rebecca shared her story, "So you knew she was cheating and that you had already made your mind up about Marlene," Elisabeth spoke as she processed those words, "I can't believe it, I told you I had been having dreams and then these slight headaches," She grimaced continuing, "Its all come to light and I know I was hasty with her but she's seeing someone else while she's away modeling, I can't nor could I ever really make Lizette happy Elisabeth," Elisabeth placed her hand to Rebecca's, "You will have doubts about your decisions, a grieving period, we all go through it but I'm here," She grinned they leaned over embracing each other, "What will you do?" She quizzed, "I need to get my life back on track and through this therapy, I need to be independent again and free to work and do what I want," She relayed, "And Marlene?" Elisabeth posed the question, "We've talked and I told her she's happy for me and she loves me but she's married and there's a lot of tension and unrest there, I need to rediscover myself and she wants to work on her marriage," Rebecca replied with a look of sadness, "You love her that won't change Rebecca, two people in love and destined to be together will never be parted for long, you should prepare for stormy weather," She remarked. Rebecca slightly grinned texting Marlene wanting to talk.


	25. Chapter 25

**CHAPTER XXV**

 **Jealous to the bone**

"Your home early," Mark spoke to Marlene as she entered the apartment her mind on the conversation with Rebecca she attempted to grin, "Yes, I'm tired," She plopped down on the sofa, "Can I fix you something, dinner? Maybe you'd like for me to order takeout?" He was trying to make conversation, "I'm really not hungry," She admitted, "Ok," He poured her a glass of wine handing it to her. "Thanks," She ran her fingers through her hair he sat next to her, "A lot of therapy today?" He asked she looked at him blankly, "Yes and paperwork, I haven't been sleeping very well and the stress of our arguments haven't helped matters," She arched her brow looking at him. Mark groaned and loosened his necktie, "I spoke to David today," He remarked changing the subject she grinned, "How are things?" She questioned, "Well David has good news," He leaned forward on the sofa his hands on his knees, "Don't keep me in suspense," She nudged him with her fist, "He's been offered the head of surgery at Newport memorial and Grace will be offered the Director of physical therapy job," He sighed, "That's great news," She squinted her eyes, "But they will be leaving New Haven, wow," She voiced with surprise, "It happens, like you I wouldn't have guessed in a million years Grace would be convinced to leave her family," Marlene shrugged her shoulders, "I never thought I'd leave New Haven and look where I'm at now," She proclaimed with a stare of disapproval Mark moaned lowly, "And I guess that's my fault?" He questioned her, "That its opened up old wounds for you, the lies and distrust," He reminded her she clinched her jaw.

Marlene felt guilt, frustration and anger at his cold remarks, "I thought we weren't going to argue?" She quipped getting up from the sofa, "I shouldn't have said that, its fresh in my mind and it still hurts and angers me," He stood up beside her, "Mark are you going to let this antagonize you forever? I mean really, I told you the truth but that's not enough," She lowered her head, "How should I feel? Did you think I could shut what I felt off like a faucet?" He looked at her with heated despair, "Mark we promised we weren't going to do this, what is your problem?" She grumbled as his cell phone began to ring, "It's the hospital, I need to take this," He walked back to the kitchen leaving her alone and in uncertainty, "I have to go a bad accident, an eighteen year old needs surgery, I'll be late," He picked up his keys leaving without another word she stood there frozen the words he spoke echoed in her mind loudly, "Shit," She clinched her fist she picked up her cell phone and text Rebecca, "Do you still want to meet? Talk?" She sent it and awaited her response, "Yes can you come to the castle?" She sent it back, "I'll be there shortly," She wasted no time and headed there unsure of what Rebecca wanted to discuss. The outside pathway to the orangery was lit as dusk began to fall on Königsbrunn she knocked on the door, Rebecca opened it and stood there a smile crept across her face. "How did you manage to get away?" She quizzed closing the door behind Marlene, "He had an emergency," She tossed her purse down on the table.

Rebecca could see the tension and sadness in Marlene's facial expressions, "You look upset," She poured and handed her a glass of wine they sat on the sofa. "Mark was argumentative this evening, I was tired and not much in the mood to hear his sermon about how I lied and how he still really feels hurt and unable to shut off his feelings," She sighed deeply and took a swig of wine, "You wanted to talk?" Marlene asked in assumption, "I did," She curled her legs up under herself getting more comfortable on the sofa, "Wow your bending that leg good, that doesn't hurt?" Marlene noticed looking down at her leg, "I've been doing stretching exercises like you've taught me and yes it's a little stiff but I need to do this and get well quicker," Her smile and enthusiasm warmed Marlene inside. "I guess you haven't heard anything more from Lizette?" She fished for an answer, "No I'm sure she's ran to the arms of her lover or one of her lovers," She groaned. "I'm sorry Rebecca, sorry that this happened to you in this way that you had to live through something so traumatic it nearly cost you your life," Rebecca stared absorbing what she had said. "Marlene I think that things happen for a reason," She began curling her hand up to the side of her face and resting it there, "I wasn't happy, obviously I knew that I had, had enough that my mind was never far from where you were and I was lying to myself and hurting deep inside, what we had was the best times of my life and I know I can never make amends for the pain and distrust I caused you. We should've gone to New York, I feel I cheated you out of the best times of your life because I was self centered and irresponsible," Marlene stopped her with a touch of her fingers to her lips.

"Rebecca they call it fate," She grinned replying to her concerns, "I was stupid and you know it, I was angry at my family and I wanted to show them just who Rebecca was, I didn't think of the consequences at all," She stated and drank her wine getting up and fetching the bottle, "Rebecca that's history and we've both accepted and moved on from it, I don't want to relive that and I've forgotten it, really I want to go forwards not backwards," She responded honestly, "I loved you so much," Rebecca chuckled, "But when you left I realized just how much, I missed and needed you my world was spinning out of control the break up was only the tip of the iceberg, you gave me everything but I didn't know how to separate and utilize my personal life from my career," She was being realistic as she spoke. "You know now," Marlene advised, "Yes I do and I needed to clarify that, I hadn't forgotten that part of my life but the last two years is a total haze," She mentioned with concern, "Marlene lent an ear further, "You know I told Lizette that I didn't love her, that I was in love with someone else, I know my words and actions hurt her because I didn't remember and she really wanted to get past the part of why we argued and I wanted to end things," Marlene interjected, "She has been cheating on you with someone else, you couldn't accept that, this other affair was before the accident, obviously she ended it with whomever and wanted to work things out with you, I can see where she thought this through and figured you would never remember that day," She firmly voiced, "I do love her still but in all of this tragedy it was clear to me that I really wasn't in love with her," She looked at Marlene for confirmation.

"I have my own set of problems that started off with me lying to my husband and then cheating on him," Marlene broached the subject, "I'm sorry but I am as much to blame for that because I allowed it to happen," Rebecca remarked, "No Rebecca, I wanted you," She gazed into the darkness of Rebecca's eyes, "Mark and I have argued a lot lately, I told you we are trying to work through the difficulties we've both faced, Mark takes it upon himself to do things and make decisions without including me," Rebecca grimaced, "Sort of like I did?" She questioned in affirmation, "Precisely and its irritating he just doesn't seem to get it and he starts to plead for a second chance and says he wants to work things out but then gets angry about my past and it comes to light, I don't know," She shook her head, "I guess he's confronted you about having a baby?" Rebecca eased into the question, "Yes, I never knew he wanted children and its put me in the worst situation, he found out I was on the pill and he got aggressively angry and became worried and he scares me at times Rebecca." She placed her hand to Marlene's face in an attempt to comfort her, "I'm trying very hard to work on getting around this, I told him I didn't want a child that we've just married and my career is taking off," Rebecca stopped her, "I can understand, you went so long without a professional life and you found your niche a chance to prove yourself and you fear that if you have a child now you'll never be able to live up to your potential," Marlene rolled her eyes, "Exactly, you get it, he doesn't but I won't be pressured and its not that I wouldn't want a child its just not good for me right now," She became loud and frustrated.

Rebecca sat her wine glass down, "I know your frustrated and tormented," She took her in her arms in a embrace, Marlene closed her eyes wanting to rid any thoughts of him from her conscience. "I'm not in love with him, yes I love him but not in that sense and I'm afraid he'll try to persuade me that having a child will fix things," She pulled back from Rebecca. "Marlene if you know your not happy and this is not what you want why do you stay with him?" Her questioning front and center, "Because I'm married to him and you know how I feel about commitment," She gave her a stern eye, "I do know but It didn't stop you from ending things with me, you are stubborn that's one of the things I loved about you," She giggled they both laughed about her comment, "I know in my heart that this fellowship means so much to him and I don't want to embarrass him he's devoted to his work and his cause, I don't want him to feel inferior around his colleagues he needs to stay focused on his work and I need to be supportive of that," She confirmed, "Ok but you aren't the subservient kind Marlene, where do you draw the line?" She thought briefly, "You know I've told him that, I also shared my past with him he doesn't understand how I could have lied about you and our relationship he didn't know I had an abortion and he realized that maybe this is why I didn't want a child, I know he must think that this is what's good for his career, a wife, child," She sighed, "What do you truly want Marlene?" Rebecca had to ask that burning question, "I want to have a career where I learn and I educate and I help people, I want someone by my side that supports me and loves me for me, that doesn't place me on a pedestal, I don't want to be in a relationship where I'm a doll on a shelf, that's just not me," She answered her tensions seemed to be more at ease.

"Ok so you know what you want, commitment didn't stop you in the past," Marlene cut in, "I'm married now Rebecca, you and I never took that step, its different from before and I have matured and," Rebecca interrupted her, "You're a grown woman who can think for herself, commitment won't hold you back if your not truly happy Marlene, be reasonable, you can't be miserable all your life, your very strong willed and don't forget at one time you had the qualities of a diva," She snickered, Marlene relaxed, "True but I'm here now and I'm just trying to gain experience and be a good person," Rebecca frowned, "You are a good person, Marlene, no one could ever take away your good qualities or your autonomy, really," Marlene poured them another glass of wine, "Do you want to remain in Germany? I mean after you make a life decision or when his fellowship is up?" She bowed her head, "I never had any intentions of coming back here, once I left the second time, I knew that we couldn't work it out you were still so entrenched in your family's affairs that I couldn't talk to you, you were as lost as you were before I left the first time and I had made my mind up that no matter what, I was going to prove to myself that I could be as professional as I was before and I've worked so hard for that goal," Rebecca grunted mildly and then spoke, "I never knew you thought about giving us another chance," Marlene pursed her lips, "You hadn't changed at all, you were still so preoccupied and someone had been stealing your designs, you went through a lot and before our break up, I tried to be supportive and loving, I loved you so deeply Rebecca, I worried constantly about your state of mind, what you were feeling emotionally, your lack of responsibility to us and our relationship, so many things came into play," Marlene relayed as she wept, "But you still love me now," She firmly reminded her, "I do, that will never change, even after all these years, seeing you again," She paused and stared at her.

"I love you Marlene, its been hard, I feel so guilty about sleeping with you, I never told Lizette the truth, I kept it buried, I couldn't, what would it have looked like, I think you were right all along she would've run straight to your husband and told him, I just couldn't hurt you in that way," Marlene wiped her eyes she traced the rim of her wine glass with her finger, "Don't feel guilty," She took in a deep breath, "This may be hard for you to believe but deep down, I don't feel guilty, yes its hurtful that I've lied to Mark, sometimes I don't think I'm thinking rationally but the temptation of being with you in a romantic and intimate way," Rebecca quickly placed her lips to Marlene's hushing her, their lips fused together in an erotic kiss, "You taste so good, I would sometimes think back to the way you tasted and how I missed our time together," Rebecca reminisced, "I tried to forget," Marlene started, "Forget about how we would make love or just hold each other, our talks, those walks we took," She chuckled, "I know those were some great times," Rebecca added then there was silence but the silence was suddenly broken by the chime of Marlene's cell phone she quickly fished it from her purse, "Where are you?" She read it out loud, "Hmmm, is he home?" Rebecca inquired, Marlene text him back, "He's still at the hospital, uh that sounds suspicious, why would he ask me that if he were still there?" She became worried there was a rap on the door of the orangery they looked at one another, Rebecca answered finding Mark leaning against the door facing, "Mark," She looked surprised, "Rebecca, I know Marlene's here," She lowered her head opening the door he saw Marlene sitting on the sofa.

Marlene gave him an angered look, "What are you doing here?" She quickly asked he walked in as if he were going to confront them both, "I went back to the apartment and of course you were nowhere to be found, I walked around the complex and you weren't anywhere near there so where else would you be but here," His tone curt and to the point, "Are you following me now Mark?" Do you distrust me so much that you are stalking me?" He began to pace, "Mark, please, Marlene and I were just talking," He cut an eye to her, "I don't believe you, do you know she told me that she loved you, yeah," He laughed loudly continuing, "She said she didn't expect for me to understand and I don't nor will I ever, its just another part of your lies," He whaled looking at her sitting on the sofa "Mark leave, Marlene is innocent," He turned his head back quickly to Rebecca, "Innocent? That's funny she told me the same thing about you, lies and bullshit," He remarked harshly, "What were you hoping to find?" Rebecca turned the questioning around, "I don't trust my wife with you, yes, I said it she's my wife and whatever there was between you two is non existent she's with me and I'm not about to let you or anyone destroy it, where's your purse?" He started to grab her by the arm, "Stop it Mark," Rebecca shouted she quickly called the police, "The police are on their way," She showed him to the door, "Marlene you need to come home now, we need to talk," Marlene appeared in shock, Rebecca grumbled, "Leave now Mark," He grimaced leaving, Rebecca closed and locked the door, "Are you alright?" Marlene's face was in her hands, "I'm fine and I need to go home and iron this out before he accuses me of sleeping with you again, its coming and yes I did tell him that I loved you," Rebecca lowered her shoulders she became worried for safety.


	26. Chapter XXVI

**CHAPTER XXVI**

 **Aftermath**

Mark sat on the sofa a drink in hand his shirt halfway unbutton, Marlene entered her arms crossed she faced him, "What were you thinking?" She confronting him, "Me," He drank his drink, "I'm not the one playing games, tell me Marlene have you been sleeping with her again?" He looked up at her with a hurtful expression, "Mark why did you do that? Show up like that you were rude and that was unacceptable," She evaded his questioning, "I'm not the one screwing around you still haven't answered me, have you been sleeping with her?" He questioned again, "Mark, Rebecca and I have a history we were in love its not that easy, I'm responsible for her physical care and we have to be in close quarters," She answered, "Tell me, is she good in bed?" He pressured her for an answer, Marlene could hardly breathe, "Your drunk," She snapped, "You need to sleep it off, your confused and angry," She added he stood up and threw his drinking glass against the wall shattering it into tiny pieces. Marlene was in a state of shock she became afraid cupping her hand over her mouth she froze as he approached her. "You are my god damn wife," His nostrils flared he grabbed her by the arms pushing himself against her his lips smothered her in a frenzy of kisses she tried to push him away but it was of no use, "Please Mark, "I've told you before your hurting me, stop it," She screamed piercing his eardrum he let her go grasping the side of his head with his hand, "Marlene," He yelled loudly as she locked herself, in the bedroom.

"Marlene please," He beat on the door falling down the wall and propping himself against the door, "I love you, please just come out, we can talk, I promise," He sobbed loudly he was in turmoil the tears streamed down his face, "I can't deal with you anymore Mark, you need help, your rages scare me," She answered from the other side of the door, "I'm just having a problem with this thing you have for Rebecca, you're my wife how should I react?" She leaned her back against the door, "You are losing control Mark do you want to ruin your career? Destroy our lives?" She pulled her hair back running her fingers through it as she spoke. "I never wanted to hurt you," He wiped his face sniffing, "I love you, can't you see that," He voiced sincerely, "I'm just so tired," Marlene cried out, "Tired of the insecurities the pain you've put me through, I never know what your mood will be, your distrust of me is hurtful, you want to be in total control of everything I do, I'm an independent woman who can make my on decisions, I have a career and I was happy," She lectured to him, speaking her mind, "Could we work on it?" He begged, "I don't know, I'm afraid I'll never make you happy and that you won't ever trust me again and that you'll feel animosity towards me or anyone I come into contact with," She offered lowering her voice and trying to remain calm. "Marlene please open the door and stop shutting me out," He spoke quietly, kindly. She hesitated but unlocked it her heart pounding rapidly she was fearful as he turned the handle opening it and looking her in the eyes, "Thank you," He bowed his head.

Marlene sat on the bed her hands clasped together he groaned as he took a seat next to her she turned her head to face him, "I don't think you'll ever be happy, I think our marriage is beyond that and certainly beyond repair, I can understand your distrust and I blame myself for failing to tell you my reasons for leaving here, I loved my life in New Haven, finally a career something I earned on my own, when we married it was the happiest day of my life, you were kind and loving but you made decisions about things that involved both of us and you never once took me in to consideration, I'm not the princess type, I'm a woman with a goal and a mission in life," She stopped talking, sighing, "I think wanting a child was too much and I never thought you wouldn't want children," He responded rationally, "Mark I'm sure there's someone for you, someone who will be a wonderful hostess and have your children, it just won't be me, I'm sorry, I don't want to hurt you but this situation is just not me," She became emotional, "So you think we don't stand a chance?" His eyes brightened hoping she would change her mind. "I don't, you wanted honesty and I'm really not happy and in the long run you'll see that," He lowered his head breathing in deeply, "I should go," He stood up, "You could stay upstairs until you decide what you want to do," She versed he began to remove his clothing from the closet, "I'm sorry Mark," He took his things and headed upstairs she began to weep the hurt and pain she felt in her heart was overbearing.

Marlene fetched her cell phone from her purse and quickly dialed Grace, "Hello my sweet and lovely best friend," Her voice rang true on the other end, "Grace," Her voice hoarse and low, "Marlene you don't sound good, what's wrong?" She appeared frantic on the other end, "Mark and I, we just can't make it, I need you," She sobbed loudly, "I'll book a flight and please whatever you do stay calm and I'll see you soon," They hung up. Marlene always knew she could rely on Grace her confidant she composed herself showering and readied herself for bed her text chimed a worried Rebecca on the other end, "Are you ok? I'm afraid for you," She text, Marlene text her back, "I will be ok, we argued it wasn't pleasant but he's moved upstairs and you and I will talk tomorrow, get some sleep," She laid her phone on the dresser climbing under the covers the warmness of the bed comforted her she felt awful and blamed herself for the mess her life was in she needed an out, something new she settled herself down in an attempt to sleep but her mind reeled her life had never been this out of control.

Mark stood in the hallway of the recovery bay peering over a chart he leaned against the wall tucking the chart under his arm and bowed his head, "Hey," Marlene walked up to him and then looked around assuring herself no one else was standing there, "Hey," His response quick, "Could we talk?" He asked, "Your office?" She relayed they walked together they both remained quiet until the door to his office had shut. "I've spoken with Dr. Kessler this morning and I told him that I needed to return to New Haven that I felt my time here was enough," Marlene interjected, "The fellowship is for two years Mark," She looked at him with surprise, "He understands and their team has learned a lot from me but with all the upheaval in my personal life, I just can't concentrate and I don't want to live and work here if you aren't by my side," He rehearsed firmly, Marlene sighed heavily, "I told you last night that I didn't think we could work it out, I won't put on a façade so you can work here or anywhere, I told you that just wasn't me, you want me to make sacrifices for your career," Mark cut in, "When we married we promised each other to love, honor and cherish and that we vowed to take care of one other," He warned, "Yeah well its more one sided then the both of us together," She further argued.

"You know I love you and I'm sorry for the things that continue to happen between us," He versed, "Like your jealousy, anger and spitefulness, your quick to judge me but never yourself, what happened to the man I was engaged to? The man I thought I loved?" She looked away from him, "I know we can't go back to where we were, hell, I guess we can't find an open end," He leaned against the desk his hand perched to his chin, "Even if we tried there would always be a doubt, doubts about me my past life your fear that I might really be gay," She tightened her jaw, "Hmmm, you were once just that," He shifted his eyes to her, "I don't like labels does it anger you so much that I fell in love with a woman? The woman you helped to save her leg? The person I share close contact with? Does our past disturb you to the point your embarrassed? Embarrassed that someone will find out?" She remarked he listened without a word, "Well I hate to tell you but our relationship was very open here and anyone can walk through the doors of this hospital and recognize me, her family, my family, they all knew, we lived in that castle together as a couple," She let the words flow freely without any hesitation. "You've made your point and I'm, well I guess you could say its overwhelming, I'm not embarrassed, we all have a past Marlene," He stood up to face her. "What was once so perfect is now a horrible mess," She reminded him, "You told me you loved her," Mark began, "I need to know the truth," He sat back in the chair on front of his desk she sat across from him.

"Mark, you wouldn't understand but I will always love her, I never knew I could fall so deeply in love with someone until I met her," She groaned, continuing, "Reality is, I never really asked for it, I had never been interested in a woman not even remotely she came back into her family's life after being away and straight into mine, I denied her so many times she loved me and never gave up the fight to be with me, I hurt her and I was ashamed of letting anyone know how I truly felt," Mark was intrigued by her confession, "Marlene you can share with me all about your past with her but that's not what I'm asking, I'm asking are you in love with her?" He swallowed hard and awaited an answer, "Yes Mark, I'm in love with her," He closed his eyes grimacing, "Does she know? I mean she has a girlfriend and it's been years, does she share these same feelings?" Marlene placed her hand on his, "She does," He clinched her hand in his he looked up to her, "Just like the old days," He reminisced she gently removed her hand from his clutch. "Rebecca loves me Mark and that won't ever change, she's not to blame she had no idea I would return here let alone care for her health wise," She spoke honestly, "Will you try to rekindle what you had?" His stomach ached as he asked, "I don't know, I have to focus on my life and my career, Rebecca's been through a lot too she doesn't remember the accident and yes she does have a girlfriend," Marlene chose not to tell him she had ended things with Lizette, "I guess there's no second chance for us," He grunted under his breath.

"You wouldn't want it, not really Mark, you would constantly be tormented about my past and your jealous and if I became close with another woman you would drive yourself insane, admit it Mark, you know I'm telling you the truth," He thought for a second, "I wish you would have told me before we married, I could've been prepared," He looked sad and defeated, "Prepared for what? Would you have taken the fellowship knowing I had a relationship with a woman? Man or woman what's the difference?" She begged in a question. "We could try, at least we could return to New Haven together, start all over again," He offered, "No Mark we can't, I don't want children in my life right now and if we returned together then you would start pressuring me all over and I don't want that, I don't want to live the princess existence, I did that when I was a starlet, my career in acting and singing was new and I allowed it, I allowed Tristan to put me on the same, pedestal he became enraged and crazed when he found out about Rebecca and I, he thought he owned me and I was dealt a lot of misery he stripped me of my voice and my career but in the end it didn't matter, the one person I wanted to spend my life was all I cared about," Mark nodded his head, "But this is different, that was a long time ago and you weren't married to either of them but we are and we made this commitment Marlene," His words were strong and forceful, Mark if you think about it neither of us will be happy together, I do love you but not in the way you want me to," Her honesty was taken to heart. "David called earlier," He changed the subject, "Yes Grace is on her way here," Marlene added, "Was that really necessary?" Mark quizzed, "It was, you scare me and she's my best friend," He raised his hand, "I've got a hotel room and I'll have my things out this afternoon," He let her know before turning and leaving the office.

Marlene finished with her patients and text Rebecca, "Care for coffee?" She sent it placing her phone in the pocket of her jeans, "Leaving early?" Dr. Kessler caught her as she existed her office, "I am," She smiled, "Could I speak with you for a moment?" He questioned in a simple tone, "Surely," She replied they stepped back into her office, "I hate that Mark is wanting to leave," He arched his brow as he spoke, "I'm sorry Dr. Kessler but its his decision, I can't stop him and he feels he needs to return home, I'm sorry," She answered sincerely as her text chimed, "Excuse me a second," She looked at him and walked over to her desk checking her message, "Ten minutes," It read, "Great," She sent it back. "Dr. Kessler he might change his mind," He scratched his head, "I know two years is a long time but maybe after he's been home awhile," She walked back towards him, "Talk to him privately, tell him your feelings, maybe you could convince him to return," She touched her hand to his shoulder, "I have to go," He walked with her out, "Thank you Marlene," He smiled leaving her. Marlene strolled the sidewalk to the coffee shop and took a seat awaiting Rebecca's entrance she had so much she wanted to share, her talk with Mark, Grace's return," She looked up to see her standing there all smiles she sat her purse down and joined her at the table, "I was so worried about you Marlene," Rebecca began they locked hands, "Right now I'm alright, it was traumatic to say the least but we were actually civil to one another this morning, I apologize Rebecca, I never thought he would show up like that," She answered her.

"You don't have to apologize, I'm just glad your alright and not hurt," She mused, "I told him that it was over, that we couldn't go on anymore, he has decided to return to New Haven," Rebecca gazed into her eyes as she listened closely, "I have an appointment with him tomorrow, he probably wishes to cancel it because I'm sure by now he hates me," Rebecca worded in lament. "Above all Mark's a professional, he wouldn't ruin his reputation by harassing a patient, its your last appointment with him as a surgeon," Marlene knew that Rebecca was well on the road to recovery, "True but it will be very uncomfortable, Tristan will be here to night he could go with me," She smiled finding inner peace about the situation. "That's a good idea but Tristan will need to know the truth Rebecca, "She warmly advised, "I know I plan to tell him when we have dinner tonight, Marlene," She looked her deep in the eyes, "What will you do?" She shrugged her shoulders before answering her, "I don't know, I have a career and I can use it anywhere but my thoughts are, I will need to straighten out my life and get past all this, I will file for an annulment, I'll have to return to New Haven to do it, I love it there, its small and quaint but I can stay that town is not big enough for Mark and I to share," She groaned her tone passive. "I see do you think you'll come back here?" She seemed eager to Marlene, "There are a lot of uncertainties for me right now, I have caused my husband nothing but agony and distrust, I need to be free again and I need a clear mind to make a decision," She tried to be honest and upfront. "You don't want problems while your trying to get annulment, I understand that, how long do you think it will take?" Rebecca asked, "Month maybe, maybe less, I've never done that, I don't think we will have to divorce because it hasn't been long enough and I don't want to go through the heartache and pain of another one," She attempted to grin as she answered. "Grace will be here later tonight," She spoke with elation, "Oh, I like her she's been a good friend to you Marlene and I know she must be hurt over this situation," Rebecca added they finished their coffee parting ways.


	27. Chapter 27

**CHAPTER XXVII**

 **The winds of change**

Rebecca sat in the easy chair across from the fireplace she teased the rim of her drinking glass with the tip of her finger the flames of the fire danced playfully across the logs it mesmerized her she could see Marlene's reflection in its glow, "You were rather quiet at dinner," Tristan spoke as he entered the great room he poured a scotch and joined her, "Just thinking," She answered taking a drink and slowly swallowing it, "I'm sorry about Lizette but I can't say I'm not glad you remembered, I know that it will take some time to totally gain your memory back," He relayed. Rebecca looked at him and grinned, "It will take a while to get over her, I did love her and I still do despite all the hurt and frustration she's caused me," She replied honestly, "I know you loved her but she wasn't trustworthy Rebecca," She quickly interjected, "Neither am I Tristan, I've slept with Marlene," She grumbled sighing he stared pensively at her, "You have feelings for her, you told me you wanted to find her and see if there was another chance," He remarked, "I do but with everything she's going through right now, I can't," She responded, Tristan frowned, "Each of you will need time to heal it won't be easy for either of you and I can understand if you wanted to get your life together," He stood up and poured another drink, "I have a request," She mentioned, "And what do you need?" He sat back down, "I have a final appointment with Dr. Blair in the morning and I," She lowered her head, "You want me there," He cracked a grin, "Would you? He knows about my past relationship with Marlene and he's angry about it, however he doesn't know we've slept together," She further stated.

Tristan reached in his pocket pulling out a cigar and lighting it, "I assume Marlene hasn't told him everything," He inhaled slowly exhaling the smoke streamed up to the ceiling. "She told him that it was over and beyond repair she's leaving him," She sighed getting up, "My appointment is at nine," She reminded him, "Certainly I'll go but I doubt the good Dr. Blair will say anything it's a patient doctor thing, conflict of interest," Tristan added seriously, "I think he's jealous, I mean he showed up to the orangery and blasted both Marlene and I it was scary she was scared, I don't know how she managed to brave it and go home," Rebecca remarked, Tristan furrowed his brow rubbing the whisker stubble on his face, "Marlene is a strong willed woman and if she wanted I'm sure she could stand up to him without a problem," He snickered under his breath, "Tristan," Rebecca stammered poking him, "What will you do?" He quizzed her, "I told you she's in a delicate situation and I need to get past Lizette," Tristan grabbed her by the hands, "Rebecca, you're my sister and I know you better than you think," His look became stoic, "I've been lost for two years and I know there are parts of me that needs retuning sort of like a car that's been kept in a garage," She smiled as he held her hands tightly, "I always knew you and Marlene were meant to be together, its your fate, don't throw away because your uncertain about what she feels or you think, I agree, you should give it time but don't let what you could have escape you," Rebecca pulled away from him, "Don't worry," Her hand brushed the side of his face, "Good night," She left him to turn in for the evening.

"Good morning did you sleep well?" Marlene questioned Grace as she came from down the stairs, "Coffee," She muttered brushing back her hair from her face they sat to the table, "Your flight was delayed longer than I thought," Marlene started the, conversation "I know, it was a long layover in England but I'm here," She grasped Marlene by the hand, "Do you have appointments today?" She curiously questioned, "Yes Rebecca at eleven but after that, I'll be spending the entire day with you," She chuckled her blue eyes bright, "You look relieved, I've been worried about you Marlene," She remarked, "Mark and I can't make it work, I told him the truth about Rebecca," She told her, "Did you mentioned you've slept with her?" She shook her head negatively, "Then you haven't been honest," Grace warned, "I don't want to hurt him any further than I already have, what should I do? Oh Mark by the way I've been screwing Rebecca on the side," She motioned with her hands in a huff of sarcasm, "Marlene really you are going to have to tell him eventually, its not fair," She pursed her lips, "I plan to get an annulment Grace, I can't and I won't go on like this, I'll go back to New Haven and proceed with this final separation," She poured them another cup of coffee, "Rebecca, what are her feelings?" Marlene smiled at the sound of her name, "She broke up with Lizette she finally remember the accident and why she was there," Grace grinned, "I'm glad for her, sad that things didn't workout with Lizette," Marlene frowned, "Lizette was having sorted affairs Grace she hurt Rebecca emotionally," Grace sighed, "And Mark has been scarred emotionally as well," She eyed her. "Rebecca remembered that she loved me and wanted to search for me to see if there was a second chance for us," Marlene continued with the story.

"So she obviously was telling Lizette when she had the accident," Grace surmised, "Yes they argued, Rebecca confronted her and things went bad from there, she loves me but she also still has ties to Lizette and I can understand even after all the pain she went through, Lizette's lies, that she still has to clear her mind about her," Grace sat her cup down, "Do you want to rekindle what you had?" Marlene quickly answered, "Mark asked me that same thing, I don't know, our lives are so different now and I can't put Mark in a situation, I don't want anymore confrontations with him Grace, we need a clean break first and we both need to get past the mess that's been created," Grace gave her a look of discontent, "How did things get to this place? You were so happy and Mark, my dear friend, he was thrilled when he met you, in love like a teenager," She chuckled, "Grace things happen whether we admit to them or not, my love for Rebecca is strong, I knew even after all of these years that I still loved her, seeing her again only confirmed it, New Haven was an out for me and if I had never returned here then things would be different," She spoke clearly, "And what would you have done when Rebecca came looking for you? She was going to remember Marlene," Grace's perception on point. Marlene was at a loss for words, "Fate always has a trump card," She versed with a smile.

Rebecca and Tristan waited in the exam room of Dr. Blair's office, "Stop being so nervous," Tristan goaded softly, Mark entered, "Good morning Rebecca, Tristan," He shook his hand. "I think you've healed well and another week or so of therapy should do it," He cleared his throat looking at her leg, Rebecca couldn't hardly speak, "Thank you," She finally managed the words he looked at her with slight discontent, "Your welcome," He answer firmly, "I'll be leaving Düsseldorf if you should need anything else Dr. Kessler will take over my patients," He seemed sad to Rebecca, "Thank you Dr. Blair the Lahnstein's are forever grateful for everything you've done for Rebecca," Tristan added, "Then if you'll excuse me," He began to walk out when he turned back and looked at Tristan helping Rebecca from the table, "Mr. Von Lahnstein may I speak with you privately, Rebecca moved past them and left Tristan with him. "Dr. Blair, what can I do for you?" He hesitated briefly, "My wife will be remaining in Düsseldorf, at least for awhile," He sighed, Tristan gave him a strange look, "I guess what I'm trying to say is, is that Marlene has a thing for your sister and I guess you knew that already," He shook his head remembering their torrid relationship, "I'm sorry," Tristan answered continuing, "But Rebecca's been through a lot and she had no idea the situation with Marlene would happen and yes their past is what it is and you may not want to hear this but the blonde is in love with the brunette, always has been always will be," He remarked nodding him a farewell and closing the door to the room, Mark tossed the chart down to the table lowering his face into his hands.

"Good morning ladies, ah so nice to see you again madam," Justus lightly shook Grace's hand, "And you as well," She answered politely, "I believe Rebecca's in the workout room, Marlene," He nodded they strolled down the hall to an awaiting Rebecca, "Oh good morning, Grace I'm glad your back," Rebecca answered, feeling strange, "Marlene," She added with a smile they began her workout rigorously working on her leg, "You're doing so much better, I'm impressed," Grace noted as she began to massage the tightness out of Rebecca's calf, "Thanks to Marlene," She chimed, Marlene smiled handing her a towel to wipe the sweat that beaded on her forehead they relaxed for a moment and discussed how the therapy had been going, Marlene's text chimed, "It's Dr. Kessler he needs a chart and my receptionist is unable to locate it, I need to run to the hospital," Rebecca nodded, "Grace stay and visit, I'll have tea served on the terrace, Marlene you can come back for tea?" She further questioned, "Yes," Her hand brushed the top of her shoulder, "Grace," She motioned to the door, "Its beautiful here," They took a seat under the umbrella that shaded the mid morning sun off of them, Justus brought tea. "Yes, we should walk the grounds again but first I need to rest," She snickered as they prepared their tea, "You must think I'm a monster," Rebecca started the conversation a bit of guilt bled through, "On the contrary, Rebecca Marlene has known all along her heart belongs to you, I just wished she would have had the nerve to share her past with me," She responded, "I never thought our paths would cross again but," She stared into her tea cup, "Marlene told me you remember a lot about the day of the accident," Rebecca looked back up at her pursing her lips, "I do but its still cloudy and with Lizette out of my life I will have time to relax and reflect," She answered candidly.

"I know now is not the time to ask you this but where does Marlene fit into all of this?" Grace appeared worried and unsettled, "I'm not sure, Marlene is strong willed, that's an understatement," She laughed loudly Grace grinned at her astute definition of Marlene, "Lets walk," Rebecca motioned, "I love her Grace, I know its been a long time but she was always here in my heart, front and center," Grace clutched Rebecca's arm, "But there were others and Lizette was obviously someone you cared very deeply for and planned to make a life with," They stopped walking standing under the big branches of the old elm tree that bordered the property. "I've told Marlene this before that I couldn't make her happy and I worry that I won't be able to, ten years is a long time and wounds and heartbreaks heal but I don't want to relive any of that, it was hurtful the way things turned out, her insecurities, my infidelity and work ethic all came into play and she's at a good place right now, a place where she can grow in her career, I'm happy that she's found that part of her life the peace and self recognition its brought her," Rebecca pleaded mildly, "You are noble and giving Rebecca, I know I don't need to tell you her life is in a mess, unfortunately it centers a lot around you but I believe there were problems even before they married, Mark wasn't very forth coming with her about his feelings," She advised, "I know this thing with wanting a child had disturbed Marlene and she was afraid of the alienation it would cause she's never been the subservient kind and I know she doesn't want to be placed on a pedestal," Rebecca relayed, they began to walk back to the terrace. "Whatever happens, I just want her to be happy and if that means you are in her life then I support that too," She voiced they sat back down and poured another cup of tea.

"Your back," Grace watched Marlene approach, "It took awhile but the chart Dr. Kessler was looking for was under a pile of paperwork on top of the file cabinet. Rebecca poured Marlene a cup of tea, "Thank you," She smiled, "Rebecca and I just had a nice walk," Grace reported, "And I'm sure a nice talk too," Marlene cut her an eye, "Rebecca was very kind and I think she just wants the best for you no matter what you decide," She finished her tea, "I have a lot to think about, I need to get control of my life," She rehearsed, "I need to talk to Mark Marlene," She replied, Marlene knew Grace would want to talk to him, "I'll drive you to the hospital but I won't stay, I can't face him," She clarified, Rebecca sat still and listened without talking, "I left my purse in the workout room, I'll get it," Grace excused herself from the two of them, "Marlene your going to have to talk to him at some point," She advised, "I can't now Rebecca, I don't want to listen to how I've ruined him," She implored. "Marlene, I don't think we should see each other right now, things are desperate and you don't need any disruption from me," She voiced with reason, "Rebecca I love you and I'm not about to put you in a situation that involves Mark, please trust me," Rebecca gazed into her eyes, "I had my final appointment with Mark this morning," Marlene groaned, "And how was he?" She questioned, "Everything was fine, he told me that I should be just fine and that I shouldn't have to do therapy much longer, I had Tristan there so he was polite and nothing was said about you," She relaxed as she told her, Grace returned to them. "Are you ready?" Grace nodded and then thanked Rebecca for the tea, "You will return with Marlene on Thursday?" She asked Grace as they began to walk back inside, "I will, I love visiting this place," She stated staring at the paintings that adorned the walls as they made their way to the front door.

Grace sat quietly in Marks office awaiting his return she felt badly for him a friend she knew would be in need, Mark walked in and immediately grasped her in a tight embrace they held each other momentarily without a word, "It's so good to see you," She could see the distraught look in his eyes, "And how are you my dear friend?" Grace sat back down Mark sat next to her, "Devastated, sick and depressed," He managed a sarcastic chuckle, "Marlene has been lying to me for months, she has an unhappy past here that revolves around Rebecca Von Lahnstein," His lip twitched as he spoke, "Yes, I know, I know everything, I have for some time," She voiced truthfully, he grunted mildly, "Of course you knew," The tension rose in his expression, "Mark, Marlene is my best friend how would she not confide in me?" Her question to the point and unwavering, "Its a love she says she can't get past, she told me that she was in love with her Grace, what about me?" He beat his fist to his chest as if he were still in disbelief, "Stop it Mark, you need to calm down and get a hold to yourself," She scolded him harshly, "She hasn't admitted it but I think she's having an affair with her, god," He grappled clutching his jaw and raking his fingers across it, Grace lowered her head, "I'm so sorry for all of this, I thought you two would be happy despite returning here to uncertainties," She elaborated with frankness, "I need to know the truth Grace is she seeing her behind my back," He clinched his fist tightly in anger, "Its not for me to say that's between you and Marlene," She winced, "I've tried to talk to her, I've warned her about crossing the line with a patient," He began to think, "Rebecca was once her lover Mark, you can't throw that in her face because your not happy," Grace firmly warned.

"I can't talk to her she defensive and rude, she hides things," He insisted slamming his fist to the desk, Grace startled jumped slightly from her chair, "Mark where is this behavior coming from? This is not like you, how could you act out like that?" His face now red with irritation, "I love her dammit, she's my wife, my whole world, I want her by my side and I thought she felt the same," He was being realistic with himself, Grace could see now why Marlene was so afraid, his anger and how he lashed out, "Marlene is a person with needs and wants just like yourself, did you bother at all to discuss your thoughts and feelings when you asked her to marry or did you just assume she would give up everything at the drop of a hat?" Her questioning directed at him sternly. Mark took in a deep breath, "I didn't," He felt reluctant to tell Grace, "I thought she knew that my career as a surgeon would take center stage that she would be happy as a doting wife one who would want children, entertain the masses, run a household," Grace raised her hand and interrupted him, "Are you listening to yourself? That's not the person you married, who does that anymore? You knew when you became engaged that she was dedicated to having a career," She admonished he shook his head, "I have patients," He added getting up from the chair and leaving her to ponder his strange behavior.


	28. Chapter 28

**CHAPTER XXVIII**

 **Painful Sacrifices**

Marlene picked Grace up from the hospital she could see the pale look on Grace's face as she got in the car, "Are you alright?" She asked grasping her by the arm, "No I'm not, Mark is confused and totally arrogant of the situation with you, he wants you back but on his terms, I just don't understand," She searched her mind for the reasons, there was silence between the two until they reached the apartment. Marlene poured them a glass of wine they sat to the sofa, "I'm sorry Grace, I know how you feel about him, your friendship," Grace sat her glass down, "I'm shocked by his behavior, his total lack of self control where it involves you, he's angry and confrontational," She placed her hand to her forehead. "I wished things were different, I had no idea when we married that he would be so controlling and unpredictable," Grace sighed, "Is there any chance left, I mean a chance to reproach?" Marlene looked at her strangely, "Are you serious? No there's not and if I would have known what I know now then we would have went our separate ways, there wouldn't have been a marriage," She responded with hast. "I don't know why I even asked that question it was pointless," She attempted a smile, "Mark will never be happy with me we are beyond that, he doesn't trust me and he has good reason not to, I can't tell him about the affair until we have annulled our marriage," She spoke realistically. "I understand that separation is probably for the best, its just that in my heart I know he loves you and somewhere deep inside you still love him," She shifted a look to her.

Marlene rolled her eyes grimacing, "I've had nothing but bad luck when it comes to a love life but with Rebecca it was different, I never have loved anyone the way I love her, I want a second chance with her, I want to work on rekindling what we had," She bowed her head, "But I know in my heart it won't be easy, I have to take into consideration all the pain and agony she's been through, the distrust with Lizette and I won't be a rebound for her, I can't she has to realize that Lizette was a mistake and get over her," Grace cleared her throat, "What's going to happen if she doesn't want a romantic relationship with you? Have you thought about that? The outside chance that she wouldn't want a second chance," Marlene stared blankly, "I can't dwell on it, I have to stay positive and hope that she figures it out sooner than later," Grace thought briefly, "Will you stay here? It's your home but the memories were bad and you don't want to be alone," She surmised. "Enough about me, I heard the good news about David," Grace smiled, "And you, you'll have the therapy ward under wraps in no time," They both laughed, "Sad in a way, I never wanted to leave New Haven, my family but this is a chance of a lifetime for David and I know how hard he's worked and he deserves this Marlene," She gleamed with excitement, "I want you to give something some thought," She continued, "What?" Marlene found her expression odd. "I will be taking over next month and I would like for you to considered working for me," She raised her hand, "Let me finish before you say a thing," Marlene closed her mouth and gave Grace her undivided attention.

"David and I toured the hospital, New Port memorial, two weeks ago, David is working on building his team and he's suggested I start doing the same, you'd be perfect and you would love New Port, the shore, the beautiful City, Rhode Island is gorgeous, we could spend time in Nantucket," Marlene dreamed of such a place, walks along the beach, "And its not far from New York, Boston, the theaters, shops," Grace chimed snapping Marlene from her daze, "Your serious about me working for you?" Marlene frowned as she asked, "It's a new hospital and everything will be from scratch you could be so happy there, Rebecca could be enticed to visit, stay as I said its not that far from New York," Grace reminded her trying to keep the conversation positive. Marlene remained quiet as she began to think about Grace's proposal, "When I come to New Haven, I could visit you, see what its like," She remarked, "Its everything you could possibly dream of, quaint a safe harbor away from all the bad things that have plagued you as of late, you could run your own program for yoga," They both giggled, "It's a lot to consider, I don't know that I would stay here especially if things don't workout with Rebecca," Grace grunted mildly, "There's something you should think about Marlene and that's yourself, for once you have an opportunity to make a life for you and your career, isn't that what you've always wanted? Your strong, vibrant and talented, don't throw it away because you think this isn't what Rebecca wants, your asking a lot from her, she still has to get herself together," Marlene heeded her words she poured another glass of wine and let the soothing effects of it relax her.

"Good morning," Marlene chirped meeting Mark in the hallway of the recovery bay, "Morning." He mumbled, "Can we talk?" He asked as they sat down in the waiting room, "I'll be leaving Saturday and I've told Dr. Kessler you would remain for a time but that I didn't know what your plans were, job wise I mean," He grimaced looking her in the eyes, "I haven't decided but thank you for telling him, we haven't exactly had the chance to talk," She slightly grinned trying to keep her composure, "I've scheduled an appointment with an attorney to get the annulment started, "I will be there in a few weeks," She added getting up from the chair, "I have work, we will talk later," She walked out leaving him to ponder all the things that had gone wrong in their marriage his nostrils flared as he thought of Rebecca and her past with Marlene but then calmed himself realizing that Rebecca was only part of the problem and he needed to collect himself and figure out where the path in his life would take him. "Mark," Grace called out he thought of how rudely he treated her the day before, "I'll be staying with Marlene for a few days, she told me you would be leaving soon," He nodded and embraced her, "Yeah, I talked to David he asked me to spend a little time up at his parents farm after I get back," Grace smiled and felt some relief towards him, "I wanted to apologize for my rudeness yesterday, I just haven't been myself and I love her Grace, what will I do?" He sat back down rubbing his face, "You'll go on, you'll have to the world is waiting for the multi talented Dr. Mark Blair," She giggled loudly easing his tension, they had a laugh, "I have to finish packing up my things," He extended his hand to her cheek, "I'll see you soon," He grinned walking away.

Marlene and Grace picked up sandwiches and headed back to the apartment, Marlene's text chimed it was a message from Rebecca, "Meet?" It read in a single word she clutched it tightly, "Rebecca?" Grace asked, "Yes," She was truthful, "After this sandwich, I'm going to relax, go upstairs and have a nap, so while your visiting her you might ought to tell her about your job offer," She winked, they finished there sandwiches, Marlene showered, dressed comfortably and headed to the castle she knocked with eagerness, Rebecca answered letting her in, "You ok?" Rebecca asked offering her a glass of wine she accepted, "Mark is leaving Saturday, I guess the reality of it all will hit me when he does," She voiced sitting on the sofa together, "Has there been any word form Lizette?" Marlene probed, Rebecca frowned, "No but I'm almost sure that before long she'll return to Düsseldorf and beg for forgiveness," She responded, "It must be hard, she's been a part of your life for a long while and to let go after knowing what you do now, how she willfully deceived you, hurt you over and over," Rebecca shook her head, "Enough about Lizette, how are you really?" Marlene sat her glass down and clutched her hands together, "I'm fine, Grace has been there for me, supportive, Mark was actually rational and he will start annulment proceedings with his attorney next week," Rebecca eye her, "Will you have to go back to New Haven?" There was a moment of silence, "Yes, I will have to sign the paperwork and make some decisions," She leaned her head back against the couch, "Will you come back here?" She felt her out, "I don't know," She answered her finger tracing the outline of the sofa.

"Grace and David have accepted new positions in New Port, Rhode Island, there's a new hospital and David will be the head of the surgical team and Grace the therapy department and she's offered me a job," Rebecca looked at her pensively, "Oh, I see, will you accept?" She asked nervously, "I won't know until I tour the hospital and check out the city, then I'll make a decision," She was honest in her reply, "There's really nothing to hold you back, this is what you've wanted for so long, a career a chance to further prove yourself," Rebecca added sipping her wine, "I will come back here after the split and finish up taking care of the apartment, dad is going to stay in Hannover with Dana and Hagen through next spring, Tommy will do his schooling there," She responded, "Have you decided about what your going to do?" Marlene asked her throat tight with angst as to what Rebecca might say, "I need to return to LCL, I've been away too long and I'm thinking of taking it in other directions, we've been successful so far but you know my determination and drive," She slightly laughed. "I do and its what makes you tick," Marlene felt saddened she believed Rebecca to be a changed person not allowing LCL to govern what she did in her life. "So you'll return to work, fall back into that rut you were stuck in," She was adamant, "Marlene, I have so many things to catch up on, please don't be that way," She cried out, "I love you Rebecca and I just don't want to see you go through all that stress again," Marlene moved closer taking Rebecca in arms her chin rested on top of her shoulder, "Things were different before, Tanya has been gone a long while and I'm in charge," She smiled running her fingers through the strands of Marlene's hair.

Marlene slowly pulled back her eyes trained on Rebecca's lips she touched her index finger to them and stared Rebecca could feel the heat rising through her skin, "I Don't think it's a good idea Marlene," Rebecca whispered her eyes still transfixed on Marlene's, "Hmmm, all I can think about is kissing you," She answered removing her finger from her lips and placing her lips to Rebecca's they kissed tongues twirling in lost suspense and uncertainties, "Take me to bed," Marlene begged, "I don't know," Rebecca teased under her breath her lips locked to hers again, "You taste so good," She whimpered and then stood up she took Marlene by the hand pulling her into her, "I want you, I want you so much," Marlene growled, Rebecca begin to strip Marlene 's clothing unbuckling her belt and unzipping her pants until she stood there nude, "I just want to look at you," Rebecca voiced running her hands the length of her arms and clutching her hands, "And I just want to make love to you," She moaned and then grinned. Rebecca pulled the covers back on the bed exposing the sheets, Marlene lay across the coolness of them her hands grabbing Rebecca's backside and pulling her down on top of her, "This feels so good, so right," She whispered her tongue meeting the inside of Rebecca's ear, Rebecca remained silent her mouth tracing the outline of Marlene's neck and then breasts she sucked them making her nipples hard her lips encompassed them in erotic passion she kissed her way down to her navel tonguing it wildly her fingers finding there way into the wetness of her void and sending Marlene into a frenzy of climaxes. Rebecca didn't stop there she moved her lips down to her mound tasting her sweetness and moaning in shear pleasure.

Marlene pulled Rebecca back up to her kissing her passionately and unbuttoning her shirt, exposing her lacy bra, she unsnapped it tossing it to the floor and taking her hardened nipples between her teeth. Rebecca groaned loudly, "Please don't stop," She pushed Marlene's head closer running her fingers through her hair. Marlene's hand found its way to the top button of Rebecca's jeans she unsnapped it sliding her fingers down inside of her and stroking her mound she wriggled her hips in heated desire, Rebecca slid her jeans off quickly as Marlene ran her tongue down between her thighs causing Rebecca to release in intense orgasms they lay spent in each others arms. "Are you alright?" Marlene questioned in a whisper her lips touching the side of Rebecca's face in a sweet kiss, "I'm fine, just thinking and enjoying the silence, you exhaust me you know," She teased back. "I love being here with you, in bed as if we were the only two people in the world," She squeezed Rebecca tighter into her arms, "I've missed this so much the closeness the way you hold me in your arms," Marlene chuckled kissing the side of her face again, "The sex!" She exclaimed loudly, Rebecca rolled on her side and faced her, "Did you not see another woman while you were living in New Haven?" Marlene sighed mildly, "A student once, she was beautiful and younger than me we were lab partners and we hit it off, she knew nothing of my past but somehow she was a solstice to me but she was timid and shy and we only had sex once and she left after that semester and of course Mark came into the picture," Rebecca seemed surprised, "So you knew her before Mark but you didn't try to pursue a relationship with her?" Marlene grinned, "It wasn't the same, we went to a bar and had a little too much to drink and one thing led to another, I woke the next morning and she was laying there in my bed, naked and all I could think about was you," She stated eyeing the expression on Rebecca's face, "I didn't want another woman after you, I loved you not because you were a woman but because you were the person I fell in love with," She reasoned in a simple tone.

"I couldn't believe I actually hooked up with a man," Rebecca began squinting her eyes, "I just couldn't relive what we had at that time with another woman, it just didn't work, I dated a few women but mostly for the sex and not the day to day, ah honey, kiss, kiss, situation," She snickered as she said it, "Tim was there and he cared for me and it was a good relationship at first but I really didn't love him nor did I feel comfortable his past was an issue and he really had no filter," She reminisced.

"I know what you mean, I too was lost and unsure of things my lab partner was curious and she attracted me to her but she was afraid, timid and that's just not me, Mark was there and I let myself go he charmed me and told me how great I was," She closed her eyes thinking about him, "Our lives seem to have revolved and evolved," Rebecca winced, "And here we are back to where we should be," Marlene added, Rebecca remained quiet, "I should go, Grace is probably wondering what's happened to me," She sat up on the side of the bed slipping on her undergarments, Rebecca grasped her around the waist, "Stay, if for just awhile longer, please," She begged. "I would love to but I need to get back," She wriggled her forehead as she answered her, "Ok," Rebecca laid back down, Marlene bent down and kissed her as she buttoned her shirt, "I'll see you tomorrow, nine, we will finish up your therapy," Rebecca climbed from the bed and slipped on her robe, "I'll see you out," They moved from the bedroom to the living room Marlene reached for the doorknob, Rebecca's hand touched hers, "Today was wonderful and I," Marlene stopped her, "You don't need to say anything, I'll see you tomorrow," She left her, Rebecca sat down to the sofa her mind uncertain about where things were leading.

Rebecca dressed for breakfast touching up her hair and applying a small amount of lip gloss when she heard a knock at her door, she straightened her shirt and then answered it, "Mark," She was surprised, "I know I'm the last person you were hoping to see but I would like to talk to you if I could," She stared for a moment and then invited him in, "Thank you," He remarked, "I'll be leaving first thing, I'm returning to New Haven, I guess Marlene told you," He asked her outright, "Uh yes she did and I'm sorry, really, I'm sorry things turned out the way they did, I know she never meant to hurt you," Rebecca implored, "I can't blame her for everything, I know she loves you," Rebecca didn't know what to say at first, "Mark we have a past our history was torrid and we loved each other, Marlene should've told you but I really can't blame her she was hurting and just wanted to forget," She responded, "I don't want this, I love her and I wish she could see, we married because we were in love and to lose everything," He lowered his face in his hands briefly, "I don't know what you want me to say," He breathed in deeply, "I just want her to come back to me and I'm asking you to please leave her alone the only way we have any kind of a chance is if you back away, I'm begging you Rebecca," His pleas were emotional and stark, "I have nothing to do with her decisions, she's her own woman, I can't tell her what to do and I won't lie," She quickly reached and opened the door he began to exit, "Please reconsider, I can make her happy again if she's distanced herself from you, I just need to prove to her that our marriage is worth saving," He nodded his head as a farewell, "I want to thank you again," She walked him out, "You saved me from sure uncertainty and I'll be forever grateful, please remember its her decision not mine as to what she chooses to do with her life, I loved her and I lost her because I was selfish and self centered," She eyed him with frankness, "I'll remember that," He managed a grin as he departed.


	29. Chapter 29

**CHAPTER XXIX**

 **Letting go**

Rebecca began working out as Marlene hadn't arrived yet she worried that Mark may have confronted her she contemplated on whether or not to tell her, "Hey," Marlene walked in startling her, Grace followed, "Your doing great," Rebecca stopped the treadmill, "I am feeling much better and the stiffness I had been feeling is easing up," She smiled hiding the concern she had for Marlene. Grace pulled out the big ball and had Rebecca sit and roll her foot on it at a steady pace, Marlene filled out the chart. Rebecca looked at Grace, "Can I talk to you privately?" Grace furrowed her brow, "Yeah sure, when?" Rebecca looked back up to where Marlene was her eyes still on her chart as she made notes, "Later when Marlene has other patients," Grace nodded her head, "I'll give you my number before I leave call and I can meet you," The arrangement was made. They finished the workout session, "I have two other cases after lunch," She mentioned as they left the castle, Grace slipped her number to Rebecca she nodded in acceptance. Marlene drove them back to the apartment they had lunch, "Are you going in with me this afternoon?" She asked Grace, "No, you go, I need to pack and I think I'll take a nap," She smiled shooing Marlene from the apartment her cell phone rang, "Rebecca, can you come to the apartment?" She asked, "I'll be there shortly," They hung up, Grace curious as to what Rebecca wanted to talk to her about.

Rebecca rang the doorbell, Grace immediately answered, "Come in," Rebecca entered looking around she was hesitant that Marlene could still be there, "Thank you for taking the time to talk with me," Grace led her to the sofa, "You seemed upset," They sat down. "Mark came to see me this morning," She swallowed hard clearing her throat, Grace had a look of surprise, "Oh what did he say?" She got straight to the point, "He seems think I've got some kind of hold on Marlene, I mean he asked me to back away from her," She shrugged her shoulders staring at Grace, "And what did you say?" Rebecca lowered her head briefly looking back up, "I told him that Marlene was her own woman capable of making her own decisions and that I couldn't stop her, Grace he seems to think that Marlene will take him back if they can just return to New Haven," She appeared worried, "I'm not surprised and it does worry me, I tried to reason with him but he was almost delusional," She offered, "I'm afraid deep down he's really angry and he will lash out at her she's already afraid of him," Rebecca stated with emotion. "I can be there for her, I won't be moving to New Port right away, I have family business to take care of so I'm there if and when she needs me," She replied, "Marlene told me about the job offer," Rebecca began, "Thank you for realizing her talent," Grace smiled, "She's very gifted and talented and would be an excellent member of my team," She added with kindness, "I told her she should take the job, its what she really wants, Marlene fought for so long to find herself a career, I'm really sad that what she truly loved to do was ruined and she'll never be able to sing again," Rebecca worded.

Grace arched her brow, "I'm guessing she didn't commit," Rebecca interjected, "Not really, I think it will hinge on my decisions, I haven't told her anything positive so she really doesn't have conformation where I'm concerned," Grace sighed deeply, "How do you feel about her?" Rebecca pursed her lips, "I love her Grace, I always have but she's a part of my past and I had a future with someone else until the accident, I lost my way, me," She pleaded continuing, "I need to figure things out and I need a clear head to do it she asked me what I wanted to do, now that I'm back on my feet and gaining my memory back, I want to return to LCL full time, work with my team take our business in different directions," She was adamant as she spoke, "What was her response?" She questioned, "She was concerned because she knows first hand the stress I suffered trying to keep our business afloat and dealing with my family, it destroyed us literally but things are different now the business is doing the best its done in years, I've worked hard but the last two years I've had to take a backseat to it all, I couldn't function physically and mentally I was challenged," She added frankly sharing her story with Grace. "I can see the need for you to return to what you love, Marlene did say it was your life, I have to ask you this though, did you say you were going to search for her?" Grace awaited an answer, "I did, I remembered that I wanted to reach out and see if there was a second chance for us," She didn't hesitate to answer her, "And how do you feel about it now? You've obviously have been intimate with her and shared time together," Rebecca was slightly surprised that she knew, "So she told you?" She chuckled, "She did of course I had to pull it out of her, it wasn't forthcoming but I knew all along that there was something between you two," She clarified with a grin.

"I guess the obvious question is, are you really thinking of spending your life with her?" Rebecca grimaced at her question, "I'm not sure but please don't tell her I've said that, I don't want to dash her hopes about a future with me, I'm not really sure myself and even though I love her things are different now, I need to rediscover what I've lost just like she did when she decided she needed a change in her life, Mark is her husband and she needs time to heal from this separation," Rebecca voiced calmly, "I know Marlene is in love with you she's told me as much but she did tell me she wouldn't be a rebound for you that in her heart she felt you needed to get over Lizette," There was brief silence as they both took in what was said, "I still love Lizette, I mean I was so angry when I found out about her cheating and then when I had the accident not coming clean about why we argued," Grace stopped her, "I can understand Rebecca but you had made your mind up to look for Marlene and you were going to end things with her anyway," Rebecca moaned, "I know but it doesn't change the fact that I love her and I still do, I won't take her back what we had is definitely over and I know that I must move on," She was realistic as she spoke, "Then you have a lot to think about and a decision to make," Grace advised her, "I don't want to hurt Marlene she couldn't take it right now, all she's been through and all she's hoping for," Rebecca became silent. They finished visiting exchanging goodbyes, "I have to go," Rebecca remarked, "Please keep in touch," Grace ordered kindly walking Rebecca to the door she saw her out her thoughts on Marlene.

Marlene and Rebecca walked hand and hand down the path to the creek that bordered Königsbrunn, "Are you ready?" Rebecca wheeled her around in her arms, "I am or about as ready as I'll ever be," She sighed Kissing Rebecca, "But I'll be back in a week or so, I'll have loose ends to tidy up here," She replied, "I worry for you Marlene," She implored, "Grace will be there and Mark knows this is what's right for us," She tried to calm her, "Marlene I'm afraid he'll try to talk you out of it, he loves you and if he feels you have any chance then he'll fight for it," She looked at Rebecca blankly, "I don't love him, I can't see him being happy knowing how I feel," She winced loudly, they continued to walk, "I will return full time to LCL next week and I've spent the last few days preparing for some new ideas, I want to move us in a whole new direction," Marne lowered her head, "I worry that you'll get stressed," Rebecca brushed the wind blown hair away from her face, "I'm in charge no interference from, Tanja, Tristan, Elisabeth," She reassured her, "I know what I'm doing and I know how to take charge, I'm good," She kissed her cheek embracing her, "I have decisions to make also," She added, "Yes you do," Rebecca further mentioned, "And I support any decision you make for yourself, its important to think of Marlene and not anyone else you've worked so hard to get where you are and this is what you've always wanted," She reminded her. "True but I want you by my side," She relayed firmly, "When you return we will talk," She walked her back up to her car that was parked in front of the castle, "Take care," Rebecca helped her into the car she drove away as Rebecca waved the sadness of her departure encompassed her with grief.

Mark met Marlene at the courthouse, "Are you sure?" He proposed in a quiet tone, Grace clutched her arm, "I'm sure, this is for the best, for me for you so that we can both move on Mark," He had a look of discontent, "I don't want to argue and this is not the place to talk," Grace cleared her throat, "I'm here for you both as moral support, please don't argue," She remarked reminding them they looked at her and entered the foyer meeting Mark's attorney, "Mrs. Blair, I'm assuming you've read over all the documents, "I have," She quickly cut in answering him, they sat in a room with table and chairs the judge came in and spoke with them signing the papers and departing quietly, "Is there anything else?" Marlene questioned the attorney, "No it was cut and dry, no arguments and it made my job easy, most women want whatever they can get out of their husbands," He frowned modestly, "I just wanted to be free so that I can move on with my life," He nodded his head closing his briefcase and leaving them in the room, "I know that was tough, are you sure your ok?" Grace asked, "I'll be alright, I just need some alone time," Grace hurried her back to the apartment, "I've got to finish packing my office, David will be back later this evening go upstairs and rest and I'll be back a little later," Grace let her in the apartment, Marlene slowly climbed the stairs lying across the bed she text Rebecca knowing how late it was there but wanted her to know that the task was done and she was once again a free woman.

Marlene was awakened from a deep sleep by the ringing of the doorbell she raised up confused as to where she was she brushed the hair back from her face, slipped her shoes on and walked down the stairs she answered the door hastily, "Mark, what are you doing here?" She didn't want to let him in, "I just wanted to talk, just a moment, please," He begged, "There's really nothing to talk about, we are no longer married and you don't owe me anything," She rehearsed. Mark let himself in, "Did Rebecca, tell you I paid her a visit?" He asked with hast, Marlene appeared surprised to him she shook her head, "No, no she didn't," She became miffed, "What exactly did you say to her," She clinched her jaw tightly awaiting his response, "I asked her to step away from you, that we might still have a chance when you returned here," She rolled her eyes," Really Mark," She scolded him, "Marlene you have to understand that she's what was standing in our way, I love you and I want a life with you," She walked around to face him directly, "She's not the only problem we had, your not being realistic, your being selfish and unwilling to understand that things just didn't workout," She stammered he lowered his head, "I wanted to talk before the annulment, to convince you that we could start over here but David and Grace talked me out of it they convinced me that it would cause problems and," He stopped talking holding his breath, "I just didn't want to lose you, what we used to have," A tear trickled down his face, "It's over please just leave and stop trying to talk me out of it because you think I feel guilty, neither of us will ever be happy and you know it," He walked back out through the door, "Goodbye Marlene," He spoke not turning back she closed the door.

Marlene entered the doors to the new hospital meeting Grace at the front desk she looked around, "Wow this is nice, state of the art," Her smile warmed Grace, "Come this way," She showed her around they had lunch in the cafeteria, "So what do you think?" Grace quizzed eagerly, "I like it, very much, have you hired anyone else yet?" Marlene asked curiously, "Yes a young man fresh out of school, he'll start for me next week," She replied, "I've visited the town yesterday and I love how quiet and quaint it is," She sipped her coffee, "David and I haven't decided yet on an apartment or a cottage we do love the one we're renting its close to the shore, you should stay with us while you're here," Grace offered. "Thanks but I'm flying out first thing in the morning, I need to close up my father's apartment and see Rebecca," Grace furrowed her brow, "What will you do?" Her tone serious, "I'm going to accept your offer, I mean how can I pass it up, I love what I've seen so far and I need to convince Rebecca," Grace embraced her with excitement, "David will be elated and I can't tell you how happy this makes me and I hope that Rebecca will feel the same," She glowed with anticipation. "Now if you'll excuse there's a few things left in town I want to see," She touched Grace's cheek with her fingers, "I'll call you when I'm returning," She walked her out, Grace felt satisfaction that Marlene was finally turning herself around.

Marlene walked into a very quiet and dark apartment she sat her luggage inside the front door and headed to the shower she needed to relax and get a goodnight's sleep before meeting Rebecca in the morning. Marlene awoke drowsy form a hard sleep she would need to adjust to the time change she dressed and text Rebecca, they would meet at the castle, "Good morning," She sweetly kissed her, Marlene tossed her purse to the sofa wrapping her arms around Rebecca's waist, "I missed you," Rebecca grabbed a lock of her hair and twirled it in her fingers, "And I missed you," Marlene pulled her down to the sofa, kissing her again, "Why didn't you tell me Mark approached you?" She questioned, "I didn't want to upset you and I told him you were your own woman capable of making your own decisions, I trust everything went well," Rebecca voiced, Marlene groaned, "Yes actually he didn't try to talk me out of it until after we signed the papers but, I'm free, free to be me, do what I want," She smiled widely. "I know Grace was there for you, she promised me she would be, I really did worry Marlene," She cupped Rebecca's face in her hand, "I've had some time to think and rest," She started, "And I've decided to take the position with Grace, its everything I could want and more," Rebecca rubbed her nose against Marlene's, "I'm so happy for you a decision made by you and on your own," She added. "Rebecca," Marlene started to talk again, "I have something I want to ask you," She clutched her hand in hers, "Come with me, be by my side, I love you and I know deep down you love me, please say yes," She slightly pleaded, Rebecca took in a deep breath slowly exhaling it, "Marlene, I do love you never doubt it, you mean so much to me but I'm just not ready for a commitment," Marlene bit her lip as Rebecca continued, "Please try and understand that out lives are different now, remember when you decided to leave the pain and heartbreak we both endured? I couldn't make you happy as much as I tried, I just couldn't and you needed to find yourself, we both know how you needed it to thrive and to become who you are today, I don't want to take that away from you," Marlene wept listening to her, "Rebecca, I think I could be happy with you, if you would consider another chance," Rebecca placed her finger to Marlene's lips, "Shh, please let me finish, just as you had to find yourself, I need to do the same, I still have doubts and uncertainties about things and I feel there is still a lot of darkness in my days, cobwebs still cloud my memory about things," She quit speaking momentarily.

"I could help you to regain your memory," Rebecca grinned, "And when I think about it, I still love Lizette," Her tone more serious, "I would be foolish to think you didn't and I understand you thought she would be the one," She explained her heart pounding hard. "You're too kind," Rebecca teased and then once again became quiet, pensive, "If I were to say yes to you what would happen if we decided we couldn't be happy? I'm not ready to take that chance and it would be unfair to the both of us," Her hand touched Marlene's face, "So the time we've spent together meant nothing to you?" Marlene probed, "It meant more than you could imagine but I need to rediscover who I was and I have so many things to attend to, get back on track, my job is waiting and I want to see where that will take me," Marlene shook her head, "I'm sorry, I thought you wanted what I wanted and that was to spend our lives together, tell me something Rebecca, I've told you so many times that I was in love with you but you never really gave me an answer, was every time I told you in vain?" She questioned sternly, "Never, I just wasn't ready or really sure of a commitment, I didn't want to dash any hopes you might have had," Marlene sobbed, Rebecca consoled her, "You should be happy you have a fantastic road ahead of you and you will show them, I know you will this isn't easy for me either to let go is one of the hardest things I've ever had to do, I only want the best for you," She embraced her. Marlene collected her purse, leaving without another word the anguish she felt was too great.


	30. Chapter 30

**CHAPTER XXX**

 **Life Changes**

Marlene placed her baggage by the door and looked around the apartment she walked over to the sofa table and lifted a framed picture of her mother and grinned, "I miss you so much, there isn't a day that goes by that your not in my thoughts," Her eyes began to water the doorbell rang she wondered if it was the cab driver to collect her luggage she opened it to find Rebecca standing there, "Rebecca," She leaned against the jamb not sure she should let her in, "May I?" She motioned to Marlene with her hand, "Sure, what can I do for you?" She asked shutting the door, "I feel you left in hast and anger the other day," Rebecca looked down at the luggage placed by the door, "So your leaving today?" She further questioned, "I am, I start my new job next week and I'll need to look for a place to stay, so yes to answer your question I'm leaving," She looked at her watch, "The taxi should be here in a few," She finished answering. "I'm sorry Marlene," Rebecca implored, "Really its alright Rebecca, I didn't think about how you felt, I guess I was delusional," Rebecca interjected, "That's not fair Marlene and you know it," She replied instantly. "I don't want to argue, I don't want to leave here with anymore bad memories, I played my hand and I failed," Rebecca stopped her, "You didn't fail, these last few months have been exciting, wonderful, you gave me my life back and I will forever be grateful," Marlene lowered her head, "Grateful? Huh," Rebecca tightly shook her head, "I didn't mean it like that, I wish you could understand me, how I feel, why I've made the choices I have, I need to see where the path in front of me leads and I have to do it by myself, no intervention," She stared into the sadness of her blue eyes. Marlene sighed the doorbell rang again Rebecca clutched her by the arms, "Take care," She spoke softly opening the door and leaving not looking back.

Rebecca raised the collar to her jacket against her face as she walked along the shore of the Rhine, "I love you Rebecca," The words Marlene spoke echoed through her mind she found an old log and took a seat on it she watched the tugboats pulling the barges the sounds of the boat horns in the harbor she remembered their walks along the river, their talks when times were happy. Rebecca took in a deep breath and closed her eyes, "I do love you," She whispered under her breath, "But maybe one day I'll find myself and everything will be free and clear to make a life with you Marlene," She answered herself loudly she stood and walked back to LCL opening the doors and breathing in the air of a new day, "Elisabeth," She smiled removing her jacket and sitting her purse on the receptionist desk, "Welcome back," She grasped her in an embrace. "Talk," Rebecca sounded crossing her arms in sadness she followed Elisabeth to her office, "You look upset," Elisabeth stated, "Marlene left today, I," she stopped talking lowering her head, "Your sad because she's leaving, that's understandable, she's gotten you back on your feet and her husband," Elisabeth became mum staring into Rebecca's eyes. "They ended their marriage and she's decided on a job with her friend Grace in Rhode Island and I couldn't be happier for her," Elisabeth could see the angst in her face, "Oh, I didn't know, it happened quickly," Rebecca pursed her lips, "Things weren't so good and she's still very much in love with me," Elisabeth held her breath, "We've talked about this Rebecca, how do you feel now?" She asked plainly.

"I have to figure out where I fit in Elisabeth, I can't just go off and make decisions before I rediscover what I've lost," She plopped down into the chair, "I know in my heart you love her?" Elisabeth stated, "I do and yes I'm still in love with her but I still have deep feelings for LIzette and Marlene knows this and accepts that she's a part of my life and a connection to my accident," Elisabeth sighed, "I can understand you wanting to reclaim your life and the time you've lost but you have to remember you can't dwell on it forever it will come back to you just give it time, don't throw your life away for some idea you might have had before hand," Elisabeth warned. "I went to see her before she left she was pitiful and it hurt me, broke my heart, what if we could never find happiness? I just need to be sure Elisabeth, when I remembered about what happened, I obviously was not happy with Lizette she cheated numerous times and I wanted to search out for a second chance with Marlene, I knew this before the accident but somehow the blow to my head made me forget the real reasons why I wanted to search for her, I don't know if it was because I was so angry with Lizette or I missed what we had and I was terribly lonely," Elisabeth poured her a glass of water and handed it to her, "You never told me before the accident that you felt that way everyone thought you were happy with Lizette, its been years since Marlene and you've barely said a thing about her," Elisabeth sat next to her, "True but she never left my thoughts, however her life is in a mess right now because she wanted me back and her husband found out and things began to spin out of control," Elisabeth looked at her strangely.

Rebecca could only stare off, Elisabeth touched her hand to comfort her, "I wish we wouldn't have slept together it only fueled the fire that's between us," She looked back down into her drinking glass, "Does he know of the affair?" Elisabeth quizzed, "No she chose not to tell him until after the annulment and I'm certain that's not something that was brought up for discussion, she's lied and so have I, I didn't exactly tell Lizette either," She shrugged her shoulders in continuance, "What would be the point, I was already hurting and confused with our confrontation and I felt small and shitty," She voiced with reason. "Don't beat yourself up, things happen for a reason and I know in time you'll make the right choices for yourself," Rebecca managed a smile, "I should get to work, I have some sketches to get started on," She left leaving Elisabeth wondering how long being apart from Marlene would last.

Marlene rested in the arms of Grace who calmed her wiping away the tears that trickled down her face, "I'm so sorry Marlene, I know how much you love Rebecca," She wiped her face with the back of her hand, "It doesn't make it hurt any less," She muttered sharply, "At least you know how she feels and Marlene I can understand her, what she's been through losing the person she wanted to spend her life with, finding you again, I think she's being admirable, letting you find yourself again she felt she needed to step away and you really can't blame her," Her words stern and to the point, "Rebecca was very selfish with herself, its like she never really let me in all we went through the unhappiness, I gave of myself everything to her," She warned, "That was in your past, don't be so hard on her she had to make a decision she felt suited you both, you have to move on now," She advised, "It won't stop me from loving her Grace, my gut hurts thinking about what we could've had," Grace hushed her, "You don't know what your future holds, your free, free to do as you please you have a career waiting just for you to divide and conquer," Her words and smile warmed Marlene's heart. "Why don't we find you a place to live," Grace chimed in changing the subject they opened the newspaper to the classifieds and began their search. "Heard anything from Mark?" Marlene questioned looking up from the newspaper. "Well he and David spent a few days at the farm, just some time to relax," She replied, "Hmmm, I hope he's doing better," She added, "He returns to work Monday he says he's ready to get back into sports medicine," They finished looking at the paper.

Rebecca finished meeting with her team Andre approached her, "The fall schedule?" He questioned staring at her through his bright green eyes, he was her head designer a young man of French decent he had proven his worth numerous times to her when LCL was in a pinch his slender tall figure towered over Rebecca as she looked up to him, "I'm so glad your back, honestly we've all missed you," His smile charmed her, "And its good to be back, I have missed this so much, I've been working on some new sketches and I wanted to talk to you about taking LCL in some new directions," She worded as they headed for her office, "Coffee?" She offered and poured a cup they sat down across from one another, "What did you have in mind?" He further asked, "I'd like to revamp the swimwear line and retool our accessory collection," She opened her sketchpad they viewed her drawings, "As always I'm impressed," He chuckled, "And I think fresh ideas are always useful," He reminded her, "Your too kind," She giggled as they finished discussing the changes she would like to make. There was a moment of silence, "I heard about Lizette," Rebecca grimaced, "I'm sorry too but I have to ask you something Andre," He perked up, "What is it?" She began to talk, "Did you know about her affairs?" He lowered his head, "As always there were rumors, I didn't believe them until I attend the seminar in Monte Carlo and saw her with Carlos Gonzales," Rebecca grunted, "The Gonzales modeling agency," She groaned shaking her head, "I remembered about him, finally I'm getting my memory back and his name was in my head," She grimaced telling him, "You do remember then?" He sat his coffee cup back on the saucer, "A lot and then bits and pieces," She squinted her eyes, "But I knew I was going to leave her," She thought of Marlene. "Well if you planned to then you were very good at keeping that secret," He remarked, "If it weren't for the accident," She pondered he stopped her, "It happened, you know now and your over it, now's the time to get back into the groove," They finished discussing LCL business.

Rebecca sat in her office playing with the keypad on her cell phone she wanted so desperately to text Marlene to know how she was she looked at the time and noted it wasn't too late. "Just checking to see how you are and to make sure you had a safe trip," She thought monetarily before finally sending it she sat it down and began sketching waiting for a returned message she continued to draw eyeing the design she had skillfully penciled her text chimed back, "I hope this text finds you doing well my trip was good and I start work in a few days," Rebecca smiled quickly texting her again, "That's good, I hope you stay in touch," She replied and went back to sketching, Marlene sent back a message, "I don't think it's a good idea, it was painful for me when I left and its in my best interest to move on, I wish you all the happiness in the world, goodbye," It read Rebecca felt a pain in her heart she found her stomach churning with sadness. "Marlene," She whispered wiping her eyes as they formed tears she swallowed hard and turned her phone off siting back in her chair her thoughts flooded with guilt and pensiveness. Elisabeth entered her office, "Hey, come in," She tried to put on a good face, "What's wrong Rebecca?" Elisabeth approached her with concern, "Marlene, I text her to check on her and she basically asked me not to contact her again," She shrugged rolling her eyes, "Once again I've hurt her deeply, god, I know I can't have it both ways," She uttered, Elisabeth sat down, "Focus on what's in front of you, things will smooth themselves out, you've decided on a career here or at least that's what you've told me earlier today," She kindly warned. "Marlene needs to find herself again, I can't change that and I won't interfere she needs this," Rebecca begged.

"Marlene, what's up?" Grace sat out on the porch with her the cool wind of a fall evening shrouded them, "Rebecca text, I told her it was best if we didn't communicate anymore," She lowered her head rubbing the screen of her cell phone with her thumb and bowing her head, "Are you sure that's what you want? You can't be angry with her forever she made a decision that she felt would benefit you both in the long run and who knows, in time things might change," Marlene mildly interjected, "I thought love was suppose to conquer all?" Grace hesitated, "Only in books and movies," She caused Marlene to chuckle, "I don't think you should cut off all communication, drop her a card or letter every once in awhile," She offered, "I don't know, I need to get more involved in my job right now and not worry about my love life or the people I've hurt," She reassured her, "Are you excited about the apartment we found?" Grace quizzed, "I am, I'm ready to unpack settle in, it will be just finding the time to do so," She voiced with excitement, "You can take few days before you start work to settle," Marlene grinned, "I've never thanked you," She began, "Thanked me for what?" Grace gave her, her undivided attention, "For being there for me, for understanding and most of all for being my best friend, I don't know what I would do without you, your support, I know I hurt Mark and yes you two were close but you've managed to look past it all," She remarked. "What are best friends for, yes I'm sad that things didn't work out with Mark but its better to know it now then later in the marriage or if you might have been pregnant," She added seriously. "It's getting late, we should start thinking about dinner," Grace spoke taking her by the hand and pulling her up.

Rebecca and Elisabeth went over the new sketches she had created, "I like these ideas, I wouldn't have thought of revamping wet fantasy and the accessories collection, adding to them in different ways is such a great idea," She set the sketches back down on Rebecca's desk, "Yes, I think those changes are necessary to venture out," She answered but seemed distant to Elisabeth, "Rebecca, take your time, rest and don't over do it," She grimaced, "I just don't know if I've made the right decision Elisabeth, I don't feel so good on the inside, I've managed to hurt the woman I love," She mentioned sighing and closing her eyes, "You haven't given up totally, like we talked earlier once you've gained your memory back then you'll know why you wanted to find her and," Rebecca quickly cut in, "She doesn't want me, I've made a mess of things and I keep repeating the same mistakes over and over, I'm not going to beg for a second chance and I'll say it again, I never really thought I could make her happy, she would always have a nagging doubt about me, my motives or even what I was thinking most of the time, I just can't go through anymore gut wrenching or traumatic events," She stammered loudly, "Stop it Rebecca," Elisabeth scolded gruffly, Rebecca's stare was piercing, "You are at a time in your life where everything in your mind is fresh and new and your making strides everyday to remember, don't overload yourself, calm down, have a plan," She ordered, Rebecca stood up, "I'm tired already and if you don't mind I need to go home and rest," She collected her purse and sketchpad, "I'll see you at dinner," She added looking at Elisabeth with doubt about her future.

Tristan entered the dinning room, "Oh hey I didn't know you were in town," Rebecca spoke as he sat next to her, "Bank meeting tomorrow downtown," He answered with a smile. "Hmmm," She picked at the food on her plate, "Elisabeth?" He looked around, "Study, phone call," Her tone sullen, "I heard Marlene has left for a new job stateside," He began to speak, "Yeah its for the best," She replied, "Rebecca you don't fool me, why the long face?" He placed his hand to her shoulder she gave him a strange look, "We met before she left and she wanted me to go with her, I thought about it but I told her no that I wasn't ready for a relationship, that like she did, I needed to rediscover what I lost and where my path might lead me," He listened rubbing his face, "What was her response?" Rebecca lowered her head, "She wasn't happy but I think she understands, I still love Lizette Tristan, its not that easy and I can't just take off with her and she's told me that she wouldn't be a rebound for me," He groaned mildly, "Do you love her? I mean, I know in your heart she will always be the love of your life but honestly she loves you and I know it won't be that easy to get over Lizette, don't throw it away for a dumb idea," He finished speaking as Elisabeth rejoined them for dinner.


	31. Chapter 31

**XXXI**

 **A Bend in the path**

The days turned into weeks and the weeks into months, Rebecca made great strides in preparing for the winter fashion show that would be hosted by LCL, "Have you had all the collections pressed?" She asked Andre her clip board in hand, "Yes, I just left the ironers and I told them to get those racks rolled down to the catwalk," He replied, "What would I do without you," She stated, "Oh by the way there's a reporter downstairs, new guy for Fashion Düsseldorf, I believe he said his name was Eric and he was looking for you," She nodded and finished checking her paperwork, "Let me meet with him quickly, I don't want to get a late start," She remarked, "Don't worry we will be on time," He shooed her away. Rebecca made her way downstairs and as she did she saw a strikingly handsome man pacing while speaking on his cell phone, "Hello," She walked up to him he quickly hung up the phone, "You must be Rebecca Von Lahnstein," He extended his hand out clutching hers, "I'm Eric, Eric Drake and I'm with Fashion Düsseldorf," He had gleam in his bright blue eyes she stared for a moment intrigued by him, Eric was a well built young man with jet black hair he toyed with the mustache on his face as he awaited a response from her, "Uh, yes, Rebecca Von Lahnstein," She responded eagerly her attention drawn to him, he grinned in a kind way staring back at her, "My office," She motioned he followed she gave him an interview and walked him to the reporter's seating area.

The fashion show was a big success, Tristan had roses sent to Rebecca and interviews were given by Rebecca and Elisabeth, "Ollie," Rebecca called out, "I wanted to thank you once again you've stepped up and showed us just how well you look in swimwear," She teased, "Thank you Rebecca," He hugged her, "Party at No Limits, everyone," He spoke loudly gaining many of the workers attention. "Will you be attending?" Ollie further asked Rebecca, "Yes, I have a few things to do around here and then I'll be over, save me a seat at the bar," She order, "Good then I'll see you in a bit," He left she returned to her office and finished the paperwork necessary to close out the winter show, "Success," She thought rationally, Tristan knocked, "Care to join me at No Limits?" He sat down in front of her desk, "Yes, I told Ollie to save me a seat at the bar," She answered, "The show was brilliant and a success, I want to congratulate you and your staff for a job well done," She smiled enjoying the vote of confidence he bestowed on her, "I have a great team and Elisabeth has been gracious, we've all worked hard over the last couple of months to make this happen," She insisted, "Not to change the subject but Christmas is in two weeks, will Ann and the girls be visiting?" He grinned, "Yes, we will be here," Rebecca seemed elated as she shut down her laptop, "No Limits?" She winked Tristan escorted her out of LCL.

The sounds of glasses clinking and the noise from the background music playing welcomed Rebecca and Tristan in to No Limits. Ollie worked mixing drinks, "Hey you made it," He smiled pouring her a vodka and tonic, "Tristan?" He asked pulling out a glass from under the counter, "Scotch, please," They sat at the bar, "Ollie I see you're still modeling some," He grinned, "I was about to give it up but Rebecca talked me into it," She moaned grabbing his hand, "It didn't take much," They laughed Tristan looked up seeing a familiar face, "Excuse me Rebecca, I see a collogue from the bank," He walked away, Rebecca sipped her drink, "Hey, I wasn't sure if you were coming or not," Eric walked up to the bar next to Rebecca, "Beer please," He ordered and took a seat next to her, "Hello again," She spoke with a smile, "Well I have to say you turned the fashion world on its ear this evening," He teased with seriousness, "Thank you," She casually mentioned, "Here with anyone?" He questioned looking around, "No just my brother Tristan," She mildly answered, "I see well I hope you don't mind that I sat next to you, I thought I'd like to get to know you better," He quickly took a swig of his drink uncertain of what she might say, "Ok," She finally spoke, "I'm thirty three, single and very busy at fashion designing," She started the conversation, "Single huh? Are you sure?" He seemed surprised questioning her, "I'm positive, so tell me about yourself," She ordered another drink, "I'm single as well, I'm from London, thirty two and I graduated from Oxford with a degree in journalism," He answered her firmly. "So you're living in Düsseldorf now," She thought out loud, "Yes they made me an offer I couldn't refuse," He affirmed. "So you've lived here all of your life?" He asked her, "Huh uh, except for boarding school and time in New York, LCL is owned by my family and I've been destined to work there all my life," She remarked with coolness in her tone.

Eric stared deeply into the darkness of Rebecca's eyes he was attracted physically he found her to be worldly and beautiful, "I," He began to speak when a slow song came on, Rebecca immediately grabbed him by the hand, "Dance," She ordered pulling him to the floor. Eric took her closely in his arms resting his chin atop her shoulder he could smell the sweetness of her perfume radiate from her skin she lay her hand on his upper chest and could feel the ticking of his heart they said little to one another enjoying the dance, "I'm not very good at dancing," He mumbled as they returned to the bar, "Two left feet," He added in a chuckle. "Go out with me," He briefly mentioned, "Out huh?" She questioned in a relaxed voice, "Yes, I would love to take you to dinner, I'm new here and don't know much about Düsseldorf, I have an assignment in Berlin the next two days and I was wondering if you'd like to go when I return?" He asked with a simple grin. Rebecca wrote her phone number on a bar napkin and handed it to him, Tristan approached them, "It's late," He versed, "Tristan Von Lahnstein," He extended his hand out to him, "Eric Drake," They shook, "I to must go, I have an early flight to Berlin, I'll call you," He stated they parted ways, "Seems like a nice guy," Tristan started the conversation as he drove Rebecca back to the castle, "Yes, we met earlier he's a reporter for Fashion Düsseldorf," She answered, "I watched and he couldn't take his eyes off of you," She giggled nudging his arm with her fist, "I like him, he's new here, from London and he doesn't know much about Düsseldorf," Tristan groaned, "He's definitely interested," He surmised and continued, "But the question remains are you?" He remarked pulling up to the circular drive in front of the castle doors, "Good night and thank you," She kissed his cheek he watched her enter.

"Help me with this garland, will you," Grace barked, Marlene helped her tack it up in the hospital lounge, "It's hard to believe its almost Christmas," Marlene remarked, "We've been working so hard, I nearly forgot about the decorations," Marlene stared out the window as Grace spoke and chattered the heavy snowfall had covered the window ceil the day dusky and gray, "You miss home at this time of year don't you?" Grace inched closer to her, "Things were good in New Haven, Christmases away from my family have been difficult but its worse not being with the one you truly love," She turned and faced Grace, "Have you tried to contact her?" She asked placing her hands atop her shoulders, "I can't, I told her a few months back not to contact me again, I can't go through the heartbreak of her indecisions," Grace lowered her forehead against the side of Marlene's arm, "You've managed to keep yourself busy and I worry about you," She versed, "There's no need to worry, your right I have managed to keep myself busy and throw myself into my work," Grace sighed, "You've got to have a life at some point," She teased lightly, "Maybe one day," She replied gingerly, "Its late and I have one patient left before I go home," Marlene spoke helping her finish up the decorations, "You should mail Rebecca a card, find out how she's doing, it wouldn't hurt, you never know," She advised kindly. Marlene finished up and headed back towards her apartment she stopped at the pharmacy and picked up a thinking of you card.

Marlene tossed her coat to the chair entering the apartment she laid the card on the table and sat down with an ink pen in hand, "Rebecca, Rebecca," She whispered under her breath. "Rebecca," She began to write, "Just dropping you a line to see how you are, I often think of you and that your on the mend both physically and mentally, I miss the times we spent together and I hope you are enjoying great success," She ended it with, "Always, Marlene," She sealed it not wishing to write more the sadness that encompassed her was unbearable she sobbed loudly placing a postage stamp on the envelope she then tossed it back down to the table. Marlene sunk herself into the warm confines of her bed she felt around the mattress wishing Rebecca were lying there by her side she wrinkled her face the tears streaming again, "I miss you and I love you," She whimpered the time that divided them more painful then she could ever had guessed. Marlene thought hard and long about tearing up the card she was about to send but heeded and thought of Grace's words she didn't know Rebecca's thoughts or even about the state she was in she needed desperately to reach out to see if they could eventually rekindle the love they had lost she made up her mind she would send the card and wait for an outcome.

Rebecca fumbled through the paperwork that sat on her desk with the fashion show behind her it was now time to start preparing for fashion days. "Excuse me," The receptionist called from the door, "Yes," She looked up at her, "There's a gentleman here to see you," She opened the door wider, Eric stood behind her, "Please come in," She smiled welcoming him in they embraced momentarily, "I hope you don't mind me stopping by, I got in from Berlin late last night and you were on my mind," His smiled charmed Rebecca she grinned he took a seat in front of her desk, "Looks like the paperwork from the fashion show is a little overwhelming," He thumbed the outer edges of it," As he spoke, they laughed she pushed it to the side, "So how was Berlin?" She began, "Interesting," His tone quirky, "Glad to be back in Düsseldorf?" She inquired, "A little more laid back," He giggled roughly, "Your interview," She eyed him as she asked, "Next week's magazine and I promise, its honest," He teased gazing into her eyes, "Well I should hope so it seems it was a hit and I'm preparing for fashion days," He shook his head, "You can't work all of the time you need to have a little fun!" He exclaimed, "I've been off way too long and I'm just getting back into the swing of things," He frowned unsure of what she meant, "I had an accident a couple of years ago and I've had several surgeries and therapy," Her mind trailed to Marlene. "Oh, I'm sorry I didn't realize you had been through so much," His gaze now sad, "Its fine now and I'm over it, unfortunately I'll always experience some stiffness and pain in my leg and my memory," She placed her fist under her chin thinking, "Maybe you could share it with me over dinner?" He politely asked, "I don't see why not," Eric appeared happy and made arrangements for later that evening.

"You look nice," Elisabeth spoke, "Is that a new dress?" Rebecca grinned coming down the stairs, "It is and actually I have a date tonight," She walked with Elisabeth into the dinning room, "I'm glad to see that you are going out again is this someone special?" She probed, "Eric Drake, from the Fashion Düsseldorf magazine," She relayed, "Yes, I met him before the fashion show, very handsome and appears to be very pleasant," She remembered him as she took a seat at the table, "Tea madam," Justus asked, "Yes please," She answered him and then continued speaking with Rebecca, "I like him, he's very charming and he's new here, from London and doesn't know much about our great City," She explained the doorbell rang, "Have fun and bundle up its cold out," She smiled touching Rebecca's hand in assurance, "Thank you," She walked to the door and answered it Eric stood there looking her lean frame over, "You look beautiful," He posed his arm resting against the door jamb, "Why thank you, shall we," She motioned to his car with a flick of her hand he opened the door for her securing her in, "We have a reservation for seven thirty at Schneider's," She voiced, "I hope you don't mind its one of my favorite places and Charlie is a good friend of the family," She finished speaking, "No, I don't mind at all, I've never eaten there so I'm glad you're a take charge kind of woman," He winked she grinned looking at him they drove away from the castle.

"Charlie," Rebecca grasped her in a hug, "Its so good to see you out again," She laughed looking at Eric, "Eric this Charlie Helmke," She extended her hand to him, "Eric, welcome to Schneider's," She showed them to their table, "Enjoy," She handed them menus, "So what do you like," He asked looking over the top of the menu arching his brow, "The salmon with the rice pilaf is excellent here," She answered as she ordered them both a glass of red wine from the waiter, So, you had an accident, car? What?" He asked closing the menu and laying it to the side, "Motorcycle, my live in and I weren't working out and I wanted to end things, we argued, I left in a hurry and a truck driver hit me," She told him, "Wow, it's a miracle," He started to say, "Yeah that I'm alive, I was in a coma for days and my leg really messed up, I'm lucky," She went on to say. "It could've been worse but I'm glad you're ok and here with me having dinner," He responded with a smile, "So what about you?" She questioned, "As I told you I graduated from Oxford, I'm a native Londoner and I love football," He sipped his wine, "Anyone serious?" She asked, "No not in a while, I left England because of a situation but I've never married," He answered honestly, Rebecca furrowed her brow, "I see so the job offer was really a way to get away from England," She surmised, "Yes and no, I was offered the job, I interviewed, it was perfect for me and so here I am," He traced the rim of his wine glass with his fingertip. The pianist opened up with a slow song they got up to dance.

Eric held Rebecca closely in his arms as they swayed slowly to the music, "You are so beautiful," He whispered facing her, his hand touching the side of her face she smiled as they continued until the song ended and dinner was served. Eric laid his napkin on the table, "This was excellent, thank you for choosing such a nice place and with good music," Rebecca giggled, "I thought you might like it but its getting late and I have a busy day tomorrow," She looked to her wristwatch. "Ok, are you sure I can't interest you in a nightcap, maybe, No Limits?" They walked out into the parking lot, "I guess one drink won't hurt but just one," She raised her index finger they drove to No Limits, "Ollie," Rebecca whaled they embraced she introduced him to Eric, "Rebecca," Ollie pulled her to the side, "Lizette?" He asked staring back at Eric hanging their coats up on the rack, "Where have you been? We broke up, I remembered and it's all slowly coming back to me, my memory," She looked at him, "Wasn't Marlene part of the reason for your breakup?" Rebecca groaned, "Please we will talk later, not a word," She placed her finger to her lips, "Ok," He whispered as Eric joined her at the bar, "I hope you'll want to go out again," He worded in a happy tone, "Yes, I had fun but I need to go," They finished their drinks. Eric walked Rebecca to the door he looked around, "You actually live in a castle?" She smiled, "Yes, Königsbrunn has been in my family for hundreds of years," She explained leaning against the door he reached forward brushing his lips against hers she slightly pulled away, "Goodnight," She entered, "I'll see you later," She closed the door leaving him to wonder about her.


	32. Chapter 32

**CHAPTER XXXII**

 **Decisions of the heart**

Rebecca and Andre viewed the video of the fashion show, "Wow that seems to be a favorite of the crowd," Rebecca mentioned, Andre grinned seriously his chin resting in his hand, "I think wet fantasy revised was such a great idea and older line getting a new look," Rebecca sat down to the drawing table she thought back to Marlene and the photo shoot they did together, "Are you alright?" He touched her shoulder gaining her attention back, "Just remembering something," She smiled, Marlene deep in her heart, "Care to share?" He sat next to her, "Are you thinking of Lizette? I mean it hasn't been that long," She shook her head, "Not Lizette," He peered at her strangely, "There was someone else greater than Lizette?" He became mystified, "There was and she was the greatest love of my life, we reunited recently," She hesitated a moment, "She was married and has a new career," She didn't elaborate further, "Oh so nothing was rekindled, what happened?" He became curious, "Lets just say I broke her heart, we had everything but I let this job and my indecisions ruin things for us," She stared momentarily. "I'm sorry Rebecca, I guess Lizette was an after thought?" He asked, "Not really, Marlene was years ago, I met and fell in love with her later in my life of course you know this," She snickered they both enjoyed a laugh. "This Marlene, I know you say she was married but do you feel there's still a chance?" Rebecca crossed her arms and bowed, her head, "There could be but she chose to take her career to new heights and she left," She seemed sad to Andre.

"Don't give up," He ordered, I know you and I can tell something's really nagging at you," She grimaced, "Eric and I went out last night," She peeked up at him, "Hmmm, he seems nice enough but does he fit into your scheme of things?" He placed his hands across Rebecca's shoulders pulling her up from the stool, "You have to be honest with him about Lizette and your past if you feel this is going somewhere he needs to know of your sexuality," Andre warned, "I like him, I like him a lot actually," She stated, "I know he needs to know about me and my past, if things began to grow between us then I'll need to be honest," They were suddenly startled by a delivery man standing in front of them with a dozen red roses, "Yes, Ms. Von Lahnstein?" He questioned pushing the flowers forward and handing them to her, she smelled them, "Thank you," She laid them down picking the card out of the middle of the bouquet, "Well don't keep me in suspense," Andre teased she opened the card, "Beautiful roses for a lovely lady, hope you have a wonderful day, Eric" She read it out loud. "Exactly what I'm talking about Rebecca, this guy is very interested in you and you have to decide the same if Marlene is who you have deep feelings for its not fair to either of them if your playing a game," He warned her she shrugged knowing what he had said to be the truth, "I have some decisions to make but right now I just want to have a little fun, date, go out enjoy the company I'm with," She barked mildly causing Andre to chuckle he picked up a roll of material, "I have work to do, the May collection won't wait," He relayed leaving her to think as she reread the card from Eric.

"Good evening," Grace entered Marlene's apartment, "Hey," She closed the door behind her they began to decorate the little Christmas tree Marlene had bought, "It's a little late don't you think?" Grace eyed her giving her a nudge, "No it's the nineteenth and it's better late then never," She spoke seriously, "Cocoa?" Marlene questioned changing the subject, "Sure," They walked into the small kitchen off the living room, Grace sat down to the table, Marlene prepared them cocoa Grace peered down and saw the envelope lying on the table it was made out to Rebecca, "Marlene, I thought you mailed this last week," She uttered, Marlene turned around, "I don't know Grace, its not a good time and I need to move on, while I love Rebecca, I don't think she'll ever be ready for a permanent relationship," Grace grasped her hand, "You won't know unless you try and I know in my heart Marlene that Rebecca loves you very much she's just been through a lot and I can respect she want's to find what she's lost again," She tried to be helpful and encouraging, Marlene toyed with her mug, "I should send it, you're right, I've already been rejected once, it couldn't hurt," There was an air of negativity surrounding them, "Be kind and not angry," Grace ordered. "More than anything, I want her to be happy, I went through something similar when our relationship ended, it wasn't about second chances, it was about me starting over," She remarked firmly finishing her cocoa. "And you've given her that same space, how do you know what's she's feeling?" Grace stared at Marlene, "I will mail it tomorrow," She caved in.

"It's late and I'm tired," Andre sounded as he and Rebecca finished up the last of his spring collection, "Excellent job," She tapped his shoulder, "Couldn't have done it without you," He grinned, "Hey," Eric walked up the stairs, Rebecca looked at her watch, "I'm sorry we've been trying to finish up, "Andre," Eric extended his hand to him in conformation, "You two have fun," He left them, "Are you ready?" He asked helping Rebecca put her coat on, "What do you have planned," She asked, "Dinner and I thought we could take in a movie," She nodded as they enjoyed the evening, Eric brought her back to the castle, "Care for a nightcap?" She inquired, "Sure," He smiled entering the castle and into the great room, "This place is stunning and I hope you'll show it to me one day," He spoke gazing at the fine artwork on the wall they took a seat in front of the fireplace its flames sparking and crackling relaxed them. "I wanted to thank you again for the beautiful roses," He sipped his scotch, "Rebecca, these last few weeks have been wonderful, fun and I've enjoyed being with you and I want to see you more," He implored. "I've enjoyed my time with you and yes, I would like to see you more too," She smiled he stood up setting his glass down he took Rebecca by the hand pulling her up from the chair and closer to him they kissed passionately. Rebecca pulled back, "It's getting late and I have an early morning meeting," She spoke her fingers tracing the lapel of his jacket, "Yeah, I should go," She walked him out he moved up to her placing his lips to hers again they kissed gently, "Goodnight," She ordered quietly he parted she walked back to the orangery.

Rebecca sat in her office thumbing through one of the fashion magazines when a knock came to her door, "Come in," She called out, "Rebecca," She quickly looked up to see Lizette standing in the doorway, "Lizette, what are you doing here?" She seemed surprised to see her, "I thought I'd stop by, I had a one day shoot in Köln and I was wondering how you are," She moved a little closer, "I'm fine, coffee?" She offered, "No, no thanks," She answered. "Your looking well," She commented gazing into her eyes, "I'm doing much better and yourself?" She quizzed offering Lizette a seat with the motion of her hand, "I'm good, I'm working hard and as much as possible, I'm on my way home for a much needed break," She answered making herself comfortable in the chair. "I see so you are going to spend Christmas with your family?" She questioned, "My father thinks I'm away too much and my mother's health is frail," She answered, "Marlene?" she looked around the office for some sign of her, "Marlene's not here, she's took a job stateside several months ago," She cleared her throat as she answered her, "I'm really sorry about everything Rebecca," Lizette began, "It's not necessary," Rebecca stopped her from talking further, "I feel I owe you and I do love you still," She whimpered, "Lizette it was never going to work, I wasn't happy and if you think about it you weren't really either," Rebecca warned cutting her an eye. "I was hoping that if we could take our time we could rekindle what we lost, I promise to quit modeling and settle right here with you," She begged, "It wouldn't work, we can't go back besides I wasn't completely honest with you," She stared directly into her eyes, "I slept with Marlene, I never told you, I just didn't want you to retaliate and hurt her chances of making up with her husband," Rebecca claimed shocking Lizette she felt small and broken, "You cheated?" She spoke fumbling with her words.

There was a moment of silence neither could speak the room was filled with friction, "I'm sorry but I'm in love with her," She answered honestly the words she couldn't speak to Marlene fell from her lips, "I know you are, you've said as much but you chastised me," She pointed to herself in a rage, "And the whole time you were sleeping with her, what did you do? Wait for me to leave?" Rebecca hung her head, "It wasn't like that, I was alone a lot, I begged you to stay or did you forget about that?" Her question on target, Lizette stood up. "Really why don't we just be honest," Rebecca gritted her teeth, "Be honest? You were never honest, you lied to me from the start," Lizette had a red streak across her face, "So you see neither of us would be happy, I won't take you back ever," Rebecca chuckled sarcastically and then continued, "You say to have me back you would give up modeling, move here, come on Lizette we both know that's a god damn ploy, you would never settle for sitting, its just another lie in your scheme of things," She nearly buckled from Rebecca's words she felt weak in the knees, "It doesn't change the fact that I love you still," She pleaded, Rebecca groaned, "It's over, I need to move on and I think we've established that fact, its what's best for the both of us," Lizette began to weep listening to Rebecca's harsh words, "I have to know something," She asked with a tremble in her voice, "Did you really love me once?" Rebecca swallowed hard, "I would be a liar if I said I didn't," She answered rationally. "Then there's still a possibility, a chance," Lizette surmised under her breath. "No there's no chance, I just told you I need to move on and so do you, we can't go on in this circle of distrust and lack of honesty, You know how I feel, I love Marlene, but she needs to be happy and to do so she had to leave," Lizette pursed her lips, wiping her eyes.

Eric entered LCL walking over to Rebecca's office he noticed the blinds were closed and started to knock when he heard voices from within, "Why can't you see, there's nothing standing in our way, I can love you if you'll just let me, Marlene's gone, I know you miss what we had, please Rebecca, I'm begging you to reconsider," Her pleas fell on deaf ears her attempts to reconcile were all in vain, "I have to forget about you and what we had, it wasn't easy from the start but the thought of you with other men and god knows who else just darkens my anger," Rebecca grimaced, "Will you reconcile with Marlene?" She questioned firmly, "Marlene is no longer in the picture, I'm not ready for a serious relationship, I need to find myself again, everything I lost from the accident is slowly coming back to me, my head is the clearest it's been in a long time, your disruptive and I don't trust you, I won't ever feel that trust again, I can't say I don't love you but its something I'll get over in time my heart was broken by you, you destroyed any real chance for us by lying and cheating," She sighed finishing and crossing her arms. Eric stood outside Rebecca's door taking in the revelations Rebecca had just spoken, "Then I guess its goodbye," Lizette stammered slinging open the door and quickly escaping Eric moved out of her way. Rebecca plucked a tissue from the box on her desk and wiped her eyes, Eric entered, "I'm sorry but I couldn't help but overhear," He looked at her strangely. "Now's not really a good time Eric," Rebecca voiced in angst, "Rebecca, I think you owe me an explanation," He answered she took in a deep breath as he closed the door, "Lizette was my girlfriend," She started, "For three years," She stumbled over her words. "Girlfriend?" He questioned unsure of what he really had heard, "Yes she was my super model girlfriend," She grinned impishly trying to forget the conversation that went on between the two of them.

Eric could only stare, "Care to take a walk?" She asked grabbing her coat from the back of the chair, "I could use some fresh air," She felt tense he followed her out, "Rebecca why didn't you tell me you were, were gay," He looked for the words to say they sat on a bench in the park they had walked to, "I don't care much for labels, what I do care about is how I feel about somebody when I meet them, if they fascinate me in ways," She smiled staring him in the eyes, "We were in love but she's a liar and a cheat and she schemed to get her way about things," She explained, "She was the cause of your accident?" He questioned in earnest trying to understand, "We argued about her infidelities and I had planned to leave her we met and things became heated, I left in a hurry and that's when the accident happened," She told him, "I don't know what to say, obviously you still love her," He worded lowering his face in his hands, "I understand if this is not right for you and you don't want to see me," Rebecca touched the sleeve of his shirt, "But we all have a past and well, skeletons in out closets," She became serious he looked up at her thinking about the conversation he had heard, "I care a lot about you Rebecca but maybe you need time, time to think about what it is you want exactly," He spoke honestly, "I have so many things to think about but right now I'm having fun with you the companionship is great," She tried to ease his conscience. "Nothing is serious between us, I'm just not ready for that type of commitment Eric," She reassured him he grunted mildly, "I have to get back to work, I have some editing to do this afternoon, I'll call you," He relayed leaving her sitting on the bench to ponder what had transpired.

Marlene slipped on her lab coat, "One patient left and then a few days off, Christmas," She seemed excited to Grace, "Well I'm glad your mood is good," She walked out of the lounge with her, "I actually am going to bake a German chocolate cake to bring over, my grandmother's recipe," She smiled they stopped at the nurse's station, Marlene picked up her charts, "Did you mail that card to Rebecca?" Marlene stopped dead in the hall way, "I did the next day after we talked she may get it tomorrow," She voiced quietly, "Don't give up, I know deep down you're lonely," She replied, "Everyday is getting better Grace, I'm enjoying my work here, I love my solitary walks along the beach and I'm thinking of instructing a yoga class here starting in the spring, who knows maybe I'll meet someone special," She frowned, "Or maybe not," Grace chuckled boldly, "I'm just glad you are here with us, you know David and I have your back and whatever you need, we will be here for you," She responded touching her index finger to Marlene's cheek, "I have a patient waiting," She told her leaving Grace standing in the hall she shook her head, "I hope you did really mail that card," She spoke under her breath.

Rebecca entered the door of the castle, "You're home early," Elisabeth chimed, "Its Christmas eve, I sent everyone home early and we've shut down," She answered hanging her coat up, "Care for some eggnog?" Rebecca walked with her down to the kitchen, "Tristan and the girls are on there way, is Eric coming by?" She inquired, "He text me this morning he's spending Christmas in London," She had a look of sadness on her face, "You like him don't you?" She mildly questioned, "I do, a lot, he's very kind and sincere and we've had fun, no seriousness just a good time but," She hesitated before continuing, "He found out about me and Lizette, she showed up the other day and it was confrontational needless to say," Mrs. Lentz brought her a cup off eggnog to the table," She nodded, "Lizette wanted to continue things I guess?" Elisabeth surmised, "She did, Eric overheard our conversation and I think it surprised him, I think he wasn't prepared for the fact that I was with a woman, he questioned me about my sexuality," She added sipping her eggnog, "And what did you say to him?" She asked, "That I didn't like labels that it was about the person and how they fascinated me when I met them," She explained, "He knows about Lizette did you mention Marlene?" Rebecca grimaced, "I didn't Elisabeth, you know how I feel about her, I want her to be happy and it would be hard for him to hear that I was still in love with her," A tear formed in the corner of her eye, "I'm still on the road to recovery and don't want or need another heart ache," Elisabeth touched her hand, "So Eric is something friendly for you?" Rebecca shook her head, "I don't know where this will lead, I just know that he's great and a gentleman and we like some of the same things," She wiped her eyes with a napkin.

Elisabeth pulled the card out from behind the table decoration and handed it to Rebecca, "This came today from Marlene," She watched the expression on Rebecca's face, "Why don't you take it to the Orangery and read it, get some rest you've been working hard since the fashion show," Her voice soothing, "Thank you Elisabeth, you are the best listener," They both giggled she got up from the table and headed to the orangery she opened the door turning on the lights, it was a lonely place unfulfilled, she thought of the excitement of past Christmases she plopped down on the sofa slowly opening the card she read it over and over and then slipped it back in the envelope she got up taking it to bed with her she retrieved her cell phone form her purse and sent Marlene a text, "Received your card today, thank you, I'm fine and growing stronger everyday, work has kept me busy as I'm sure yours has too, I hope you have a wonderful Christmas and a prosperous new year, always, Rebecca," She attached a smiley face and sent it tossing the phone across the bed she placed her hands behind her head in thought she stared at the ceiling in contemplation of where her life was going.


	33. Chapter 33

**CHAPTER XXXIII**

 **She loves me she loves me not**

Grace approached Marlene in the therapy room, "David and I have decided to have a New years eve party," Marlene set her charts down, "Sounds good, what time and what do I need to bring?" She asked, "Uh, whatever you would like to drink, maybe a bottle of red wine," Marlene looked at her with unease, "Is something wrong Grace? I mean your being vague," She mentioned flipping open one of her charts, "Mark is coming for a few days, he wants to visit, tour the hospital," Marlene rolled her eyes, "He's not thinking of relocating here is he?" She seemed concerned to Grace, "Uh no just a visit as I said and I didn't know how you'd really feel," Marlene thought momentarily, "We are over and apart, I don't have a problem with it and if he should get out of hand then I'll just leave," She further stated, "He did ask about you when he talked to David the other day," Marlene groaned lowly, "I hope he doesn't think," Grace cut her off, "He doesn't he realizes its over and that he needs to find a new life and who knows maybe he already has," She shrugged. "I know how much your struggling Marlene," Grace grasped her by the shoulders, "I didn't tell you, I got a text from Rebecca Christmas eve, says she doing well and working as hard as ever and she's finally getting back on her feet," Marlene lowered her head, "It will be alright, I know your hurting but it didn't hurt to try and who knows maybe she's not quite ready for a permanent situation," She remarked, Marlene stared, "It doesn't matter, I need to find happiness," She finished speaking picking the rest of her charts up and leaving the room.

"Andre have you located those patterns for the accessory line?" Rebecca quizzed thumbing through the numerous amounts of paperwork on his workstation table, "Right here," He lifted them up in his hand, "Ok your moody, what's wrong?" He asked handing her the patterns, "Eric went to England for Christmas and I haven't heard from him," She placed her chin a top her fist, "Ok I give, what happened?" He sat on the stool next to her, "He found out about Lizette, he seemed to be concerned with my sexuality, I explained to him what had happened but he became standoffish like he was ashamed of me now," Andre sighed, "What do you expect, he obviously likes you a lot, he sends flowers, takes you to dinner," He answered chuckling, Rebecca nudge him with her fist, "Still, I like him, I just wished he had a little more understanding," She rehearsed. "Rebecca you've spent the last several years with a woman in a lesbian relationship, I'm sure he really wasn't expecting to hear that and he's shocked he just needs a little time to think about it, you're the one who doesn't want to rush things become serious," He alluded calmly, "I got a card from Marlene," She mentioned, "Oh yes the one you truly love," She swallowed hard, "I think she's finally happy and has dove into her work and she's making a name for herself," She added with a smile. Andre gazed at her, "She won't be happy until she has you," He spoke sincerely continuing, "And neither will you, I have work to do," He voiced firmly Rebecca was speechless as she watched him walk away.

"Marlene," Mark spoke with a nod as she entered the door to David and Grace's house, "Mark," She slightly grinned, "You look good, how are things?" He kindly asked, "I'm fine and enjoying my job," She curtly answered they mingled amongst the guests, "Marlene, may I speak with you privately?" Mark asked sitting next to her on the sofa, "I don't think it's a good idea Mark, I have nothing else to say and I'm trying desperately hard to stay civil while you're here," She answered bluntly, "I can understand how you feel but I've had time to cool off," He begged, "Alright," They walked out into the sunroom, "Are you cold?" He rubbed the sides of his arms as he shivered, "I'm fine if your cold Mark we will have to go back inside," She voiced, "No, no, I just wanted to apologize for everything that went wrong, I feel its mainly my fault the situation I put you in," He gazed sadly at her, "Mark you aren't to blame for everything, I want you to know I don't feel that way, I should've told you about my past, had I shared with you who I was maybe things would've been different but they aren't and we can't go back," She was honest and upfront, "I just have to know one thing Marlene," He leaned against the wall closing his eyes, "Did you sleep with Rebecca?" She rolled her eyes, "Is this what this is about, really Mark is it?" He opened his eyes, "I just feel I should know and I don't think I'm being unfair to ask, we are not together anymore and I need closure," He spoke rationally, "Very well, yes we did sleep together and I'm sorry, sorry I let it get out of hand but I won't lie, I love her," She reassured him.

Mark ran his fingers through his hair, "I know now that it was in vain me trying to get you back and that moving forward with the annulment was the right thing to do," He shed a tear as he spoke, "It was and I want you to be happy Mark that's what's important, Rebecca made her decision," He turned to face her, "I guess she decided to stay in Germany?" He asked in wonderment, "She did and I have to respect that, I made the decision to return to America and start over in a job I love and that I feel I can grow in," She explained, "I'm not sorry it didn't work out with her, I know it sounds selfish but," He stopped talking not caring to finish his comments, "It doesn't matter what you think about me, her or the situation it won't change the fact that I still love her, Rebecca has been through a lot and she needs the time to find herself and I can't stand in her way," She spoke and then walked back inside finding Grace, "I'm tired, I hope you don't mind but I think I'll call it an early evening," She slipped on her coat. "Mark?" She asked, "Yes and I told him the truth about Rebecca and I, that we had an affair he began to needle me and I just wanted him to leave me alone, I'm sure he's devastated he's out on the sun porch licking his wounds," She surmised, "I'll see you Monday she left Grace and her coworkers saying goodnight. Mark walked back inside finding Grace in the kitchen she became miffed, "I hope your happy," She looked at him sternly, "You knew she was sleeping with her didn't you?" He cocked his brow in anger, "Does it matter what I knew or didn't know?" She asked coldly and with anger, "You could've been a friend," She sat her glass down on the counter, "It wasn't my place, you know better then to even ask me that, sleeping with Rebecca was only a part of why things didn't work out Mark, stop looking through blinders and get a grip, move on she has and so you need to do the same," Grace left the kitchen Mark stood there in irritation of the situation.

"Did you have a happy new years?" Andre strolled by Rebecca, "Yes Tristan and the girls were here and it was a nice visit, I think my niece Bridget will be a fashion designer," She teased, "Hmmm, when can we bring her on?" He asked in a laugh, "Fifteen years, maybe," Rebecca picked back. "I have a load of paperwork to finish," She relayed and continued, "Make sure your collection pressed and put on the rack, I will arrange a photo shoot for next week," She mentioned walking down the stairs she looked up to see Eric standing in the doorway, "Hey, how are you?" She asked walking over to him, "I'm fine, you?" He spoke back but seemed distant to Rebecca, "My office?" He followed her, "I hope you had a merry Christmas and its always good to have time with your family," Her smile caused his heart to race, "Yeah," He sat down she sat across from him, "I apologize if I've caused you to feel uncomfortable with me," He took in a deep breath, "I must admit I was surprised, taken aback," He started, "But I've had some time to think and I really like you Rebecca," She held her breath for a moment, "And I you, we've had fun and I want to see you more," He relaxed himself as he listened to her words, "I know it must be difficult," He stared at her cautiously, "It doesn't have to be Rebecca, I've never met anyone quite like you," He implored he smiled charming her, "Dinner tonight?" He asked hoping she would consent, "Seven?" She quizzed accepting, "I'll pick you then," He walked out Rebecca got up and moved to her desk she grinned thinking of him she opened her sketchpad and began to draw.

"Has Mark left?" Marlene asked walking into the nurses station, "Man you've been scarce the last few days," David answered studying a chart, "I have an interview in a few, new intern," He looked at his wristwatch, "But to answer your question, "Yes he's gone, last night, back to New Haven," He clutched her chin between his index finger and thumb, "Relax," He smiled, "I'll talk to you later," She sighed moving on to her next appointment. Marlene finished her work and sat in the lounge she pulled out her cell phone studying the message Rebecca had sent, "Hey," Grace crept in, "Hey," She turned her phone off and slipped it back into her pocket, "I guess your rereading that message from Rebecca?" She grinned, "You know me all too well," She chuckled, "Have any patients left this afternoon?" Grace inquired, "No I'm finished, "Well David has interviews this evening and I was wondering if we could walk the beach take in dinner, I'm starved for lobster," She laughed, "Sure, let me finish up with these charts and I'll be ready," Grace tapped her shoulder, "Try not to think too hard about Rebecca you'll just drive yourself crazy," She told her leaving out of the lounge Marlene shook her head and reached for her phone again she thought briefly heeding Grace's words she left it in her pocket picking up her charts and heading back to her office.

The weeks had passed, Marlene managed to stay busy diving into her job she entered her office looking over her patient manifest she fumbled around for a chart that seemed to be missing when it dawned on her she must have left it at the nurses station she existed her office walking up to the station, there at the desk was a young woman in a lab coat a stethoscope lay across her shoulders she had shoulder length blonde hair with cheerful green eyes her smile showed perfectly curved lips, "Hello," Marlene approached, "Oh excuse me," She smiled picking up the chart and moving it, "I'm Marlene Wolf," She extended her hand out, "Tracey Connors, Doctor Tracey Connors," She answered, "I see, I'm a physical therapist and I misplace a chart," She picked it up from the counter, "And here it is," She seemed intrigued by the young and pretty Dr. Connors. Marlene nodded her head and began to walk away, "Say, Ms. Wolf, I'm new here care to go for a coffee?" Marlene turned back and looked at her, "I have a couple of appointments this afternoon but this evening if you would like there's a café up the street," Tracey smiled, "Sure about five, I'll meet you upfront," A date was made. Marlene quickly finished with her patients and hurried back to her office she slipped out of her lab coat tossing it to the chair she brushed out her hair, applied, lip gloss and straightened her shirt and rushed to the front door. Tracey waited patiently by the door, "Thank you," She spoke smiling at Marlene, "I know what its like, I too am new here, well since last September," She giggled they strolled to the coffee shop visiting as they did, "Latte please," Marlene ordered, "I'll have the same they found a table and sat down, "You have an accent," Tracey noted, "Yes, I'm from Germany," She stated, "Germany, wow you're along way from home," Marlene nodded sipping her coffee. "I'm from Providence so I'm a native Rhode Islander," Marlene gazed at her but then felt guarded, "So are you married?" Tracey fished trying to make conversation, "No, I'm single," She answered honestly. "You," She quickly asked placing the rim of her mug to her lips, "Uh no, medical school has kept me busy and then my residency, I never really had time to date much or to have a serious relationship," She answered calmly.

Marlene hesitated for a moment, "Well there are many single Doctors here, " She stated looking at how attractive she was her blonde hair flowing perfectly to her shoulders her green eyes mystifying, "I think I should focus on my work, I'm glad Dr. Brandon decided to hire me, this is just the kind of place I was hoping to settle in, small, quaint," She chuckled. "I too had that same feeling, getting away from a bad situation, relationship," She shook her head, "Were you married?" She quizzed, "I was but not for long, he's a Doctor up in New Haven," She voiced, "Oh, I'm sorry," She touched her hand, Marlene could feel the heat exchange through it, "I'm not, I wasn't happy," She squinted her eyes, "I should say I was happy when we dated and right after marriage but he wasn't the person I thought he was, he was controlling and kept me out of things," She took a drink of her coffee, "It's a real shame you didn't find it out before hand, all that you thought you found in someone you loved was lost," Marlene looked at her strangely, "True but I don't want to dwell on it either," Tracey smiled, "It's getting late, I have a busy day tomorrow and I hope I've found a new friend in you," They walked back towards the hospital, "Tracey this evening was great and I had a nice time getting to know you," Tracey grinned, "I did too," They walked into the doors together, "I'll see you tomorrow they parted, Marlene returned to her office collecting her things and leaving for the evening.

Rebecca quickly rolled out of bed, "Hey," Eric reached out for her, "I'm going to be late," She looked at the alarm clock she slipped on her robe and made her way to the shower quickly bathing and stepping out, "Can't you be late?" He asked as she got dressed in the bathroom, "No we have a budget meeting and then we are interviewing for a new accessory designer today," She spoke walking from the bathroom and placing an earring in her ear, "Rebecca," He smiled shaking his head she bent over the bed softly kissing his lips, "Hmmm, sure I can't convince you to stay?" He caressed the side of her arm, "I can't and don't you have work today?" She questioned in a tease, "I do but, I just thought a little time together this morning would be good, we haven't had much of late, I mean with fashion days soon approaching you work all the time," He mildly complained, "And you have a lot of articles to write," She winced he laid his head back on the pillow, "Tonight, I promise," She remarked he sighed, "I'll see you later then," She blew him a kiss from the doorway closing it. Eric lie there thinking he turned over grasping Rebecca's pillow and as he did the card that Marlene had sent fell from the dresser to the floor catching his attention he bent over picking it up the envelope clung to the back of it he hesitated and then from curiosity opened it and read it. Eric had a lump in his throat he didn't understand or know who Marlene was he read the card over and over and then placed it back on the nightstand he was pensive as got up from the bed, showering and leaving for work.

Rebecca raced into the orangery after a long days work she sat on the bed and lifted the card from Marlene off the nightstand and began to read it again she placed it against her chest closing her eyes it was a day that she thought of Marlene a lot. Rebecca was startled from her daze by the fumbling of the door handle she quickly placed it back in the envelope and stuck it in the draw, "Hi," She stood up smiling her heart racing, "How was your day," She asked laying her arms atop his shoulders, "Long," He answered sitting on the sofa, "I have to go to Wolfsburg for two days," He seemed sad about it to her, "Yes they have a small fashion days, Ingrid of Wolfsburg, it's a small fashion house but she's very talented," She answered sitting next to him, "I saw Tristan as I was coming in," He changed the subject, "Yes, I've talked to him he was at LCL earlier, Mrs. Lentz is cooking pot roast tonight so dinner here," He pulled Rebecca close, "Can I ask you something personal?" He questioned his tone low, "Yes what is it?" She swallowed hard looking at him, "Who is Marlene?" Rebecca didn't immediately answer, "Why do you ask?" She finally spoke he slightly shook his head, "I'm sorry but as I was getting out of bed, I knocked a card from the dresser to the floor and I read it," He replied calmly. Rebecca slowly stood up, "Why would you do that? I mean read something that was personal and to me?" She asked in anger, "Rebecca, I'm sorry as I said, I didn't mean to intrude," She stared at him coldly, "I shouldn't even answer you, its ridiculous that you would even think of reading it," He stood up clutching her by the arms, "I know I shouldn't have but I did and I don't want secrets between us," She lowered her shoulders in notable disappointment, "Very well then," She started gazing into his eyes.


	34. Chapter XXXIV

**XXXIV**

 **Reasons**

Eric waited for Rebecca to speak her heart ticked wildly in her throat, "She was the first person I was truly in love with," She responded honestly, Eric removed his grip, "Do you still have feelings for her?" He asked in a daze, "I do, I always have and I always will," She answered with an emotional tone, "I see, then why am I here? With you, in this room, right now," He remained calm as he spoke, "Eric its not that easy, Marlene lives in America where she's happy and has found a career," He rubbed his face in angst, "I can't imagine first there was Lizette, would I have ever known about her had she not stormed out of your office that day?" Rebecca turned around and walked over to the window, "Eventually I would have told you," She remarked not looking back at him, "I care so deeply for you Rebecca but I can't play games," He quietly vented, "Eric, I like you a lot and these last few months have been wonderful, I told you when we met I didn't want anything serious, getting on my feet and gaining my memory back is what's most important, I don't want to argue with you and I'd rather take things slow, I can't handle jealousy or strife, this is not what this is about," She rehearsed firmly. "I can understand, I enjoy being with you too and I don't want unhappiness between us," He walked behind her grasping her his chin rested atop her shoulder, "Dinner will be served soon we should go to the dinning room," She broke away from him he followed.

"Care for a nightcap?" Tristan offered Eric, "Sure," He looked at Rebecca, "Elisabeth and I have quarterlies to go over," She smiled speaking, Tristan and Eric sat in the great room, "Cigar?" Eric accepted, "So how are things with Rebecca?" He began, "Good, we get along great and we have fun doing things together," He answered keeping his uncertainness about her at bay, "My little sister, she's wonderful, beautiful and talented," He versed, "I really care about her Tristan, meeting her has been the best thing that's ever happened to me," He stopped talking, staring at the bourbon in his glass, "I detect there's a problem," He arched his brow as he asked, "I think she has a past she not sure about," He answered, "Well the accident has taken its toll but she's recovering nicely," He played on his words. "Lizette," He started to say, Tristan rolled his eyes, "Lizette was a mistake and not very dedicated to Rebecca, she's a liar and a cheat amongst other things," He looked at Eric sternly as he spoke, "Exactly," Eric agreed, "But if I had not showed up at LCL that day, I may have never known she had been with a woman," Tristan groaned, "Does that bother you?" Eric thought for a moment, "At first I wasn't sure and I think Rebecca struggled with my feelings, she was very forthcoming about her but not so much about the other woman in her life, "Marlene," Tristan chimed lowly, "I confronted her about her and obviously she still has very deep feelings for her," He voiced. "You have no idea," He remarked giving Eric a dose of reality, "Its late and I should find Rebecca," He sat his glass down on the end table.

Elisabeth and Rebecca looked at the last of the quarterlies, "I'm tired and paperwork always makes me tired," She giggled, Elisabeth frowned, "Eric was very quiet tonight, did something happen?" She further inquired, "Eric asked me about Marlene, I should be very angry at him," She looked up at Elisabeth, "Why," She asked, "Because he read that card Marlene sent me, really, I like him a lot but I'm not ready for a serious cuddly relationship with him, I'm mending and I told myself I needed to get my head on straight before I became serious about someone again," She growled, "Do you have those feelings about him?" Rebecca shook her head, "I don't know, I'm not in love with him, he's kind and passionate but I just can't Elisabeth," She answered, "Rebecca you've been sleeping with him, things change when you give yourself to a man or a woman," She sighed in a pout knowing Elisabeth was right, "I know what your saying but I love Marlene," She stated boldly, "Rebecca, you have to ask yourself if Marlene is the right one for you, long distant relationships are difficult at best and you two parted because it was what was best for the both of you, I want you to know I support whatever decisions you make, Eric is here and you have a relationship with him are you really sure that your not in love with him?" Elisabeth knew the answer but asked anyway. "I'm not so now's the time to start thinking about what it is I really want," She replied leaving Elisabeth and returning to the orangery.

Rebecca entered the door, Eric sat on the sofa his hands clasped together, "Hey," Rebecca walked over to him he got up, "I'm going to sleep at the apartment tonight," He winced, "Ok," She replied not shocked by his decision, "Eric you have to do what you think is best, I hate seeing you sad and out of sorts, I won't lie about my feelings, its just not me, you want honesty, I truly love Marlene but she's gone and has decided on a life that makes her happy, like me she's very career minded and enjoys what she does," She stared as she spoke, "I just thought, hell, I shouldn't have thought knowing what you've been through the time you told me it would take for you to heal and I don't want to stand in your way Rebecca but I'm falling in love with you and you need to be sure about what it is you truly want," His face red his voice cracked with emotion. "Don't, I just can't hear those words, I'm not ready for a commitment," He walked towards the door as he listened to her, "We have such a good time and I enjoy the things we do together but I just don't need or want the stress of a serious relationship," She begged to differ. "I should go," He said nothing more he walked out closing the door, Rebecca hung her head and then she walked to the bedroom pulling the card out Marlene had sent her she opened it and read it again her fingers slowly raked across it, "I love you so much," She stared at the card, "No matter what, I love only you," She uttered curling up on the bed and falling into a deep sleep.

Tracey stood at the nurses station studying the daily manifest, "Good morning," Grace spoke, "Hello," She replied, "How are things going?" She began, "Good, I wanted to thank you personally for recommending me for the job," Grace touched her shoulder in assurance, "David seems to think you're a good fit and I have to agree," She chuckled, Marlene walked from out of her office, "Marlene," Tracey looked back to Grace, "What about her," She responded turning her head and looking at her from across the hall, "She seems nice we had coffee the other day," Grace seemed surprised, "She is and she's a good friend," She added, "I like her," She mused pulling her hair back from her face, "So you were wondering if she was with someone?" Grace fished for an answer, "I apologize, I hope I'm not being too forward but when we had coffee I got the sense that she was lonely," She felt intrusive as she asked, "She's divorced, I'm sure she told you," Tracey cleared her throat, "She did but didn't really elaborate that much," She answered "And that should be up to her to tell you," Grace remarked candidly, "I can tell her your interested," She furrowed her brow giving Tracey a positive look. "Is she," She hesitated a second, "Lets just say she doesn't believe in labels and she's available," Grace winked making Tracey feel more at ease, "Now if you'll excuse me, I have work to do," She added, Tracey stood there watching Marlene conversing with a patient she thought of how friendly she was and beautiful. Marlene finished and walked up to Tracey, "Good morning," Tracey whaled in delight, "You must be having a good day, it's, my break time care for a coffee?" She asked, Tracey nodded they made their way down to the cafeteria sitting down, "I enjoyed the little café we went to the other day, I wanted to thank you again for the hospitality," Marlene gazed into her eyes, "No problem, I know how it is, a new place, you really don't know anyone," She stirred the cream into her coffee looking back up at her.

There was a moment of silence between them, "Grace Brandon is a friend of yours?" She finally spoke, "Yes my best friend for years," She chuckled, "I hope you don't mind but I asked her about you," Tracey got the nerve up to tell her, "Oh," Marlene swallowed hard, "I know that when we talked the other night you were single, divorced and I found it a little difficult to read you but," She quickly guzzled a sip of coffee before continuing, "I was wondering if you would care to go out, uh, I mean on a date," She stuttered eyeing her the redness rose up in her cheeks, Marlene smiled and asked seriously, "So you're asking me out on a date?" Tracey lowered her shoulders, "Yes," Marlene pursed her lips, "I accept," Tracey was elated, "Good, I have call Friday night and if your free Saturday maybe we could get a bite to eat, take in a movie," She mentioned in excitement. A date was made they finished their coffee, "I have a patient at eleven," Marlene noted looking at her watch, "And I have a ton of paperwork to get on, I'll see you later she looked around the hall and then grasped Marlene's hand slightly squeezing it she left her Marlene leaned against the wall watching her stroll away. "She seems nice enough," Grace spoke startling Marlene, "You scared me," She frowned, "No I think I embarrassed you," She added in a laugh. "She is nice and we have a date Saturday night," She replied, "Oh, she did ask me about you," Grace picked, "Well we will see how things go," She answered.

Rebecca sat at the table sketching she paused for a moment looking out of the window at the raindrops that fell slowly against the panes she got up and sat on the window's ledge the blooms of early spring began to show, "Rebecca," The door to the orangery slowly opened, Eric stood there with a bouquet of flowers, "Hi," She smiled continuing to look out, "I know your busy," He noticed the pens, pencils and wadded up paper strewn across the table, "I'm working on a collection, actually a new collection for myself," He handed her the flowers she smelled their freshness, "So you've decided to start designing again," He seemed surprised, "Yes, why not, LCL is mine and I should be working along side my designers," She fetched a vase from under the cabinet placing the flowers in it, "I just stopped by to see how you are, Wolfsburg was boring," He chuckled moving closer to the window, "I thought maybe we could talk," He broached the subject, "I'm not sure what we have left to talk about Eric," She crossed her arms lowering her head, "I'm sorry, I never gave thought to the way you might feel and I was selfish when I left here the other night," His blue eyes sullen, "I have a past that isn't settled," She began, "Being with you, dating you is great and there are no ties, I don't want to be smothered either, I need to think for Rebecca," She swallowed hard, "I need to do things for myself and not worry about what others in my life are thinking," He touched her shoulder, "I guess I shouldn't have told you I was falling in love with you," He remarked, "It doesn't matter Eric, I care for you very much but I'm not ready for that kind of commitment," She strongly advised.

Eric sat on the sofa, "I want something more, something more than you are willing to give, I know it sounds unfair and one sided but it's the way I feel Rebecca especially about you, I can't tell you how to think and I don't want to control your life but I'm getting to the age where I'm ready to settle down start a family," She felt tense listening to his words as if what she had said had gone unheeded, "I don't want to discuss this any further, please, I need to finish the work I started while its in my head," She showed him to the door he bent down tenderly touching his lips to hers, "Please think about what I said, take all the time you need, please Rebecca don't rule this out, I love you," She nodded feeling unguarded she closed the door returning to the window and staring out she thought of Marlene their times together the many times they gazed out the window the days they walked the grounds, "I want so much to see you hold you in my arms" She whispered as she wept the tears streaming she thought of Eric his confessions she didn't want to hurt him but it was inevitable things were about to change.

Marlene and Tracey walked out of the movie theater, "That was great," The cool air of spring surrounded them in a steady breeze, "Marlene shivered, "I love old classics," She remarked rubbing the sides of her arms in an attempt to warm up, "Cold?" Tracey asked as they got in the car, "Yes," She started the car getting it warm, "I have some hot chocolate back at my place if you'd like some," She replied, "Sounds great," They drove to a small house along the beach road, "Its cozy here," Marlene stated as they went in to the warmth of the living room, "Such a great view," She noted staring out the large window the lights across the cove shined brightly, "I was lucky I found this place," She put the water on to boil, "Sit down," She offered, Marlene obliged, "Its quaint, I didn't have much time to look for a cottage so I had to take the first apartment I could fine," She responded, "Tracey sat next to her, "The water should be ready in a few minutes," She gazed into Marlene's eyes, "I'm glad you asked me out," Marlene started, "I wasn't sure you would accept, I could have insulted you and embarrassed myself," She giggled, "But you didn't and I'm not the type of person to be insulted, more or less flattered," She answered keenly, "The first day I saw you, I knew I wanted to get to know you, it was if you would be willing," She explained. "Its not that I was looking, I wasn't, I've kept myself busy, my nose to the grindstone," Marlene answered, "I wasn't looking either, school, med school and then my residency was long and hard, late nights early mornings," The whistle on the tea kettle startled them. Tracey fixed them hot chocolate in large mugs brining them back to the sofa.

"Hmmm, this taste good," Marlene mention, "I'm glad you like it," They sipped it without talking, Marlene sat her mug down, "Can I get you something else," She asked, "No thank you I'm just enjoying the company," Tracey sat her mug down moving a little closer to Marlene, "I've wanted to kiss you all evening," She place her hand to the side of Marlene's face softly caressing it, Marlene craned her neck moving her face even with Tracey's they kissed. Marlene slowly pulled back and sighed, "What's wrong," She questioned in angst, "Nothing, I just haven't been kissed like that in a long time and I enjoyed it," Tracey breathed in a sigh of relief, "I guess your husband was a good kisser?" She looked at her not sure of how Marlene would answer, "Yes but not the way my lover kissed me," Tracey appeared amused, "I don't understand," She spoke quietly, "I was with a woman before my husband, a woman I was very much in love with," She replied calmly, Tracey picked her mug back up and took a drink, "I hope you don't mind me asking but what happened?" Marlene sighed, "I was the luckiest person on earth, lucky to be loved by someone who cared and loved me so deeply, all I ever wanted was a home with her a family but she was very career minded and driven she worked all the time and I waited by the door," A tear trickled down her face she looked down briefly before looking back up at her, "We just grew apart and couldn't mend what was broken," Tracey took Marlene in her arms in a comforting gesture, "I'm sorry," She whispered in her ear, "There's no need to be sorry what she and I shared was beautiful and I learned so much from it," They both picked back up their mugs and giggled finishing it.

"Shall I take you home?" Tracey asked noticing Marlene looked tired, "Yes, I should get back to the apartment, maybe you could come in for a nightcap," She voiced as slipped her sweater back on. "I think I would like that," She locked the door behind her driving Marlene back to her apartment, "Scotch?" She offered pouring herself one, "Sure," They took a seat, Marlene attempted to kiss Tracey she looked away, "What's wrong?" She felt a twinge of embarrassment race through her, "Nothing, I think you are thinking about the woman you were with and she's still in your heart, kissing me brings back memories of her, she has a name?" She looked at her seriously, "Rebecca," She wasted no time answering. "Rebecca from Germany?" She further quizzed, "Yes," She worded feeling uncomfortable, Tracey took a hard swig of her scotch it burned her throat going down, "I should go Marlene, I think you have a lot on your mind and I feel this Rebecca is who your mind is on I like you and I want to see you but I think you need to clear your conscience about her first," She stood up sitting her glass on the table in the kitchen, "I'll see you next week," She smiled leaving the apartment, Marlene furrowed her brow as the door closed.


	35. Chapter 35

**CHAPTER XXXV**

 **A change in the wind**

"Morning," Tristan groaned, "Late night?" Elisabeth asked as Justus served breakfast, "Too much to drink at the Banker's spring gala, Ann didn't even move this morning," He stated opening his napkin and placing it across his lap, "Rebecca," Elisabeth chimed, "Good morning everyone," She sat down, "Elisabeth tells me you've about completed a new collection," He sipped his coffee talking, "Yes and this evening I will present it to all of LCL," Elisabeth smiled widely, "I'm glad to see you are back in action and feeling much better," She remarked they finished breakfast, "It's a beautiful morning, care for a walk?" Rebecca asked Tristan he could tell she wanted to talk, "Ok out with it," He barked as they strolled down the path along the rose garden, "You know I'm doing much better," He looked down to her leg, "Keeping up with those exercises I see," He grinned she nudged him with her fist, "You are walking better," He mentioned, "Yes I've even jogged some this spring," She placed her hands in the pockets of her jacket, "How's Eric?" He questioned she shrugged her shoulders, "Want's to have a serious relationship," She smirked, "And I assume you aren't interested," He looked to her for an answer, "I like him but I'm not in love with him, its been iffy at best lately, I'm not the settling kind at least not with him," Tristan sighed deeply, "Marlene?" He eyed her asking, "I love her Tristan and I need to see if she feels the same way still, I've hurt her worse than before, I've rejected her to the point that I doubt she'll have me back," She whimpered.

Tristan embrace her, "You have to try and I think you'll have to be prepared, it won't be easy but I know she loves you, you just have to be convincing," He implored, "I don't want to hurt Eric, this has been on my mind for awhile now, how to let him down," She remarked sternly, "Unfortunately you will hurt him he told me awhile back that he had some really deep feelings for you, I've got to tell you Rebecca he was concerned about your past," She lowered her head, "I know, I think he's pressured me because he didn't want to lose me," She answered, "Marlene has been your greatest love and now that you remember things, Lizette would have lost you to her had things not turned out the way they did," He responded confidently. "Have you told Elisabeth yet?" He asked further, "When I'm through with you, I will sit down with her and tell her," Tristan chuckled, "I'm proud of you, to walk away from LCL, home to find the person you're suppose to live the rest of your life with, challenging yes but an accomplishment well worth it, I know you don't want to hurt Eric and if you need me," She embraced her brother, "Thank you Tristan, thank you for standing by me and realizing that this is what I want to do, I love Marlene so much and she's the person I want to spend my life with," He clutched her cheek with his fingers, "My little sister," He shook his head continuing, "Go talk to Elisabeth, you have a lot of planning to do," She smiled leaving him in the rose garden.

Rebecca stood in the doorway of the study watching Elisabeth perusing the banking reports Tristan had left for her, "Oh, Rebecca, please come in," She walked up to the desk and sat down, "Are you ready for the unveiling this evening?" She looked at her over her reading glasses, "I am, my last collection I think," She slightly smiled, Elisabeth removed her eyeglasses, "Is there something you wanted to talk to me about?" Rebecca crossed her legs and rested her hands on top her knee, "Yes, I wanted to tell you something," She briefly stared, "Are you alright?" Rebecca smiled Elisabeth closed the ledger she was viewing, "Go on Rebecca," She kindly spoke, "I've made a decision," She began, "I've decided to seek out Marlene and see if she will give me a second chance," Her words firm as Elisabeth listened, "I see and Eric?" Rebecca grimaced, "I will tell him after the unveiling," Elisabeth nodded, "I must say I'm surprised but not disappointed, it will be difficult for Eric," Rebecca mildly groaned, "Eric is a wonderful man who deserves someone who will give unconditional love, he wants to settle down," Elisabeth interjected, "Has he asked you marry?" Rebecca seemed surprised, "No he hasn't but he's made his feelings known," Elisabeth got up from the desk and sat next to her, "Does Marlene know?" She shook her head, "She doesn't but I have to try, I love her Elisabeth and I know that in order to be with her and if she'll have me that I will have to make sacrifices," She added, "Will you give up LCL? Things are going so well, I just reviewed the bank books and I'm pleased with the financial outcome of the fashion show," She responded, "LCL will manage without me just as it did when I wasn't able to work, I could work and design from home," She insisted with a grin of confidence.

Elisabeth thought about what she was saying, "I only want you to be happy Rebecca, that's all any one of us have wanted for you, your father knew how much it meant for you to be happy, his little girl he loved you, you know," Elisabeth reminisced, "I know he did and I know he knew the only way I'd ever be happy is to be with Marlene," She pled her case, "I can arrange to travel back and forth if need be Elisabeth, if I'm going to win Marlene back then I will have to give more of myself then just a little and it will mostly likely be on her terms and conditions," She was somber as she spoke, "That's understandable, LCL has been prosperous since you've taken it over, I can't complain but its time to live for Rebecca, we will work it out and we will manage, Andre is doing a fantastic job as your head designer and he's found his niche, you should go and talk to him before the unveiling so that arrangements can be made," She stood up her eyes watery, "Thank you Elisabeth," Rebecca headed back to the orangery, dressed and then made her way to LCL. "Hey Rebecca," Andre called out he had a load of sketchpads in his hands, "My office," She ordered with a point of her finger, "Ok," He sat the sketchpads down on her desk, "Some new ideas," He motioned, "Are you happy here?" Rebecca questioned, "I mean as head designer?" She further added, "I am why Rebecca? Is everything ok?" He became worried, "Its time to make some changes in my life," She hesitated briefly, Andre listened with a keen ear, "Its about Marlene," He cut in, "The one you and I talked about awhile back?" She nodded, "I need to see if there's another chance, that we can reproach," Andre groaned, "Eric won't take it well," He furrowed his brow, "I'm not in love with Eric," She made herself clear, "It doesn't change the fact he won't take it well and what about this unveiling?" He asked firmly.

"Yes, my last formal collection," She answered quietly, "Will you be happy, if you go stateside and live? Will you be able to design?" He proposed many questions to her. "I have to try," She remarked, "I'll be happy to do whatever it takes to make LCL run efficiently," His smiled eased her, "Thank you Andre, I knew I could count on you, after the unveiling we will need to get down to brass tacks," They both laughed, "This is the happiest I've seen you in a long time Rebecca and I'm elated for you to find and love someone you know you'll make sacrifices for is, well, it is what it is," He mildly joked. "I've known all along she was the one and I discovered it when I began to regain my memory, Lizette was going to be an after thought, I wanted to search Marlene out and as fate would have it she came back to me as my physical therapist," She mused, "Yeah I heard," Rebecca groaned, "I chose not to make it known outside my family, it was a touchy situation at first she was married and her husband my Doctor," She sighed shaking her head, "Something must have happened," He voiced looking at her, "We had an affair and she confirmed she was still in love with me, I fought it at first but then I realized that I needed to work out things in my life before I could make a decision about what I really wanted," She replied, "But then there was Eric," Andre appeared confused as he brought up his name, "Marlene wanted me to go to New Port with her, she had decided to accept a job there, she didn't want to stay in Germany, I couldn't, I needed to find what I had lost and I explained it to her but she was adamant that she needed the change we parted, it was hurtful but I had to stay strong, I couldn't force her to stay and be unhappy, she had been through so much and this was a real chance for her to shine in her career," She firmly remarked, "I see, so when she left you thought things might be over and you started seeing Eric," Rebecca nodded they finished get things ready to unveil her newest collection.

Elisabeth and Rebecca sat in the front row as the models began to walk down the catwalk and onto the stage, photographers flashed photos and reporters talked amongst themselves as the unveiling ended, "Well another great collection, Ms. Von Lahnstein," Mr. Flock began interviewing her, Eric stood off to the side remaining quiet Rebecca spoke finishing her interviews as she eyed Eric she walked in her office and began putting her things away he knocked lightly, "Come in," Eric entered, "Looks like you've cornered the market again," She grinned at him her heart sad as she tried to keep her composure, "I did and I think for LCL it will be a success," He moved closer to her, "I've missed you," He touched her cheek with his thumb," She moaned, "I wanted to ask you something," He reached into his jacket pocket pulling out an engagement ring and getting down on one knee, Rebecca was shocked, "Would you do me the honor of becoming my wife?" He questioned his eyes pierced hers she was speechless, "Please Rebecca," His voice graveled as he spoke, "I'm flattered and honored Eric," She hesitated, "But I can't," He quickly got up off his knee, "Why not we are so good together Rebecca, you have to admit it," He pleaded, "Its not that Eric and yes I care very much for you but its not meant to be," She insisted, "Rebecca I love you, its you I want to spend my life with," She took him by the hand they sat down across from one another, "There's a blue eyed blonde who is waiting for me Eric, she's my whole world and the woman I'm in love with and I've known it all along from the first moment we kissed, its her I can't get off my mind and she makes my heart flutter my stomach churn," He quickly interrupted her, "Marlene?" She shook her head positively, "But she's gone and she has a life away from you, her choice Rebecca, you would give up designing? LCL? You aren't being rational," He implored loudly.

"I know it hurts you Eric and I never meant that, you have to believe me," She begged, "I love you, I wish you would think before you act, you could be hurt, devastated by decisions you have no control over, does she know how you feel?" He questioned with emotion she could hardly speak, "Rebecca does she know?" He clutched her by the arms, "No she doesn't," She finally answered. "So your basically setting yourself up for failure, you should listen to reason," He goaded, "Did you want me to lie? Tell you everything in my life was perfect? You knew my past was unsettled and I had things that plagued me, I told you we had no ties and as painful as it is Eric I had to be totally honest with you, I can't sugarcoat it, I will never love you the way you love me," A tear fell from her eye as she gazed at the pensiveness in his expression, "And I will never love you the way I love her, no things aren't simple, who said they would be?" She commanded, "I just thought," He swallowed hard as he stopped talking, "You knew that when we met I just was looking for companionship, fun," She lowered her head, "So this whole time, I was nothing but a good time and you just used me?" His question angered. "Eric be rational, I do care about you how many times do I have to say how I feel? I'll never forget you and you are a very important part of my life, you've helped me greatly to get back on my feet and," He groaned interjecting, "I feel your not really being honest with yourself and this is some kind of farce, bullshit if you will, we didn't sleep together because you wanted companionship, we did because we shared the same feelings about one another and your being stubborn and contrite," He expressed loudly.

"Eric, I'm sorry but its late and I have work to finish, could you please excuse yourself," He sighed deeply walking to the door and opening it he looked back at her, "This isn't over Rebecca," He closed the door leaving her to feel on edge, Tristan walked in, "Hey, I take things didn't go well," She moved quickly to him and embraced him, "No he's angry and upset and he tried to make me change my mind," She stuttered, "Of course he tried to make you change your mind," Tristan teased in an effort to relax her, "I don't feel the same way he does, my god how many times must I say it, I felt bad but bitter at his cutting comments," She argued mildly. "He's a man and now he's hurt and he feels you should be ashamed," He remarked coldly, "Like you did?" She crossed her arms and gave him a cold stare, "I guess you could say that," He honestly answered, "Come on Tristan we've been past that for years," He grasped the top of her shoulders, "We have and I know that you and Marlene share the kind of love that nothing or no one could break, I'm on your side, I just want you to find happiness," He embraced her again, "Come let me take you home," He pulled her jacket from the coat rack and placed it across her shoulders, "My purse," She grabbed it turning out the lights and closing the door to her office they left for home.

Marlene sat in her office jotting notes down, Grace rapped on her door and entered, "Oh your back and how was New York?" She sat down in front of her desk, "Like any seminar, boring!" She exclaimed and then continued, "I didn't get a chance to talk to you before we left, how did it go with Tracey?" She seemed excited to hear any good news Marlene dropped her pencil down to the paperwork she was going over and frowned, "Not as well as I thought," She hesitated, "Oh, I'm sorry, I thought she really was interested," She voiced sadly, "It's not that, its me, we went out and it was a fun evening, I went back to her place and we had a serious talk, mostly about my past and she thinks I need to clear my mind about Rebecca, that she's interested but doesn't want a relationship that's clouded by uncertainties," Grace moaned, "I thought your break with Rebecca was clean when you left and after you talked at Christmas, Rebecca is still in the picture?" She searched for an answer from Marlene, "We are over, I haven't heard another word from her and I haven't exactly tried either, I want to move on and I like Tracey a lot but I can imagine how she feels, Rebecca is my past now its obvious to me but there must be lingering doubts," She attempted a smile as she told Grace, "Maybe you should try to talk to Rebecca again, there still might be a connection," She spoke sensibly, "I don't think that's a good idea Grace, I mean I tried and all I got was a text saying she was fine and hoped my life was going good," She groaned planting her cheek atop her fist. "I feel you still love her very much," She remarked, "I do, I love her and if she walked through that door," She sighed loudly, "But she won't come back to me and I have to deal with it," She answered in continuance. Grace felt badly for Marlene the turmoil she had been through and the uncertainty of a future with someone, "I know you won't give up and there is someone special for you," Marlene looked at her, "I should focus on career and not a personal relationship right now," She became adamant.


	36. Chapter 36

**CHAPTER XXXVI**

 **Wishes and Promises**

"Are you about packed?" Elisabeth asked Rebecca as she bounded into the dinning room, "I am," She poured her a cup of hot tea, "Everything at LCL is done and arrangements made?" She concluded, "Elisabeth," She retorted they both giggled, "I thought I should text Grace, I haven't booked a flight just packed the things I really want to take," She mused, "I think it's a good idea to prepare Grace for the fact you are coming and hopefully for more that just a visit," She surmised. "I don't think it will be easy, winning Marlene back, I'm certain she feels I've abandoned her or any chance for a reconciliation," Elisabeth smiled, "Don't be so hard on yourself Rebecca, remember you can always come home," She took her hand and rubbed it, "Thank you and I will," She reassured her, "I dream of long walks with Marlene along the beach, eating lobster, shopping in New York," She confided, Elisabeth appeared happy but in her mind knew things wouldn't be easy, "So you haven't decided which day to leave?" Rebecca pursed her lips, "Tristan will be here tomorrow and I want to spend a little time with him," She voiced lowering her head, "He's been your greatest support," She smiled, "And he's supportive of this move and he realizes that I could never be happy with anyone but Marlene," Rebecca's tone was upbeat. Elisabeth sipped her tea, "Have you talked to Eric?" She asked in concern, "I didn't tell you he ask me to marry him after the unveiling," Elisabeth sighed setting her cup down, "I assume when you didn't accept you told him the truth?" She asked quietly.

"I care very much for Eric but I don't love him, marrying him just to satisfy his itch was never my intention, yes I told him the truth and he wasn't totally surprised but he thinks I'll be disappointed and hurt," She remarked. "I'm sorry for him he's been good to you and a nice young man," She spoke truthfully, "I think he has it in his mind that if Marlene doesn't take me back I'll come running back to him, ready to start a home and family," Elisabeth snickered, "I apologize," She further covered her mouth, "And I just can't see it," She finally spoke in a tease. Rebecca laughed, "You've been my best friend through all of this, even when my days were darkened by uncertainty you were there and I can't thank you enough Elisabeth, LCL is now in great shape our designers are competent and trustworthy, Andre has reassured me he won't allow anyone to drop the ball and I feel good, good about exploring a new world," She rehearsed, "Rebecca since you've taken LCL over its been moving in a positive direction and now that there's no anarchy things have worked out for the best and I'll be able to control and run a smooth operation," Rebecca bit into her omelet, "Hmmm," She sat her fork down, "After all I have to admire Tanya's decision to leave, focus on Hannes and Emma," Elisabeth chuckled, "Its made quite a difference in our lives," She spoke in a naughty tone they finished breakfast, "I've got a meeting with staff this morning and I'll be clarifying the final draft for the summer collections," She told Elisabeth as she walked out of the dinning room.

"Good morning," Marlene barked in a cool tone as she stood behind Tracey, "Hey, how are you?" She smiled, "I'm good, I was hoping we could have coffee," She looked at her watch before looking back at Tracey, "Sure, what time?" She asked, "An hour, cafeteria?" She pursed her lips, "I'll meet you there," Marlene left her to attend to her patients, Grace met her down the hall, "I see you were talking to Tracey," Marlene rolled her eyes, "Yes, I invited her for coffee on our break," She mumbled, "Oh, going to ask her out again?" She picked, "I thought we might take it slow this time, I like her and," Grace raised her hand, "And your lonely," She was honest in her tone of voice, "Grace, I'm not ready for anything serious, really, I haven't even been separated from Mark that long," She filled the air with concern in her voice, "Surely you're not using Mark as an excuse, that was over before it even started you said so yourself," She crossed her arms in a stare. "I've managed to wreck my life," She felt sorry for herself, "David is even a little worried about you, why don't you invite Tracey over this weekend, David and I are having a clam bake, the weekend is suppose to be beautiful some of the staff will be attending," She uttered, "That sounds like a good idea," She smiled feeling at ease, "I'll see you later and give you the details," She grinned. Grace walked back to her office when her text chimed she fetched it from the pocket of her lab coat and to her surprise it was a message from Rebecca, she quickly text her back they conversed her arrival would be a surprise to Marlene. "I'll book you a room at the Shoreview Inn, this will com shock to Marlene but I have to ask, are you sure Rebecca?" She sent the message her heart beating wildly, "I've never been more sure Grace," She resounded in her message, I" don't want her to know so yes this will be a surprise, I'll arrive in a couple of weeks," arrangements were made.

"I'm glad you could meet me for coffee," Marlene sat next to Tracey, "Me too, I thought a lot about our talk over the last few days and I think I was unfair and too quick to judge," Marlene felt elated as she listened to Tracey talk, "I'm glad, I didn't want to get off on the wrong foot but I enjoy your company and yes I have a past that's still hurting," She reminded her, "I shouldn't have judged the way you feel and I know right now you lone for companionship," She answered realistically. "That's all I'm asking for and who knows what mine or your future holds," She sweetly answered, "I'm glad we've gotten past this Marlene, I would like to see you more, that is if your willing," She finished her coffee, "Grace and David are having a clam bake out at their place and I was wondering if you would like to join me?" Tracey nodded her head, "Grace had mentioned something about it, I'd love to," She grinned, Marlene grasped her hand, "Thank you, I'll find out a time from Grace and let you know," She cheerfully left the table, Tracey watched her walk away she was beginning to have feelings for Marlene. "Did you and Tracey talk," Grace met Marlene outside the doors of the cafeteria, "I did and she'll be joining me at your clam bake, that is as soon as we have a time," She giggled and seemed happy to Grace, "What's wrong Grace?" Marlene quizzed, "Nothing, nothing, I'm perfectly fine," She remarked but felt uncomfortable regarding Rebecca. "So do you have a time?" She eagerly questioned, "Five and bring a bottle of wine," She attempted a smile.

Marlene walked up to the porch of Tracey's cottage and was about to knock when she opened the door, "Come in," She pulled her by the hand, "I know I'm a little early," She started to speak, Tracey placed her lips to Marlene's in a deep kiss, "Hmmm," Marlene groaned, "Like that?" She whispered, "I did," They kissed again, Marlene locked her arms around Tracey's waist, "We don't want to be late," She broke away from her, "I'll get my jacket, a walk along the beach later would be nice," She teased Marlene swiping her index finger across her cheek they left for Grace and David's. Marlene and Tracey walked up the sandy path to the back of the cottage sitting their belongings on the picnic table and meeting everyone down on the beach, "Marlene, Tracey," Grace met them, David had a large bonfire going, coworkers mingled on blankets draped across the sand, "Let me fix you some wine," Grace walked back up to the house and poured them a glass, Marlene met her on the path, "Thank you," She took the glasses from her, "Marlene," Grace spoke quietly, "I know you like Tracey but," She stopped talking, Marlene looked at her strangely, "Is something wrong?" She asked in a wince, "No, she's wonderful and beautiful, I just don't think you are really over Rebecca," She answered with a tremble in her voice, "Grace, Rebecca chose her fate, I didn't, I'm here she's there and she didn't want to follow me," She answered turning and walking back down to the beach leaving Grace to wonder what will happen when they meet again.

Marlene laid back on the blanket closing her eyes and listening to the interesting conversations the people were having the sounds of the waves along the shore tapped a rhythm to the popping and crackling of the fire, "Care for a walk?" Tracey pulled Marlene's hair away from her face she gazed into the stillness of her blue eyes, "Sure," Tracey helped her up, "It's chilly tonight," Marlene muttered, "I think I'd like to be sitting by a cozy fire indoors that is," Tracey giggled they walked hand and hand, "I'm stuffed from those clams," She added, Marlene grinned as they stopped to watch the waves lapping the shore, "Kiss me again," Marlene begged with a twitch in her lip Tracey obliged tongues locked together in a feverish kiss the touch of hands caressing the sides of each others faces caused a sexual stir in them both, "We should get back," Marlene slowly pulled away, "Yeah before people get suspicious," They both had a good laugh, "I really don't care what people think," Marlene began, "I never cared for labels much, you are who you are and being married and not sharing that honesty with that person," She hung her head and stopped speaking briefly, "I should have been honest with my husband about my past and the way I really felt," She gave Tracey a quick eye and then frowned, "I'm sorry, I didn't think, me dumping my past problems on you," She silenced her, "Its ok, how else will I get to know you if we don't share things we feel are important to us," She calmed the buzz in Marlene, "You're right Tracey, I feel it releases me when I can talk openly with someone," She murmured, "I too have a past, I've always been gay there was never a bend in my road, it was hard for me, my parents weren't very receptive, my three sisters tried to be supportive, they were older, me the baby, they had their personal lives, no matter how messed up they were," She chuckled sarcastically, "Did your parents ever come to grips?" Marlene probed, "Not really, I mean if I dated they were polite and friendly, thank god I was smart and skillful and worked my way through school and yes they are proud of me and love me but I just haven't brought the right girl home yet," She snickered they clutched hands together and walked back up to the bonfire.

Marlene pulled up to the front of Tracey's cottage, "Care for some cocoa?" Marlene stared, "Sure," She parked the car they went inside, "It was a nice evening," Tracey spoke pulling the mugs from the cabinet, "Grace and David certainly know how to show a good time," Marlene remarked resting herself in the warm cushions of the sofa. Tracey brought the mugs of cocoa and curled up next to her, "I enjoyed the walk, it was enlightening and any time you want to talk," She said, Marlene sat her mug down and placed her hand behind her neck, "I don't want to talk," She bent forward and kissed her again their lips parted they stared at one another their faces close together, Tracey's finger traced the bridge of Marlene's nose, "You are beautiful and kind," She expressed Marlene kissed her again. "I want you," She groaned, Tracey stood up and led Marlene to her bedroom, "Are you sure?" Marlene asked as Tracey unbuttoned her shirt, "I'm sure," She whispered in her ear they made love throughout the night. Marlene was aroused by the smell of coffee and fried eggs, Tracey opened the door with her foot and brought the tray of breakfast to the bed Marlene set up rustling her hair, "Coffee," She yawned, "You were sleeping so peacefully earlier, I hated to wake you," She replied, "What time is it," She looked around the room for a clock, "Ten thirty," Tracey answered sipping her coffee they shared the plate of eggs and toast," Marlene laid back closing her eyes and stretching, "I should dress, head back to the apartment for a shower," She winced, "Ok, can I see you later?" Tracey fished, "Sure, why don't we go for lobster tonight have a quiet dinner," She responded happily, "Alright, why don't I pick you up around six," Tracey offered they made plans Marlene kissed her gently and then dressed to head back home.

Rebecca straightened up the orangery placing things in boxes for storage there was a knock at the door, "Come in," She looked up, "Tristan," She embraced him, "Looks like your near ready to leave," She smiled, "Couple of weeks," She mentioned taping up the box she had just closed, "Does Marlene know?" He asked, "No. I want to surprise her, I've spoken to her friend Grace and she's aware," She answered they sat to the sofa, "What will you do if she rejects you?" He asked in a realistic tone, "Fight for her and this time I won't give up," She was adamant in her tone of voice, "I guess this means that if she's seeing someone," She quickly interjected, "I'm prepared if she is, I won't lie it will make things difficult but as I said before I will fight for her, I don't want to be apart any longer then I have to, I know she loves me Tristan, I just have to convince her that this time I'm for real, no games," She seemed positive to him, "And what about LCL?" She sighed, "My collection was a hit and Andre will help Elisabeth run things, I will work from home, that is if Marlene will have me, I'm sure I'll have to make sacrifices in order for us to be together," Tristan mildly grunted, "It's a big risk Rebecca and you know how you are about work, now that your back on your feet and things are going well, I'm not sure you can stay put," She grumbled, "I'm in love its that simple and its taken me all this time to realize that she's the one I would give up everything for no more uncertainties," She clarified, "Have you heard from Eric? He's been a big part of your life the last few months," He questioned his look stern, "Not since the break up," She shook her head, "I don't even want to call it a break up since it wasn't serious for me as it was for him but I hurt him badly and I should've stopped things before they got out of hand," She felt pity for him.

"Rebecca you're being a little hard on yourself, it just happened, I've known all along that it could never really be with him, Lizette comes to mind," He felt a sickness in his stomach as he spoke her name, "You could have easily taken her back, you did love her once and the break up with her wasn't that long ago, Eric was a beacon in the night you had companionship, things were good," Rebecca groaned loudly, "Lizette is out of the picture and was before I even had the accident, I knew I wanted to search for Marlene but the way things turned out, I had to reconnect to what I had lost and Marlene needed to set roots in her career, there was too much turmoil here she didn't want to fall in to the same rut Tristan and I didn't want it, not for things to go back to how they were, I want a fresh start with her and I'm willing to make it happen as I said before I just want a second chance and I have to be convincing and it will have to be on her terms," Tristan stood up from the sofa, "You know how Marlene is, tough and positive in what she wants, she won't be an easy catch, you'll have your work cut out for you," He grinned impishly, "Enough talk, help me with these boxes will you," Tristan helped her to tape up the boxes placing them in the emptied closet for storage.

"Busy day?" Grace sauntered up to Marlene, "I have two new cases I'm doing a work up on, why?" Grace stared mildly, "Just curious," Marlene smiled, "Its just I haven't seen you as much of late and I was wondering," Marlene cut her off, "I'm sorry the last week has been spent with Tracey," Grace perked up, "I guess she's decided your past wasn't worrisome after all?" She probed in a polite manner, "I guess, we are really attracted to one another and," Grace stopped her, "You've been sleeping with her," Marlene lowered her shoulders, "Yes Grace its what two people do when there's a fire between them, I'm enjoying our time together, she makes me laugh and feel comfortable," Grace swallowed hard, "Do you feel about her like the way you felt about Rebecca?" Marlene looked at her strangely, "Rebecca and I are over, I need this, I need to move on and I have, I don't want to think about Rebecca, I want to look forward to a new relationship and my career, its budding now and Tracey's a positive thinker, supportive I might add," Grace lowered her head, "Why did you bring Rebecca up?" She crossed her arms and insisted on an answer.


	37. Chapter 37

**CHAPTER XXXVII**

 **You belong to me**

Rebecca dressed casually in anticipation of a long flight to New York City her first stop along her journey to New Port, Rhode Island, "Rebecca," Elisabeth entered the orangery she could see the sadness in her face, "Don't cry Elisabeth," She quickly embraced her, "I'm just excited for you and my fingers are crossed, will you be joining us for breakfast this morning?" She asked hoping she had a few moments to spare, "Yes in a bit, I have to go back through everything first and I'll be down," She answered thumbing through her passport to make sure everything was in order, "I only wish you the best but I know that you understand it won't be easy, Marlene's been hurt by you and maybe she feels you've rejected her," Rebecca groaned, "I've thought about it a lot and yes again I've managed to screw things up," She slapped her hands to her side but I have to try Elisabeth, I love her way too much not to attempt a reconciliation, whether she knows it or not I will fight for what is rightfully mine," Elisabeth arched her brow, "That's a full suit of armor you have on," She noted not under estimating Rebecca's determination, Rebecca chuckled, "It does make a fashion statement," She joked accordingly, "I'll see you at breakfast, Tristan will be driving you to the airport?" She asked, "Yes, I know he had an early meeting at the bank, I just hope that doesn't delay him any," She mentioned Elisabeth quietly left Rebecca to finish the last of her personal business.

Rebecca combed out her hair and straightened her shirt as she readied herself for breakfast there was a light rap at the door she opened it, "Eric!" She exclaimed mildly, "I hope you don't mind, I saw Elisabeth and she told me you were here," She let him in he looked around the room noticing suitcases sitting next to the door and that most of Rebecca's effects were missing, "I guess your really doing this, I mean leaving," He worded sadly, "I am," She motioned for him to join her on the sofa, "I didn't want to leave with strife Eric, I wanted you to know what you meant to me," She answered calmly, "If I meant anything to you then you would stay and," He became chocked up fighting back the tears. "I can't, I always knew I would want to try and rekindle my life with Marlene," Eric touched her face with his hand, "Please reconsider, I could make you happy, take care of you, I love you Rebecca and I know if you searched your heart you would realize that you feel the same as I do," She looked at him with a feeling of discomfort, "I'm in love with Marlene Eric," She was extremely upfront and honest, "Then I guess your really going to go," His tone melancholy, "This is the right move for me, I know you don't want to hear it but, I love her and I want to spend my life with her," He moaned, "And what if she doesn't accept you have you even given that a thought?" His questioning stern, "It doesn't matter and I'm not about to give up on her no matter what she's worth the fight, you have no idea about our history," She voiced, "That's just it, its a history," He argued running his fingers through his hair.

"Marlene is my greatest love Eric," Rebecca became heated, "Please go, just go, I can't seem to make you understand and I'm not about to argue any further with you, you must accept that its over, I'm not in love with you," She remarked walking to the door he stood up from the sofa and stepped towards the door, "I'll be here waiting for you to return," He pointed his finger at her, "You'll be back because you will never be happy away from your home or your job, your stubborn and you're dedicated to what you do, your going to give up designing for some novel idea you have?" He pleaded his hand grasped the door she couldn't shut him out, "Leave Eric, I don't want to discuss this anymore, you'll find someone, I promise you will, you're a likeable guy but your not right for me," She proclaimed, "You'll never be right for me," She hung her head as she said those words they were stabbing to him, "Please don't leave," He begged again, "Goodbye Eric," She stood in the hallway as she watched him leave the castle she made her way to the dinning room, "Thought maybe you changed your mind," Elisabeth chirped, "Eric and his pitiful self," She responded, "I guess I shouldn't have told him you were in the orangery," She quietly added, "It wouldn't have mattered he would've showed up anyway, begging like a child and it hasn't really heard me Elisabeth he thinks I'll come crawling back to him if things don't work out with Marlene," She furrowed her brown resting her chin on her fist, "He'll get by and once you and Marlene make it official then he will understand," She advised grasping her by the hand, "Now eat, you don't want to be hungry," She smiled they ate breakfast.

Tristan helped Rebecca with her baggage at the outdoor terminal, "I'll miss my little sister," His eyes began to water, "Are you crying," She teased he wiped his eyes. "Not really, I'm just thankful your well and can move on with your life, finding your true love again, wow," He chuckled, Rebecca handed her ticket to the steward, "I'll miss you," She touched the side of his face he grabbed her hand and he kissed it closing his eyes, "I never thought I'd see the day you would leave again, leave LCL but I understand you love Marlene," He embraced her, "I love you my big brother and I'll always be grateful for all you've done for me," She had a tear trickle down her cheek they laughed parting as she walked into the terminal to start what she hoped would be a new life with the woman she loved. Rebecca went through the checkout finding her gate and texting Grace, "I'm about to board, I'll text you tomorrow first thing and thank you for all your help," She sent it and placed the phone in her jacket pocket she closed her eyes dreaming of a chance encounter with Marlene.

"Are you awake?" Tracey rolled Marlene over kissing her, "I am now," She giggle throwing her arms around her neck and drawing her closer to her, "Tonight was wonderful," She remarked, "Hmmm," Tracey mumbled, "Hmmm you say," She began to tickle her they tussled in the bed making love again, "I haven't had this much fun in awhile, thank you Tracey," She became serious, "There's no need to thank me, I've enjoyed just being with you, your companionship has been a godsend to me, really," She smiled kissing her, Tracey became silent momentarily, Marlene could hear her breathing, "What are you thinking?" She whispered, "Nothing much, work tomorrow," She smirked, "Yes, you're right and I should go back to my apartment shower and get ready for bed, I have quite a patient load tomorrow," She winced climbing from under the covers and started to dress, "Sure you don't want to stay the night?" Marlene sighed, "I wish I could but like you, I have a busy day ahead she bent back over the bed, "But we could have lunch tomorrow," She quickly kissed her, Tracey slipped on her robe tying the sash, "I'll see you tomorrow," They kissed at the door Tracey saw her out.

"Room twenty six," Rebecca text Grace, "Meet you in a bit," She text her back, Rebecca began to unpack her suitcase hanging clothes up in the small closet she placed her under garments in the top drawer and arranged her other things neatly she pulled out a sketchpad and curled up on the bed in anticipation of Grace's arrival she started an outline of Marlene's face thinking of her she nearly lost her composure when a rap came to the door, "Grace," She quickly opened it. Grace entered the room they embraced, "Its so good to see you," She slipped her jacket off and sat down, "Long trip, I bet your tired," She commented, "I am," She answered, "You look great and your using that leg fully I see," She made Rebecca feel welcomed and at ease. "I've done as I was told and I exercise it rigorously daily, walking has really helped a great deal," She briefly hesitated, "How are you, Marlene?" She probed with a friendly stare, "Great, we've been busy since the opening of the new hospital, Marlene is amazing she's very gifted you know," She clasped her hands together tightly, "I miss her Grace, I tried desperately to move on after she left, I wanted this for her, I've been so selfish in the past and she needed this without any interference from me," She admonished, Grace sighed, "We've talked indebt about you she was torn not having a career or working in a job she was over qualified for she told me it was the beginning of the end of your relationship that it caused you two to grow apart," She rehearsed, "Honestly," Rebecca stood up continuing to speak, "I let my family rule my decisions, we were in a financial pinch and when things started to go south, I kept it from her, I treated her as if she were an outsider, my family, especially my brothers didn't want me to say a word to her, it hurt and she could tell something was wrong," Rebecca grumbled.

"Well that was a long time ago and obviously you've pulled the fashion business through," She added in kindness, "I have and I worked long hours, my fingers to the bone, money is not an issue, it never really was and especially after my accident, I never really needed to work again and I can take care of Marlene, if she'll let me," She left the door open for Grace to comment, "Rebecca," She breathed in deeply, "Marlene is fine and happy and she's met someone," She gazed at the sad expression on her face, "I figured as much, I couldn't ask her to wait, with all my uncertainties, my memory was clouded and lost in a world of doubts, I tried to reason with her, make her understand that the reasons she left in the first place was the same reasons I had to reconnect with myself and my past," She uttered pacing across the room. "You didn't expect for her to wait did you?" Grace asked honestly, "No, I would be lying if I said I did, she wasn't very happy with me when she left and I had to let go," She sat down on the bed, "I had to come how else will I know how she truly feels if I didn't?" She questioned earnestly, "It won't be any easy task, I knew all along that you were in love with her, still," She smiled with a wink, "And I know deep down she loves you," Rebecca relaxed her shoulders, "I can't expect for her to drop her relationship but I have to fight for her Grace she belongs to me," She assured her, "Wow now that's a statement and I thought Marlene was aggressive," She chuckled loudly. "I love her," She voiced calmly, "I have a plan in place," Grace changed the subject it was set into motion. Rebecca and Marlene would meet the next day.

"Good morning Marlene," Grace seemed a little on edge to her, "Morning, are you alright?" She set the chart she was going over down, "Uh, yeah, yeah, I'm fine, Tracey around?" She questioned scanning the nurse's station. "She's in the ER this morning why?" She gave her a strange look, "Just wondering," She curiously looked around knowing she had secured Rebecca in the exam room, "I have a new patient," She opened the chart again, "Jane Smith, did we do the surgery on Ms. Smith?" She asked Grace unsure of whom she was. Grace swallowed hard, "I don't know, maybe she's a transfer," She shrugged her shoulders, "Ok, well she's first on my list," She closed the chart and began to walk into the room not looking up immediately, "Ms. Smith," She rustled the paper work and looked up to sudden shock, "Hello Marlene," Rebecca sat up on the exam table, Marlene was speechless staring in disbelief, "Rebecca!" She exclaimed looking back at the door and realizing Grace had set her up, "What are you doing here?" She had to catch her breath, "I came to see you," She was blunt with her answer. "I, I don't know what to say, I," She stopped momentarily, "Say your glad to see me," She smiled, "I'm stunned actually," She looked down to her leg, "Are you all right?" Rebecca flexed her leg showing her the stamina she now had, "Are you visiting New York or something?" She asked plainly, "No I'm here for you," She answered again. "Me," Marlene pointed to herself, "Yes, I wanted to see you spend a little time with you," She confirmed. "I have work to do, I mean I can't just take off," She stumbled over her words, "I'm staying at the Shoreview Inn room twenty six," She noted regaining Marlene's attention.

"Rebecca, I don't know why you've come all this way, it wasn't necessary, I've accepted you've wanted a different life for yourself and I've met someone else a wonderful woman who is fun and kind," She looked at her sincerely, "I can understand Marlene but in my heart we have unfinished business," Her stare penetrated Marlene's eyes, "Really Rebecca you would be wasting your time, you should go back to Düsseldorf and start your life over there where you belong," She was stern as she answered. "Just give me the chance to show you that I've changed that I'm willing to make sacrifices," She abruptly voiced, "I can't and I don't want to go back there, I'm happy here, I love my job, my life, I've settled in and I want my life to move on with Tracey," She pleaded, "Tracey huh? Is she a therapist? Nurse? What?" She asked with emotion, "If you must know she's a Doctor, she's simple and quiet the type of person who empowers me to do my best," She mildly argued, "Are you saying I never empowered you?" Rebecca became gruff, angry. "Please just go, I have a busy schedule today and I don't want to argue with you and above all I only wish you the best, please just leave me alone," She closed the chart and quickly left the examining room heading to Grace's office, Rebecca exited and took a cab back to the Inn. "Did you set this up?" She spoke in a rude tone startling Grace, "Calm down Marlene," She stood up from her desk and walked over to her, "Rebecca contacted me a couple of weeks ago, we talked and she really wanted to see you, I guess the reception wasn't very warm?" She asked, Marlene tried to calm her breathing, "Actually, I was angry," She leaned back against the door, "I couldn't tell her not to come Marlene, she's at a point where she's fully gained her functions back and she wanted to see you, talk about things," Marlene grimaced lowering her head she felt weak and disoriented.

"I hurt her with my words, I really didn't give her much of a chance to speak, I was floored when I saw her," She responded in monotone, "She needs to have closure Marlene," Grace became adamant, "She's come a long way and I don't mean trip wise, I mean mentally and physically and if there is a spark left," Marlene interjected, "I really care for Tracey, there is none of that self centered, egotist personality traits that come out with her, I don't want to be bogged down with, I have you back, now I'll leave you at home," Grace grabbed her by the arms, "Just a few months ago you wanted her back at any cost, your not being fair Marlene, how can you be in love with her and then make crass remarks like that?" She asked with anger, "She didn't want it, she never really told me she loved me Grace, the times we slept together, I wanted so desperately to hear those words, I spoke my heart but she wouldn't commit, I asked her to come to New Port and she wanted to find herself, she let me go Grace and we never really communicated afterwards that is until you encouraged me to send that card, I fought my feelings and what kind of response did I get?" She smirked sighing loudly, "I'm fine have a good life," She whaled loudly, Grace groaned, "Stop it just stop it, you may not want to but you at least need to talk to her, don't leave her hanging without another word," She looked at Grace coldly, "Why should I? She just needs to go back to Düsseldorf," She slammed the door leaving her office.

Marlene wondered down to the lounge and poured herself a hot cup of coffee she sat down, "There you are," Tracey walked in, Marlene looked as if she had seen a ghost, "Marlene are you ok?" She lowered her head, "I'm fine just a lot to do today and I'm not really feeling well," Tracey touched her forehead with the back of her hand, "You don't feel like your running a fever, why don't you reschedule your patients and go home and rest," She bent down kissing her on the lips, "Yeah your right, I'll go talk to Grace," She answered but wasn't very forthcoming about Rebecca, "We'll talk later," Tracey grabbed her by the hand, "Sure," Marlene whispered walking out of the lounge and in to Grace's office. "Your right, I should talk to Rebecca, can you take my patients today?" She asked sadly, "Yes, go I'll see you tomorrow and please call me," Marlene nodded, "Tracey knows I'm leaving for the day but she doesn't know about Rebecca," She added, "I want say a word," She smiled seeing her out.


	38. Chapter 38

**CHAPTER XXXVIII**

 **The cottage on Gray Gull Lane**

Marlene walked up the stairs and along the balcony to room twenty six she knocked loudly but there wasn't an answer she knocked again but to no avail she felt anguish in the pit of her stomach. "Where are you Rebecca," She rested her forehead against the door taking in a deep breath and turning to leave she looked out over the balcony and on the rocks below that bordered the shoreline she saw a figure sitting there, "Rebecca," She winced under her breath and hurried down the stairs and over to the rocks she waltzed up sitting beside her, Rebecca just stared out to sea, "It wasn't a very warm reception was it?" She questioned, Rebecca slightly turned her head towards her and then looked back across the water. "No it wasn't," She began to talk, "I don't know what I should expect but when you left it was for the best, I needed that time to heal and to see if being a part of your life again was truly what we both wanted, I never expected to be treated like a second class citizen," Marlene hung her head, "I'm sorry, I never thought I'd see you again and it was a shock, I just blurted rude things out," She cleared her throat. "I guess I shouldn't be surprised, really we didn't leave things in a very good way," She took in a deep breath, "Why are you here?" She confronted Rebecca, "I just told you Marlene," She gave her the Lahnstein look of discouragement. "You now want to be together?" She heightened her voice in sarcasm, "I mean why else would you be, here, I'm not returning to Germany, not now, not ever, you won't be able to drag me back to a life of boredom and despair," She stood up in a huff, Rebecca became guarded.

"Why are you acting this way Marlene?" Rebecca followed her off the rocks, "I never said anything about bringing you back home," She pleaded with her. Marlene walked in fast pace back to her car, Rebecca tight on her heels, "I've met a nice woman, I care very deeply for her Rebecca and I just don't want to play games, your moody, uncertain about things and pensive at times, its, its just too much," She stammered throwing her hands in the air, "Aren't you being a little harsh Marlene?" Rebecca felt her stomach in her throat, "Please just go back to Düsseldorf and leave me alone," She opened the car door, Rebecca slammed it with a push of her hand, "No, no I won't you may not want to hear this but your in love with me," She cracked an impish smile, "I've tried to forget you," She became more angrier staring at her with discontent, "You won't forget me, you love me too much," Rebecca tried to tease, "Stop and let me go and please, go back home," She maneuvered herself into the car driving away and leaving Rebecca standing in the parking lot she bowed her head in personal disgrace and dissatisfaction. Rebecca walked slowly back to her room and fell back onto the bed in defeat a quick knock came to the door, "Hey Grace," She opened it, "Come in," Grace hesitated, "Grab your purse and coat you need to eat and above that we need to talk," She followed Grace's orders they went to a small café not far from the Inn. "I guess when we talked, I should've have been more informative about Marlene's new companion," Rebecca moaned, "It wouldn't have mattered, I would have come anyway," Grace grunted mildly, "Marlene chewed me out," She began, "She told me that one of the things that hurt her the most was you could never say, I'm in love with you Marlene," Rebecca pursed her lips tightly and nodded her head.

"I can say that she told me on more than one occasion that she was in love with me but you knew that already," Rebecca gave her an eye of clarity, "Yes, I knew it and we talked about how you were distant and adamant about Lizette," She confirmed, "I told her that you were lying to her and yourself and that given time you would realize just what she meant to you," She remarked, "I was in such doubt and turmoil, of course I had been through so much and I needed to be alone and figure things out, I will never stop loving her no matter what our future brings, I couldn't really say those words she wanted to hear and I do know it hurt her," Grace frowned and asked, "All this months apart did you meet someone else?" Rebecca knew how perceptive Grace was, "Actually, I did, I met a man, Eric, nothing serious and I ended things with him when I finally got myself together and I knew that what I truly wanted was to be with Marlene," She spoke seriously, "You have your work cut out for you," She answered they ordered dinner, "Grace there's so much about Marlene," She quickly interjected, "Obviously I don't know the half of it," Rebecca snickered, "Well she kept you a secret for all the years I've known her," They both broke out in a laugh. "Back in those days she was devious a real bitch when she married my brother she was a total diva and didn't stop at anything to get her way," She replied sipping on a cup of hot tea. "What do you think changed her?" Grace probed. "Hagen's affair with her sister Dana, I knew their marriage wouldn't last and then her entanglement with Tristan, the rape, the pregnancy," She spoke softly reflecting on her past.

"It's true, Marlene has been through a lot as well," Grace resounded, "I didn't like her when she married Hagen we fought over a wedding dress she insisted I make her, I left for New York but when I came home things were different, she was lonely, beside herself, yes there was Tristan and he loved her deeply, the rape and pregnancy, changed her significantly and she needed someone," She reflected tucking her fist under her chin, "That's when you began to fall in love?" Grace inquired, "I had an idea during the abortion, I met her at the hospital she was alone and worried, I held her hand and I could feel the vibe, it was strange and something I had never really experienced before, I began to wonder and as we grew closer I couldn't control myself, I was very much in love with her but it was a fight and a struggle she was totally lost her world began to spin out of control, she was angry, irritated and jealous and she took it out on me, I tried to move on but she was there front and center never letting me get far from her," She remember in reflection. "This is difficult she seems to be happy with Tracey and I certainly don't want to anger her or take sides but I like you and I feel you're the right one for her we just have to come up with a plan," She smiled widely giving Rebecca a boost of confidence, "Tracey? That's her name?" She asked quietly, "Dr. Tracey Connors and she's lovely but very simple and they've hit it off, I won't lie its not going to be easy for you," They talked further making a plan.

Marlene showered she sat to the vanity and began to towel dry her hair she heard the doorbell ring and was nervous about answering it she tied the sash on her robe and walked to the door, "Who is it?" She asked calmly, "Its Tracey," She echoed. Marlene opened the door, "Hey, I thought I'd check to see how your feeling," Marlene let her in, "I've had better days," She closed the door behind her they sat to the sofa, "You kind of left abruptly like something was bothering you," She surmised staring closely at her, "I, uh, I really don't feel like talking, I just want to rest and go to bed early, you understand?" She sweetly questioned not wanting to throw Tracey off, "Sure, I certainly understand, I could call tomorrow and check on you, if you don't mind?" She worded getting up from the sofa and walking towards the door, Marlene's phone rang, "Hold on, it's Grace," She answered, Tracey awaited by the door, "Dinner tomorrow evening your place?" She talked, Tracey listened carefully, "Ok, yes I'll ask her," She hung up, Grace and David are having a few guests over for dinner tomorrow evening and they were wondering if we would like to join them," She smiled, "I would love to but it depends on how your feeling," Marlene furrowed her brow, "I think I'll be fine," She answered a date was made.

"Can I help you with anything?" Rebecca asked Grace, "No I'm good," David entered the kitchen grasping Rebecca by the shoulders, "It will the best clam chowder you've ever had, now come," He handed her a glass of red wine they sat out on the porch a cool breeze blew across the sand dunes, "It's beautiful here," She stated staring out watching the gulls make flight patterns in the sky, "It is," David answered, "Grace tells me Marlene was not over friendly," He tried to be sensitive with his words, "That's an understatement, she was angry," Rebecca replied, "I think our guest are arriving," He looked up, Marlene and Tracey entered not seeing Rebecca, Grace met them at the door, "Come in excuse us a moment Tracey," She grasp her elbow pulling her into the kitchen, "Don't be angry but we invited Rebecca," Marlene clinched her teeth together, "How do expect I will explain that to Tracey," She whispered in a cutting tone under her breath, "I'm sorry but she's here and alone and she feels just awful for what happened between you two yesterday," Tracey stepped into the kitchen, "I hope I'm not interrupting," She felt out of place and intrusive, "Oh no, I'm sorry would you like a glass of wine?" She pulled a glass from the cabinet, "Marlene?" She poured them both a glass there was a knock at the door, two more guests arrived David and Rebecca entered from the porch, Marlene could only stare, "Marlene," Rebecca spoke and then eyed Tracey, "You two know each other?" She seemed surprised Rebecca extended her hand out shaking it, "Rebecca, Rebecca Von Lahnstein," She introduced herself, "Hello, Tracey Connors," She answered and then grabbed Marlene's hand Rebecca looked down to see the warm exchange between the two of them she felt her insides flutter, "Tracey," A fellow coworker's voice called to her she excused herself from Marlene and Rebecca, "Why didn't you go home?" She spoke lowly following Rebecca out on to the porch.

"I'm not going home," She proclaimed with a firm stare, "What do you mean?" She asked in angst, "Just what I said, I have decided to stay," She answered, "Please stop wrecking my life," She started to walk back inside, Tracey met them on the porch, "I hate to break up this conversation but Marlene may I have a moment with you," She kindly asked, Marlene nodded walking back inside, "I didn't mean to interrupt as I'm sure you and your friend have some catching up to do but I have an emergency at the hospital," Marlene felt a weight lift from her chest, "I can get Grace to bring me home," She saw her out to the front stoop, they kissed good night. "Marlene," Grace called her to the side, "I'm sorry I didn't know what else to do," She grimaced, "Its ok," She found Rebecca out on the porch, "Care for a walk before the sun sets?" Rebecca asked with a grin, "Yes let me get my sweater," They made it past the dunes and walked close to the water there was silence at first, "Marlene, I have so much to say," She started to talk, "I'm listening," She engaged her, "I've thought of you so very often, my heart just wasn't in the right place, I tried to bury myself in my work, I dated but I knew deep down that I had to find out if you and I could truly make it work," She took her hand pulling Marlene in front of her, "I wanted you to know how much you mean to me," Marlene raised her hand, "Stop, the many times we were together and I told you I was in love with you, you remained guarded, quiet and you never really committed to anything," She pleaded and began to walk further down the shore, "I'm sorry you have to believe me, how could I say those words, words I know you so wanted to hear," She walked behind her, Marlene quickly changed the subject, "Look at all those cottages, enchanting aren't they, Rebecca gazed at them, "I wish I had one, maybe one day," She hung her head, Rebecca stood in front of her, "Is that what's important to you?" She questioned in an attempt to lighten her mood. "I have the things that are important to me, I have free reign here, I've met a wonderful woman who shares simple things she has a cottage up the road and lately I've spent a lot of time there, cocoa by the fire, walks along the beach," Rebecca's heart became torn, "Do you love her?" Marlene paused gazing into Rebecca's eyes.

"Marlene do you love her?" She grabbed her by both arms slightly shaking her to gain her attention, "I don't know Rebecca," Her tone hoarse, "I just know that when I'm with her I feel alive and wanted," Rebecca shook her head, "I guess I never gave you that?" She removed her grasp on Marlene, "You gave me a lot more, more than any relationship I had ever had, you set me free and taught me it was ok to love anyone regardless of who they were and I'm grateful," Rebecca wept listening to her, "Grateful huh?" Marlene became silent, "When I was in Düsseldorf and we were sleeping together, I told you I was in love with you, do you know how bad it hurt when you never responded?" Rebecca cleared her throat in a hard swallow, "I told you I was in a daze, my god Marlene, I was messed up you know first hand what I went through, I remember everything about us, our relationship, I remember all the fighting and sorrow the pain of being together, my career, the family business and its weighed heavily on me, I couldn't give you an answer, I loved Lizette or at least I thought I did and yes she hurt me badly and it was devastating for me, it just wasn't a good time to make statements and commitments I couldn't keep," Marlene listened to Rebecca's frantic pleas. "I feel like you used me because I was there and someone you use to know well I'm not a play toy or something you can take off of a shelf and display Rebecca," She answered in a huff quickly walking back to Grace's and leaving.

Rebecca awoke from a fitful night of sleep she dressed and went down to the lobby picking up coffee and a newspaper returning to her room and viewing the want ads she called a realtor and made arrangement to look at cottages. "I think you'll like this one," They walked up a cobblestoned path to a gray shingled cottage with a front porch that was adorned by window boxes overflowing with spring flowers, "As you can see the cottage has been renovated, there's a fresh coat of paint on the house, the front porch is new," The realtor explained as he slipped the key into the door, "Its cute, actually perfect," She smiled as they walked inside, Rebecca instantly feel in love she ran her hand along the kitchen countertop as they looked around the walls were white washed and it had an eloquent feel, "As you can see it has a fireplace, two bedrooms and look at this view," He opened the French doors that led out onto a rear covered porch cladded with patio furniture the view was spectacular, Rebecca breathed in the warm sunny air, "Its beautiful, I love it, is it close to the hospital?" She asked him, "Its about a ten minute walk to the new hospital and as you can see close to shops and town," He pointed as they looked back across the horizon, "Its perfect," They strolled back inside he sat his portfolio down on the kitchen bar, "The upstairs is small and has a crows nest, great for painting or writing or whatever crafts you might like to do," Rebecca walked up the stairway looking at the room and the view from atop," She silently walked back down the stairs, "Shore living here can be rather expensive, this cottage hasn't been on the market for very long and the previous owners took such good care of it, "He began to speak thumbing through the paperwork, "It won't last long but has a high price tag," He inserted. "Its beautiful and quaint," Rebecca started to say, "I have other listings if you would care to see them," He voiced, "No that won't be necessary, I like this one," She uttered mildly, "So you would like to make an offer? The owners live across the bay," He questioned, "No, I don't want to make them an offer, money is no object," She assured him they returned to his office and began the task of filling out the paperwork.

The realtor arranged a meeting with the owners for the next day, "Cash sale you say?" He questioned eagerly, "I'll have the bank wire the money first thing tomorrow," She chimed, "I'll get this expedited promptly however it will take a few days to get the title and all the paperwork in order," He confirmed, "What time will we meet with them, I have something very special planned and I was hoping that once the money was deposited I could get the key, I'm eager to get settled," Rebecca relayed in a happy tone, "I'm sure that won't be a problem," He asserted. Rebecca finished signing all the necessary documents as she began to fulfill hers and Marlene's dreams the road in front of her was in place it was time to set a further plan in motion she text Grace and arranged a meeting with her at her new home the cottage at three ten, Gray gull lane.


	39. Chapter 39

**CHAPTER 39**

 **The story in your eyes**

Grace met Rebecca at the cottage, "You bought this?" She questioned with a dropped jaw, "I did for Marlene," Grace stared at her strangely, "Before you say anything, I know its sudden but when we walked the beach the other night she was intrigued by the ones we saw and wished that she had one to call home," Grace sat down on the sofa, "Its beautiful, everything she would want but Rebecca I'm not so sure she'll accept it," Grace warned, "I know," She sighed, "I just," She stopped talking slamming her fist into the palm of her hand, "She wanted so desperately to hear that your in love her," Grace's voice echoed across the room, "I wasn't ready to tell her Grace," She was firm as she looked at her, "I think she has a real interest in Tracey Rebecca and I'm not about to rock that boat things are delicate right now and Marlene doesn't want to hurt her," Rebecca moaned, "And what about me?" She questioned frowning, "I told you, you have your work cut out for you, she feels wounded and Tracey is a safe haven," She answered directly, "My plan is to show her this place just the two of us but I wonder how," She stood up pacing, "When do you close?" Grace quizzed, "Tomorrow afternoon and I'll be moving from the Inn to here, I was lucky the owners didn't have a problem with me having the keys to the place," She smiled walking over to the French doors and looking out over the shore.

"Feel like dinner tonight?" Tracey stooped over grabbing Marlene from behind and kissing the back of her neck, "Hmmm, what did you have in mind, you've been so busy the last few days, I haven't had much time with you," She responded, Tracey twitched her lips sighing, "Its getting to be that time of year, beachgoers, teenagers and drunks," She giggled, "But I'm off call tonight and I just want to spend a little time with you, a good bottle of wine an evening walk along the beach," She whispered in Marlene's ear, "Oh, I think that's a wonderful idea, why don't I pick up some takeout," She offered, "Sounds good, let me finish my rounds and I'll meet you at the house," A plan was made. Tracey laid her keys on the table and pulled a bottle of wine from the cabinet she took off her sweater and relaxed on the sofa, "Hey," Marlene walked in she poured herself a glass of wine and brought the takeout boxes to the sofa, "Chinese," Tracey relayed they ate, "I have to ask you something Marlene," Tracey began to probe, "Ok, you seem upset, did something happen?" Marlene asked knowing all to well that she was going to bring up Rebecca, "This Rebecca woman that was at Grace's the other night, is she" Marlene interjected, "What about her?" She swallowed hard, "Is she a friend or the ex you told me about? She seemed nice but I had to leave and we haven't had the chance to really talk about her, does she know Grace and David?" Marlene's heart sank to her feet, "Tracey," She stuttered, "I need to tell you something," They were suddenly interrupted by the chime of Tracey's text she read it, "My grandmother is having her eightieth birthday party Saturday afternoon, mom would like for me to come home early Friday evening, my sisters will be in," She answered the text as she talked to Marlene, "Oh, I see, I think its good that you'll be able to see your sisters, I wish I could see mine," She chuckled.

"Now where were we," Her text chimed again, "Its my oldest sister, excuse me I need to call her, relax a bit," Marlene sipped her wine as Tracey walked out onto the porch, her mind began to wonder about Rebecca how they left things the night they met at Grace's, "I'm sorry, we haven't been together as a family in a long time and my sister is excited and looking forward to my visiting Providence," She set the phone down on the table returning to Marlene, "It's great you'll be able to reconnect with them, how did your sisters take your sexuality?" Marlene dug for an answer, "They're fine with it and as I told you my parents weren't I guess you could say my sisters have helped to level things out," She smiled her index finger placed tightly under Marlene's chin she drew her closer kissing her softly, "I've missed you these last few days," She kissed her again. "Tracey we should talk," Marlene became serious, "Why don't we walk along the beach that always relaxes you," Marlene took her by the hand, they began their walk, "Its about Rebecca," She started Tracey held her hand tightly, "She's here from Germany, and to answer your question, yes, she's my ex girlfriend," Tracey stopped looking at her, "Somehow I knew that," She worded sincerely, "I should have told you at Grace's or the next day," She felt shameful for keeping it from her, "Nonsense, we were both busy all week and we haven't had much time together, I know it must have been hard seeing her again," They continued their walk, "But when I look at you, I know you want to be with me," Tracey bravely spoke, Marlene felt at ease. "Why don't we go back, I'm," Marlene grabbed her and kissed her, "You don't have to say it," They moved at quick pace back to the cottage and into bed.

Marlene finished the rest of her paperwork a knock came to the door of her office, "Hey, I'm about to head out, I've done my rounds and David is letting me leave a little early," Tracey gabbed, Marlene stood up and walked over to her kissing her, "Shh, I just want you to have fun, its important to see your grandmother and sisters," She walked her to the door, "Have anything planned?" Tracey quizzed calmly, "I need to talk to Rebecca, find out when she plans to leave," Tracey crossed her arms, "Do you think she intends to stay?" Marlene groaned, "I don't know, I will find out when we talk," Tracey placed her lips to Marlene's, "I'll call when I get in Sunday evening," Marlene saw her out. "Grace," Marlene called out to her catching her before she entered her office, "Hey, have you heard from Rebecca?" She asked following her into her office, "Yes earlier," Marlene tightened her jaw, "Has she decided when she's leaving?" Marlene probed in persistence, Grace sat down to her desk, "Why don't you call her, ask her," She insisted, Marlene text her walking back to her office, she was given an address by Rebecca a meeting was arranged. "I'm leaving early to meet with Rebecca, I have the manifest at the nurses station," She slipped off her lab coat laying it across her arm, "Its fine, now if you don't mind," Grace shooed her out she quickly found her way to three ten Gray Gull Lane.

Marlene pulled up in front of the cottage getting out and looking around she casually strolled up to the front door knocking, Rebecca opened the door, "Come in," She spoke calmly, Marlene walked in looking around, "What did you do rent this?" She questioned, "Not exactly," She winced, "Then what? Why are you still here? I asked you to leave," The diva began to come out in Marlene, Rebecca remained silent momentarily, "Rebecca!" She exclaimed loudly, "Please Marlene you really didn't give me a chance to explain," She moved closer to her, "What is there to explain? I think you made it clear that I should return here, find a life and leave you to find yourself," She crossed her arms in a huff of anger, "So I guess you hate me and never want to see me again?" Rebecca's voiced cracked as she asked those words. Marlene was caught of guard, "I could never hate you, I, I" She bit her tongue, "You what Marlene?" Rebecca's face was close to hers she could feel Marlene's heavy breathing brushing her face, "Once I asked you when you were about to marry my brother, yes or no, I don't love you Rebecca," She remarked without a blink of her eyes and in a dead stare, "Do you remember those words? I don't love you Rebecca," She spoke it again, "I, I do remember and there's never been a doubt that I do love you but its not everything Rebecca, we lost it all but never our love," She wept as she spoke wiping her eyes, "I know you wanted me to tell you that I was in love you, I couldn't, I was with someone, you were married and starting a new career, Marlene it wouldn't have been fair, I knew all along in the back of my mind that I needed to get my life back, we discussed this very thing over and over," She pleaded, "Then you haven't answered me, why are you here?" She felt tightness in her throat.

Rebecca dropped her head and then quickly looked back up, "Let me show you," She extended her hand out to Marlene grasping her arm, "No Rebecca," She insisted, Rebecca took her hand and clutched her face, "You know you want me," Her brown eyes penetrating hers, Marlene's heart began to beat wildly, Rebecca placed her lips to Marlene's she attempted to pull away but Rebecca was too strong she kissed her sternly lips and tongues caught in a web of uninhibited passion, "Stop," Marlene begged cocking her head back, Rebecca's teeth clinched the side of her neck in tiny bites, her lips tracing the sweetness of Marlene's skin, "Please Rebecca," She groaned, Rebecca grabbed her wrists penning them to the wall, Marlene struggled. Rebecca twisted the button to the top of her shirt unbuttoning it, "We can't," Marlene clutched her taking her hands and pushing Rebecca away, out of breath, Rebecca whimpered, "Please don't," Marlene began to button her shirt, "I'm not about to cheat on Tracey like I did Mark," She rudely spoke, "Is she really who you want?" Rebecca searched for an answer, Marlene covered her eyes with her hands, "I care a great deal for her and she makes me happy," She seemed sincere to Rebecca, "Come here," She ordered Marlene as she was about to slip back on her sweater, "I really should go," She pulled her hair back, Rebecca took her hand they walked out onto the back porch the lights on the horizon romantic, "This is all for you," Rebecca mused, "What do you mean?" She turned to her, "You wanted a cottage by the shore so I bought you one," Marlene became stunned and speechless. "Me?" She, grumbled the shock of it all radiated through her like a bolt of lighting, "Maybe you could talk Tracey into moving and living here with you, I only want you to be happy," Marlene felt small and awful. "I could never do that, why would you do this?" Rebecca pulled her close her hands wrapped tightly around her waist.

"I know how much you wanted me to tell you how I felt, I fought it and I struggled, I have always held you close in my heart Marlene, I did this because I needed to show you that I was serious and you've known it all along and there should never be a doubt that I'm in love with you and I'm willing to do whatever it takes," She awaited an answer, "So in order to tell me your in love with me you bought me a house?" She muttered unsure of what to say next, "Its what you wanted you said it on the beach the other night, I thought you meant it," Rebecca became confused, "I don't know Rebecca and I can't accept your gift, it would always be a reminder of you and I'm afraid there would be strings attached," She was honest and to the point, "That's not a bad thing, I mean a reminder of me," She winced trying to get Marlene to smile, "Do you love me Marlene?" Her insides quivered at Rebecca's question, "Yes," She managed to speak, "Then don't fight it, we love each other and I want a life with you," Marlene pulled away from her she leaned against the porch railing her hands grasped the banister tightly, "You've been through so much Rebecca and I know you've healed significantly, all those months ago when I asked you to leave Düsseldorf and make a life with me you backed away and acted as though nothing had happened between us, you wanted to return to work and find your life, I was devastated to the point of uncertainty, when I left I never gave up hope that you would call or pay me a visit, my heart sank everyday when I checked my phone messages or my mail it was as if you faded away like a lost memory," She versed her voice chocked, her throat dry from despair. "I never meant for it to be that way, I'm sorry but what did you expect?" Rebecca became loud, "Obviously, I shouldn't have expected anything, I have to go," She headed for the door, Rebecca wheeled her around, "I won't let you go," She held her tightly. "Just stop it," Marlene shoved her away she swung open the door rushing to the car.

"Marlene," Rebecca was quick to follow, "Don't leave, don't walk away from this, us," She stopped just short of opening the door, "There is no us Rebecca," She entered the car driving away as quickly as she could. Rebecca felt wounded her heart ached worse then her head she went back inside thinking that she had just lost Marlene again she sat back down on the sofa the tears streamed down her face she poured herself another glass of wine. "What do I do," She spoke aloud wiping her face, "I have to make her see that we belong together," She sobbed laying across the sofa she curled up in a ball her phone rang it was Tristan, "Tristan," She was lonely for news and voices from home, "I had to check on you," She sighed, "I'm good," Her voice sounded sad, "Marlene?" He asked, "Difficult, stubborn," She added they laughed, "So are you ready to come home?" He mentioned, "I'm beginning to think that Eric was right chances are she'll never take me back and I've wasted my time coming here, I mean what was I thinking?" She questioned he could tell how lonely she was, "Do you need me? I'm just a flight away," He offered, "I wish you were here however I think it would only complicate matters," She remarked, "I take that as you are not about to give up," His tone moot, "I don't know, part of me wants go to the airport now and leave but the other part tells me I should fight," She spoke in a soft tone, "Do you love her?" He asked knowing the answer, "More than I ever have," She wept as she said it, "Then you wouldn't be a Lahnstein if you didn't fight to the end, no matter what the cost Rebecca you have to remember who you are and what makes you who you are never forget that," He implored kindly. "I miss you," She mused, "And I you, I love you my little sister," They hung up Rebecca felt sentimental.

Marlene relaxed opening the newspaper and sipping her coffee she sighed deeply almost gasping she folded the paper up tossing it across the table she phoned Grace, "Talk," She mildly quizzed, "David is at the office this morning, I have the coffee on," She responded. Marlene dressed rushing over to see Grace, "What's going on?" She poured her a cup they sat out on the porch, "Rebecca, what else, she making my life hard and she bought a cottage just for me," She explained in a shudder, "Yes, I'm aware," Grace hesitated to answer, "Wait a minute, you knew this?" Marlene became perplexed, "I did and I support her, she's determined to see this through Marlene," She furrowed her brow in a grunt, "She told me she was in love with me, finally but I had to coax it out of her she was being stubborn as usual," Marlene uttered, "Did you spend the night?" Grace asked plainly, Marlene gave her a quick look, "No I did not, I couldn't do that to Tracey," Grace moaned, "Oh so your relationship with Tracey is serious? I see, I thought you wanted to take things slow or at least I thought it was a companionship with no attachments," She voiced, "I have feelings for her she's fun, simple and we like the same things," She nervously chuckled, "Fun and simple?" Grace's voice became animated, "Yes why are you acting this way?" She inquired her blue eyes piercing Grace's. "How long before you sleep with Rebecca? Have you thought at all about the reasons she's here?" Marlene sat back in her chair lowering her shoulders, "The cottage, did you know she was going to do this?" She asked sternly, "No, she called me after the fact, I met her there she only wants you to be happy but Marlene you have to ask yourself," Marlene quickly interjected, "I don't need to ask myself anything, it was over when I left Düsseldorf and I don't want the heartache of Rebecca's indecisions about things," She finished her coffee, "You should talk to her again, obviously things didn't go well last night," She surmised.

Marlene took in a deep breath, "I know she won't leave unless I seriously tell her how I feel, I mean last night was traumatic and difficult, difficult not hold her in my arms, I just made myself have the strength to avoid it, I can't fall into that rut again, loving her has never been the question, at least not for me but I'm situated and happy now," She lowered her shoulders, "Did you ever give her the benefit of the doubt? She's here for a reason and I believe they're strong reasons, she loves you and is willing to make sacrifices for you or do you not see that?" Grace badgered her. "I can't Grace, she'll want me to return to Düsseldorf, I don't want to go back there to live, I'm concerned she will want to return full time to LCL and all the stress it caused us," She stated, "Aren't you being a little unfair? That was years ago she's in charge you have a career and come on Marlene she bought you a cottage," She muttered loudly. "You make things harder than they are, go talk to her, share your concerns, tell her what you think," She advised. "Your right, I need to talk honestly with her," She mentioned, "I'll see you later," Marlene left making her way to the cottage.


	40. Chapter 40

**CHAPTER 40**

 **An idea**

Marlene made her way to the cottage things appeared quiet she knocked on the screen door but there wasn't an answer she peered in through the screen, "Rebecca," But still no answer she walked around back but Rebecca wasn't around, "Hmmm," She raised her hand to guard the sun from her eyes when she saw her walking along the beach. Marlene followed the path down to the shore walking up to her, "Hi," She brushed her shoulder with the tips of her fingers, "Hey," She answered looking away from her, "I apologize about last night," Rebecca remained quiet, Marlene followed, "Really, I'm feeling terribly bad about the way I treated you," Rebecca shrugged her shoulders finding a dune and sitting against it, Marlene joined her, "Rebecca," She began, "Please go back home," She shifted an eye to her, "No Marlene, I won't," She begged to differ, "Why not?" She turned her face closer to Rebecca's, "Because I love you and I'm not giving up," Marlene sighed lowering her head in a shake, "I'm happy with the way things are in my life now, I don't plan to return to Germany other then to visit family," She winced, "Who said anything about living in Germany?" Rebecca inquired a frown now covered her face. Marlene groaned mildly, "Isn't that the reason you're here? Really," She further questioned. "No, I'm here to be with you, did you think this was a joke, me coming, the cottage?" She had fire in her questioning. "I know you Rebecca, you wouldn't leave, LCL any longer then you have to," She seemed bewildered to Rebecca.

Rebecca walked back up the sandy path to the cottage not wishing to talk about their relationship any further, Marlene rested her chin on her knees not moving from the dune, "God," She whimpered under her breath finally getting up and slowly strolling back to the cottage, Marlene took her shoes off dusting the sand from them she entered the French doors Rebecca relaxed on the sofa with a glass of wine, "Rebecca," She voiced, Rebecca raised her hand, "I don't want to talk, " She took a big swig from her wine glass, Marlene sat next to her with some uneasiness. "Last night when we kissed did it mean anything at all to you?" Rebecca remarked, Marlene bit her lip in a stare, "I would be lying to you if I said it didn't," Rebecca sat her wine glass down on the whitewashed coffee table she tucked her legs up underneath her, "I talked to Tristan last night," She said draping her arm across the back of the sofa, "And how are things?" She quizzed, "Fine," She nodded answering, "I guess you told him we argued," She awaited her answer, "He's worried about me but agrees I must stay strong and fight for what I want," She was serious as she spoke and then continued, "He says I wouldn't be a Lahnstein if I didn't," She professed. "And how do you feel about his sermon?" Marlene chuckled as she asked, "He's right," She picked her wine glass back up taking another drink of it. Rebecca moved her face close to Marlene's, "Your all I've thought about all day and all I've wanted to do is kiss you," She begged Marlene pulled back, "Please Rebecca," She started to get up, Rebecca pulled her back down nearly in her lap.

They gazed deeply into one another's eyes Rebecca placed her lips to Marlene's kissing her tenderly she slightly pulled back eyeing her, "I love you so much Marlene," She grinned saying it she reached forward again her hand cupped behind Marlene's neck she kissed her with little duress their tongues twisted in surreal passion, "Rebecca," Marlene whispered, "Don't talk," She started to kiss her again. "I can't," She got up, I" need to go," Rebecca stood up, "Ok, I can't stop you," She walked her to the door, "You asked me once if Lizette commanded me the way you did, her touches, her kisses," Rebecca probed, Marlene could only stare, "You wanted me so bad," She relayed touching her index finger to her bottom lip, "And now you act nervous and scared," Marlene gazed at Rebecca's lips hers trembling and twitching in angst she knew deep down she wanted to kiss her but held back. Marlene slightly turned her head, "It wouldn't be fair to Tracey I'm trying to start a relationship with her, one that won't have turmoil and unfulfilled promises, I can't give you what you want, I have to go and you should think about doing the same," She uttered gruffly opening the screen door and seeing herself out Rebecca watched her through the checkered pattern in the screen her mind in a haze from their close encounter.

Grace dressed and text Rebecca, "Pick you up in a few," It read, "Good need to talk," She answered and readied herself for Grace's arrival, "Rebecca," Grace called from the outside of the door she slipped on her sweater and grabbed her purse, "Good afternoon," Rebecca spoke walking out and locking up, "Lunch, I know of a sandwich shop in town," Rebecca smiled, "That will be fine," She answered. "So it didn't go well with Marlene?" She asked sitting down in a booth after ordering, "No," Rebecca took in a deep breath, "I asked myself what am I doing here?" She planted her chin firmly atop her fist, "Fighting for the woman you love that's what," Grace humbled her, "I don't know Grace, I know she loves me but she insists that she want's to be with Tracey, I tried hard, we kissed and I thought one thing would lead to another," She groaned, "She remained strong and didn't give into my advances," Grace Placed her hand on top of Rebecca's, "Your not giving up are you?" Rebecca chuckled, I spoke to my brother Tristan last night and he gave me encouragement he said I wouldn't be a Lahnstien if I gave up," She added their lunch was set on the table, "I think I have a plan," Grace mumbled biting into her sandwich, Rebecca became enlightened, "Ok," She nodded and continued, "I'm listening," Grace set her sandwich down, "I'm not sure how you feel about this but it would be something to keep you busy while your working on her," Rebecca stared at her lending her an ear. "Later this summer the Hospital would like to give a gala event, this year focusing on breast cancer awareness in a fund raiser of course all proceeds would go to that research facility and we would announce a scholarship," She relayed, Rebecca eyed her strangely. "And where do I fit in?" She questioned uncertain of Grace's intentions.

"I've pitched it to David and some of the administrative staff but I was thinking we could give a fashion show with a dinner included," She looked at Rebecca who smiled widely, "A fashion show huh?" She quizzed, "You are so gifted when it comes to fashion you could design and sew gowns that some of the women staff could model, a theme so to speak," Rebecca became mum momentarily, "What a great idea," She worded excited about the possibility, "I thought the upstairs room of the cottage would make an excellent sewing room and you would have weeks to prepare, I and several of the administrative staff will do the rest of the leg work, mind you, you would be involved and in charge of the fashion show part," Her smile eased Rebecca's worried mind it would give her the chance to do what she loved while working towards getting Marlene back, "I accept," She giggled loudly, "This is fantastic news Rebecca and I know we won't be disappointed," They finished their lunch, Grace drove her back to the cottage, "I have things to do," Rebecca voiced, "I'm sure you do," She replied, "I'll call you Monday, I know you have a lot of planning to do," She drove off leaving Rebecca with numerous ideas running through her head she rushed into the living room pulling out her sketchpad and began to draw in a frenzy something she hadn't done in a while. Rebecca drew out a few dresses and outfits and then turned her attention to the quietness of the room she climbed the stairs to the crow's nest she looked around at the small square area and began to imagine where her sewing machine would go.

"Good morning everyone," Grace chattered calming the noises in the conference room, "As you are aware the gala event will be scheduled for July twenty fifth, a theme has been decided on and a dinner fashion show will be put on, I would like to introduce you to our fashion show designer and coordinator, Rebecca Von Lahnstein," Marlene quickly looked up from her note pad and watched as Rebecca walked into the room she then looked at Tracy who grunted in a slight grin. "Rebecca has graciously accepted our offer and has donated her time, materials and the clothing she'll be producing for the event, Ms. Von Lahnstein," Grace motioned with her hand, "Yes good morning everyone, its my pleasure to work amongst you," She set up the easel and began placing the large placards of drawn figures on the mount going over each in a professional manner and getting applause from her captive audience. "Good morning Marlene, Tracey," Rebecca spoke her face sullen as they acknowledged her, "Rebecca," Tracey answered extending her hand out in a light shake, "I'll need models," She quickly brightened up, "Well its for a good cause so you can count on me," Marlene finally spoke, "Tracey?" She looked at her, "I'm not much for modeling but anything else, I can surely help," She committed, Rebecca secretly stared at her, her beauty was wholesome and she seemed friendly she thought to herself, Rebecca then eyed Marlene, "I should go, I have a lot to do and I have plenty of things to sew," She smiled. Marlene and Tracey watched her leave Tracy slipped her hand around Marlene's waist "Are you ok?" Marlene breathed in deeply, "I will be," They walked out together returning to Marlene's office, "Busy day?" she asked throwing her arms across Tracey's shoulders, "Unfortunately I do but I'm off tonight," She snickered kissing Marlene's lips, "And what do you have planned," She giggled tickling her sides but Marlene's mind was on Rebecca.

The next few days were busy for Rebecca her sewing machine arrived along with materials and supplies that were donated by LCL for the event she stayed busy sketching, designing redesigning and it helped her not to think hard about Marlene. "Rebecca," Marlene's voice called out, Rebecca turned looking down the stairs, "Up here," She raised her voice getting her attention, Marlene looked around climbing the stairs, "Well I see your in your niche," She remarked, "Uh, yes and as you can see I've been very busy," She softly spoke Marlene looked at the numerous amounts of material pieces, buttons and thread scattered about the floor, "Hmmm, Grace said you had a gown ready for me to try on," Rebecca grinned and pulled it from the clothing rack she handed it to her, "I'll let you change, I'm going down stairs, would you like a glass of wine?" She asked heading down, "Yeah, uh, I guess," She watched her until she was out of sight. Rebecca poured them each a glass of wine, Marlene slowly walked down the stairs holding the base of the gown up, "Wow," Rebecca looked up to see her, "You look beautiful," She gawked as Marlene smiled widely, "The gown is absolutely gorgeous," She turned around showing it off, Rebecca sat the glasses on the coffee table and walked over to her tugging at the pleat on the waistline, "I think that needs to come in a little," She turned her head form side to side, "I'll go up and change, do you want me to hang it back on the rack?" She asked, Rebecca nodded sitting down on the sofa and relaxing with her wine, "I can't stay long, Tracey and I have plans for later," Rebecca swallowed hard she felt bad and strained, "You really care for her don't you?" She asked as Marlene sat next to her, "I do deeply," Rebecca's ears burned at those words, "Well, I think after the fashion gala is over and I have a few days to rest, I think I'll head up to New York, my apartment is free and I'll visit and check out the fashion scene," She remarked, Marlene slightly turned her head away, "I think its for the best, who knows maybe that place on Stanton Street is still available," They both chuckled.

Rebecca said nothing sipping her wine in reflection of New York she grimaced, "We should have moved to New York," She whispered thinking of how it would have changed things, "It wasn't meant to be, I couldn't change your mind even after all the plans we made you wanted to stay at LCL, your thought process was always about getting ahead in the fashion industry it took a toll on us, I lied to myself Rebecca, I knew we had grown apart and it was an attempt to start mending things, our relationship," Rebecca interjected, "Yeah and I managed to screw things up, I trashed any respect I had for you," Marlene touched the sleeve of her shirt, "I'm over it, its ok, it was a tough lesson for the both of us and it was a long time ago," She resounded firmly. "Still the move to New York could have been the turning point, I was foolish and selfish, I just wanted to work and to please my family," She stood up laying her forehead against her hand, "It was your destiny," Marlene reminded her. "I'm sorry for all the pain I caused you," She stood up and embraced Rebecca closing her eyes as she laid her chin atop her shoulder, "Its ok, we've made up for that, its our past and its neatly tucked away," She added, Rebecca pulled back their faces close together they stared for what seemed like an eternity into each other's eyes, "Please stay," Rebecca asked boldly, "I can't Rebecca," She opened the door, "Don't walk out that door, if you love me you won't walk out that door, if you do everything we meant to each other will be in vain," Marlene stopped cold in her tracks disheartened by Rebecca's comments. "Rebecca please don't make this any harder than it is and our love was never in vain how could you say that?" She questioned tearfully, "When you came back home you made it a point of trying to get me back," She versed, Marlene arched her brow, "Yes, I did but it wasn't what you wanted and when I asked you to leave with me you refused," She made herself clear.

"We've discussed this Marlene, you expected me to just leave, I needed to get my life back, you knew this," She stammered as she spoke, "You wouldn't let me help you, why didn't you let me? I loved you, I could've been there for you to help you to remember just what was lost but you were stubborn and the same old Rebecca came shining through," She argued heading towards the car, "Stop Marlene," She ordered, "I'm not going to argue any further with you Rebecca," She answered in a heightened voice, Rebecca ran out behind her clutching her, "I won't let you leave like this," She grabbed her hand tugging her until Marlene followed her back in side she wheeled her around her lips parting hers in a much needed kiss their tongues melded together in want and need, Rebecca moved her mouth to Marlene's neck latching on to it her hands roaming freely down to her sides and then her waist. "Marlene, I want you so badly," She whispered her fingers making quick work of the top button of Marlene's shirt, "Rebecca I can't," She tried to pull away but Rebecca's emotional strength was too much she dropped Marlene's shirt to the floor she took her hand again this time leading her to the bedroom. They stood by the side of the bed, "I've never wanted anyone the way I want you," Rebecca grasped her bra unsnapping it she reached forward kissing Marlene's breasts her lips tasting her nipples, Marlene's hand found its way behind Rebecca's head pulling her even closer. "Oh god," she cocked her head back as her body shuddered with sexual desire. Rebecca stopped looking up at her she began to strip herself as Marlene watched her, Rebecca unzipped Marlene's slacks pulling them off both now naked caressing each others bodies, "Make love to me," Rebecca begged she laid her across the bed staring at the length of her nude body with hungry eyes. Rebecca raised a hand to her she hesitated stopping, "I can't Rebecca," She began to cry, "Hey, Marlene," Rebecca held her tightly in her arms, "It's ok, shh," She whispered closely her hand clasping the side of her face.

Marlene tore herself away from Rebecca her hand meeting her face wiping her eyes, She slipped back on her clothes advancing to the door without looking back Rebecca stayed in the bed a wave of sorrow caused her stomach to churn, "I've lost you and I don't know why," She cried out loud to no one there. Rebecca laid there in defeat she covered her now chilled body and closed her eyes in solitude and emotional distress. Marlene found herself on Tracey's doorstep in contemplation of what she would say, "There you are," Tracey answered the door to Marlene standing there in an unusual mood. "Is everything alright?" She grabbed her by the arm, "No, no I was just thinking of something," She managed a smiling entering the living room, "If you'd rather not go tonight we could spend a little more time together here," Tracey quietly approached her, "Uh, no I'm fine really, its just been a long afternoon that's all," She asserted, "Marlene, I know you went to Rebecca's to try on a dress for the fashion show," She pulled her chin up with her index finger, Marlene felt guilt riddled in her mind, "Grace told me," Tracey further admitted, "Yes, I did try on the dress," She went cold and didn't want to talk about it, "Did something happen? You look out of sorts, scared almost," She tried to wedge out the truth from her. Marlene sighed in a huff, "She wants me back Tracey," She uttered loudly and continued, "And right now for me, I've found someone else," She pointed to herself and grinned a solemn grin at Tracey. Tracey knew it was time to confront Rebecca.


	41. Chapter 41

**CHAPTER 41**

 **The Visitor**

Rebecca and Grace stared at the catwalk as Rebecca commanded the construction workers on how far out to move it, "That's it, right there," she motion with a flick of her hands, "Looks like you've been very busy," Grace cut in, "I have been the last few days, I haven't had much sleep," She commented looking back at the catwalk, "No, no place the banner there," She pointed stepping forward and interrupting the workers, "How are things with Marlene?" Grace probed, Rebecca stopped for a moment, "She doesn't want anything to do with me and I told her that as soon as this fashion show was over, the proceeds were lined out and I had a few days rest I would be leaving for New York," She voiced nearly out of breath. "I'm sorry," She lowered her head, Rebecca groaned pulling her away from the stage. "She came to try the dress on the other day and we nearly made love," Rebecca blurted out, Grace looked around, "I guess she pushed you away?" Her question on target, "Yes obviously she really has a thing for Tracey and if she's happy, I don't want to stand in her way," She answered with angst. "So you're just going to give up that easily?" Grace broached the subject with a quirky stare, " As I've said, after the fashion show and when everything is settled up, I'll be returning to New York, my apartment is free and I think I'll spend some time there getting my head back together," She attempted a smile, "You mean getting your heart unbroken," Grace moaned under her breath, Rebecca sighed, "You've been such a friend," She touched her sleeve, "And to Marlene too but I can't ask her to change her life anymore for me," She replied sadly.

"It's funny how life changes or gets rearranged," She added, "I just don't get it," Rebecca resounded they sat to the table, "She confesses her love for me, we have an affair, I mean she's committed to me and working out something and I manage to screw things up," She shook her head, "I think things went too fast for the two of you, it took you a long time to discover you wanted a relationship with her and it revolved around your accident and I can understand Rebecca that you needed to clear things that you had been through so much, I think Marlene got in a hurry and when you didn't commit it was a warning flag for her, she became guarded and angry," Rebecca frowned, "I told her when she came to me that I just wasn't ready for anything permanent, that like herself I needed to find me, I didn't know really if I could survive without Lizette even though I knew Marlene was one of the reasons I wanted to leave her, Lizette was a very important part of my life," She voiced strongly, "I know you ended things with her," Grace replied, "I did, she was a cheat and a liar, things wouldn't have worked," She admitted the truth. "Still you shouldn't give up on Marlene," She warned, "There you are," David startled them, "I'm sorry," She answered he walked over to the table, "Rebecca," He nodded, "David," She smiled, "I know you ladies are busy but Grace I need some charts from your office, can you come back to the hospital," He lifted her up from the table by hand, "I think we're through here, why don't I walk back with you," They closed things up and headed back to the hospital.

Grace walked to her office, "I'll get these folders for David and then take you home," She told Rebecca, "I think I'll head down to the cafeteria for a coffee," She pointed with her index finger, Grace nodded. Rebecca entered the cafeteria and filled up a Styrofoam cup with hot coffee she sipped it, "Hello Rebecca," Tracey spoke, "Oh hello Tracey," She answered in a surprised tone, "How are you?" She further inquired, "I'm fine working on the fashion show, it's kept me busy," She answered taking another sip of coffee, "Do you have a moment," Tracey asked slipping her hands into the pockets of her lab coat. "Sure," Rebecca could feel the tension between them begin to mount, "I guess I should just come out and ask," Tracey started to talk, Rebecca stared calmly, "Do you plan to stay after the fashion show?" Rebecca hesitated briefly, "Uh, I plan to finish up and head to New York," Tracey seemed at ease, "Marlene didn't put you up to this did she?" She asked, Tracey pursed her lips, "No, no she didn't, I'm asking because she's been distracted and distant since you came and we have a good relationship but I feel there's a lot of un necessary tension, we are finally realizing our feelings for each other," Rebecca interjected, "Yes she's told me how she feels but to be honest Tracey, Marlene will never love anyone but me," She clarified with a tremble in her tone, Tracey was stunned at her revelation, "Your wrong Rebecca, she's over you and just wants a free life away from you," Tracey quietly added, "Tracey, you can believe that all you want but there will never be a time that she won't think of me," Rebecca became adamant but in a kind way, "So if you'll excuse me, I have sewing to do," She finished the last sip of coffee and hurried out of the cafeteria.

"Dusseldorf fashion, Eric Drake speaking," Eric answered the phone toying with a pencil as he tried to put to paper a rough draft of a story he had been working on, "Eric, come up to my office please," The voice of a man spoke he quickly hung up and headed up to the second floor lightly knocking on the door of the magazine editor, "Mr. Voss you wanted to see me?" He waved his hand for him to come to the desk, "I thought you might be interested in doing a story on this," He flipped the laptop around for him to see, there on the screen was a picture of Rebecca heading up a gala event in New Port. Eric's heart sunk to his feet seeing her again dredged up the resentment and hurt he had experienced, "I think this would make an excellent story for our magazine and its for a worthy cause, we need to branch out somewhat and show the other side of fashion don't you think?" Mr. Voss gave him a keen eye, "I don't know, Rebecca and I, we," He cut him off, "You're a fine young man Eric and I know things happened but I also know that if there's a chance for the two of you, well the only way to find out is to go and do a story for the magazine, I suggest you book a flight today," He ordered with a deep chuckle, Eric nodded and was grateful returning to his office and booking a flight.

Rebecca and Grace rolled the racks from the hallway into the dressing room, "Are we about ready?" Grace asked Rebecca in a nervous tone, "Everything will be just fine do you know where Marlene is?" She asked calming Grace, Marlene stepped from behind the curtain wearing one of Rebecca's favorite gowns she had sewn. "Marlene you look beautiful," They both stopped to admire her she slightly rotated her hips turning her head back with a smile, Rebecca's heart beat radically, Marlene's honey blonde hair glittered in the light her smile beckoned Rebecca, "Tracey," Grace uttered breaking Rebecca's attention on Marlene, "Wow, you two look stunning," Grace elbow Rebecca, "Uh yeah, so are we ready?" Rebecca snapped her fingers the fashion show went on, the evening glamorous, Rebecca walked up to the podium as the last of the models showed off the dresses, "Thank you everyone, thank you," She bowed her head and continued, "Its been an honor and a pleasure to host such an event and I wanted to thank the many Doctors, nurses and hospital employees who worked timelessly to kick this event off, I've enjoyed every moment and it was for a very good cause," Marlene watched in guarded passion as she felt Tracey's hand slip up to hers clutching it. Eric with a bouquet of flowers walked up to meet Rebecca he handed her the bouquet reaching forward and kissing her, Marlene's eyes flew wide open as she felt the pressure of anger rise up into her chest, "Who is he?" Tracey whispered in her ear looking with shock, "I, I don't know," Her heart sank in disbelief. Grace turned her head to see Marlene's expression. The evening began to wind down Marlene stared as she watched Rebecca inhale the freshness of the flowers that were given to her by the handsome young man who stood by her side. "Are we ready?" Tracey asked Marlene as they stood up from the table, Marlene secretly watched as Rebecca and Eric walked behind the curtain. "Sure, uh huh," Marlene finally spoke, Tracey's text chimed she lifted her phone looking at the message, "I have an emergency," She frowned, "I need to go, I'll meet you back at the cottage," She smiled brushing her lips against Marlene's before she departed.

Marlene looked around and noticed that most of the crowd was involved in conversation she crept towards the stage curtain, stepping behind it staying in the shadows and out of view of Rebecca she clutched the curtain and listened, "Imagine what a surprise it was to see you," Rebecca began, Eric touched the side of her face with his hand, "What are you doing here?" She further inquired, "I was sent on assignment to cover this story and it was the perfect opportunity to see you again," He gazed sadly at her and then looked around, Marlene trembled with uncertainty as she listen closer to them talk, "As soon as I finish up we could go for a drink," He smiled, "I'd love that," He began to help her tidy up as Marlene stared on groaning and biting her lip, "Marlene," Grace whispered under her breath, "Stop spying on them," She tugged her arm pulling her away, "Grace," She growled under her breath but Grace was relentless, "They'll be going to the old Whaling house for a drink, everyone else is headed that way, you can talk to her there," She muttered pulling her away. Grace sent Marlene with David as she found Rebecca and Eric placing the dresses back on the rack, "What a show that was," Grace whaled embracing Rebecca, "And successful too I might add," She smiled, "Grace Brandon, Eric Drake," They shook hands, "Eric is a friend from Düsseldorf and works for a fashion magazine there," She prompted, "Oh, its nice to meet you and I'm assuming we will be getting some press there?" She asked arching her brow, "Yes absolutely" He chuckled, "Rebecca has filled me in about you and she says you've been a wonderful friend," He noted they laughed, "We're heading over to the Whaling house for drinks," Rebecca grinned, "Yes we should go," Eric took her by the hand.

They entered the Whaling house bar and began to mingle amongst the crowd, "David Brandon," He voiced shaking Eric's hand, "Eric Drake, I'm a friend of Rebecca's," He relayed, "Please join us," They sat to the table with David and Grace as Marlene walked up, "Hello," She smiled, "Eric, this Marlene," He grasped her hand softly, "Hello, how are you?" He asked, "I'm fine thank you, Rebecca," She nodded sitting across from them with a stare of worry, "So how do you and Eric know each other?" David began the conversation, "Rebecca and I dated for quite awhile when she was living back in Düsseldorf," He replied looking at Marlene, Marlene could feel the stare of his blue eyes piercing hers, "Well welcome to New Port, I hope you enjoy your stay," David toasted them, Rebecca tried not to stare at Marlene, "How long will you be staying?" Marlene boldly asked he smiled in hesitation, "As long as Rebecca wants me to," He conveyed willfully, Marlene felt her heart race with eagerness. "Dance?" Eric questioned Rebecca she agreed taking his hand and moving on to the dance floor, Marlene watched with uneasiness, "She must be the one," Eric mentioned holding Rebecca close and whispering in her ear, "She is," She answered sternly he pulled back from her staring her in the face, "I guess things haven't gone as you would have expected?" He quizzed in wonderment, "They haven't she's met someone else and doesn't want anything to do with me," She was honest as she answered him, "I guess I shouldn't say, I told you so," He grinned teasing her, "I had to try, I know she loves me and I don't want to give up but it seems we take a step forward and then two back, I guess her girlfriend couldn't make it, I don't see her," She craned her neck scanning the room for her, Eric pulled her back to him, "I'm here now," His index finger found its way to Rebecca's chin pulling her face up and touching his lips to hers in a tender kiss.

Marlene watched the two of them with angst and anxiety her body twitched and cringed at the sight of them kissing she frowned angrily, "Marlene," Grace startled her touching her hand, "Yes Grace," She was curt with her words, "Eric seems like a nice young man, however I thought she was only interested in women," Marlene lowered her shoulders looking at her, "I think she met him shortly after I left, Rebecca is not much for labels either and obviously she feels something for him," She smirked, Grace tried to calm her, "Tracey was called out?" She further spoke changing the subject, "Yes, " Marlene replied checking her phone for any message from her. "Why don't you ask Rebecca to dance," Grace prodded, Marlene quickly shifted her head towards her, "Me?" she seemed shocked at her words, "Go on, you'll never find out about him if you don't ask," She hesitated briefly before standing and then approaching them, "May I?" She grinned in a nod to Eric he obliged. Marlene took Rebecca in her arms, Rebecca remained quiet closing her eyes and laying the side of her face across her shoulder, "Rebecca," Marlene spoke she awoke from the hazy daydream she was in, "Yes," Rebecca faced her, "Who is he?" She questioned with intensity, "Someone I had a relationship with after you left," She mildly responded, "You ended things with him?" She begged for an answer, "I did, I cared for him deeply and it was at a time when I began to feel in control again everything was new and fresh and he walked through the doors of LCL and we hit it off," She explained, "Was the relationship serious?" Marlene felt a, coldness encompass her as she asked, "It was for him but not for me, we had fun and he's really a great guy," She remarked thinking of him.

"Rebecca he's here for a reason other than just a magazine article," Marlene warned, "Marlene, are you jealous?" She voiced in curiousness, "No, what gives you that idea?" She felt cornered and out of sorts, "Because I know you," She broke away from her in a huff returning to the table, Rebecca watched with angst, "Marlene you were Rebecca's therapist?" Eric asked studying the bleak expression on her face, "Uh, yes," She quietly replied, "She's made a remarkable recovery obviously you helped her greatly," He mentioned gaining her attention, "Rebecca," He grabbed her around the waist startling them from the conversation they were having, "Its late and I'm ready to go," She stated, "Ok where to?" He asked, "My place," She responded, Marlene squinted her eyes and clinched her jaw as she listened to Rebecca speak, "I could have David drive you," Grace offered, Rebecca sighed, "I think we will walk, its not that far," She cocked her brow giving Marlene a look, Tracey walked in and up to them, "Oh hi, " Marlene grasped her quickly kissing her, "I'm here to pick you up," She looked at Eric, "I'm Dr. Tracey Connors," She extended her hand to Eric, "Eric Drake and I'm a friend of Rebecca's" He spoke, Rebecca wrapped her hand around his arm, "Nice to meet you, enjoy your stay," Rebecca shook her head, "We should go," They bid everyone good night and left, Marlene secretly watched as the door closed behind them. Tracey took Marlene by the hand, "Are you ready?" Marlene felt tense and angry she desperately tried to keep it from Tracey, "I guess you're a little shocked?" The noise in the bar began to ring in her ears, "By what?" She answered her, "Rebecca's friend, come on Marlene, you're distracted and I can see the intense redness in your face!" She exclaimed, "Can we just go back to your place?" She slipped on her jacket grabbing her purse leaving together.

Eric and Rebecca walked along the beach and then back up the sandy path to the cottage, "This is nice," He viewed as they stepped up on the porch, "I bought it for Marlene," She opened a bottle of wine pouring them each a glass they sat on the sofa, "So does she live here?" He asked, Rebecca chuckled, "Not hardly and she wasn't pleased when I sprang it on her," She remarked, "I'm sorry in a way but not in other ways, I miss you Rebecca please come home," He begged his hands finding the sides of her face, "I can't Eric," She removed his hands from her face, "Think about it Rebecca, we could be so happy together," He winced, "I know how hard this has been for you Eric," He placed his fingers to her lips, "Don't say another word," He leaned forward kissing her she relaxed letting him take her in his arms they kissed again this time he lifted her up by the hand and took her into the bedroom, they had sex, Rebecca felt remorseful and guilty, "I love you," He traced her side with the tip of his finger she groaned not facing him.


	42. Chapter 42

**CHAPTER XLIII (42)**

 **Heart of glass**

"That was a little childish Marlene," Tracey argued as they entered her cottage, "Your not being fair Tracey," She wheeled her around to face her, "I think you still have feelings for her you're just having difficulty admitting it," Marlene sighed letting go of her, "I like being with you, really I do Tracey," She tried to reason with her, "You really hid behind the curtain and spied on them?" She asked crossing her arms and staring continuously at her. Marlene looked away, "I, I just wanted to know," She replied honestly, "Know what? You told me it was over that what you felt for her had passed, I don't understand," She resounded looking for an answer, "I, its difficult," She hesitated in a stutter, "Seeing her with someone else, I just wanted her to go," Marlene grimaced resting against the chair she tapped her forehead with the palm of her hand, "I did talk to her," Tracey voiced clearing her throat, "What do you mean?" Marlene became curious, "I asked her about her intentions," She stated, Marlene could tell she was uncertain, "And so what did she say?" Tracey lowered her head, "She said you would never love anyone but her," Marlene quivered inside at the words she mournfully spoke, "Is it true? I told you before I felt you weren't really over her and I've stepped away from you because of it," She clarified, "Tracey I didn't know she would show up to New Port," Marlene implored, "There's always been a doubt in the back of your mind Marlene," She interjected giving Marlene pause. "It's late," Tracey, continued "And I have call, I think you need to clear your head," She sent Marlene out. Marlene stood on the porch her head rested against the door until the lights went out she climbed in her car and sat there in thought it was time to pay Rebecca a visit.

"Would you like more wine?" Rebecca climbed from the bed throwing her robe of her nude body, "Yes," Eric sat up in the bed she moved to the kitchen when she heard a slight rap to the door she looked around and then quietly opened the door to Marlene standing there, "Marlene what are you dong here?" She whispered not letting her in, "I, we need to talk," She craned her neck looking over Rebecca's shoulder she scanned the dimly lit room for any whereabouts of Eric, "I can't, I'm busy," She ordered tightening the sash on her robe, Marlene looked down to see that through her robe Rebecca was nude, "Did you sleep with him?" Her voice cracked as she asked, Rebecca cocked her head back, "What does it matter to you?" She snapped back, "Rebecca," Eric's voice called from the bedroom, "I'll be there in a minute," She spoke back to him she clutched Marlene by the arm and pushed her out to the porch, "Why are you here?" Marlene's jaw was tight with stress, "Because we need to talk," She argued, "There is nothing left to talk about you've made yourself perfectly clear, you don't want me and I told you I would be leaving for New York in a few days," She confirmed. Marlene began to weep, "Tracey's angry with me, I need to clear my conscience," She started to say, Rebecca cut in, "I thought your conscience was clear, I mean you want to start a life with Tracey and she makes you happy," She grumbled. "I, are you in love with him?" She suddenly demanded stumbling over her words. "I can't answer that," She insisted, "You need to go, go home Marlene you're a mess and you need to clear your head and decide exactly what it is you want," She huffed walking back inside leaving Marlene in disarray.

Grace answered Marlene's text, "Yes I have coffee," She prepared herself for the fallout she knew Marlene would be experiencing she sat out a mug and thought of the evening before and how it was marred by Marlene's anger and jealousy. Grace shook her head in disbelief her best friend's world was now hanging in the balance, "Hey," Marlene slowly opened the door they embraced, "It will be alright," Grace patted her on the back and then poured her some coffee, they sat out on the porch, "You don't look good," Grace began, "I don't exactly feel good either," She pondered thinking of how she made a mess of things, "Tracey sent me away she's angry and can't believe I would spy on Rebecca," She shifted an eye to Grace, "It was childish Marlene," She inserted, "I just," She stopped talking shaking her head, "You have to get a grip Marlene, you can't have things both ways and you must decide who it is you really want, yes one of them will be hurt and it won't be easy for either of you but your playing with fire and you're going to get burned," She advised rationally. "I just feel Rebecca will want me to return to Düsseldorf to live a life I won't be happy with," Marlene explained, "If your in love what's there to be unhappy about?" Grace groaned in question. "I don't want to be stuck in a rut that I can't get out of Grace, Tracey is new and exciting and simple, no family complications with business or money issues," She remarked, "Then its obvious you've made your choice, you should tell Rebecca what you feel and make a clean break of it so she can move on," Marlene lowered her shoulders, "Your right I need to tell her, she said something about going to New York soon, we should talk," Grace stood up walking to the end of the porch, "I think you're making a mistake," Grace murmured staring out over the calmness of the sea.

Rebecca rustled herself out from under the covers she slipped on her robe looking around for Eric, "There you are," She yawned and stretched he handed her a cup of hot coffee, "Thanks," She slightly smiled, "I have to go to Boston, I had a message from our editor, wants me to do a story on a new and upcoming fashion house there," He winced taking Rebecca in his arms, "We didn't really have much of a chance to talk last night, do you know what your going to do?" He asked, "Rest a few days and then I'm going to head to New York, my apartment is free and I thought I'd visit a few friends and see if the spot on Stanton Street is available," She responded, "Oh," He bowed is head, "I thought maybe you would reconsider and come back to Düsseldorf," His remark pensive, "Eric, I care a great deal for you and I enjoy being with you," He raised his hand in despair, "But its not the same thing," He said knowing how she felt, "No its not and if your honest with yourself you'll see that I'll always be in love with Marlene and never happy pretending to be with you," She answered a tear traced her cheek. Eric reached his thumb forward wiping it away from her face, "And if you think about it Eric, you would always have a doubt about me in the back of your mind, it would only cause pain, heartbreak and jealousy," She assured him with reason, "You're right, I wouldn't be happy, I just hoped you would have a change of heart, I had to try," He attempted a smile, "I'm very sorry," She versed, "But you know now the reasons I'm here and I won't give up, Marlene will come around sooner or later, I just have to wait her out," Eric nodded in understanding, "Thank you for last night," He mentioned walking back to the bedroom to dress, "We both needed it to realize what's really best for the both of us," She spoke realistically.

"Rebecca, I will always love you, what we shared how I felt about you, our time together," She felt at ease, "I won't forget you ever, you've been a great friend," She reminded him, "I'll call you a cab," She dialed her phone. Rebecca watched as he buttoned his shirt up she walked him to the door, "Your cab is here," She mentioned he sweetly kissed her lips, "Goodbye Rebecca," He left not looking back she stood out on the porch watching as the cab went out of sight. Rebecca text Marlene asking to talk, arrangements, were made. Rebecca showered dressing casually and awaited her arrival. Marlene nervously drove up to the cottage anxiously rehearsing what she would say to Rebecca she existed the car knocking on the door. Rebecca opened it, "Please come in," She followed her in, "Is your boyfriend gone?" Marlene quizzed, "Yes he's left," She sat down on the sofa Marlene sat beside her, "Last night," Rebecca started to talk, "I'm sorry it was rude and out of place," She lowered her head clasping her hands together, "Why did you come?" Rebecca further asked, "I just wanted to know who he was and what he was to you," She spoke honestly, "He's a friend and that's all there's nothing between us romantically," She confirmed, "You slept with him Rebecca, what does that say?" She prodded her, "Eric has feelings that I don't or won't ever share, we were both in need last night, for me it was the truth and for him it was an understanding that I will never feel the way he was hoping I would," She stated, "What truth did you need to know?" Marlene inquired, "That no matter what, I love only you and you are the one I want," She answered sincerely.

Marlene stared, "I've thought a lot lately and especially last night and as much as I love you, I just can't go back to the way things were, I'm leery and afraid of not being able to find happiness," She worded, "Marlene, I've changed and I'm feeling as good as I ever have and I know that if I hadn't had my accident we would've reunited," Rebecca begged, "It hurt me badly when I asked you to leave and make a life with me and you refused, turning me down made me realize that you still had major concerns about your family and LCL," Rebecca moaned rolling her eyes, "Have you heard anything I've said? I had to regain my memory and what I had lost," She spoke with angered emotion, Marlene sighed, "I've made a decision," She announced Rebecca became quiet, "Tracey makes me happy Rebecca and I feel deeply for her and I just don't want to hurt her anymore," Rebecca nodded, "But you will hurt her, you will always be nagged and plagued by doubts about me, you can't deny to me or her or anyone else about our love," She frowned as she said the words that made Marlene flinch, "Once your gone I won't have to worry about it," She voiced, "Come on Marlene we both know that's not true," Marlene stood up and began to move towards the door, "Turn around," Rebecca snapped firmly she reached for the doorknob, "Don't walk out this time Marlene, stay, if you leave out that door you'll never hear from me again," She warned her heart pounding widely in anticipation of what she would do, Marlene shook with fear, "Marlene," Rebecca called to her again, "Please don't Rebecca," She held tight to the door.

Rebecca raced to her clutching her and swinging her around to face her closely, "I love you Marlene," Rebecca became serious staring at her and piercing her with her brown eyes, "I can't Rebecca," She tried to tear herself away. Rebecca with all of her strength held her tightly, "If you go, I mean it Marlene," She whispered her lips in close contact with hers they continued to gaze at one another, Marlene could hardly breath the anxiety of it all was about to take her over she slightly buckled at the knees, "Tell me Marlene, tell me your in love with me," She begged in a sexual tone her lips grazing the side of Marlene's arched neck, "No Rebecca," She could hardly get the words out her throat dry, "Please stop," She begged further, Rebecca was relentless she took her hands pinning them to the wall her lips and tongue caressed her neck in gentle kisses she pulled back catching Marlene in a stare of want and desire, "Kiss me," Rebecca sweetly teased, Marlene placed her lips to Rebecca's with a passionate kiss, "I've never wanted anyone the way I want you," She spoke unpinning her hands. Rebecca stepped back from her and awaited Marlene's next move she stayed against the wall not moving Rebecca slowly slipped her shirt off her harden nipples showed through her bra she unzipped her jeans and dropped them to the floor, Marlene stared at her shapely figure her taut abdomen showed a lean and well muscled look her finger found its way to the topline of Rebecca's panties she tugged at it drawing her closer she remained silent unsnapping her bra and tossing it across the room, "Make love to me," Rebecca demanded Marlene encompassed her with her fine mass holding her and caressing her as she kissed and teased her lips with her tongue and teeth. Marlene led Rebecca to the bedroom laying her down and sliding her panties off she looked her over with erotic pleasure.

Rebecca raised her hand up and pulled Marlene down to her, "I love you," She groaned in a heated tongue, Marlene straddled her pressing against her Rebecca locked her legs around Marlene's waist pulling her even closer, "Take your clothes off," She whimpered, Marlene raised up enough for Rebecca to unzip her jeans and pull them off Rebecca unbuttoned her shirt and then her bra they lay naked kissing and touching, "Rebecca," Marlene spoke, "Not now Marlene just let me love you," She whispered touching her face with her hand, Marlene kissed her, her tongue wrapped around Rebecca's. Marlene's lips traced the length of Rebecca's body before entering her void tasting her sweetness until she climaxed out of control twisting and quivering to the rhythm of Marlene's strokes, "Do you know how you make me feel, my god Marlene," She winced catching her breath. Marlene steadied her hands around her waist pulling herself back up to the top of her. Rebecca closed her eyes the brilliant colors that reeled through her mind relaxed her. Marlene and Rebecca laid side by side both listening to one another's breathing, Marlene lay her head across Rebecca's chest the ticking of her heart warmed her, "I love you Rebecca," She snuggled closer, "And I you," She softly spoke her fingers running through the strands of Marlene's hair. Rebecca took her index finger pulling her chin up and placing her lips to Marlene's she rolled over on top of her kissing her wildly and with erotic lust her mouth found its way to her nipples she kissed them taking each of them in between her teeth her tongue encircling them causing Marlene to gasp for air. Rebecca moved slowly down to her lower abdomen caressing it with gentle kisses, Marlene ran her fingertips through Rebecca's hair pulling her into her void, Rebecca's tongue penetrated her with force she wriggled and arched her back to the strokes of Rebecca's tongue shrilling as she came in an explosion for orgasms, "Rebecca," She grimaced moaning and groaning as she did.

They fell asleep in each others arms Rebecca finally awoke thinking she had, had a dream she slightly turned her head to see Marlene settled against her side her head resting in the pit of her arm. Rebecca touched her lips to the top of Marlene's head arousing her. "Hey," Marlene spoke clearing her throat in a whisper, Rebecca stayed quiet enjoying the moment she squeezed Marlene with her hand acknowledging her, "I don't ever want this moment to end," Rebecca addressed, "I love you so deeply and so unconditionally that I'm willing to make any sacrifice necessary to be with you," She stared at the ceiling talking, Marlene raised up her head, "We should talk," Rebecca could her the doubtful tone in her voice, "Ok, talk," She ordered. Marlene sat up facing her Rebecca adjusted herself resting her head against the pillows, "You know I love you, how could I not, you are everything in a woman I could want but I don't want to live in uncertainty Rebecca," She stared a tear forming in the corner of her eye, "When I left all those years ago it was for a better me," She took her finger and pointed to her chest, "I found that, a new life, a career that makes me happy, I love living in this small town and I love the people in it, I'm not much for the glamorous Broadway life anymore, I'm settled and carefree," She admonished with a grin, "I do love you but I don't want to live a life with someone who is moody, driven beyond what's here, self centered," She stopped talking looking at Rebecca who remained calm and quiet. "So what you're saying is that you don't think I'll be happy here that I shouldn't ask for anything in a relationship with you that goes beyond your career or personal needs that we are on two different plains," She rehearsed boldly. "We couldn't make it work before Rebecca and I just don't want or need the pain or heartbreak, there is no doubt that we love each other, that we've proven over and over," She smiled touching her finger to Rebecca's cheek.

"What if I told you I was willing to work through it?" She gazed into her blue eyes, "You won't." Marlene commanded, "How do you know? Haven't you listened to anything I've said? I just told you I was willing to make sacrifices to be with you, I don't want to live apart from you, I love you more than I ever have, what am I suppose to do? Stand on the other side of the gate while you make a happy life with someone else?" Her questioning abrupt and heated, "I just can't see it, us Rebecca," She tried to remain calm as she rationalized the situation, "Did any of this mean a thing to you?" Rebecca asked as her hand ran across the bed, "Sex was never a problem, its passionate, giving and erotic and no I'll never find this kind of love making with anyone else Rebecca," She reassured her. "Then give us another chance Marlene, I want you, Tracey can't make you feel as I do," She stammered as she spoke. Marlene lowered her head hearing Tracey's name made her feel guilty and horrible, "That may be true but we have a connection one that's comfortable and easy and that's what I want," She defined in confidence, Rebecca sat up on the side of the bed, "Are you listening to yourself? There is no Marlene without Rebecca," She stood up turning to face her with her arms crossed.


	43. Chapter 43

**CHAPTER 43**

 **Open my eyes**

"You haven't answered me Marlene," Rebecca resounded, Marlene pulled the sheet up to her bare chest covering it, "Rebecca, I don't want us to continue to hurt each other," She replied "I haven't hurt you this time," She expressed firmly, "You slept with another man," Rebecca felt lost, "What do you mean? I just told you what happened and yes, I know it was a mistake, I was lonely, in need and preoccupied, why are you bringing this up now?" She asked unsure of Marlene's reasoning, "I need to go," She climbed from the bed and began to dress, "Yeah, you do that," Rebecca groaned in anger, "I won't stop you, I just can't continue to play games with you, its too much all these distractions and uncertainties are enough to drive anyone insane," She grumbled loudly, Marlene dressed remaining silent. Rebecca slipped on her robe showing her to the door, "Rebecca," She finally spoke, "Just go Marlene, there's no need to say anything else," She cut her a look of despair she stared briefly her heart sinking to her feet as she turned and walked to the car getting in she pulled out and headed down the rode tears streamed from her eyes her heart broken but she knew in her mind that the decision she made was right she found herself at the doorstep of Tracey's cottage she knocked, Tracey answered letting her in, "I guess you've managed to get yourself into a situation your unsure of," Marlene tossed her purse to the sofa and sat down, "I need to tell you something," She remarked taking in a deep breath, Tracey joined her.

"Ok, what is it," Tracey asked plainly, "I went to see Rebecca this morning," She looked at Tracey with sadness, "And we talked and I told her that I wanted to have a relationship with you," She relayed, Tracey smiled her hand caressing the side of Marlene's jawline, "But there's something else you should know and I'm not sure you can forgive me," Tracey gritted her teeth as she listened, "Go on Marlene," She encouraged her with a smile, "I know it was wrong," She lowered her head finding it hard to get the words out, "Marlene whatever it is I'm sure we can work through it," She pulled her hair back from her face and lifted her chin, "I slept with her Tracey," She swallowed hard, Tracey's shoulders dropped in agonizing despair, "I see," She quickly removed herself from the sofa walking to the window and looking out she wept not talking, "Tracey please try to understand," Marlene walked up behind her laying her hands atop her shoulders, "Why?" She murmured, "I don't know," Marlene was quick to answer, "You don't know?" She pulled away from her, "I had to tell you the truth and I know right now you're angry and uncertain about us but please don't hate me," Marlene begged, "I could never hate you, I just don't understand you, your logic, Rebecca," She winced, "I am as surprised as your are that she even came here and its been difficult," She prompted, "It didn't have to be," Tracey stuttered in continuance, "Difficult that is," She looked to Marlene with an eye of discontent, "Its my fault that I even let it happen," She tried to reason unaware that Tracey wasn't buying it.

Marlene picked up her purse from the sofa, "I'll go, I think you need some time to take in what I've told you," She commanded, Tracey turned back towards her wiping a tear from her eye, "How could you do that to us, didn't what we have mean anything to you?" She quietly questioned, "I don't know if I can ever trust you again and I feel Rebecca will always live in your heart and there will be times that you'll be unsure about me, us and that aching that you have for her will come again and there will be times of sadness and want for her," She advised, "I have to try and move on and I like what we have Tracey," She implored, "You wouldn't have slept with her Marlene," Tracey was matter of fact in her tone. "Yes, I shouldn't have slept with her it was a mistake," She groveled, "Were you so jealous over the man that was with her that you couldn't leave things well enough alone? I mean you spied on them and listened to their private conversation Marlene, it was wrong of you, which brings me back to what you truly are feeling, you love her and there isn't a thing I can do to change your mind," Tracey was abrasive in her tone her voice carried across the room in bitterness, Marlene felt as though she were being picked apart, "Then I guess you don't want to see me?" She questioned with caution, "Marlene, I think your really unsure of your feelings, I know you care for me, I don't doubt that one bit, however as long as Rebecca is here or in the picture I don't want to be weighed down by your indecisions the break from her as to be clean and final," She answered, "I'll see you later," Marlene quickly spoke her voice hoarse the pain she felt in her heart was stabbing.

Rebecca sat in Grace's office going over the notes from the gala event, "I wanted to thank you Rebecca," Grace chirped, "It was my pleasure and you know you can count on me to help whenever you need it," She smiled looking back down to her note pad, "Rebecca," Grace spoke, "Have you spoken to Marlene?" Rebecca looked up at her, "Not in a few days, she doesn't want me Grace and I can't continue to hold out hope she showed up Sunday morning ready to talk, we made love and then she told me she wanted to be with Tracey," Her eyes watered as she relayed what had happened between them, "I'm sorry Rebecca, Marlene is confused, give her some time," She advised, "I'm going to New York tomorrow, I'm going to search myself and make some decisions, I need some time to think if what I want is to be with her, I can't force her to change her feelings about Tracey," Grace took in a deep breath, "I have to agree with you, some time away is probably a good idea, I can tell you she told Tracey about the two of you and they are not seeing each other right now, Marlene felt it was necessary and she's taken these last few days off, go by and see her, tell her what your plans are, it's a start," She smile Rebecca closed her note pad, "Thank you Grace," She picked up her purse and headed out she would pay a visit to Marlene. Rebecca rang the doorbell to Marlene's apartment and patiently awaited her to answer, "Yes who is it?" She asked her voice muffled, "Its me, Rebecca," She slowly opened the door, "Hi," Rebecca spoke first, "Can I come in?" She asked, Marlene motioned with her hand for her to enter, "Are you alright?" She asked, Marlene remained mum, "I'm not much for talking Rebecca," She sounded hoarse, "I'll be leaving for New York tomorrow," She responded, "I just wanted to stop and say goodbye," Marlene stared, "I wish you all the best Rebecca," She replied, "I hope everything works out with you and Tracey," She muttered, Marlene could see the sadness in her face.

"Will you be returning?" She further inquired, "I will, I'll need to sell the cottage and I have a few things left to settle up with Grace," She explained, "How long will you be gone?" Rebecca thought for a moment, "A month maybe," She answered, "I'm sorry about Tracey, I mean Grace told me you told her the truth about us," Marlene flinched her jaw narrowing her eyes, "I had to and I don't know that she'll take me back she was very angry and disappointed but I didn't want to start our life together in a lie, I cheated just like I did when I was married to Mark," She uttered feeling the pain of the hurt she had caused to others, "I'm not sorry for what happened between us, I love you and I know you love me, I just wish we could turn back the hands of time and start over, I would change so many things especially the way I treated you, I want you to know that it was never insignificant to me or in vain and I thank you for what you did give to me, your love," Rebecca wept as she spoke those words touching Marlene's heart, Marlene embraced her holding her tightly she quivered inside her stomach churned, "I think you should go," She pulled back from her, Rebecca's lips found their way to Marlene's mouth she planted a simple but sweet kiss to her lips, "Goodbye Marlene," She turned from her closing the door as she existed Marlene fell to her knees and began to sob uncontrollably she clutched her chest in a effort to control the dull ache she was feeling.

Marlene flipped through the charts at the, nurses station signing off on the assignments she had earlier in the day, "Hey good afternoon," Grace walked up behind her, "Grace," Marlene spoke sharply, "You seem miffed, is everything ok?" She asked, "Just tired," She answered lowering her shoulders, "Did you at least take advantage of the days you had off?" Marlene grimaced sitting the chart down, "If you call self pity and depression a vacation," She tapped her fingernails on the countertop and attempted a grin. "I'm sorry about, Rebecca, Tracey," She looked away from her clearing her throat, "Rebecca came to see me a few days ago she left for New York," Marlene worded, "Yes we talked, I guess its what's best for her," She replied, "Tracey doesn't want anything to do with me right now and I can't say that I blame her, I feel shitty and unworthy and worst of all we work together," She groaned collecting her charts, "How do you feel about things now that you've had some alone time to think?" Marlene breathed in deeply, "I love Rebecca there's no doubt but I can't go through anymore emotional stress with her, Tracey is wonderful and smart but she's very perceptive and astute to what I'm thinking, its almost scary and she's worried, I can tell," Grace touched her sleeve, "Worried about Rebecca?" She quizzed, "Of course she knows how I feel Grace, she knows that Rebecca's an ache I just won't be able to shake," She became emotional. "You have a lot on your plate but my advise is you take some time, relax don't worry about who's in your life, all you need is Marlene," She smiled patting her on the back, "Yeah your right, I'll see you later," She headed back to her office a week's worth of work awaited her. Marlene steadied herself closing out charts and paperwork that laid stacked on her desk, "I see it doesn't do me a bit of good to take off," She whimpered and managed a grin, "Marlene," Tracey voice called from the crack in the door, "May I come in?" Marlene answered her, "Yes please do," In a pleasant voice Tracey entered walking over to the desk remaining passive.

"I was just checking to see how you are," Tracey began, Marlene laid her ink pen down and sat back in her chair, "I tried to enjoy the time I had off but my heart and soul were tormented by the bad decisions I made," She was curt but honest, "And why are you here?" She quizzed in continuance, "I really was worried about you, I should've realized that it wasn't totally your fault that Rebecca was here, that there must be a lot of unfinished business between the two of you," She looked mournful as she stared at Marlene, "Unfinished business?" Marlene goaded, "Rebecca was the love of my life Tracey, I can't make up stories about her to appease you, she's real and not imaginary and you were right she'll always be that ache that hurts me to my inner core but what we had is done and over with and if you want to be in a relationship with me you'll just have to deal with it, I can't go through anymore heartbreaks, I like you a lot but I won't make myself miserable with worry or fear because you have concerns about Rebecca," She versed strongly, "I, I wasn't expecting," Marlene quickly cut her off, "You weren't expecting what? Me, to say those things, think about how I must have felt, Rebecca showing up here wanting me back, she made that decision, I didn't," Tracey leaned against the desk, "It doesn't change the fact that you're still in love with her," She stated loudly, "That may be so Tracey, its hard loving someone like that just to lose them because life is not a bed of roses and people fall in and out of love all the time and they learn to get by," She remarked with a stern tone. "I don't want to argue but it's obvious your still unsure about things," Tracey agonized quietly as she walked back to the door, "I know what I want, do you?" Marlene added, Tracey opened the door not looking back at her she left leaving Marlene to feel she hadn't accomplished anything with her.

"Grace what should I bring tomorrow?" Marlene questioned following her down the hall, "A bottle of wine and could you stop by the bakery and pick up a couple of French loaves," Marlene smiled, "You look like your feeling better," Grace mused, "I am, Tracey came to see me one day last week, we talked and I think she will come around, I just have to give her time," Grace groaned, "Heard anything from Rebecca?" Marlene sighed, "I haven't, I didn't expect she would contact me and I think I made myself very clear that we couldn't see each other anymore," Marlene became stoic, "She text me a few days ago to let me know that she got to New York alright," Marlene nodded her head, "I don't want to talk about her, I just want to have a relaxing cookout tomorrow, enjoy some wine and my friends," She tapped Grace's shoulder, "I did invite Tracey, not sure she'll come but, I asked her anyway," Grace mentioned in conversation. "I'm glad you did, I'm hoping in a, not so stressful situation she'll want to talk," Marlene relayed. "Well I have patients to finish up this evening, "I'll see you tomorrow afternoon," They parted ways, Grace watched Marlene with caution, "Grace," Tracey spoke startling her, "Tracey, hey did you decide on my invitation for tomorrow?" Tracey leaned against the wall, "I have will Marlene be there?" She asked, "She will but please don't let that keep you away," She answered firmly, "I'll be there, Marlene or not," She softly spoke.

David sat to the outdoor table as their guest began to arrive, "Marlene come in," Grace opened the door helping her with the loaves of bread, "David," He met her kissing her cheek, "Marlene come out on the porch, let me fix you a drink," He picked up a wine glass and poured her some, "Thank you," She took it from him, she and Grace walked out to the beach. Tracey sat on a blanket in the sand, Grace nodded pushing Marlene towards her, "Go on, talk," She whispered sweetly Marlene obliged, "Hey," She stood in front of Tracey she looked up at her the sun beamed in her face, "Why don't you join me," She patted the blanket, Marlene grinned and sat next to her, Grace quietly slipped away from them, "It's a beautiful afternoon," She began to talk, "It is that," Marlene agreed in word, "You've been busy," Tracey inserted, "I have, taking off leaves me with tons of paperwork and new patients awaiting my return," She chuckled, Tracey nudged her with her fist, "I know lately things haven't been the best for us but if you are, I'm willing to work on a compromise," Tracey expressed, Marlene cocked her head towards her, "What did you have in mind?" She asked with curiosity. Tracey drew her knees up under chin, "What if we start over, like we never had a date before and do just that, date," Marlene thought briefly, "It will be hard to forget the times we've already spent together Tracey," She was honest but sincere, "True, I don't want to forget those times but if we could work on just dating for awhile," Marlene grasped her arm they laughed. "I think it's a good idea and I'm willing to try," She remarked they put their heads together and shared a kiss.

"We should get back up to the party, I don't want to be rude," Tracey began to get up, Marlene took her hand and pulled her back down to the blanket, "This is our first date and I think if we're a little late they will understand," She replied. Marlene stared into Tracey's eyes the wind blew the strands of Tracey's hair around her face Marlene pulled it away softly caressing the side of her face and as she did, "Your beautiful," She whispered, Tracey kissed her and then gazed at her, "It's a start," She murmured, Marlene felt her heart pound listening to her speak, "I wonder what David's grilling," She quickly changed the subject getting up, Tracey followed they chased each other around the beach holding and tickling each other, "I love you Marlene," Tracey blurted catching her off guard she stopped and pulled Tracey to her not saying a word she kissed her tenderly they embraced the waves licked at their feet, "Come on," Marlene pulled her by the hand, "I'm hungry," She remarked as they navigated the sandy pathway back up to the cottage.


	44. Chapter 44

**CHAPTER 44**

 **I couldn't lose you**

"Hey, heading out early today?" Marlene asked Grace catching her walking out the door, "Uh, yes, I'm picking Rebecca up at the airport," Marlene stared at her slipping her hands into the pockets of her lab coat, "Oh, so she's decided to come back?" Marlene quizzed, "Yes," Grace answered rummaging through her purse in search of her keys, "I need to go I don't want to be late," She left Marlene standing there watching her hurry to her car, "Hello," Tracey slowly moved up behind her, her hands touching the top of her shoulders, "Dinner tonight?" She asked, Marlene silently watched as Grace drove away, "Uh? What did you say?" She seemed distant to Tracey, "I'm sorry, I was lost in thought," She turned around to face her, "So dinner tonight?" She repeated herself, "Sure, sure, what time?" She tried to act normally Tracey frowned, "Are you alright?" She asked, "No, I mean I'm fine," Her heart ticked thinking of Rebecca. "So what did you have in mind?" Marlene asked looking around the lobby and then kissing Tracey on the lips, "I thought I would make a clam chowder," She replied grasping the lapel of Marlene's lab coat, "Hmmm, I guess I'll see you a little later then," She smiled and chuckled, "Say six?" Tracey mused, "Six it is, I have some things to finish up in my office," She reminded her, "I'll be by later," She headed back to her office her thoughts on Rebecca it had been over a month since their encounter and she didn't feel like bringing her up in front of Tracey.

"There you are," Grace strolled up to Rebecca as she waited in front of the doors of the airport, "Hey Grace, thank you," She smiled but Grace could tell something wasn't quite right, "Rebecca," She started helping her pick up her luggage, Rebecca began to cough, "You don't sound good," She could see the clamminess on her skin, "I've had a nagging cough for the last few days, I'll be fine," They made their way to the car, "How was New York?" She asked starting the car, "Wonderful, the little shop I found on Stanton Street was available so I rented it, I cleared out my apartment and have readied it for my move there," She answered coughing again, "I don't like the way that cough sounds Rebecca, I think David should check you out," She voiced with concern, "Tomorrow, I just need a good nights sleep, nothing a little ocean air won't clear up," She was adamant, Rebecca cocked her eye to Grace she felt terrible she began to sweat her skin felt cold but her body hot, "I came by and opened up the cottage," She smiled as they got out and began to unload her luggage, "Go on in and I'll get the last suitcase," She ordered shooing her inside she closed the trunk walking up onto the porch and opening the door, "Well how are things?" Grace questioned but there wasn't an answer, "Rebecca," She called out from the door but again there wasn't an answer. Grace sat the suitcase down walking past the kitchen where she found Rebecca laying on the floor and unresponsive, "Rebecca!" Grace shrilled shaking her she fetched her cell phone from her jacket pocket and called 911 she rolled Rebecca over and could see she was sweating profusely as the ambulance pulled up, "Hello," The EMT called out Grace let them in taking them into the living room.

"I'll meet you at New Port memorial, I've called my husband and he's standing by she followed them in her car. Grace sat in the waiting room of the ER contemplating on whether or not to call Marlene she text her, "Excuse me Tracey," Marlene fished her phone from her purse, "Oh its Grace and she has an emergency, let me call her," She stood up from the sofa and stepped outside, "Grace is everything ok?" She felt a strangeness in Grace's voice, "No its not Marlene, its Rebecca, we are in the ER and," Marlene felt sick, "What's wrong Grace?" She became stern in her tone, "I found her passed out and unresponsive when I brought her to the cottage," She answered with a tremble in her voice, "I'll be there shortly," She hung up, "I need to go, I'll call you later," Marlene grabbed her purse and sweater, "What's going on Marlene?" Tracey begged, "As soon as I know I'll call you," She quickly kissed her cheek leaving out and hurrying to the hospital, Grace set there tapping her foot in nervousness, "Grace," Marlene gazed at her unknowing of what was happening, "Marlene, thank you for coming," She sat beside her, "I'm waiting for David to come out," She lowered her face into the palms of her hands, "What happened?" Marlene's tone was bleak, "When I picked Rebecca up at the airport I noticed she looked washed out, she has a terrible cough and she was sweaty and clammy," Grace rehearsed, "Go on," Marlene prodded with fear, "We were unloading her luggage she went in ahead of me and I followed shortly after that's when I found her on the floor unresponsive," She could hear the fright in her voice, Marlene stood up bowing her head she swallowed hard and awaited David to come out of the room.

The minutes seemed like hours as Marlene paced back and forth finally David emerged the look on his face gray and sullen, Marlene rushed to his side as did Grace, "It's a good thing you were there," He eyed Grace telling her, "We're ready to move her to the ICU unit," Marlene's heart sunk she wanted to cry but kept a brave face, "What did you find out?" Grace was afraid to ask but did, "She has a bad case of pneumonia in the left lung, the right showed some congestion, its bad and the next forty eight hours will be the most critical, we've done chest x-rays, blood work and the culture will go out in the morning," He answered crossing his arms, "We have her on pure oxygen and she's still unconscious, she's needs support, while she's young and strong its still very critical," He warned firmly, "David can I be with her?" Marlene begged he could see the sadness in her eyes, "If you want, you could coax her, talk to her and it wouldn't hurt to show some care, I'll arrange with ICU for you to be there," He managed a smile. Marlene followed him down to the ICU unit she looked at Rebecca through the glass window as she attempted to compose herself, "You can go in now," The nurse told her, "Her heartbeat is strong and there is some grimacing but that's to be expected," She rehearsed, "Thank you," She slowly turned the handle to the door entering she put her hand to her mouth as she looked at the life lines that were connected to Rebecca she moved closer her hand touching Rebecca's she could feel the coldness as she gripped it tightly. "Rebecca," Marlene whispered but there wasn't any response she called her name again a tear fell from her eye as she stared at the blank look on her face.

The nurse entered pulling up a chair to the side of the bed, "Sit," She kindly ordered and sat a container with compresses on the tray, "She's sweating a lot wiping her face, forehead and upper chest will help to keep her dry," The nurse smiled, Marlene could barely get a word out from being overwhelmed, "Will you be here?" She questioned her, "I will be for the next eight hours, if you need anything," She replied tapping her shoulder, "Rebecca," Marlene whispered closer to her ear she caressed the side of her arm with the back of her hand, there was some movement from her, low groans and raspy breathing. Marlene picked up a compress and began wiping the sweat that trickled down her forehead she gently touched her lips wiping them dry, "I love you so much," She wept staring at her lifeless and cold body. The hours passed slowly without much response from Rebecca. Marlene laid back in the chair drifting in and out of sleep, Grace slowly opened the door, "Hey," She whispered, "I brought you some coffee," She handed it to her, "Thank you," She sipped it, "I, I don't know," Marlene shook her head, "Any response from her?" Grace asked rubbing her shoulder, "No," She wept again, "Grace, I can't lose her, I just can't, all we've been through," She sniffed, "She has a tough road ahead of her Marlene, she's very sick, I know I don't need to tell you just how dangerous this can be," She warned, "I've been wrong if she were to die I couldn't live, not without her," She looked back to her and could see a tear streaming down the side of her face. Marlene wiped it away and stroked her forehead, "Please wake up," She quietly pleaded, "I'll leave you now and I'll check on you after while," She assured her, Marlene nodded picking up the compress and wiping her face again.

Grace walked out into the hall David awaited her, "How's Marlene?" He questioned embracing her, "Distraught," She answered, "I expected that," He smiled taking Grace by the hand, "What are you thinking?" She inquired looking at his expression, "Its going to be hard and this isn't something Rebecca will get over all of the sudden, Marlene needs to know that, with the antibiotics we're giving and the other medications, I hope for a full recovery," Grace relaxed her shoulders, "Well that's something positive but I know its touch and go and so does Marlene," She wrapped her arm within his, "Let me take you home," He smiled pinching her cheek, "Let Marlene have her time with Rebecca and I'll come back a little later and check on her," He added, "I think I'll go by the apartment and pickup Marlene some clean clothes and her things," David chuckled, "Good idea, she'll need them, I'm betting she won't leave Rebecca for very long," They walked to the car and headed for home. Marlene retrieved a clean compress from the container and began wiping Rebecca's face again she could see her grimace through her ghostly expression, "I remember the first time we kissed," She started to talk, "That silly spin the bottle game," She chuckled, "I had never been kissed like that before in my life," She hesitated for a second, "I knew then I was in love with you," She wiped the tears from her eyes sitting back down. Marlene began to doze off when her text chimed it was Tracey, "What's up, any news?" It read she sighed thinking of how to answer her, "It's late we will talk tomorrow," She text her back and then turned off her phone.

Rebecca began to tremble and move her arms, "Marlene," She winced not opening her eyes her head turned back and forth slightly, "Marlene," She groaned loudly waking Marlene, "Rebecca!" She mildly exclaimed but Rebecca laid motionless, "Please Rebecca open your eyes," She caressed the side of her face her finger tips brushing away the tiny beads of sweat she bent down and kissed her forehead, "Please come back to me," She whimpered pulling the chair closer and laying her head next to Rebecca. "Marlene," The slight shaking of her arm awoke her she jumped up and looked at a sleeping Rebecca, "Grace," She tried to focus her eyes, "What time is it?" Grace sat her bag down, "Seven and they need to get in here and run some tests, I brought you some clothes and toiletries," She pointed to the bag next to the door, "Go on to the doctors locker room and shower," She whisked her out of the room allowing the nurses to come in Grace followed her, "I told Tracey this morning, I hope you don't mind," Marlene shrugged her shoulders sighing, "She text me and I was very short with my return message and I turned my phone off," She grumbled, "You need to tell her the truth Marlene," They walked in the doctors locker room, "Tell her what? That I'm in love with Rebecca? It think she already knows that, we are trying to work through our problems and now this," She slung her arms up in the air in disbelief, "Go clean up, I'll get you some coffee," She left out of the locker room Marlene quickly showered and dressed, "Oh Tracey," Marlene was startled by her as she exited the locker room she bent forward and gave Marlene a kiss, "I heard," She seemed sad, "Yes, I should have called you, she's in serious condition and I didn't want to leave her," Tracey crossed her arms, "I can understand she doesn't know anyone else here and I wouldn't want to be alone," She surmised walking along side of Marlene and following her back down to the ICU unit. "Thank you for understanding," Marlene answered, "I'll check on you a little later, I have tons of paperwork to finish," She kissed her cheek, "I love you," She spoke with a smile.

Marlene sat there waiting for the nurses to complete their tasks, David walked out viewing Rebecca's chart he looked up and saw Marlene sitting there, "Good morning," He sat by her, "How is she really? David," She asked preparing for the worst, "Its bad but her breathing is much better this morning than last night," He told her honestly, "Thank god for Grace," She murmured, "Yes things could have been dire had she not been there," Marlene shook her head, "I don't understand," She remarked, "It can happen to any one of us, she's young and strong," He replied continuing, "She could've picked it up anywhere, who knows," Marlene looked to him for assurance, "She's been doing so well, I mean her lifestyle is healthy," She slapped her hand to her knee, "Marlene, sometimes when people go through a major trauma in their life it can take its toll, yes she strong as I said but the immune system can be very difficult, I'll have an idea by this afternoon if the antibiotic we're giving her is effective," He answered and touched her shoulder, "The nurses are through go on back in there with her," He smiled easing her tensions. Marlene hurried back to Rebecca's side she found a fresh container of compresses and began to wipe her forehead, "Good morning," She smiled talking quietly to her, "I need for you to get better there are many dresses you need to design and sew," Her lips touched her cheek in a sweet kiss but Rebecca remained unresponsive. Marlene fetched her cellphone from her purse and called Tristan explaining the situation, "Yes I'll call the minute she awakens," She reassured him, "Yes, I promise," She answered him again they hung up she walked back up to the bedside, "That was Tristan," She mumbled and could feel the pain of unknowing in her throat she tried to swallow but slightly choked. Rebecca began to move her body wriggled slightly she opened her eyes slowly, "Where am I?" Her voice rattled, Marlene clutched her hand, "Rebecca its me," She pushed the button to call the nurse, "Marlene," She whispered a tear fell from Marlene's eye.

The nurse quickly entered, Marlene called David, "She's awake," She shrilled in excitement, "I'll be there shortly," He responded, "Your in the hospital," Marlene worded, Rebecca's look was strange she felt incoherent, "Hospital," She stated her eyes sagged, "Yes," She answered, David came in, "Can you excuse us?" He asked, "Rebecca, I'll be right outside," She promised her. Marlene made her way to the waiting area Grace joined her, "So she's awake that's good to hear," Marlene frowned, "She's very ill and I can't or won't leave her side Grace, I have patients but right now," Grace quickly interjected, "I've reassigned them for now Marlene, I know how important it is for you to be here," Marlene groaned and then grinned, "You're the best friend anyone could have Grace Brandon," She atoned, David exited the ICU area, "Seems the antibiotics are working her fever has broke but we still have a ways to go," He appeared relieved, "Marlene, she's asking for you," Marlene hugged him, "Thank you David," She hurried back inside Rebecca's room, "Hey," She smiled, "Hi," Rebecca answered swallowing hard, "They told you?" She asked Rebecca, she nodded not wanting to talk much, "Thank you for being here," She finally managed to get the words out. Marlene moved her face closer to hers, "I wouldn't be anywhere else but here, I want you to know that," Her finger brushed her chin. "What are friends for," Rebecca whispered, Marlene smiled staring cautiously, "I love you," She answered Rebecca grinned closing her eyes. "You get some rest, I'll check on you in a bit," She placed her lips to her forehead. Rebecca drifted off to sleep.

Marlene met Tracey in the cafeteria they sat down to lunch, "Viral pneumonia, hmmm, she might have picked it up in New York," Tracey surmised biting into her salad, "You look tired Marlene, why don't you let me cook for you tonight, a hot meal would do you some good," Marlene sipped her tea, "I will see how she's doing," She answered, Tracey sat her fork down, "I know your worried but she's in good hands Marlene," Her hand touched the side of Marlene's face as she spoke, "She doesn't have anyone else here Tracey and I promised her brother I'd call when she awoke," Her look stern as she replied, "Ok, well you can let me know, I thought a little alone time tonight would be good," Tracey mentioned finishing her salad, "Call me," She stood up leaving Marlene alone at the table. Marlene pondered how she was going to tell Tracey her real feelings about Rebecca.


	45. Chapter 45

**CHAPTER 45**

 **Confrontations**

"You look better today," Marlene walked in ruffling the covers around Rebecca, "David said I might be able to get the oxygen tube off today," Her voice sounded much better, "Hungry?" She nodded, "I could go to the cafeteria and get you some soup," Rebecca reached her hand out, "Later, sit by me," Marlene extended her hand to her, "I'm glad your feeling better," She remarked, "The last few days have been tough, I'd like a shower but the nurses nixed that," She giggled her chest still sounded a little raspy, "You may have to wait awhile longer," She added taking her fingers and pushing Rebecca's bangs back to the side. "The other day, you said," Rebecca hesitated briefly, "You said you loved me," Marlene stared at her, "Its true, I do love you," She answered, "What about Tracey?" Rebecca further questioned, "What about her?" Marlene probed in question, "Do you still have feelings for her?" Marlene sighed, "Now's not the time to talk about this, you need to focus on getting better," She voiced, "Well I'm ready to get out of here," She resounded frankly, "Not so fast," Marlene ordered, "You will be here a few more days and then you will need plenty of rest at home, no stress or strain," She reminded her, "I guess I should think about hiring a nurse to stay with me until I get better," She smiled feeling Marlene out, "That's an option but wait and see," She responded. "I have patients to see this morning, I'll see you a little later, I'll bring you back some, soup," She spoke patting the top of Rebecca's hand, "I love you Marlene," She became serious, "I know," She waved her hand closing the door.

Marlene handed the last of her charts to the nurse, "I'll pick these up this evening," Tracey walked up to her, "Lunch?" She asked with a smile her hand finding its way to Marlene's waist squeezing her gently, "Uh sure," They strolled slowly to the cafeteria, "Rebecca feeling better?" She quizzed, "Yes, I checked her this morning," She answered, "Does she know what she's going to do when she gets out of the hospital?" Marlene shifted an eye to her, "She's talked about hiring a nurse to stay with her until she's fully recovered," Tracey breathed a sigh of relief, "I think that's a good idea," They sat down to a table, "Marlene," She continued, "You need to tell her the truth about us, I know now is a difficult time for her and you but she needs a clean break so she can move on," She broached the subject, Marlene felt the pit of her stomach knot she wrapped the sandwich she was eating back up, "Hey are you alright? You look a little flushed," Tracey grasped her hand lightly shaking it, "Uh, no, no I'm fine, Rebecca has asked me to bring her some soup," She gave a half grin, "Ok," Tracey's eyes followed her to the serving line she knew something was up with her but couldn't quite pinpoint it, "I'll take this," She told Tracey as she returned to back to the table, "Ok, think about what I just said and I'll see you later," She parted from her returning to Rebecca's room, "Soup is served," She pulled the tray up close to her and opened the lid, "Good and hot," She handed her the spoon, Rebecca slowly sipped it. "Marlene," Rebecca looked sad, "Yes, what is it?" She furrowed her brow, "I think we should talk about us," She began, "Rebecca, it's not the right time, I'm more concerned about your health than anything else right now," She expressed.

Rebecca finished her soup, "I'm tired now, do you mind," Marlene took the hint, "I'll check in on you before I leave this evening," Marlene left her pausing in the hall and watching her through the window, "I love you Rebecca," She wanted to cry but held back the tears, "Hello," Grace caught Marlene off guard she looked at her strangely, "I feel just terrible," Marlene leaned against the wall, Grace stood along side her, "Tracey thinks I should tell Rebecca the truth about she and I, I don't know what to do Grace," She crossed her arms bowing her head, "You know your in love with Rebecca and I believe in my heart she's the one you were always meant to be with, what? She wants Rebecca to move on?" She surmised, "Precisely that's what she wants," Grace nodded, "Makes sense but you're going to have to let her down Marlene and you should do it now before things get any deeper, Rebecca won't stay around forever especially if she thinks your leading her on until she gets better and its not fair to either of them, make a decision and be happy, you deserve it," She advised, "I have work to finish, I support what ever decision you make just be sure it's the right one," Her smile enchanted Marlene she always made her feel calm. Marlene walked back to her office feeling glum she knew in her mind that Tracey would be devastated at her news she needed a plan the right time to tell her that she wanted a life with Rebecca.

David entered Rebecca's room he listened to her heart and lungs and then checked her chart, "You're doing so much better today," He spoke pressing the glands in her neck with the tips of his fingers, "When do you think I'll get to go home?" She asked her tone was filled with excitement, "Soon," His demeanor changed, "There's something else, I waited to tell you because of the choices we had to make to treat you and save your life," Rebecca pursed her lips bracing herself for something she wasn't sure she wanted to hear, 'What is it David?" She urged him on, "When we did the blood work and cultures on you it was discovered that you are pregnant," Rebecca frowned, "What! Pregnant, are you sure?" She exclaimed in her questioning, "Yes, however there are no guarantees that your pregnancy will survive this, I'm concerned with the high powered antibiotics we gave you, it might have caused an issue to the fetus, I've asked Dr. Raines to review your case and look over the lab work, I think its best that you see her once you've been released from here and that way you can make a decision about what you want to do," Rebecca rubbed her eyes and face in shock, "Please don't tell Marlene," David smiled at her, "Doctor patient privilege, only you can tell her," He assured her, "The nurses will be in, in a few to clean you up, I just hope everything turns out alright," He added picking up her chart and leaving the room. "Pregnant," Rebecca whispered rubbing her abdomen, "My god," She winced closing her eyes the turmoil she encountered rushed through her in a uncertain way she would need to tell Marlene.

Marlene filed the last of her paperwork slipping off her lab coat and hanging it up there was a knock at her office door, "Come in," Tracey entered, "Hey," She tenderly touched Marlene's lips with hers, "I've got tickets to that band we liked at the Whaling house," She fetched them from her pocket showing them to her, "Oh, I'm not sure I'm much in the mood for live entertainment tonight," Tracey gave her a cutting look, "Rebecca has plenty of people to take care of her Marlene, you don't have to stay every evening and you need to tell her about us, I suggest you do it soon before things get out of hand," She slid the tickets back down in her pocket in disappointment and left her office in an angered huff. Marlene leaned against the door she raised her hand to her forehead, "What will I do," She asked herself as she bit her lip. Marlene slowly walked the hallway down to the ICU unit, "Good evening," She opened the door, "I hear they will move you to your own room tomorrow," She smiled, "Yeah the nurse just told me," She attempted a grin, "I want to go back to the cottage, really, I think I'll do better there," She expressed in a wishful tone, "Be patient, they just have to make sure your well," Marlene replied, "We need to talk," Marlene began she moved closer to the bed, "Ok, I guess this is where you tell me, thanks but no thanks and that you and Tracey are happy," Marlene place her hand over Rebecca's mouth, "Could you please let me talk," Her mood now serious, "Tracey is right," She removed her hand from her mouth, Rebecca remained quiet and listened, "She and I have a wonderful relationship and she has pressured me to tell you the truth, that she and I are very happy together and that we plan to start a life," She rehearsed causing Rebecca to sigh deeply as undesirable anguish crept up on her, "I see and I can understand, you've told me you wanted to live a simple life, one not cluttered with doubts and fears, true, I am self centered and," Marlene smiled, "And everything I could want in someone I love," She interjected, "What are you saying?" Rebecca pulled herself upright in the bed, "That I'm in love with you Rebecca," She smiled sitting up on the bed with her.

"What did you just say?" Rebecca asked in surprise, "You heard me," She echoed, "I know but I want to hear it again," She smiled widely, "I'm in love with you Rebecca Von Lahnstein," They giggled noses touching together but the stark reality of Rebecca's pregnancy began to tear at her, "Are you alright, you look as though you've seen a ghost," She placed her hand to her forehead, Rebecca groaned, "Just the excitement of it all," She answered keeping the pregnancy quiet. "Well your not running a fever," She replied, "It will take a little time for me to break the news to Tracey, please don't say anything to her, she'll be devastated and heart broken as it is but I need to handle it in my own good time," She traced the bridge of Rebecca's nose with the tip of her finger as she relayed. "It's not my place Marlene, what is between the two of you and I know it won't be easy she loves you and I know you love her," Marlene picked up Rebecca's hand holding it in hers, "I could've very easily fallen in love with her," She grinned thinking about her, "She's a smart and fantastic person but she's not you, I do love her but I'm not in love with her," She lowered her head, "It will be a painful break but I have to plan out how I'm going to tell her," Rebecca extended her hand behind Marlene's head pulling her face closer to hers they gazed deeply into one another's eyes, "I love you Marlene don't ever forget that, no matter what I will never love anyone but you," She sweetly kissed her lips, "I should go, Tracey has tickets to a concert at the Whaling house tonight and she's already angry because I wanted to stay with you," Marlene sighed getting up from the bed, "Go, relax and try to have fun," Rebecca ordered.

Marlene returned to her office and entered she text Tracey of her whereabouts, "ER finishing up my last patient, are you going with me tonight?" She asked, "Yes, meet you in the lobby in a few," She responded sending it with some hesitation. Marlene grabbed her purse and jacket and headed for the lobby, "Grace," She called out, "Good evening," She stopped short of the door, "How's Rebecca this evening, I hear she'll be moved to a room tomorrow," She noted, "Uh she's fine but definitely ready to get out of here," Marlene answered in a snicker, "Where are you headed tonight?" Grace further inquired, "Tracey has tickets to that concert at the whaling house tonight," She firmly answered, "Made a decision yet?" She arched her brow awaiting an answer, Marlene looked around before telling her, "I have," She voiced calmly, "And," Grace moved closer to her, "I've told Rebecca that I want to be with her," She whispered continuing, "I have to tell Tracey so this is the beginning of finding out how I'm going to handle things," Grace smiled, "I think you've made the right decision Marlene, Tracey is a wonderful woman and I could see you with her if Rebecca wasn't in the picture but if you think about it, its always been about her and never anyone else you two have been destined to be together," She pinched her cheek, "I'm happy for you but you should prepare for the fallout with Tracey," She remarked, "David is waiting for me in the parking lot, I'll see you tomorrow," She left her, "Hey," Tracey walked up behind Marlene startling her, "Hey," Her tone somber, "I'm glad you changed your mind, I apologize for being rude earlier, I know your worried about Rebecca," She stated as they walked out of the hospital together. The drive over to the Whaling house was eerily quiet neither talking much to one another Marlene's thoughts were on Rebecca and how to tell Tracey the truth.

"Table for two," Tracey told the waiter as she handed him the tickets they were seated, "Wine?" She asked, "Yes please," Marlene said, "Busy day today the ER was flooded with cut feet and drunks," Tracey giggled, "The summer is about over, winter will be upon us before you know it," Marlene answered, "Marlene, I have a question to ask you," She started to talk seriously, "We haven't really discussed this but I think its time we move in together," Marlene could barely swallow listening to Tracey's confession, "I, I'm not sure I'm ready to move in," She clamored, "Why not? It would be perfect the cottage is a clean slate for you to make it your own," She grasped her hand caressing it, "Tracey you've already decorated it how you like it, its yours and I'm not really ready to make that move," She answered with uneasiness, "We love each other Marlene and we want to be together don't you think your being silly?" She asked, "Nonsense Tracey, I have to think about it, living together is a big step," She tried to reason with her, "If two people are in love living together shouldn't be a big deal breaker, I don't understand," She relayed sadly, Tracey please, I'm not in the mood to talk about living together, we should talk about this in privacy, my god we're sitting in a bar," Marlene planted her fist firmly to the table, Tracey lowered her shoulders in despair, "Can we just listen to the music and enjoy dinner," Marlene added in a heated voice. Tracey took a hard swig of wine staring at her something was amiss with Marlene she thought. The drive back to Marlene's apartment was again quiet, Tracey parked the car turning it off they sat there not speaking, "Shall I come in?" She asked cutting Marlene a glance, "It's late and I have a big patient load first thing in the morning," She grabbed the door handle, "Good night," She quickly kissed her cheek and got out of the car, "I'll see you tomorrow then," She started the car and drove off, Marlene stared tracing the tail lights with sadness in her eyes.

"Good morning," Marlene walked into Rebecca's new room, "Beats the ICU unit, no real privacy there," Rebecca spoke back, "Come closer," She squinted her eyes staring at Marlene, "Is there something on my face?" She felt it with her hand, Rebecca reached out grabbing her forearm and pulling her down to her lips they kissed gently, "Hmmm," Marlene moaned, "There's more where that came from," She chuckled, "It's obvious your feeling much better," Marlene crooned teasing her, "How was last night?" She asked becoming more serious. "It was tense and uncomfortable," Marlene hesitated as she spoke, "Why? Did you tell her something?" She asked in a rational tone, "She want's me to move in," Rebecca shook her head, "You should have known that was coming," Marlene sighed deeply, "True, I think she knows something is up, she wanted to stay the night last night but I think with the heated discussion we had about me moving in with her dashed any hopes," Marlene sat down on the bed, "I have to tell her sooner than later or she'll definitely know something's wrong, I can't sleep with her, I would be cheating on you," She eyed Rebecca as she spoke truthfully, "Marlene, I would totally understand, you are in a relationship with her and you can't keep hiding things and putting her off, its going to hurt no matter when or how you tell her but she doesn't know it's a lie," Rebecca's hand found its way to Marlene's face, "I love you and I don't want you to be with her but I understand and it won't make me change how I feel about you, shit we've come this far and I'm not about to lose you again," She stammered, "I need to tell her tonight, I can't put this off any longer," She grumbled under her breath, "I have to ask Rebecca, was it difficult with Lizette when you ended things?" She looked at Marlene with determination, "I did love her but she had been lying for years and she cheated more than once and I knew in the back of my mind that something was totally wrong with her and our relationship," She versed.

"You still haven't answered my question," Rebecca took in a deep breath, "Yes it was, especially when I got over the shock of remembering, my head is still in a cloud at times but the headaches have seized, at least for now anyway," She remarked, "What about Eric?" She further questioned her, Rebecca could feel the hair stand up on her neck, "What about him?" The pregnancy front and center in her mind, "How was it when you ended things with him?" Rebecca stuttered, "I, I, uh, I didn't love him, he was a great companion and I enjoyed his company and for a brief moment I thought I could make a life with him but I realized that what I felt about him wasn't what I felt for you," She reminisced thinking of there times together, "You didn't lead him on? I mean he came here hoping to rekindle things with you, Rebecca you slept with him," She vented, Rebecca felt it hard to swallow, "I did, I had no idea that you wanted me back, I had to try and move on, I told you it was a mistake and I'm sorry but," She stared at her without another word. "It's ok, I do understand just like with Tracey, we've both have been put in situations we wish we could've have changed before they happened," Marlene drew a conclusion to. "Yeah well we can't change our past or the past we shared with others, all I know is that through every sad and disappointing moment I've had to endure without you, I now know that in the end we belong together," Rebecca expressed with elation.


	46. Chapter 46

**CHAPTER 46**

 **Lifecycle**

Marlene visited with Rebecca awhile longer, "I've got patients how about I come by at lunch, I'll pick up something from the cafeteria," She spoke bending down and kissing her, "I'll see you later then," Rebecca clutched her hand rubbing it. Marlene exited her room unknowing that Tracey stood watching from across the hall her eyes followed Marlene as she entered the elevator, Rebecca closed her eyes in thought of Marlene and starting a new life with her but the pregnancy made her grimace in uncertain fear, "Rebecca," Tracey announced as she knocked, "Yes come in," Rebecca motioned, "How are you feeling?" She asked as if she were concerned, "I'm feeling much better, thank you, ready to get out of here actually," She answered sincerely, "Speaking of you getting out, what are your plans?" She fished for answered, "I haven't decided, I still have the cottage and I like it here, why?" Rebecca questioned. "Marlene and I are happy but I feel the reason your really wanting to stay is because of her," She stated, "Marlene will have to decide Tracey," She sighed eyeing her, "She's made a decision and she wants to have a life with me, I see nothing but trouble from you and Marlene doesn't need the stress, we're happy," She lowered her face into her hands, "Then if your happy you shouldn't find me a threat," Rebecca goaded. "I want you to stay away from her, please, I know that's not what you wanted to hear but the fact is she loves me," Rebecca stared at her, solemnly. "Then if she loves you as you say she does then you don't need to worry," She remarked crossing her arms.

Tracey became mum leaving the room, "God," Rebecca wept she wiped her eyes, "What will I do," She spoke quietly to herself she closed her eyes falling back to sleep. "Rebecca," Marlene tapped her shoulder, "Oh hey," She sat up on the side of the bed, "Chef salad," Marlene smiled setting it on the tray and sat in the chair next to the bed, "Tracey came to see me earlier," Rebecca began, "Tracey," Marlene's heart raced, "Yes she seems to think I'm trouble and that the only reason I'm still here is because I'm after you," She explained, "Marlene we should talk about something very important," She gazed at her, "Can it wait? I have a busy afternoon," She begged, "Marlene you need to tell Tracey about us or have you changed your mind?" Rebecca became abrupt, "I will tell her, I just need a little time Rebecca," Marlene quickly stood up she shook her head, "I'm sorry Marlene, I didn't mean," She interrupted her, "Its ok and she didn't have a right to confront you," She insisted, Marlene finished her lunch, "I'll see you this evening," She left out leaving Rebecca to ponder how she would explain her situation. "Tracey," Marlene found her in the ER, "Hi, are you on a break?" She was unaware that Marlene had talked to Rebecca, "Can I talk to you please?" She grasped her arm shuffling her to an empty exam room, "Marlene are you alright?" She asked, "You talked to Rebecca?" She became irritated, "I stopped in, yes," She eyed her strangely, "Why would you do that?" She turned from her, "I just asked her plans that's all," She laid her hands atop Marlene's shoulders, "Are you angry?" She further asked. "I'm hurt that you would make a decision to talk to her knowing the condition she's been in," Marlene grumbled lowly.

"Come on Marlene, that was a little unfair don't you think? The condition she's been in? Really," She chided her, Marlene clinched her teeth turning back to face her, "This isn't really the place to discuss this, I think we need to talk," She added in mild disgust, "Ok, now you want to talk," Tracey's back felt against the wall, "Yes we should and tonight after work," She ordered existing the ER in fast pace she returned to her office gathering her things and heading for the apartment. Marlene fetched her cell phone from her purse and text Rebecca, "Tonight I tell her," She sent it, "Only if you feel it's the right time, don't pressure yourself, we need to have a talk ourselves, I love you," The text came back almost immediately, Marlene read it with tears in her eyes to hurt a person she had been involved with was becoming commonplace she thought to herself her heart hurt to endure the pain of yet another breakup the anxieties that would follow but Rebecca was front and center in her mind the love of her life lay ill in the hospital unable to defend herself an abrupt knock came to the door, "Please come in," Marlene appeared pensive she closed the door, "Look I can understand your anger," Tracey began sliding off her jacket, "No you can't, not really," Marlene cut in bravely, Tracey gave her a distant look, "Rebecca is disruptive to our lives, if you weren't going to ask her, I had to, I love you Marlene and I just want things to be easy for you," She became sullen and red in the face. "Confronting her is not your business but mine, I don't need for you to speak up for me and why would you say she's disruptive?" She vented through piercing eyes, "Because she is," She threw her hands in the air in disapproval.

"I think I should be honest with you, no since me putting this off any longer then I have to but," She paused briefly, "I love her and I've known it all along, I tried hard not to let her interfere with me our my relationship with you but nearly losing her made me see that I wouldn't be happy without her," Tracey's heart sunk to her feet she wept uncontrollably, "What are you saying? Because she was ill and near death you owe it to her?" She barked, "You told me your life was with me and we make such a good team, your going to throw it away for her? She's reckless Marlene," She became angrier as she spoke. "I never meant to hurt you Tracey but I can't lie to you, myself or Rebecca any longer, I'm sorry," She hastened her voice, "Sorry? Did you think I would just walk in here, you tell me how your really feeling and I would just say ok?" She seemed stunned and out of sorts to Marlene, "I wasn't sure how you would take it, I can't change what I'm feeling Tracey, I can't continue to lie to you anymore," She shrugged her shoulders, "I can't believe this is happening," She sobbed into her hands, "Please Tracey," Marlene begged wanting to calm her, "Don't touch me," She snapped rudely backing away from her, "I have to go," She grabbed her jacket and rushed out the door before Marlene could stop her. Marlene felt sick she hurt the woman she thought she would be making a life with. Marlene collected her things and returned to the hospital to see Rebecca.

"Thank you David," Rebecca spoke, "You are doing much better, there is still some congestion in your chest but that's to be expected, no fever the last three days, he looked at the medication bag that dripped slowly into her vein, "One more day and I think will be able to remove that, see how you are afterwards," He flipped her chart over, "Have you thought anymore about the baby?" He questioned in earnest she frowned, "I haven't and I need to tell Marlene but," She stopped talking, "I don't think this is a good place to tell her and I still haven't decided if I want to keep this child," She hung her head feeling some disgrace, "The decision is yours and I can respect what you feel but you can't wait much longer, I can schedule the appointment with Dr. Raines on your behalf," He offered, "I think that's a good idea, I worry that harm may have come to it," She rubbed her abdomen, "Well we had no choice in the matter, your life was in the balance and," She raised her hand up to him, "I understand where you're coming from, I didn't know I was pregnant and I didn't know how sick I was, really," She explained calmly, "Then I'll schedule the appointment tomorrow," He stated, "How much longer will I be here?" She probed, "I'd like to see how you do once we stop the antibiotics and that congestion you still have needs to be gone," His smile and words eased her worriedness, "I'll check on you tomorrow," He closed the door giving her time to reflect on the situation. Marlene entered the room with a sullen look, "Hi," she spoke pulling the chair up next to the bed, "I guess you told her?" Rebecca asked looking at the saddened expression on her face, "It wasn't good, she feels I owe you something and that's the reason I want to be with you," She relayed, "I'm sorry, breakups are hard and I know you care for her," She added they held each other by the hand remaining silent for a moment.

"I devastated her, just like I did, Mark," She answered shaking her head tightly and groaning, "Marlene, no one realizes just how difficult its been for us but our family, we love one another and we were made for each other and that's a fact," She chuckled. "I know the only thing I want is to spend my life with you, making you happy, honestly its time to let go and to give of myself as I never did before," Rebecca rehearsed gazing into those blue eyes she adored. "I love you so deeply and passionately it hurts me to my bones," Marlene remarked they laughed, "Still we have many things to talk about," She became insecure thinking of the pregnancy as she spoke. "Nothing is more important then your health right now Rebecca, when you get out we will have plenty of time to talk," She smiled embracing her and holding her, "Kiss me," Rebecca sweetly asked, Marlene pulled back from her, her lips met hers in a passionate kiss, her hands caressing the sides of Rebecca's arms, "I've waited days to do that," Marlene teased, "This hospital gown isn't very romantic though," Rebecca snickered. "I know when I get you home you won't need that gown," She picked at it with a tug of her fingers. Rebecca's stare became serious, "I love you Marlene," She stated a tear fell to her cheek, "And I love you with all my heart and I don't think we can tell each other enough," She wiped the tear from her face, "I need to go, I have a busy day tomorrow and I'll see you in the morning," She kissed her again, "Get a good night's sleep," She waved at her from the door, "Goodnight," She whispered back to her.

"Well no fever again today," The nurse spoke, "How about a hot shower, I think you could use it," She smiled helping her from the bed, Marlene came in toting a clean pair of pajama's, "Oh thank you," Rebecca greeted her, "Let me put these on," She went back into the bathroom the nurse helped her get them over the tubes that were connected to her arm, "I might be able to get these out today," Rebecca told Marlene as she walked from the bathroom the nurse left them to talk, "David gave me a good check up and said I might get to go home soon," She was hopeful, Marlene helped her settled back in bed, "That's good," she winced, "Are you doing any better this morning?" Rebecca probed, "I feel shitty, I didn't sleep good thinking of the turmoil and pain I've created," She answered frankly, "Marlene don't be so hard on yourself, there is never a good time when it comes to letting someone down, it wouldn't have mattered how or when you told her you couldn't keep lying to her," She tried to settle an upset Marlene. "Still it doesn't make it any easier," David knocked and enter, "Good morning, Marlene, Grace is looking for you," He walked over to the bed his stethoscope in hand, "I'll see you later," She smiled leaving them, "How does it sound?" She questioned David after he slipped the stethoscope back into his pocket, "It's clear, I'm pleased and amazed at how well your doing," He looked to the door and then back to her, "I think Marlene has a lot to do with your progress," His smile of encouragement elated her, "It has we are back together," She shrugged, "I know there are some difficulties with Tracey but she's working through it," She inserted in a rational tone, "I'll stop the antibiotics and other fluids today, I'm hoping to send you home in a few days but rest is important," He handed her a slip of paper, "Monday you will need to see Dr. Raines," He kindly ordered, "Ok thank you David for everything, I plan to talk to Marlene about the pregnancy this weekend and I hope a decision will be made before I see this Dr. Raines," She held the appointment note out staring at it, "I think having an idea or a plan about what your intensions are is very important, remember there's a life growing inside of you," He added, "I'll check you tomorrow," She smiled and waved reflecting on what he had said.

"Good afternoon." Marlene entered the room, "Hey," Rebecca was dressed and sitting on the side of the bed, "Where have you been all day, I've missed you," Rebecca inquired, "I had to get the cottage readied, its home now and I had to move my things in," She smiled making Rebecca happy they embraced, "I've arranged a few days off to spend with you," She remarked packing up Rebecca's things, "Oh, hey, I should be alright," She thought of the baby and the time she needed to think about what to do, "You look sad," Marlene noticed as the nurse brought the wheelchair in, "No really I'm fine," She swallowed hard, "Let's get you home," She sat in the wheelchair, Rebecca looked back at her time spent there she thought of how it was the turning point in her relationship with Marlene. Rebecca breathed in the fresh air from the breeze that blew through the windows, "I see you've tidied things up," Rebecca spoke noticing the many buttons, thread and cloth materials that were laid out were now neatly tucked away upstairs. Marlene took Rebecca in her arms, "David has ordered plenty of rest," She kissed her briefly, "Ok, he told me but come here you little vixen," She ordered in a sexual manner, "I think when he said rest that meant no sex," She remarked boldly, "No sex?" She questioned her back, "So you won't get any today," Marlene barked walking her to the sofa, Rebecca pouted as they sat down, "Why not?" She begged, "Because you don't want to get overheated now do you?" She grinned impishly. "I think if we take it slow," Marlene placed her hand over Rebecca's mouth, "Shh and stop being silly," She teased her their lips met gently, "Please take me to bed," Rebecca caressed the side of her face. "Hmmm," She whimpered they stood up making their way to the bedroom.

They both crouched down on their knees facing each other in the middle of the bed, "Kiss me," Marlene urged, Rebecca obliged her tongue teasing her lips with tenderness she slowly unbuttoned her shirt unsnapping her bra she laid it off to the side massaging Marlene's breasts first with the stroke of her hands and then her mouth, Marlene's fingertips weaved through the short locks of Rebecca's hair as she moaned lowly. Rebecca gently laid her back unsnapping her pants and pulling them off she quickly undressed herself tugging at Marlene's panties until they were both naked. Marlene rolled over on top of Rebecca her hands guided themselves down to her waist she softly grasped the sides of her hips pulling her closer their mounds fused together as they moaned and groaned, "God, I've missed this so much," Rebecca whispered feeling the touch of Marlene, "And I also," She tongued her ear as she spoke. Marlene kissed and traced her tongue along the length of Rebecca's body she spread her legs her mouth entering her void she kissed and tongued her bringing her to multiple orgasms. Marlene rose back up lying next to her, "What are you thinking?" She quietly asked, Rebecca thought about the life inside of her she felt strange and suddenly cold, "Rebecca," Marlene placed her thumb under her chin pulling her face towards hers, "Rebecca, what is it?" She sat up, "I'm ok but," She hesitated for a second, "I need to tell you something," Marlene looked at her with anguish, "Ok, can, it wait?" She asked with a puzzled expression, "I found out something about myself when I was in the hospital," She started, pulling herself up closer to her, "Go on," She seemed perplexed, "I don't know what this will do to our relationship and I'm really not sure how I should or even want to handle this, this," She became quiet looking down to her abdomen, "I'm sure whatever it is we can work through it," She sweetly kissed her, "I'm pregnant," She stared directly into her eyes as she said it.

Marlene gasped for air, "What?" She questioned loudly, "I'm sorry," Rebecca, grumbled, Marlene could hardly breathe, "Pregnant!" She further exclaimed covering her mouth she got up from the bed, "Please Marlene," She reached for her but she pulled away from her, "I know I should have told you right away but it was a lot for me to absorb, I was shocked and there could be an issue with the baby," Marlene shook her head sitting back down on the bed, "The moment you found out you should've told me Rebecca," Marlene spoke in a hurtful tone, Rebecca looked down she rubbed her face, "I didn't know how and I didn't want you to walk away from me, I love you and I want to be with you and," Marlene interjected, "And you thought if you told me right away that I might not want to be with you?" She crossed her arms, "Yeah, uh, yes I was afraid," She argued, "I can't do this right now, I need to go," Rebecca got up and began putting back on her clothes, "Are you leaving," Marlene looked at her in an unresponsive manner, "Just let me be Rebecca," She walked out the door leaving her standing in the living room.


	47. Chapter 47

**CHAPTER 47**

 **Tragedy**

Marlene sat on the rocks that bordered the shoreline her chin atop her knees she gazed out over the ocean watching the intensity of the waves as they pounded the shore her mind reeling from Rebecca's revelation the pain she felt shooting through her. "Rebecca pregnant," She voiced under her breath she began to weep, "Hey," Rebecca found her sitting next to her Marlene shifted an eye to her, "I'm sorry Marlene, I know this is something you weren't expecting," Marlene sighed. "It's a lot to take in Rebecca," She looked back at the waves, "I don't know what else to say other than it happened and I can't change it," She implored, "How could this happen? You've never been a carless person," Rebecca hung her head at the words Marlene spoke, "I made a mistake Marlene," She voiced strongly, "Is it Eric's? I mean," She stuttered briefly. "I know its his and now you will have to tell him," She laid the side of her face across her knees, "Yes its his," Rebecca replied, "And I'm not sure that keeping this child is an option for me, I've never cared about being a parent," She worded, "That's you, always self centered and not totally giving of yourself," She scolded her directly. Rebecca grimaced, "That's unfair Marlene," She cried out, "You know, I think back to when I made the decisions I did and they were for good reasons, my god I was raped and felt dirty and to realize Alexander might have been the father, it just sickens my stomach," Rebecca clutched her by the arm. "It was a decision you, decided for yourself and you left Tristan out of it, I supported you Marlene and I was there for you in your darkest times," She rambled. "Please don't hate me Marlene," She groveled, "I could never hate you but this changes everything," She spoke sincerely.

"I don't want to lose you but I'm afraid," Marlene lowered her shoulders, "You have to tell him the truth Rebecca, it's the only way and if you think about it he will want to be a part of this child's life," She confirmed with a motion of her hand. "I know, I can't lie to him but I don't know if keeping this baby is worth the sorrow and animosity it may cause," Marlene pursed her lips. "Its not the child that concerns me but Eric, he loves you Rebecca and if he feels he can build a life with you then he'll do everything in his power to get you back," She was honest as she spoke. "I don't love him, he knows all too well that I don't want a life with him," She remarked with candor, "Still he will be involved in your life, our life," Marlene complained. "What did you say?" Rebecca questioned hearing the last of what she said, "I don't know, this is difficult, all we've been through, all we've meant to each other, it seems to me we can't get things right," She gazed into her brown eyes, "I love you and we have a real chance to be a family, are you going to let this slip away? I won't keep this child if means I will lose you, my heart can't take anymore disasters Marlene, I just can't," She stood up and walked back up the path to the cottage. Marlene felt sorrowful she walked back to the cottage, "You need some rest," She ordered walking back in and picking up her purse, "I have some errands to run, I'll check on you a little later," She quietly left her. Rebecca sunk to the sofa laying the throw across her legs she made phone calls to home and ponder whether or not to call Eric.

Marlene wondered up to Grace's, "Hey, come in did you get Rebecca settled?" She could tell something was wrong with Marlene, "I, I just need to talk," She answered. "Rebecca is settled and resting right now, I," She hung her head, "Rebecca is pregnant Grace," She looked at her with a pensive frown. "Oh no," She grasped her arm and led her to sofa they sat down, "What is she going to do?" Marlene bit her lip, "I told her that she needed to let Eric know that much we agreed on but I'm afraid he will want to be a part of the child's life and I can't have anymore strife in our lives," She moaned. "Has she thought about an abortion, I mean is it obvious to you that this is a possibility?" Grace asked pulling the hair from Marlene's face, "Yes, she doesn't want to lose me and if this child means things won't workout for us, then," Grace stopped her, "How do you feel?" Marlene breathed in deeply, "How am I, suppose to feel? Really, I thought we we're finally getting our lives in a functional way, I never wanted a child, I fought Mark at every turn and to now be faced with this," She laid her face into the palms of her hands. "It's a different situation Marlene, you didn't love Mark enough to want children, Rebecca is the one carrying this child, a life is growing inside of her and she's been through so much she doesn't need any setbacks, imagine how she must feel, finding you again wanting to start anew with you, not everything in life is sugarcoated and its really not fair to her, yes she made a mistake, so have you," She advised strongly.

"I just didn't expect this, a child," She cried out, "Do you love her?" Grace asked, "More than I ever have, I almost lost her and I could lose her again, I have a lot to think about," She voiced, "What do you mean by losing her?" Grace prodded for an answer, "She's pregnant with Eric's child Grace, he will want to be in every part of his child's life which means he will want her to return to Düsseldorf so they can raise it together, I've already told you, I won't go back there, I don't want to be a third wheel, I can't do it," She muttered loudly. "So what your doing is pushing her to make a decision and I agree if she decides not to keep this baby then she has to act soon but to give her an ultimatum about something so surreal as a life growing inside of her," Marlene cut in, "I would never ask her to make that decision, I won't put her in any situation like that she must decide on her own, if raising this child with him is what she feels she must do then I can stop her and I would have to respect her decision, children need their parents," Marlene was adamant as she spoke. "I can't disagree with that and you're right children need parenting, why couldn't you be that child's parent? You love her and you would grow to love that baby because its part of Rebecca and you would be involved in its everyday life who, cares if Eric is here or spends time with his child?" Marlene listened to her firm words, "Do you love Rebecca?" She asked outright, Marlene stared at her, "I love her Grace that's never been a question," She prompted with a smile, "Then you know what you have to do," She advised wisely, "I do," They embraced, Marlene had a plan come to mind.

Marlene made her way up to the front door of the cottage that sat at the end of Gray Gull Lane she looked around at its quaintness, its beauty she ran her index finger along the ridged shake that bordered the door facing she slowly entered finding Rebecca asleep on the sofa. "Rebecca," Marlene lightly shook her, "Hey," She opened her eyes focusing on Marlene 's face, "You've been asleep for awhile, I'll make you some soup," She ordered feeling her forehead, Rebecca sat up, "Ok, I am a little hungry," Marlene stirred the pot as Rebecca relaxed thumbing through her cell phone she had left a voice mail for Eric earlier but he had not returned her call she sat it on the coffee table, Marlene motioned her to the table they sat down to eat. "Did you go back to your apartment?" Rebecca probed, "No, my lease was up and most of my things are in the guest room she pointed to the closed door. "Oh, I didn't know, you were so angry and unsure of me when you left earlier," She added Marlene cut her an eye clinching her jaw tightly, "I'm not angry Rebecca just hurt and disappointed," She winced laying the spoon down into her empty soup bowl, "I'm sorry and I understand if you don't want to stay, you are right we never seem to get things right, no matter how hard we try there's always interference and I think we aren't meant to be after all," She sounded convincing to Marlene. "So you want to keep this child and move back to Düsseldorf so you and Eric can raise it?" She spoke in a mild but stern tone. "No, I don't and I've called him, he didn't answer and I'm awaiting a word from him," She stated abruptly, "So what are you saying?" She further pushed for something affirmative from her, "That I love you and I need to decide if I want to keep this baby," She relayed. "You can't abort a child because you feel I'll love you any less," Marlene groaned. They got up from the table and moved out onto the back porch, "It's beautiful out here today," Marlene pulled Rebecca's sweater up and buttoned it.

"Rebecca, I have to ask you something," Marlene began they gazed at one another as they sat atop the porch railing facing each other, "What did you want to ask me?" She smiled feeling somewhat at ease. "First I want you to know that, I love you," She leaned forward kissing her briefly, "I know that this was a big shock for you, discovering you were pregnant, something not expected," She became serious, "I should've been more comforting and understanding, you've been through a lot and to lose you, I, I," She stopped taking in a deep breath. "Marlene, I know your not comfortable with this, the fear of Eric wanting to take me away, that won't happen because I love you and only you and if I thought for a moment I would lose you, I wouldn't keep this child," She pleaded. "Rebecca, I can't worry about Eric or what he thinks or any of that," She took her hand becoming silent, "Rebecca, we've been through a lot and of course I do love you," She reminded her, "But through all of that, I want to know, will you do me the honor of marrying me?" She awaited an answer. Rebecca was speechless, "Yes, yes I will marry you," She embraced her and held her tightly, "Are you sure?" Rebecca asked with great emotion, "I've never been more sure, I know that there will be decisions you and Eric will have to make, especially if you keep this baby but Rebecca I support you whole heartedly and whatever you decide, I will be there for you," She caressed her face they kissed. "Come with me," Rebecca drew her from the railing and back inside they kissed removing each others clothes as they made their way to the bedroom, Rebecca stood back looking at Marlene's nude body, "You make me tremble when I look at you, how beautiful you are," She reached her fingers out touching her exposed breasts.

Marlene took her hand, kissing the tips of her fingers, "Make love to me," She begged Rebecca, "Hmmm," She pulled her closer, "I think a shower, don't you?" She led her there the drops of hot steamy water pelted them as they kissed holding each other tightly their legs locked around each other, tongues dancing playfully on one another's lips, Rebecca felt for the towel pulling it inside the shower and wrapping them in it. "Cold?" Rebecca teased, they stepped out, "Hot," Marlene mused lying in bed. Rebecca mounted her spreading her legs her hand caressed its way down to her void penetrating her in even steady strokes, "Your so wet," She whispered in her ear biting her lobe, Marlene arched herself up to the rhythm of Rebecca's pace, "Don't stop," She whimpered losing control. Rebecca quickly made her way down to Marlene's awaiting mound she slipped her tongue between her thighs causing her to climax numerous times, spent she rolled over on to her stomach and clutched the bed sheets tugging at them as she slowly came down from the sexual high she was on. Marlene and Rebecca lay in each other's arms enjoying the silence, "We should plan our wedding," Rebecca soon spoke, "Is there a place you would like to marry?" Marlene asked kissing the side of Rebecca's face, "Anywhere," She giggled. "I'm thinking at Grace and David's," She responded, "That would be great, on the beach, us your coworkers," She added as she rolled over on her stomach, "A beautiful fall day," Marlene thought out loud, "So you want to marry soon?" Rebecca questioned, "As soon as possible, no more waiting, I don't ever want to lose you again," She slightly grimaced thinking of what they had been through.

Rebecca became quiet and serious, "We should talk about the baby," She began to say, Marlene sighed, "Your right we should, what do you want to do? I know Eric hasn't returned your call and," She paused momentarily, "I feel you want to keep this child or you wouldn't have called him," She surmised staring at her. "It's a big decision, I've never thought of children, even when I thought I was pregnant a few years ago, I've always been work minded and carefree," She admitted bluntly. "But this is different, your much older a little more set in your ways and your more forthcoming than before," Marlene rehearsed with a wide eye. "Do you want to raise this child with me? Ours?" Rebecca rambled in questioning, "I've given it a great deal of thought and yes I would love to raise this baby, I love you and having children, well, I had thought about it when Tommy was born, briefly," Rebecca cut in, "Until I managed to mess things up," She groveled. "You would have to be a stay at home mother," Marlene directed firmly, Rebecca eyed her with the softness of her brown eyes, "I know but as I told you when I came here, I was willing to make sacrifices to be with you, I want to grow old with you be in unity as one," She was candid as she spoke. "I don't want to live in Germany," Marlene became frank, "I know and understand that Marlene," Rebecca answered sweetly kissing her lips, "I don't expect for you to stop working either, it would be unfair to ask you to stay at home especially after the baby is older and ready for school," She versed calmly. "I know that at first I will have to stay home, I don't want our child raised without both of its parents," She answered realistically, "Good then, I think we've reached an agreement," Marlene's hand traveled to Rebecca's abdomen and rubbed in gently. "A mother, wow," She giggled looking at Rebecca with love in her smile.

Marlene climbed from the bed and dressed, "I'm hungry, care for Chinese? She asked Rebecca, "Are you thinking a walk into town?" She questioned rolling out of the bed and followed her dressing herself. "How do you feel? I don't want you over doing it," She felt of her forehead, "Tired," Rebecca answered, "But a good tired," She snickered in continuance, "You mean a sex tired?" Marlene teased. "I'll call it in, I don't want you in the evening air," She ordered firmly, Rebecca looked at her cell phone and the time, "I should try to call Eric again it surprises me that he hasn't returned my call," She voiced with uncertainty she phoned him again but the ring went straight to his voice mail, Marlene kissed her cheek leaving to pickup their dinner. Rebecca flipped through the numbers in her phone until she found the number for the Düsseldorf fashion magazine she dialed it asking for Eric her call was directed to the Editor, "Yes this is Rebecca Von Lahnstein and I was trying to contact Eric Drake," She was eager as she spoke her heart raced wanting to share the news with him. "Yes this is William Klein, I'm the editor and Eric's boss," He hesitated briefly, "I guess no one has contacted you about Eric?" He mildly questioned. "No they haven't," She replied with worry in her voice, "I'm sorry to tell you that Eric was killed in a hit and run accident last month in Milan," Rebecca lost her breath she shook as she buckled at the knees, "Dead? Are you sure?" Her tone filled with anguish. "Yes, I'm sorry he was sent on assignment there and after the fashion shoot an argument broke out he was caught up in the shuffle and was accidently pushed out onto the street a passerby hit him and then left the scene he was killed instantly," Rebecca had tears streaming down her face she thanked him, her mouth dry her heart sad she laid in a fetal position on the sofa and awaited Marlene's return.

Marlene busily entered the door as she sat the brown paper bags down on the kitchen counter, "Dinner is ready," She smiled looking around the room for Rebecca. "Rebecca!" She rushed over to the sofa, "Baby are you alright?" Her words frantic as she looked into the bleakness of Rebecca's face. "Are you sick?" She felt her forehead again and began wiping the tears from her face, "Marlene, I have bad news," She grimaced weeping again, "What happened?" She seemed perplexed as she asked. "I couldn't get Eric by phone and I called his office, I spoke with his boss and he told me," She coughed weeping harder, "Go on," Marlene prodded her hands cradling Rebecca's face. "Eric is dead Marlene," She belted the words out laying her head against Marlene's chest. "What?" Both their worlds shattered by Rebecca's revelation, "He was on assignment in Milan, Italy when he was struck by a driver who left the scene," She relayed sadly. "I'm so, sorry Rebecca, I know what he meant to you," She held her tightly to her chest caressing the short locks of her hair they sat there for what seemed like hours, "I'm not hungry right now," Rebecca winced, "Ok I'll warm it up for you later, go lie down and rest," Marlene watched her trod slowly to the bedroom.


	48. Chapter 48

**CHAPTER 48**

Marlene consoled Rebecca holding her as she began to come down from the shock she was feeling, "It's ok to cry Rebecca," Marlene assured her, "I just can't believe this, this happening," She pulled Rebecca's face back to look in her eyes, "Does he have family?" She asked. "I know both of his parents are in England and both were in bad health he was an only child," Rebecca grimaced answering, "Did you meet them?" She inquired further. "No never he went home last Christmas but didn't offer much about them when he returned," She voiced thinking back to the time they were together, "Will you try to let them know?" Marlene was curious. "I don't think so," She shrugged, "I mean I didn't meet them he didn't talk about them much at all and I don't know with the health he said they were in," She shook her head once again in disbelief, "Shh, its going to be ok," Marlene comforted her again rubbing the side of Rebecca's face with her hand. "I love you," She then moved her hand to Rebecca's abdomen touching it softly. "I'm tired and I'm not hungry would you mind if I go lay down for awhile?" I really need some alone time," She stood up from the sofa and slowly walked to the bedroom falling onto the bed in grief she clutched her abdomen and sobbed loudly the pain she felt at losing someone she was once close with was devastating. Marlene walked outside and sat out on the back porch she hung her head in sorrow for Rebecca she quickly phoned Grace, "Can we talk?" She sternly asked, "Yes, I'll put some tea on come on over," She went in and checked on Rebecca and then left her to grieve.

Marlene hurried up the stairs and into Grace's kitchen she had placed the teapot and cups on a tray, "You seemed upset, is everything alright with Rebecca?" She curiously asked. "Yes and no," Marlene worded they took the tray out to the porch and sat down, "Rebecca is feeling fine but we've had a rough patch," Marlene started to say, "Oh, well I hope its something that can be worked out," She poured Marlene's tea as she spoke. "Grace, I think Rebecca is going to keep the baby," She quietly inserted, "Its her decision," Grace appeared relieved, "Yes and Eric is definitely the father, did you know about this?" She probed for an answer. "No," She sighed realizing this may cause a rift between the two of them, "I did not, Rebecca didn't say a word and David certainly wouldn't, patient privacy," She replied. Marlene thought for a moment, "I wasn't sure I could deal with her being pregnant, she loves me and came here to be with me and sleeps with a man from her past," Marlene complained in a ramble. "And are you holding that against her?" Grace was quick to respond, Marlene eyed her, "I shouldn't, I denied her too many times, I can't totally blame her, I'm as much at fault and if I'm being realistic with myself he walked in at a time she was very vulnerable," She admitted. "What decision have you made?" Grace asked, Marlene managed a grin, "I've asked her to marry me Grace," There was a second of silence between them she grasped Marlene in a tight hug, "I'm so happy for you she did say yes?" Grace's question hung in the air, "She did," Marlene seemed sad to her. "So she really has decided to keep the baby?" Grace questioned again in uncertainty, "We discussed it in lenght earlier," Marlene quietly answered.

"Marlene you seem unsure, what's going on?" She interjected, "Rebecca and I talked and we both agreed that Eric should know," She took in a deep breath. "She had been trying to reach him and she called the magazine he works for only to find out that Eric was killed by a hit and run driver in Milan while he was on assignment," She explained. "Oh my god, Rebecca must be devastated," Grace, remarked looking at Marlene with sadness "And that's why I'm here she needs some alone time," They finished their tea. "I should go and check on her if she awakes she'll wonder where I am," Marlene winced walking to the door, "One other thing," She began again, "And what's that?" Grace quizzed, "Rebecca and I have discussed where we would like to marry and we were wondering if you would mind if we married here?" Grace's sad face turned to a grin, "David and I would be honored," She embraced her. Marlene pulled back, "Will you stand up for us?" She inquired with a grin, "Certainly, you're my best friend Marlene and I feel I've found a real friend in Rebecca as well," She spoke with excitement, "So I guess we will need to make arrangements but first I need to help Rebecca get past this devastation," She advised. "Well when you come back to work in a few days we will talk, Rebecca also needs care for her health and with a baby," She arched her brow speaking, "My god we are going to be parents," She smiled thinking, "Yes and sooner than you thought but I have to ask Marlene," Grace paused, "You didn't want children with Mark," Marlene stopped her, "I didn't love Mark, I didn't demand Rebecca have this child she had the option but I love her and I want this for us," She pled. "You will be a good parent Marlene, I have no doubt," She saw her out.

Rebecca sat curled up on the sofa, "Hey where have you been?" She yawned in question as Marlene closed the door, "Grace's, I thought you could use the rest and the alone time," She answered. Rebecca groaned, "It still doesn't help the pain, I just feel awful the last time I saw him, I hurt him badly knowing he was in love with me," She rehearsed, "Rebecca you can't beat yourself up over this, I know he meant something to you after all he's the father of this child," She spoke firmly. "I know Marlene but I feel bad and," She stared deeply into her eyes, "Could you please just hold me?" She begged in a question. Marlene took Rebecca in her arms, "I love you Rebecca and more than you'll ever know, I, don't ever want to live without you," She ran her fingers through her hair, "Marlene, I hope that your not angry with me, I mean I caused this," She voiced leaning her head against her chest. "We are going to be parents, once our child is born I can adopt and truly become his or her mother," She managed to get a grin from Rebecca, "You are in a very delicate situation Rebecca, you can't afford to be stressed or not get the rest you need to build your strength back up, we don't want you back in the hospital," Marlene brushed her index finger against Rebecca's chin. "I have an appointment with a Dr. Raines on Monday, David sat it up," She spoke becoming serious, "You need to make sure the baby is alright, there will be tests to determine that the medications you were on didn't harm the fetus," She spoke with an informative tone. "Yes, I know," She caressed Marlene's face in speaking. "And you need to eat not only to keep your strength up but you're eating for two now," Marlene picked trying to lift Rebecca's damaged spirits.

They sat to the table together, Marlene picked up her drinking glass, sipping her water and swallowing, "I love you," She mentioned, Rebecca toyed with her food, "I love you too," She whispered, "Finish up the rest of your food Rebecca," She urged her she did, Marlene cleared the table doing the dishes, Rebecca helped they stood at the sink looking out of the window, "It's a beautiful evening out why don't we put on our sweaters and take a walk, I could use it," Rebecca calmly stated. "Its close to dark Rebecca, just a short one, I don't want you in the night air," She remarked they slipped on their sweaters and headed down the sandy path to the shoreline. Rebecca took Marlene by the hand, "Do you know how often I've dreamed of a walk like this?" She began, Marlene smiled, "One of the things I missed the most about us was our walks and horseback rides," She further added, "Me too," Marlene answered. "I miss the alone time we shared," She giggled, Rebecca wheeled her around, "I know but I worked all the time and we lost that in the shuffle of things," She pointed out rationally, "My visit to New York did yield something for me," She spoke shifting an eye towards Marlene as they continued to walk, "And what was that?" She questioned. "The shop on Stanton Street is available and I rented it," She felt her throat tighten as she spoke. "Hmmm," Marlene groaned, "I think its great," She smiled answering, "You do, you mean it?" Rebecca probed with a wide grinned clutching her closely her lips met hers in a tender kiss, "More than anything I love you Rebecca and I know you want to work, I would never ask you to stop doing what you love, I don't want to go back to Germany," She hesitated briefly, "You returning there, to LCL," She lowered her head, "Just isn't in the cards for me," She braved the words speaking them.

Rebecca moved her face closer to Marlene's, "And when I told you I would make sacrifices to be with you that's exactly what I meant, yes there will be times I will need to return home and do things at LCL, its my business Marlene the shop on Stanton Street gives me the chance to prove myself, solo, as an individual who can make it on her own," She reflected. "Don't forget we're having a baby," Marlene teased embracing her, Rebecca felt sadness she looked at the last rays of the sun creeping down over the ocean, "Today is for Eric," She grimaced looking down to her belly, "I can agree, I know that deep down he meant something to you, a wonderful man who fulfilled the lost need you had," Marlene surmised quietly. Rebecca sighed deeply, "What a loss, a loss some other woman could've shared his kindness and aspirations but not me," She added, "Let's go back to the cottage," They walked back."The upstairs," Marlene pointed and then continued, "Will that be your office?" Rebecca grinned, "Yes, I plan to design and sew there," They moved to the couch sitting down, "I intend to hire a manager, designer and seamstress for the Stanton Street store, I'll draft the designs have the new designer tweak them and go from there, a small operation but a fantastic one," She giggled tickling Marlene. "I know your intentions for Stanton Street are good," Marlene spoke and then looked down to the floor, "Hey, I know your worried about LCL, I've spoken to Elisabeth about it and she thinks it's a marvelous idea, Tristan too, they just want me to be happy," She clutched Marlene's face. "So this won't be broad scaled?" She dug for an answer, "No, a simple dress shop catering to the needs of those who want top of the line designs at an affordable price," She made her feel more at ease. "What about LCL?" She asked, "As I said there will be times that I will need to attend to things there, meetings, fashion days," She smiled, "But I'm not going to live there this is where I want to be with you, you have a career now and its time to let you live your dreams, no arguments," She smiled kissing her.

"I worry that you won't be happy settling here," She began to speak in a realistic tone, "Nonsense, I love you and I want to be with you no matter what and if it means sacrificing then, then," She stood up from the sofa and walked to the window. "What is it Rebecca?" Marlene had an air of concern, "I can't help but think about how deeply I hurt you in the past, my stupidity when it came to our personal lives, the lies I told, I just lost it and when you left it was a wakeup call, I let you get away, I didn't fight hard enough but deep down, in the pit of my stomach, I knew that you needed a release, all you went through with Hagen, the rape, Tristan," She stammered. Marlene moved closely behind her, "Shh, that's all over with, yes its true, I didn't make the best choices and I should've given you another chance," She turned her around her finger lifting her chin, "But I love you and its all ok Rebecca, we have to move past all these worries and doubts a fresh start with nothing holding us back just you and I," Her smile warmed Rebecca's heart. "I know I was never good at keeping promises but I promise you that I'll do whatever it takes to make you happy," She reached forward touching her lips to hers, "You already have just by saying you'll marry me," They embraced. "Marlene," Rebecca stared swallowing hard, "Yes Rebecca," She whispered her lips slightly trembled, "Make love to me," Her hand caressed her throat she took her hand leading her to the bed, "Are you sure?" She lightly questioned as she began to unbutton her shirt, "I'm sure," Rebecca let her finish unbuttoning her shirt exposing the goose bumps that covered her skin. "My god you drive me insane," Marlene quirked her fingertips caused Rebecca's skin to flinch as she touched her with tenderness. Marlene gazed at her flesh unzipping her pants and slipping them off of her.

Rebecca lay on the bed spreading her legs and accepting the touch of Marlene's tongue inside her void she moaned and groaned in unhindered passion her hands rifling through Marlene's hair as she gasped for air, "Please don't stop," She begged loudly. Marlene tightened her grip on Rebecca's hips driving her tongue even further inside of a wanting Rebecca she became rigid as she jerked and twitched in a flurry of orgasms. Rebecca quickly rolled on top of Marlene kissing her wildly and with erotic pleasure. "You are so sexy Marlene," Rebecca teased seriously nibbling her lips her hands caressing her sides, her fingers entering her crevice, "Rebecca," Marlene panted catching her breath, "What," She whispered softly, "I want you inside of me," She clutched her shoulders pushing Rebecca down to her mound Rebecca's tongue traced the outline of her void piercing it with steady strokes until Marlene winced in climaxes uttering in pleas of sexual release. Rebecca soon fell asleep from exhaustion Marlene laid there caressing the side of her arm with her fingertips holding her closely. "I love you so much you mean everything to me," She voiced calmly kissing the top of Rebecca's head she could feel her breath heave in and out of her chest. "There is so much for us," She whispered in continuance falling asleep still cradling Rebecca in her arms.

Marlene paced in the waiting room of Dr. Raines's office when she heard the creak of the door opening she turned to see Rebecca standing there, "Is everything ok?" She rushed to her side, "Well I'm definitely pregnant she did some blood work and schedule some tests for tomorrow but given the situation I was in things just couldn't be helped," Rebecca had a worried look, "I'm due around the end of April," She muttered as they walked out. "Are the tests at the hospital?" Marlene asked helping her in the car, "They are, nine o'clock," She stated, "Ok we will just hope for the best, will Dr. Raines be doing those tests?" She asked curiously, "I don't know she just told me to report to the front desk and they will take me in," She repeated herself, Marlene drove her back to the cottage. "What if things aren't good?" Marlene asked with an air of concern, Rebecca shrugged her shoulders a streak of fear crossed her face, "I don't know Marlene, I just," She paused momentarily, "If the child is deformed or," She shook her head and then looked up to Marlene, "Then it wouldn't be fair to keep it, I can't see putting a child through unnecessary crisis," She wept as she spoke those words, Marlene nodded. "I understand Rebecca it wouldn't be fair but your timeframe for an abortion is very short and a quick decision would have to be made," She sighed in an answer. "I'm tired, I think I'll shower and turn in early," She kissed Marlene sweetly on the lips leaving her to think about the delicate situation they found themselves in.

Grace met Marlene in the waiting room of the women's wing of the hospital, "Are you alright?" She rubbed the side of her arm, "I will be when I hear something," She attempted to smile but found it difficult, "Why don't we get some coffee," Grace ordered taking her hand, "I should wait," Grace smiled, "It will be awhile, come," Marlene followed they found a seat at a table close to the door of the cafeteria. "Rebecca, what are her feelings?" Grace probed, "We talked last night about it and I agree with Rebecca, if the child is not normal she won't keep it," Grace closed her eyes and took in a deep breath, "That's a big step but understandable," She reflected embracing Marlene, "I want what's best for her, really Grace," She implored staring at the last of the coffee in her cup, "I want to get back upstairs," She quickly finished her coffee leaving Grace at the table. Marlene paced in the elevator as the doors opened she looked around the waiting room but didn't see Rebecca she took as seat thinking of how Rebecca must be feeling. "Marlene," She was startled from her thoughts by a smiling Rebecca she clutched her shoulder and then slipped on her jacket, "I'm hungry," She announced not offering much to a quiet Marlene, "What did the tests say?" Marlene asked as the elevator doors closed leaving them alone, "I'm fine and the baby is fine," She groaned in relief, Marlene took her in her arms, "Thank god," She held her tight. "I will be monitored closely and there will be other tests so keeping our fingers crossed," She answered laying her head on Marlene's chest, "I think we should marry soon," Rebecca gave her a shake of the head they kissed when the dinging of the elevator doors sounded and opened startling them.


	49. Chapter 49

**CHAPTER 49**

 **The heart of a rose**

Marlene sifted through the numerous charts that were left on her desk a knock came to her door, "May I come in," The voice of Tracey called from the crack in the door. "Uh, yes please," Marlene motioned her in there was a moment of silence as they looked at each other, "I guess it wouldn't do me any good to ask how you are?" Marlene abruptly questioned she could see the pain in Tracey's eyes. "It pains me to stand here, to see you after you broke my heart," She answered with a tear in her eye, "I never meant to hurt you Tracey," She stood up from her desk and approached her, "Hurt me isn't exactly what I wanted to hear, what I wanted to hear was that you have finally come to your senses, stopped feeling sorry for Rebecca and want to start over again with what we had begun," She clutched Marlene by the arms, "Tracey be reasonable, I love Rebecca," Marlene stammered, "How could you just forget what we had, I gave myself to you knowing that you had been with her, you told me you loved me Marlene," She spoke trying to catch her breath. "And I'm sorry Tracey!" She exclaimed loudly, "I won't give up so easily Marlene just when you think," Tracey paused pursing her lips. "I love Rebecca how many times do I have to say it," She voiced strongly, "Well love isn't everything Marlene what we had was magical and," Marlene narrowed her eyes as she listened, "And I don't think your in your right mind, yes I know Rebecca was very ill and you felt an important part of your, past was about to be lost," Tracey rambled in continuance. "So you think because Rebecca was near death I owed her something?" Marlene asked tightly crossing her arms in a stare. "Something like that, yes," She replied.

"Rebecca and I have planned a life together and I've asked her to marry me," Marlene bravely spoke up, Tracey felt the air leave her lungs her heart fell to her feet, "Marry? Don't you think that's sudden?" She questioned turning away from Marlene. "We love each other and we want to start our family," Tracey quickly turned back on her heels in a strange gaze, "Family?" She blurted it out Marlene eyed her not speaking,

"Rebecca is pregnant," She answered without thought, "Pregnant? Really? And now you want to be a parent to this child? It's not yours and most likely it's that guy she was screwing around with back in the summer, am I right?" Marlene groaned keeping a tight lip, "Yes its his, Rebecca wasn't sure she wanted to keep this child because of the possibility it might not be normal," Tracey took in a deep breath, "Her illness the medications she was on," She remarked knowing full well the child could be deformed. "So that's your excuse for marrying her?" She further inquired. "There's no point in continuing this conversation, I've made our feelings known and I'm happy," She replied honestly, "What's going to happen when the father wants to be a part of the baby's life?" Marlene lowered her head, "It won't happen," She remarked looking back up at Tracey. "Marlene you can't keep the father from his child be serious," She scolded, "No matter how much Rebecca lies it just isn't realistic," Marlene stopped her, "Eric was killed in a hit and run accident last month in Italy," She uncrossed her arms and turned away from Tracey.

Tracey covered her mouth with her hand gasping, "I'm so sorry," She responded, "Yeah, Rebecca took it hard they were close and it wasn't easy," She sighed deeply, "I know it must be hard for her," She reflected walking towards the door, "But I won't give up on what we had," She left Marlene's office quietly without turning back to her, Marlene sat back to her desk her face in her hands in grief her text chimed a message from Rebecca, "Lunch?" Marlene rubbed her finger on the cell phone momentarily forgetting her conversation with Tracey, "I'll come home," She quickly text her back. Marlene slipped off her lab coat when Grace entered, "Lunch?" She waltzed up to her, Marlene cleared her throat, "I'm going to go home to be with Rebecca," She rolled her eyes, "Hey what's wrong," She grasped her by the sleeve, "Tracey was just here and she told me she's not giving up on what we had," She responded stressfully. "Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't know," She walked back towards the door, "What do I do? I mean I have to work with her," She voiced with a motion of her hand. "Marlene I can't give you, advise for that and I can't ask her to leave her job because you two shared a relationship," She answered firmly, "I never meant it that way Grace, I know she's happy here, its just difficult," She sighed in complaint. "Look the sooner you marry Rebecca and start your lives the better Tracey will understand what your really feeling," Marlene lowered her head, "Your right its time to make a plan," She left out of the hospital and to the cottage.

"Hey," Rebecca met her at the door a roll of material locked in her arms, "Hi," She bent down and kissed her, "Are you alright? You look a little aggravated," Marlene laid her purse and keys on the table, "Let's plan our wedding now," She embraced her, "Ok but did something happen?" Marlene groaned, "Tracey paid me a visit earlier she doesn't want to give up on what we had and," Marlene took in a deep breath, Rebecca sat down the material roll, "And your not sure about what you feel," Rebecca finished stating, "I love you Rebecca but Tracey and I had something very special and there's this ache in my heart," She stood up from the couch a tear trickled down her face, "Hey," Rebecca arose clutching a lock of her hair, "I didn't expect you to get over her that quickly," She smiled relaxing her, "Lunch?" Rebecca questioned they ate, "I should get back to work," She slung her purse over her shoulder and headed out the door. Marlene wondered into the emergency room finding Tracey, "Talk," She asked her, Tracey pointed the way to an empty room, "I guess what I said earlier struck a chord?" She moved closer to Marlene's face, "It did and your right what we had was special and I agree its something that will take sometime getting over, I never expected I would meet someone like you and it tears my heart to pieces that things ended the way they did," Tracey traced Marlene's face with her fingertips. "You could change your mind," Her lips lightly grazed Marlene's, "I can't, I'm in love with Rebecca, I always have been and that won't ever change," Tracey moaned lowering her head, "I think you love me too and that's why you're really here," She bravely mentioned. Marlene bit her lip, "I do care about you and I felt awful after I hurt you, really but Rebecca is my future," She tried to be positive.

"I'm not in the mood to argue with you Marlene and I think your realizing that something good did come out of what we had and now with Rebecca pregnant and not giving up the baby you might feel uncomfortable about the situation," She arched her brow as she spoke firmly. "Not at all, I wanted and agreed to this child Tracey, I want to marry her," Tracey nodded her head, "Yes you said that earlier but are you really sure?" She questioned clearing her throat, "I've never been more sure in my life, I've waited for this moment for more than ten years, we belong together and now we are free, clear to do so," Tracey picked up the chart she had been holding from the empty bed, "Suit yourself," She walked away not speaking any further, Marlene tucked her hands into the pockets of her jacket and took in a deep breath her thoughts rambling back to the emotional conversation with Tracey earlier. Marlene found her way to Grace's office, "Come in," She motioned to her as she hung up the phone, "Got a moment?" She sat down in front of her desk, "Yes but you don't look so good," She reflected staring into the blueness of Marlene's eyes, "I think Tracey is right," She blurted out, Grace looked at her strangely, "Right about what? I thought earlier there was an issue and you didn't feel comfortable working with her," She spoke in a passive tone, "She thinks I won't be happy with Rebecca, the baby, that we didn't have real chance to make a life together and I didn't give it the chance it needed," She lowered her head, "Marlene, I can see where you may have a lingering doubt about things with Tracey after all she came into your life when things were uncertain with Rebecca," Marlene stood up and walked to the window, "But I do have feelings for her," She turned around facing Grace, "A lot of what she said was true, I am worried about having a child, I mean I wouldn't do anything to hurt Rebecca," She replied honestly.

Grace got up and walked over to Marlene, "Rebecca is the love of your life and I'm sure if you talk to her about your fears and concerns she'll be all ears and listen," She embraced Marlene trying to ease the tension she was feeling, "Do you have any other patients this afternoon?" She asked, "No just paperwork," She replied in frustration, "Go home and talk to Rebecca, tell her what your feeling, put this to rest Marlene," She ordered calmly. Marlene walked out collecting her things and heading home she entered the cottage finding Rebecca upstairs working on a design, "Hey," She walked up behind her, "You're home early did you not have any patients?" She inquired closing up a box of pins she had in her hand, "Can we talk?" She expressed mildly, "Yes," Rebecca tidied up her things and met her downstairs, "Marlene you look as though you've seen a ghost," She took her in her arms, "Do you love me Rebecca?" She pulled back from her, "Why would you ask that? You know I do no matter what," She lead her by the hand to the sofa they sat down, "Is this about Tracey?" She pulled her chin up with her index finger, "I believe what she said earlier about us being unfinished was true," Rebecca swallowed hard staring into her eyes, "I said it at lunch, I can't expect for you to just be over her but you're here with me, you've asked me to marry you and we are going to start our family," Rebecca hesitated a second, "Unless your uncertain about this baby," Marlene began to weep, "I don't know, its been an emotional day for me, seeing her, listening to her pleas," She answered, Rebecca's head hung in sorrow she got up from the sofa and walked into the bedroom sitting on the edge of the bed her hands clasped together.

Marlene rushed into the bedroom and to her side she sat next to her, "I love you so very much and I don't want you to be afraid or worried that I don't want you or this baby, I just have insecurities sometimes and yes having a baby will be a challenge, one you and I didn't expect but I want you and I do want this baby," She reassured her, Rebecca's lips softly met Marlene's in an erotic kiss, "Hmmm," She pulled back from her slightly, "Make love to me Rebecca," Marlene begged with a grin, "Are you sure?" She whispered sweetly, "I've never been more surer." Rebecca's index finger traced the outline of Marlene's throat she could feel the ticking of her pulse through her skin she slowly unbuttoned her shirt slipping it off her thumb and index finger unsnapping the button on her slacks. "Rebecca," Marlene begged, Rebecca slid her hand down into Marlene's pants, "Your so wet," She laid her back sliding her slacks off she stripped herself laying on top of her pushing her mound against hers, "I love you Marlene," She kissed her ear sending her into a panting rage she tongued the side of Rebecca's neck with force and desire her moans vibrated in Rebecca's ear, "Does she kiss you the way I do?" Rebecca voiced sexually in a whisper, "Does she make love and command you the way that I do?" She could barely get the words out Marlene's teeth grasped Rebecca's bottom lip in twisted passion. "No one has ever touched me or held me the way you do, I, I," Marlene stuttered releasing her grip on Rebecca's lips and staring into the darkness of her brown eyes they mesmerized her as they always had teasing her and tormenting her with such passion and desire. "God I love you," Rebecca voiced uncontrollably they kissed wildly. Marlene rolled Rebecca over tracing and kissing her body in heated pleasure, Marlene's lips kissed her void piercing it with the tip of her tongue Rebecca arched flexing her hips and moaning lowly until she exploded in multiple orgasms.

They lay in silence, Rebecca's hand caressing the side of Marlene's outer thigh, "What are you thinking?" She proposed to a closed eye Marlene, "How we've finally made it to this place and that we are going to marry, my life has been destined to be with you that I was born to love only you, that you make my heart beat, my world turn and that all the reasons I have doubts are because I can't believe this is what's really happening," She versed, "Shh," Rebecca touched her index finger to Marlene's lips, "It's real Marlene, we are finally together and we deserve this and nothing or no one can keep us apart, we are going to be a real family living our lives the way we always should have," She didn't allow Marlene to speak she pressed her lips to hers her tongue explore the sweetness of Marlene in a tender yet rogue kiss. Rebecca got up on her knees gazing at the beauty of Marlene's nude body she laid on top of her caressing her soft skin with the tips of her fingers her mouth on her breasts her hands locking themselves to her hips, "Do you want me?" She whispered into Marlene's ear, "More than ever," She responded with a shorten breath, Rebecca obliged, her mouth and tongue made quick work of her void bringing Marlene to numerous climaxes. Marlene rolled over gasping for air, "God Rebecca, I love you," She winced groaning. Rebecca caressed the skin on Marlene's backside not saying anything they lay naked wrapped in the sheets of the bed, "How soon can we get a marriage license?" Rebecca finally uttered, Marlene chuckled, "Tomorrow, let's try first thing," She became serious in her talking.

"Good morning, sorry I'm late," Marlene, whistled in a happy tune entering the nurses station and peering at Grace, "Hope it's a good excuse," She cut an eye to her, Marlene paused, "Rebecca and I got our marriage license this morning and she has started to make me a dress," Grace clutched her in an embrace, "I'm so happy for you, really seems we need to plan a Saturday and soon before the weather changes," They laughed and talked as Tracey entered, "Morning did I miss something?" She walked over to them, "Uh, no why do you ask?" Marlene questioned trying to keep her news under wraps. "Because you appear happy and in any case maybe you've realized that what we talked about has, well, changed your mind," She moved more closer to her, Grace cleared her throat, "If you'll excuse me, I have work to do," She hurriedly left the nurses station not looking back at Marlene. "Yeah, uh, Tracey what we talked about I did give some thought to and your right," Marlene gave a half smile in continuance, "I do have feelings for you but I love Rebecca and I'm going to marry her and be with her we are going to have a baby and I'm happy," Tracey moaned lowly, "I really don't think you'll be happy Marlene and really you haven't heard me at all have you?" She questioned lightly, "Tracey, what we shared is another chapter in my life, one I will always remember but it won't change the fact that Rebecca is who I've been destined to be with, I know that you don't want to hear it at all, I never meant to hurt you in this way but if you must know we got our marriage license today," Tracey felt weak and sick she hung her head in grief. "Well I can't stop you," She began to weep, "And I can only hope that you'll come to your senses and see that we belong together Marlene," She gave her a quick stare before existing the room.

"I don't know if I can continue to work with Tracey, not in this way, so close," Marlene grumbled entering Grace's office, "You'll have to," She replied laying her ink pen down and closing the chart she was working on, Marlene crossed her arms in anger, "Its not fair," She vented, "Not fair?" Grace frowned as she answered, "You started this and now you have to deal with it, what did you expect? Did you expect Tracey would hide under a rock? Did you think Rebecca came all this way just to be snubbed?" Marlene bowed her head her face in her hands, "Set the date for your wedding, David and I are ready to host it, be done with it and grow up, there shouldn't be a doubt about what it is you truly want Marlene," Grace approached her and embraced her, "I love Rebecca Grace," She assured her.


	50. Chapter 50

**CHAPTER 50**

 **I take you as my wedded wife**

Rebecca ripped the seam along the pattern she had cut out for Marlene's wedding dress. "Hey," Marlene called out as she entered the door her tone melancholy, "Up here," Rebecca answered threading a needle and looking back towards the staircase. "Your home early, is everything alright?" Marlene grasped her and kissed her cheek, "Oh that color is lovely," She smiled ignoring Rebecca's question, "Its an off white Marlene," She cut an eye to her, Marlene sighed walking over to the small portal window and staring out at the waves batting the shore, "Tracey, I guess?" Rebecca grumbled laying her work to the side and joining Marlene at the window, "I think I've insulted and angered Grace," She slapped her hand to her side, "Grace?" Rebecca questioned with a furrowed brow, "I told her I couldn't work with Tracey, that it made things difficult and she, well she told me I should deal with it and grow up," Marlene looked at her with despair, "And?" She shrugged her shoulders, "Tracey has it in her mind that she will fight for me and that I'm making a mistake, that I really just feel sorry for you because you were so ill and might have died," Rebecca felt angst, "She hasn't a clue about you and I and I'm sure you've told her some things," Rebecca awaited her answer, "Yes, she just doesn't know everything, I never really had the opportunity to elaborate," She replied honestly. "Maybe you should have a one on one talk privately with her Marlene," Rebecca mildly advised, grasping her around the waist.

"What should I tell her?" She began to plead, "I love you, she's heard that enough I think, she knows some of the struggles we went through, I did tell her about my disappointment and my need to move on," She raised her brow to Rebecca, "Even though it was a mistake," Her smiled warmed Rebecca as she said those words she kissed the nape of Marlene's neck, "I wish others besides our family knew just what heartbreaks we went through to be together and the difficulties we were really faced with," Rebecca rambled remembering. "Can we not talk about this, Grace was very adamant that we pick a date," Rebecca flipped through the things piled on her sewing machine pulling out a calendar, "October, hmmm," She smiled and pointed to a date, "How about Saturday the twenty fifth," She remarked, Marlene slightly rolled her eyes, "Depends on the weather," She barked. "Well its only two weeks, lets look," They both seemed eager, "Well the weather seems promising," Rebecca flipped the television off, Marlene chuckled, "I'd marry you even if its stormy weather," She added grabbing Rebecca in a tickle they fell to the sofa kissing, "I should go tell Grace she'll be happy and relieved," She inserted running the tip of her index finger along Rebecca's bottom lip. Marlene stood up, "Want to go," She looked at her watch thinking Grace might be at home, "Actually, I have some things to finish up on that dress you go on and I'll see you in a bit," Rebecca had Tracey on her mind.

Rebecca slowly walked up to the door of Tracey's cottage she could see the light in the kitchen on through the shear curtain on the door she quickly knocked. "Who is it?" Tracey's voice rang from the other side of the door, "Rebecca," She answered her sharply. Tracey opened the door, "Does Marlene know your here?" She motioned her inside, Rebecca accepted walking in Tracey closed the door behind her. "No she doesn't, however its time you and I talk," Tracey leaned against the door, "Can I fix you something?" Rebecca shook her head no, "Thank you but we really need to talk about Marlene," Tracey sat to the sofa Rebecca joined her. "Marlene seems to think you will fight for her, that this with me is just a phase," Tracey swallowed hard as she stared into Rebecca's eyes, "I love her and I feel she loves me, its simple, we had a life before you showed up," Rebecca grinned, "I see and my returning caused this breakup?" Tracey sighed deliberately, "Yes, I guess you could say that," Rebecca grunted, "I'm sure she's told you of our history," She quickly cut in. "Somewhat but what's the point? Her life was beginning to start over with me and had you not gotten sick I can assure you the outcome would be much different," She spoke with confidence, "Marlene will never love anyone but me Tracey rest assured she may have feelings for you but when it comes to me," She hung on her word Tracey grumbled. "Why did you decide to come here and toy with her life, huh?" Rebecca frowned, "She belongs to me, I'm perfectly fine now, I'm over my sickness she could just simply walk away," She asserted with a sharp tongue.

Tracey didn't know how to respond she felt unguarded and angered, "Do you know what kind of fight we went through to be together? Do you really know about the months of turmoil and strife the stress of being in love with your own brother's fiancé? Her guilt knowing that she was in love with you and at a time there wasn't a thing you could do about it because it would tear both families apart? Marlene left my brother at the alter, their wedding day was a revelation for her he nearly lost his mind and forbid us to see one another," She stood up from the sofa her hand touching her forehead as she vividly relived it all, Tracey remained silent. "My brother tried to kill us, he ruined Marlene's singing career and he tried to ruin my life as well," She cut an eye to Tracey, "We lived our lives winning the battle but so many things came into play causing us to part and I really understand Marlene's decision to walk away from what we had, she was lonely and insecure about herself she needed an out, to find herself again, did I help matters?" Rebecca questioned her own self Tracey had a tear trickling down her cheek, "No, I made them worse, I worked constantly trying to get ahead of the game, I left her sitting and wondering, I cheated and I lied about it, I threw everything I wanted in my life out the door and I see differently now, how I let her get away without another chance, how I just waved the white flag surrendering myself to defeat knowing there would never be another like her so no I'm not about to give up on us, I'm beyond all that she's my destiny, my fate and she's what truly makes me happy," Rebecca became quiet. "Wow," Tracey summed it up, "So you blame yourself for everything?" Rebecca lowered her head, "Yes, that's the way I see it, she only ever loved me unconditionally," Tracey stood up walking towards the door and opening it.

"Its obvious you have a lot to make up for, Marlene is a wonderful woman who only deserves the best, are you sure you won't fall back into your old ways? Just so you know, I'll be waiting for you to slip up," Tracey stated in a convincing tone she showed her out, Rebecca felt elated but dejected had she gotten her points across to Tracey she wondered finding her way back to her cottage and relaxing on the sofa. "Rebecca," Marlene shook her shoulder awakening her, "Hey, I must of fallen asleep, what time is it?" She looked around the room in a haze, "Seven, are you hungry?" Marlene asked, Rebecca rolled her hand around on her belly, "I would say she is," They both chuckled, "She you say?" Marlene sat beside her placing her hand across Rebecca's small but noticeable lump, "I'm hoping for a girl," She dreamed out loud, "As long as its healthy," Marlene beg to differ before continuing, "Two o'clock sounds good to you?" She smiled as she asked, "That's fine," Marlene stood up, "Come lets enjoy dinner out this evening," Rebecca took her hand, "How about a walk along the beach first, the moon is bright," She gazed out the window, Marlene nodded they walked in slow pace hand in hand the moonlight lit their way, "Cool out this evening," Rebecca stated wrapping Marlene in her arms, "Grace wants to be in charge of the food, flowers, hmmm, everything," Marlene spoke placing her lips to Rebecca's, "I would say let her, I'll finish your dress tomorrow and you can try it on," Marlene stared deeply into Rebecca's eyes, "Pinch me," She giggled, "Why," Rebecca asked suspiciously, "I want to make sure this is really happening, that finally after all these years we are going to be together, united as one, in love, living our lives out as we always should have," Rebecca grinned. "Its true and you know what?" She voiced, "I'm in love with you Marlene," She mused they kissed romantically.

Marlene and Rebecca found their way to town walking hand in hand and into a small café they took a seat by the window that looked out onto the harbor, "I have to tell you something," Rebecca raised her brow looking over the menu she had Marlene's attention, "What is it?" She smiled, "I, uh, I went to see Tracey," She stuttered clearing her throat Marlene froze in a stare, "You did what?" She spoke under her breath, "Please don't be angry, I felt I had to Marlene, I just feel there's unrest and I want clarity before we marry," She spoke sternly, "God Rebecca," Marlene clinched her jaw tightly, "What did you say?" There was a rift in her tone, "I told her of our hardships that we had a history and that we had always been in love and meant to be together that I ruined things between us and how you loved me unconditionally," She commanded her words in certainty and sureness. "Well," Marlene thought for a second, "You, you, weren't," She hesitated, Rebecca cut in, "I wasn't mean or ugly, I was just truthful, I told her that you would never love anyone but me," She searched her mind, "I've told her that before, I ran into her at the hospital and we talked awhile back she wanted me to leave you alone," Marlene groaned, "I wish you wouldn't have but there is nothing I can do about it now she's hurt and angry and she knows that we had something special she's not going to let it go I'm afraid," Rebecca grasped her hand, "Marlene I think she knows that we won't be happy without one another that know matter what you may have had its not the same thing as what you and I have," She squeezed her hand tightly gazing into her blue eyes.

Marlene walked the sandy path down to the beach on Thomas's arm Rebecca waited under a rose covered arbor a slight breeze blew the ribbons on the wooden cladded beach chairs that seated the guest, Tristan along with Elisabeth stood by Rebecca, the day beautiful and sunny the sounds of the waves lapping at the shore was soothing, Marlene approached Rebecca, Thomas sweetly kissed her lips unlocking his arm from hers Rebecca clutched her hand with a grin, they faced the Justice of the peace. Dana flanked Kim as they turned towards Marlene, "Who gives this woman in matrimony?" The Justice asked with a kind smile, "I do," Thomas spoke happily and then took a seat, "Today is a very special occasion for Marlene Wolf and Rebecca Von Lahnstein, they have decided to give the gift of love, life and unity becoming one, Rebecca would like to share some very special words, Rebecca," He spoke looking at her and nodding his head, "Marlene, thank you," She began, "Thank you for loving me, trusting me and for giving your life to me, I love you with all my heart and soul," She looked briefly to her abdomen and then back up at her, "And for wanting to start a family with me, I'm honored to be your wife," Marlene grasped Rebecca's hands tighter, "Finally our destiny Rebecca our love how its suppose to be, as one, I love you more today than I ever have you are the thread that binds our lives together the fabric of our being, I take you as my wife," Marlene and Rebecca looked at the Justice, "Do you Marlene take Rebecca as your lawfully wedded wife, to have an to hold from this day forth, for better and for worse, in sickness and in health for the rest of your life?" Smiling she responded, "I do," The Justice asked of Rebecca the same, "I do," She remarked with a wide grin, "Your rings," He commanded, each took a band of gold, Rebecca from Tristan and Marlene from Dana.

"Marlene," He eyed her, "With this ring I thee wed," She slipped it on Rebecca's finger slightly turning it and grinning, "Rebecca," He nodded she began, "With this ring I thee wed" She placed it on Marlene's finger they held each others hands, "Then by the powers vested in me I now pronounce you married in unity, as one, you may kiss," They took each other in their arms and sweetly kissed the guests stood and clapped as they made their way up the path and towards the house. "Champagne everyone," Grace chimed as David helped pour the glasses, "Rebecca," He handed her a separate glass.

They toasted to love, life and happiness, Tristan with a keen eye pulled Rebecca to the side, "Walk," He motioned with a nod of his head towards the path, "Excuse us," She quickly kissed Marlene's lips, "Ok," She answered, "Somehow I nor Elisabeth really knows what's going on with you," He started to speak, Rebecca raised her hand, "I'm pregnant," She awaited his answer he had a look of shock on his face, "Pregnant? I don't understand," She quickly explained they walked back to the reception, "I should talk to Elisabeth we really haven't told anyone else in our family," She mentioned Tristan grasped her hand and squeezed it, "I'm going to be an uncle, again," He chuckled boldly, Rebecca and Elisabeth strolled off to the side she revealed to her what had happened with Eric and the baby. Tristan approached Marlene sitting his glass down, "May I have this dance?" She nodded, "Yes," He took her hand, "Well here we are," He started, "Rebecca is lucky to have you," He gazed into her eyes, "She told me of the pregnancy," He calmly added, "It was hard at first," Marlene winced, "I bet," He lightly smirked with a smile, "But I love her Tristan, I always have and we have the chance to have a real family," She answered, "I know," He smiled, "I know how great your love is for her and nothing or no one could ever stand in the way of it," Rebecca casually cut in. "May I?" Tristan broke away from them, "Well my family knows, it's time to tell yours," She rubbed her nose against Marlene's they swayed slowly to the music, "We will but right now we should celebrate," Marlene wheeled her around.

The guest sat down to a feast filled with wine, champagne and lobster bisque, "Does anyone have anything to say?" David asked, raising a glass of champagne to the two of them, Grace stood, "Where shall I begin?" She briefly questioned herself, "Marlene you are the greatest friend anyone could have and you taught me something, something very important that love is the strongest presence on earth and when you love someone enough nothing can stand in your way, I've seen that very love between you and Rebecca, the need, the will and the fight, I wish you both nothing but happiness," Marlene smiled, "Thank you Grace." Tristan cleared his throat, "My little sister," He broached his smile impish, "I never knew how someone could love another so deeply until the two of you fell in love, Marlene you are Rebecca's greatest love, a challenge I might add," He raised his glass a little higher causing the guests to giggle, "But in the end a challenge you've managed to tame, Rebecca take care of her, teach her how to be a Lahnstein, love is the greatest gift you could ever bestow on one another, never lose it," He sat down, Thomas and Elisabeth both arose standing side by side, "My daughter, when you first told me you were in love with Rebecca and you wanted to spend you life with her," He grunted lowly, "I was uncertain but in my heart I've known it all along that no one but Rebecca could ever make you happy, my wish is that you remain together and grow as a family," Elisabeth looked at him and then to Rebecca, "My dear sweet Rebecca, finally happiness, don't let anything stand in your way and above all have the courage and strength to admit to one another that nothing but love will rule your lives," A toast was made the clinging of champagne glasses filled the evening air.

Rebecca took Marlene in her arms a special love song was played as they danced alone on the open space of the patio, "Are we really here? Or is this a dream?" Marlene begged to question Rebecca, "I'm your wife, it's real," She remarked sweetly, "I can't wait to find out what our child will be, we have so much to look forward to our lives are complete Rebecca," She kissed her. "Marlene," Rebecca pulled slightly back from her, "Its time to tell your family of our news," She took her by the hand and as they approached Thomas, Dana and Kim they looked at one another, "I love you," Marlene whispered, "I love you too," Rebecca answered life has now begun.


End file.
